• Member Since 24th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Arceaion


Greetings, my name is W. D. Arceaion former <Redacted> of <Redacted>. I was a Human till I accidentally shattered myself across Time and Space.

T

Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic and Hero of Equestria was thought lost in the event known as the Canterlot Catastrophe. But when a recon unit lead by Princess Celestia and Luna to see is anything can be salvaged from the castle finds traces of a survivor that leads them to her everything changes. However no one can live through what she has and truly survive intact, what will she do when she is saved? Will she even be the same pony, or something... else?

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 340 )

there

There is a lot of this going on.

Their = The possessive
There = Location
and just in case
They're = They are.

There was another story which was never continued with a similar, though different premise.

Twilight was caught in a massive chemical eruption which contaminated all of Canterlot and infected with a nanoswarm. The city as a whole was a toxic apocalypse with roving abominations formed by rogue nanoswarms and Twilight eventually escapes. Though, shortly afterwards she's shot in the heart and is forced to go complete biological replacement to survive, becoming more ponioid than pony I suppose. Completely forgetting the name, pity it didn't continue though.

i like where this is going.

keep it up

9026072
I hate these three words with a passion. I never get them right.

9026173
I know this story, and I love it! But at the same time I actually didn't have a lot of control of this story. I had to write this story because I lost a bet. My friend gave me the layout for the first chapter. He was the one who was in control of almost everything. Had I been in control I would have changed a lot of this. In fact had I followed his story layout to the letter it would have been real crap. What I did was change the story so that I can continue the story. I'll go into detail when I do chapter two but for now know that I will make this story better.

9026211
Over there is a group with a problem. Their problem is that they're trying to figure out which witch is which. They'd hit the witches with wood if it would help.

Few typos, but good nonetheless! This story has received a Stalk!

I really like the steampunk/clockwork genre. It's cool.

And now to go imagine what my own OCs would do in this situation because that's a thing I doooooooooo!

You certainly have my attention, sir

Ooh! Steampunk, magitech, oh my! Much me gusta:scootangel:

you have my attention do not disappoint

9026173
9026211
Among the Ruins, you mean? I noticed the similarities right away. 'Tis a pity that it isn't being updated, I haven't found any other good stories like that.

9026653
There was a chapter or three of some anthro obviously-inspired-by-Among the Ruins story a while back, but I can't for the life of me find it again. I can only assume it's been taken down, sadly.

9026211
I came into this expecting a 'my take on Among the Ruins', and was fine with that. Whilst I can't comment on the direction you're taking yet, especially without knowing what the original outline was like, I can say that I was pleased to find that this was interesting on its own merits. I find myself eager to know both where this is going and to learn more about Twilight's little dominion.

9026731
Don't worry, I'll cry with you.

...You're not crying, you say?

Umm... well... ah... Clearly you lie! Don't worry, it's okay to cry. No one will blame you.

:derpytongue2:

9026653
9026731
The original story layout was extremely close to Terminator mixed with Steampunk. The Reanimated were going to be the equivalent of a hunter/killer. Originally Twilight was going to face them on her own as a unicorn while trying to escape a broken city.

I however didn't like the setup and the story had very little potential. As I said in my first comment on this story I'll go into a more detailed explanation later.

All hail the Princess of Super-Science!

9026955
Yeah, something about being forced to write this story?

Anyway, I'd offer to proof-read this story for you, but my real life is being swamped lately. So, yeah... Just beware of those pesky they's, their's, and they're's.

9028419
I explain in the next chapter, thanks for the advice. Those three words always get me.

steampunk, tech hybrid twilight, this remind me of two story I enjoy very much, please keep this one going,

Why did you make the cover art so small?

I hope Twilight doesn't die in the story.

9029013
You're welcome. A trick I use is to remember that "they're" is short for "they are". Unfortunately, I don't really have any tips for the other two; the only thing I can say is that you might want to remember a sentence with proper usage so that you can remember which should be used when.

Correct usage:
They're athletes, and they train with their own gear.

Remembering that may or may not help.

Alternatively you can assign each of them to an easier word with the same usage:
They = He
Their = His
They're = He's (He is)

9030368
I just said that for safety, for authors doing this risk a warning from the admins. There is also the idea that it's unfair for authors who spend efforts and time writing a chapter, only for their fanfic's spot in the feature or popular bar to be taken by an update who only consists of an author note or any other non-story words.
Then, if readers really want to look for news about a fic, they just need to take the time to check the related author's blogs.

9030411
This is why I originally planed for it to be at the start of this chapter. but it was too long. I hate posting that kind of stuff when it has no relevance to the story, but it was necessary.

9030828
It is still forbidden by the website's rules. If it's necessary, post it in a blog and give the link to it in an author note at the beginning of a story chapter.

Whoo, an update--and a GOOD one!

update yea, and oh god hk-47 is here that make this story so much better

H.K. 47 was arguably the best part of the Knights games.

