• Member Since 9th Sep, 2019
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

ExaltedFiction


I have no idea what I'm doing

T

This story is a sequel to Voices of the Father


Alone, this Human will raise his daughters to be the caretakers of the New World. They will become his legacy as the lives of mortals wither and die. But for now, the drama of the World today will challenge them to their limits.

Let the struggles of this totally normal family BEGIN!


Cover Art by: JodTheCod

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 68 )

Loved the first chapter, can't wait for more, going to track this and see of any one is made for it. So can't wait to see how you have them grow up.

10109453

The first 18 years of our regular lives contain a lot of events that shape us. But could you imagine the first 18 years of a pair of Godlike Alicorns?!

Btw I’m currently overseas (I’m literally using free wifi to comment this) I’m still writing but the updates might be a bit inconsistent.

Cute, funny, and powerful.

Can't wait to see where this goes.

10109716
I thought the funny parts were mediocre at best. Will try harder though.

10109774
The funny parts were cute and adorable, I loved how the girls intacted with each other even as foals. My thing is I would love to know about their mother! Was she a alicorn to? How did the father and mother meet? How did they fall in love or was it a one time thing? Or how could it be a one time thing since celly is older then Lulu? So many questions, so few answer! I need to know everything!!!!!! Tell me!!!!!

10110109
*Rummages in my closet for my time machine* I know I put it in here somewhere?! Damn it Twi did you get into my stuff again?!?!? :twilightsheepish:

10110164
*Hands Twi a Latin version of a book filled with knowledge from ancient civilisations*

"It was a pleasure doing business with you, Miss Sparkle. May our paths cross again in the near future..."

Nice story mate. It's not a story concept unheard of but your story so far has a hooking start. I'll be keep an eye on it

Yay I am happy I got my chapter!!!!! A little short but then again I eat through this shit like a fat kid and Smarties, none the less though a wonderful chapter. As for a thing for the foals that's what babies do babble nothing more. Also I find it cute and adorable that he replies to them as if he understands their babbles. Keep it up and don't stop writing. Oh and one more thing! In the prequal Lulu asks celly to tell her stories of their father, could this be that story celly is telling Lulu? Please say yes!!!!!!!!

10119996
Mehehehehehehehe... maybe... :trollestia:

(It’s not a yes, but it’s not a no either... right?)

Edit: I guess I could make the chapters longer, I just originally planned shorter but more constant uploads, unlike my other story which I try to make 5,000 words long each time.

I know babies babble a lot, I just don’t want it to seem SO repetitive that readers might find it annoying so I’m looking for a substitute.

I enjoyed the first chapter, I look forward to catching with the current chapter and see how things will go in chapter 2.

Not a very likeable future-ruler. Seems to only care about his "daughters." Other than that, he reminds me of Mr. House from New Vegas. Too sure of himself, more concerned with society's future as a whole than with the individuals that make it up.

10148459
I guess someone should remind him that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer aye?

The deserts of kharak hmm? We gonna see the Kapisi roll over a hill next chapter?

10208941
In the totally normal desert you see before you? Who knows what could possibly happen? :trollestia:

Seeing that Lulu and Celly were being nurtured, Apollyon stood back up and returned to his original spot, unchaining the aged book that was

maybe change this to suckling?

10218425
Could you give me a reason why? I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining, I just wanna hear the reason so I can note this down for future chapters

10219259
It seems lacking I detail and just straight the point with no transitional wording or other key elements such as describing the surroundings

10219267
I see, cheers mate, I'll start working on that.

So far i like the story and was wondering when the next chapter would be out

10252944
Hopefully before next Wednesday, however, there is just a few things I need before I can post the next chapter. I hope you understand :twilightsmile:

10219259
"nurture" in general means "raise someone" in the scope of, rasing a child. In this case, I wouldn't even use the word "suckle", but rather the word "nursing".
To nurse generaly mean to feed some in a natural way while suckling ona teet.
Best way I can explain it with my English.

10289704
Hmm, yeah I think you’re right, I’ll change that up in a second. Cheers mate.

I don't know why but this guy just reeks of the Warhammer 40K

10294322
Ah shit the Inquisition is here? I swear we didn’t forget to put mustard on your hotdog.

But what is it that makes him reek of 40k, my lord Inquisitor?

10294542
Other then the clear referance to the Blood Ravens, I'd say his use of "Higher Gothic" and a few of his mannerisms *cough cough* Human surperiority mindset *cough cough*

10304083
*Notices coughing* *Notices the icon you bear as your avatar*

HERESY!!!!

“It’s not like I’m walking a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known,”

At least his shadow isn't the only one that walks beside him :ajsmug:

This comment is reserved for individual likes and dislikes directed towards the chapter.

10148467
and packs laden with treasure are often low on supplies

This comment is reserved for individual likes and dislikes directed towards the chapter.

This comment is reserved for individual likes and dislikes directed towards the chapter.

There are some errors, likely from when you were making changes.

10491464
By the Man-Emperor of Mankind, it's Scarheart!

Loving your 'The Light of the Candle' story by the way :twilightblush:

Anyway, I'll give this chapter another read to fix those errors, cheers mate!

Very good story, but I would highly recommend an editor to smooth out the rough edges.

Poor Gryphons. They were way out of their own depth.

10508002
"People who terrorise and take innocent lives for money. They sowed their fate when they took this job... I'm just the reaper." - Raiden, Metal Gear Rising: Revengence, said as he stands over the corpses of several cyborg mercenaries.

This comment is reserved for individual likes and dislikes directed towards the chapter.

I just wanna ask a question before iam reading this,,
Romance tag? What for? You shipping human with someone?

10896309
Mate, I have no clue


10896399
I knew this question was coming, but the Romance tag isn't for the human

Just finished binging the entire thing. Excellent work! I'll freely admit it's better than anything I could hope to muster at the moment, keep up the good effort!

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