• Member Since 10th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Snow Moon


MLP:FiM fan like everypony else ~cheers

T
Source

Their universe has come to an end, two goddesses sacrifice what is left to make sure it doesn't happen again. But fate lets them start over somewhere else...

Twilight Sparkle was dying because of the magic flare she emitted during her entrance exam to Princess Celestia's school, when she was about to destroy herself along with everypony on the school grounds a deity offered the little filly a deal that would change not just her life but the world itself.


NEW cover art by Lmkyouki

Also thanks to G33kySt3v3 for helping with the editing. :pinkiehappy:

And thanks for those 5K+ views :twilightblush: and the 300+ likes :yay:

Twilight's team art by Lmkyouki

wow Featured 10-21-2018 ~ TY :twilightblush:

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 283 )

You have good taste in music. I may just put on the .hack//Sign ost disk two.

I wanted to link to the song, but apparently the original isn't available online. Kind of silly, if you let people get a taste of the music they're more likely to buy the CD. (And it is absurdly good music.)

This sounds pretty good.

I going to enjoy this, and I got feeling nova's lover is nightmare moon

Comment posted by kameosata deleted May 5th, 2018

This is really good but is English your second language?
I hope to read more soon keep up the great work

I feel so baited by that title. xD Now I can’s get that song outta my head! lol

Very enjoyable story, I hope for future chapters and good luck for you.

Wanderer D
Moderator

You need to clean up a bit your tenses in the story, but hey, for a first try it's not bad at all! Well done.

.hack//sign is my favorite anime, does this mean twilight is aura and nightmare moon is morrigan?
will the 8 phases appear? who knows but after reading the first chapter the darkness it taked about made me think of the wave.

Okay, I like the opening chapter, definitely an interesting premise and all. But, you do need work on your basic grammar, verb tenses and spelling. You should look for an editor if you want your story to have its full potential.

I will point out that Sunset never went through the mirror since this mirror was destroy so not EGU reference here.

If that's true when did the mirror get destroyed and isn't there anyway to repair it, I love the Equestria Girls World and would love to see them sometime in your story if you could do it.

8906582
Sunset will make her appearance on the next chapter with some backstory of her. :twilightsmile:

8906465
Thanks :twilightsmile:, yeah i will look for one while i work on the next chapter and fix the first 2 :twilightblush:

Im really iffy with theese type of stories and it seems that this one needs a bit of fixing also some minor errors within nothing too bad but yeah... has promis but bearly.

8906600
when is next chapter going to be out?

8917566
I currently working on it, so maybe 2 weeks from now :twilightsmile: (need to edit what i can before posting) :twilightblush:

I'll give this a track, but you should really get an editor to a fix the number of grammar and spelling mistakes in the story

What you should probably do is get an editor to fix those pesky spelling and grammar mistakes.

Do you need an editor?

8920887
I do, I'm still looking for one to help me fix chapter 2

please please please let discord and twilight be friends!!!
I BEEEGGGG!!!!

Hmm I noticed you have trouble portraying past tense. When typing think about how it feels in terms of past, present and future tense.

Other than that good start.

as long as you don't do the nightamre Rarity thing I am good.

“Oh thanks Celestia, you're ok.” Velvet continued to hug her ignoring her daughter struggling for air, “You have not idea how worry we were for your safety, even Princess Celestia has not idea where you disappear to.”

Twice you said not istead of no

8940163
no, I plan to use just some places or important characters that don't appear in the series. :twilightsmile:

8939999
sorry, no spoilers. :twilightblush:

you would have to find out next month :twilightsmile:

I get kick if somehow discord break free or start talk to twilight and sunbutt hear it but call twilight by another name,

Ah, hello again story I took interest in, it seems you've been updated. Though, no offense, the grammar could use a little touching up... But, if your author's note is to be believed, you're looking for help with that. And if you haven't found any already, I would like to express my willingness to help. I like to think I'm pretty good with English language...

On a side note, besides the grammar, over all well written, hope to see more soon

I really love this story and how twilightis progressing

Twilight was pleased with her mentor’s decision as she humped around Celestia in delight.

jumped.

There are others but that one was the only one I can remember. In any case you are doing a great job with this story.

lets gooooo!!!
good job so far!!!

Good chapter name and music

Hidden Forbidden Holyground

8947488
Thanks, although every chapter title have a song attached too:twilightsmile:

8904583

I'm not sure if they're blocked in your region (I know the original version of the intro to Saber Marionette J is blocked in Canada), given that they weren't at the top of the search results, but here's a copy of the track the story was named after:

(.hack//Sign OST - In The Land of Twilight Under the Moon)

...and here's the one the chapter was named after:

(.Hack SIGN Soundtrack - Key of the Twilight)

It's also not exactly common to find background tracks with vocals, but .hack//SIGN has a ton of them. For example, Fake Wings and The World.

(And don't forget .hack//LIMINALITY. Great intros and endings on those.)

Together with Noir, probably one of the most concentrated sources of anime music I love.

“Correct, I’m the Mayor by Miss Twilight’s request since my successor was the leader of all the crime groups of town,”

Either time-travel is involved or you meant "my predecessor was". (successor = one who comes after you. predecessor = one who came before you.)

she did found entertaining her vacations in the south.

  1. Use the infinitive without the "to" (basically, the present-tense form) after "did" when forming a more emphatic past-tense. "did found" is the more emphatic form of "founded" and you wanted "did find".
  2. "did find her vacations in the south entertaining", not "did find entertaining her vacations in the south"... unless it's the beginning of something like "She did find entertaining her vacations a bit odd, since vacations don't normally need to be entertained." (If it helps, what you're writing is actually "[She] [did find] [her vacations in the south] [to be] [entertaining]", but the "to be" can be omitted.)

the enemy didn't thought

As with emphatic "did", use the infinitive, minus the leading "to" when negating via "didn't".

"the enemy didn't think"

I love it but will she conceal her godhood from her parents and more importantly celestia
I hope so its ushally a good conflict

Is it just me or is the timeline off a little bit or did I miss something important and we are much closer to the start of the events of the show than I thought because the events that lead to various characters and being where they are in the story only took place a year or so before the show started and throughout show
Edit I just realized I don't actually know how similar this world is to Equestria and I'm just assuming that the only major differences our stuff Twilight effects

8955035
I'm taking some liberties with some events, specially those that are not really specified a time like Fizzlepop past and the attack to Hippogriffia.
And on my story we're currently 4 years before Nightmare Moon returns.:twilightsmile:
8954735
Thanks I will fix those.

8954780
She haven't told anyone except her friends/team and those that saw her after the battle.

sweet sweet victory!!!
im loving thiss!!

Dayum shit just webt down
Celestias just going to be like what the flying fuck twilight
i hope grubber isnt part of her crew he

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