9047983
9047994
I think this would be interesting, HK-47 meets Prince Blueblood. Who would win the snark war of the century? :rainbowlaugh:

9048007
Now that I'm thinking about it I might just do that.:twilightsmile:

9048009
May Faust save us from that which thou hath wrought.

9048029

Notice: Faust.exe has crashed
Cause: An overload of sass and an HK unit.
reboot: Yes? No?

9048009
please do, i can see hk look at twilgiht some how and beg to kill the meatbag,

9048074
What started as a joke is now in the story.

Coming Soon: HK-47 Meets Blueblood
(Yes, this will be the chapters name.)

9048042
hmmmmmmmmmmmm... nah. I think she needs to reboot herself this time. Also, watching her lock up is both entertaining, and a good way to get back at her for locking me in the Aether... again...

9048007
My vote is for HK, if only because you know it would eventually dissolve and to threats of bodily harm and Blueblood would fold pretty quickly after that.

For those of you who don't know HK-47 and HK-55 are references to the Star Wars HK (Hunter Killer) units. HK-47 was the original assassin droid created by Darth Revan, while HK-55 was a bodyguard in the Knights of the Eternal Throne quest line on the game Star Wars the Old Republic. I also will be adding HK-51 later. HK-51 is an optional companion in the game Star Wars the Old Republic.

Knew I heard that somewhere! Been a while since I've been reminded of SWTOR.]

Also, just for the sake of it: TWILIGHT HAS A HORCRUX!

The other cores should have the personality types as the mares they're based off of

So the other five of the Mane 6 are core AIs or were they each named after Twilight's friends? So who were Twilight's friends if there's a chance the other girls never existed? So they need to talk to Shy!CORE to allow Twilight to go to Ponyville?

9059192
Yes all the other CORES have AIs, however the other main 6 are here. The AIs were based off of the others... maybe.

going to guess that the rest of the mane 6 old or no more, ie dead, and all of this is set year in future. and by family I guess twilight has few kids or grandkids about,

The story is set about 27 year into the future so Twilight's friends are still alive though they're older. Twilight doesn't have a family either Celestia was referring to Twilight's parents. However I have hinted at a possible lover. (It's in this chapter)

The CORES were originally only ment to monitor and control the power and steam for the cities but shortly after the 'Canterlot Catastrophe' they began to act on their own and their AI's became more sentient. Why this is and why the AI's took on Twilight and her friends personalities I'll leave for you all to theorize on.

If you have a good theory posted it in the comments as I'd love to see them.

i would like a explanation on the cores like Shy-core is it ment to be her freinds turned in to cores or more personifications of them i a robot form

Which one of your stories is the previous story?

Have her link with SHY-CORE

Very interesting...
I have to say, I've been meaning to read some of your fics for a little bit now (I have all but two of your works on my read-it-later list.) but I never expected such an interesting writing style.
My only complaint is the formatting of the speech, but other than that, this is one of the better (small) fics I've read.
For the formatting though, I find that (I'm not sure if it is a rule, but I find it reads much, much better) putting speech at the start and the end of a paragraph. For example:

(Edited)
"Welcome to Project Clockwork." The golem said calmly. "This way please."

The golem walked strait into the to large group of others and the sisters quickly ran after it. They followed the golem till they reached the other side of the room and it pressed a button on the wall opening up an elevator. The golem entered and hit the floor labeled 'C.O.R.E.S. Control Room'. The doors shut and the elevator descended. The group was silent till the doors opened with a ding and they stepped forward onto a cat walk.

"While I cannot control you I ask you to be respectful to MOTHER." The golem said as they began to walk down the stairs to the main floor. "I do not care who you are, she is our creator and guardian. When you entered the Ruins you enter her domain so be respectful."

The golems voice was still monotone but it was different at the same time. It had an edge that of warning to it.

vs.

"Welcome to Project Clockwork." The golem said calmly. "This way please." The golem walked strait into the to large group of others and the sisters quickly ran after it. They followed the golem till they reached the other side of the room and it pressed a button on the wall opening up an elevator. The golem entered and hit the floor labeled 'C.O.R.E.S. Control Room'. The doors shut and the elevator descended. The group was silent till the doors opened with a ding and they stepped forward onto a cat walk. "While I cannot control you I ask you to be respectful to MOTHER." The golem said as they began to walk down the stairs to the main floor. "I do not care who you are, she is our creator and guardian. When you entered the Ruins you enter her domain so be respectful." The golems voice was still monotone but it was different at the same time. It had an edge that of warning to it.

9066829
There will be some explanation but this is more of the over arching story line, the answer is given but at the same time it won't.

9066883
That's what I plan, Twilight technically can't/shouldn't even leave Canterlot with out having another CORE to assist in keeping her metastability in check but she really has no choice if she wants to leave.

9066854
Sorry I don't understand. This is my third story I've made on this site but I don't know if this is what you're asking, sorry.

9066886
Thank you, I will take your advice and work to better myself and my stories with it.

Hmm... there was quite a bit of an info dump in this chapter. I'd avoid doing this, and aim more for showing some of it and leading the readers to come to the same conclusion.

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