Imperfect
Chapter 1: Surprises and Revelations
“WHAT?!”
“AWESOME!” Every head immediately turned to Spike, who, in contrast to everypony in the throne room was the only one to have smile on his face. The rest of Twilight’s friends were... not so happy about it. Spike looked at the girls with surprise, as they were just gazing at him and Twilight, with open mouths and eyes big as plates. “What? My best friend’s marrying my older sister, I have the right to be excited! Woohoo!” he jumped and landed on his tail like it was a spring. “But I am a bit amazed too, I didn’t know you two like each other so much! When will be the wedding?”
“Next Friday…” Twilight choked out the words, hanging her head low and pressing her ears to back to her head. Her heart was starting to ache again, hearing only Spike speaking and the rest of her friends remaining silent… Were they shocked? What were they thinking about…?
“Whoa! You are fast Twilight!” Spike hugged his ‘adoptive’ sister tightly, not noticing her devastated state. “Were you meeting incognito, hiding from us?” he chuckled, ruffling her mane, he was so genuinely joyful, that his voice was breaking Twilight even faster. “I’m so so sooo happy for you two!” The purple mare shivered a little, still hiding her face behind her mane, looking down miserably. “One thing is still on my mind, I mean… Why didn’t Thorax say anything to me? Like personally? We’re best friends after all…” Twilight could hear accusation towards the changeling king in his voice. She sighed deeply and raised her head up, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
“It is probably because he doesn’t know yet,” she replied in deadly calm tone, not showing any emotion. Seeing her friends facial expressions, she could tell that they were ready to shout once again, so she quickly added, like she was reciting something “Celestia is now writing a letter to him. We are going to be married for the sake of The Changeling Kingdom’s future. Our union will help both of our nation to grow stronger with friendship amo-”
“Whoa whoa whoa!” Rainbow was first to break her state of shock. She landed near Twilight and took her head in both front hooves and looking at her with concern but also a hoping smile “Is this a kind of joke?! Tell me you are just joking and we will just laugh and forget about it!”
Twilight locked gazes with her friend, looking like a total mess, without the usual spark in her eye, one single tear flowing down her cheek. Rainbow let her go and took two steps back. “...do I look like I am joking to you…?” was all she said. The room became dead silent, nopony was brave enough to speak up. Twilight looked at every one of her friends with a voiceless call for help, for compassion, for any good word. But after meeting her devastated, dead look everypony looked away. Was that friendship? What happened to her friends? Always eager to help… Now scared… Always happy and full of support… now silent… So, this is what has happened. She will lose them as soon as she is wed to Thorax.
Twilight stood up and turned back, slowly shuffling her hooves toward the door. “That was all I wanted to tell you. You can go now…”
“Twilight…” the alicorn momentally halted and perked her ears back. Applejack was looking at her with incomprehension expression on her face. After few seconds the earth mare shook her head and stood up. “Wait a moment here! Give us a second… wut is happenin’? You n’ Thorax? Why? Why doesn’t he know? I... I don’t understand!”
“Twilight, darling… we know that it is serious… but… I agree with Applejack… we… don’t know what to say…” Rarity started, but was interrupted by Spike dashing to Twilight to hug her hoof tight.
“Twi, I... didn’t know it was… I thought you like him… and…”
“Speak for yourself, Rars, I KNOW what to say!” Rainbow stated, stomping her hoof on the floor. “A simple ‘No!’ is enough, I think! It couldn’t be your idea! Who did this?!”
“Calm down everypony!” Starlight raised her voice, seeing Twilight was getting more and more stressed and devastated. She put her hooves on the cutie map, to get the attention in the room. “I think we should let Twilight speak first and then we can say what we want to say…” she said quieter, looking directly at Dash, who blushed and bit her lip. When the throne room again became silent Starlight looked at her teacher with encouraging smile. “Come here Twi… I’m assuming that it will be kind of... political marriage, am I right…? Please… Tell us, you’re among friends after all…”
Twilight sighed and wiped her eyes with a hoof, coming back to her throne along with an agitated Spike. When they took their seats the lavender princess looked at her friends one more time. Here they are… waiting for her to speak… and they want to help... they care... How could she have thought differently? How could she have accused them of not being her friends? She smiled a bit, feeling more safe now.
“To answering your question, Rainbow…” the mentioned pegasus huffed a bit when she also took her, seat. “Princess Celestia said that after what happened with the changelings… there were problems…” she started, playing with a strand of her mane with her magic. “The nobility was in an uproar. They weren’t so delighted as we were about their reformation… they were demanding the subjugation of the changelings as reparations. Celestia, in an attempt to prevent a war, offered for me to mary Thorax.” she sighed sadly. “It is my duty as a princess to protect my subjects and those I love. That’s why I agreed. I can… I mean... We can save many lives by doing this. Celestia asked me first, that’s why Thorax doesn’t know yet.”
“That’s why you canceled our Friendship Meeting earlier?” Fluttershy asked quietly after a moment, and she sighed after getting a nod from Twilight as a confirmation. “Are you truly willing to do this, Twilight? Marriage is a big thing, you know, it can cha-”
“Of COURSE she doesn’t want this! Just look at her!” Rainbow shouted from her seat, pointing at Twilight. She was kind of right, alicorn looked like something the cat dragged in, she had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, her mane was a total disaster, she was trembling a bit and just plain awful. The princess of Friendship looked at the pegasus with concern, ready to defend her decision. “Is that a view of a happy bride?!”
“I don’t have to be happy. It is my duty to serve Equestria!” Twilight stated, straightening up a bit.
“No, you’re doing this for some nobilities’ fad!”
“It’s not like tha-”
“I think Dashie’s right, you can’t be force to marry some guy you don’t know! Especially in that short time! I need some time to prepare a bachelorette party for you! Can you at least postpone the date?” Pinkie Pie pull out her notebook and licked the end of the pen she was holding in the longest curl of her puffy mane. She flicked through few pages. “I have a free term iiiiiin two weeks, specific date is up to you, but you have to tell at least 5 days before!” she said in official tone, writing something with concerned look.
“Pinkie Pie! Can you, just once, stop behaving like facetious 5-year-old foal?!” Rarity shouted, looking a bit disgusted at her pink friend, who was now making a list of must-have supply for said party. “We are really serious right now!”
“Are you assuming Twi’s bachelorette party isn’t important?” Pinkie snapped, like what Rarity said was the biggest insult she had ever received. Twilight hid behind her hooves with a quiet groan.
“Wha- Of course not! But this is not important now!”
“Girls…” a quiet soft voice came from Fluttershy’s throne, but nopony seemed to notice.
“So, when are you going to make a dress for her? Or maybe you will just give her one from your old wedding collection, huh? Dresses aren’t important now...” Pinkie said, crossing hooves on her chest, looking offended. Rarity gasped astonished, covering her mouth with a hoof.
“How… DARE YOU!” she yelled. Rainbow groaned loudly and facehoofed hardly.
“For Celestia’s sake, can you two just SHUT UP?!” she screamed, hitting a cutie map with both hooves. “It’s not about parties or dresses right now! It’s about Twilight being forced to marry a changeling because of a ‘hypothetical war’!”
“She didn't say she was forced, it is her decision!” Applejack stated’ somehow keeping her voice calm.
“She was persuaded!” Rainbow emphasized, shooting a murderous look at her earth pony friend. “She was told to do that, you really think that she decided by herself?!”
“G-girls…”
“AJ, Dash, please lower your voices, you aren’t helping now, you know?” Starlight said, putting a hoof on pegasus’ shoulder, but she shook it off.
“Why, am I only one thinking about Twilight?!” she propelled herself into the air with her wings, looking down at her friends and hovering above them. “If the nobility thinks that changelings are so great a threat to us, we should fight them before they get a regular army instead of sacrificing Twilight, come on!” she groaned as it was obvious.
“B-but they aren’t a threat! Thorax announced their new land as peaceful, they only use force to defend themselves! I was there where the Maulwurf attacked, they could barely stand up against it, how they could be a danger to us?!” Starlight was getting nervous with every second and every accusation towards her friend. “There has to be another reason for this solution!”
“Girls.” soft voice was a bit louder this time, but again was ignored or lost in the quarrel.
“What reason?!” rainbow pegasus yelled, when lightblue magic aura pulled her down by her colorful tail, that she slapped her plot on the floor. She growled at the pink unicorn, pressing her ears down. “They have no reason to treat Twilight like this!”
“It has to be very important if they had to decide on something like this, Rainbow. You can’t just flood us with made up theories which could have no confirmation at all!” Rarity stated, trying to stay calm and cool-headed after her outburst.
“And you can’t just think about your fancy dresses all the time and, just once” Dash mimicked unicorn’s earlier words with a pitched voice and stupid smile, but quickly turned back to normal “care about our friend!”
“We care!” Pinkie interjected. “I think we should let Twilight’s do what her guts tell her to do. I do it and I’m completely fine. Mine’s saying ‘I’m huuungry, I would love to get some good, yummy cake’y!’ And maybe hers’s saying ‘You should marry Thorax, Twilight, it will stabilize the changeling’s land and help them become accustomed to their new lives’ and she should totally listen to it! She is a princess after all!” the pink pony said, getting a few surprised glances from her friends. “What? You think that a princess’ life is only flowers and rainbows?”
“B-but… we can’t let Twilight to be wed against her will!” Rarity stammered.
“Ask Celestia what she was feeling when banishing her own sister to the moon”
“It’s totally different situation here!” said Applejack, less convinced about Twilight’s decision.
“It’s totally the same! She has to do something against her will, but it will help her nation. If Nightmare Moon wasn't sent to the Moon, she could have destroyed Equestria, and killed thousands and etc. etc.” Pinkie waved her hooves in circles with a bit bored look. “It is Twilight's decision and now depends on her how her actions will affect future.”
“Girls, we should really calm down and just-” Starlight’s words were interrupted by another outburst of Rainbow.
“So that’s why she won’t do this! She is a princess, she can come up with another solution in 20 seconds flat!”
“Let her decide!”
“It won’t work, ya know!”
“We should prevent this from happening!”
“You just don’t CARE about Twilight and her feelings!”
“How dare you?!”
“Of course we care!”
“Care is my second name!”
“GIRLS!” everypony looked in the direction of the loudest scream they’ve ever heard coming out of Fluttershy’s mouth. The timid pegasus yelped with fear at her own outburst and the sudden attention, but now she had to say it. She exhaled and pointed at Twilight. “You say you care? You are arguing and didn’t even let her say anything. You’re accusing, without knowing the facts and only deciding for her without her input.” she said with a serious look with voice full of determination. “But she is still here. She has to listen to all of you argue. Did you all forget that?”
Eyes of everypony turned to Twilight’s throne. The Princess of Friendship was sitting on it, hunched over, looking at her hooves. Spike was still next to her, whispering words full of support and hugging her tightly during all the quarreling that just happened. Shame filled the arguing ponies and they became silent. Starlight was the one to break it, after few moments.
“Okay… we got a little carried away… We’re sorry Twilight…” she said sadly, looking at her haggard friend, who was looking like there was no life in her… No happiness. Like every piece of her was destroyed by her decision of marrying the changeling king. The lavender alicorn perked her ears a bit, hearing the quiet “sorries” and apologizes. She raised her head higher and looked at Starlight. “Can you… say something? Explain? We want to know… We want to help you…”
“We don’t want to lose you…” added Fluttershy shyly.
“We want the best for you” said Rainbow with small smile.
“We want to understand” murmured AJ.
“We want to be with you, darling…” Rarity assured her with smile.
“We want you to have the best wedding Twily!” smiled Pinkie. Twilight felt her lips pull into a weak but, true smile for the first time since the meeting had started. Eventually, she found her voice.
“Thank you everypony.” She said followed by a few deep breaths and exhales to calm her nerves.“ This was, in the end, my choice. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I could have prevented a war, but did nothing. I’m doing this for the good of both kingdoms, and if that means marrying someone I have no feelings for then I’ll do it.” She finished with an exhale.”I hope you all understand why I made this decision, it wasn’t easy but it has to be done.” She looked down shamefully. Spike gave her a hug of encouragement, which she returned in kind.
“It’s still hard for me to understan’ it… Like uhh... why would th’ nobility want to subjugate th’ changelings if they aren’t a threat to us anymore?” AJ asked, scratching the back of her head with her hoof and looking at Twilight with concern. Alicorn took few moments to think about her answer.
“All I know came from Celestia, I hadn’t had a chance to speak with nobility personally yet, but… “ she sighed quietly. “You know what happened during Chrysalis’ invasion, right? The most important ponies in our country were kidnapped and replaced: princesses, prince and bearers of the Elements, not to mention many civilians from different cities! In the eyes of international law, these were considered acts of war by the Changeling Kingdom. With the queen’s escape, transformation of the changelings, and releasing of the hostages the war was ended… and we won.”
“So, changelings are losers here and we technically have to right to demand something from them because they attacked us first and we won?” Dash was thinking out loud, touching her chin with a hoof. Twilight nodded.
“Yes, war reparations. First nobilities’ demand was to incorporate their land to Equestria and changelings to have almost the same rights as ponies…”
“Wait, almost?” Fluttershy interrupted quietly, looking surprised at lavender alicorn.
“They would be under annexation after all.” she quickly explained and sighed, looking at her hooves one more time. “Princess said she feels, like the nobility would attempt to exploit changelings’ lands and, in case of their resistance, they won’t hesitate to pacify them with force.”
“This sounds awful!” Rarity whined, covering her muzzle with hoof. Twilight nodded again, seeing as her friends starts to understand more and more with the explanation. Just as she was doing when Celestia was talking with her after the lavender alicorn accepted her apologies for misunderstanding. The young princess had made a full list of the pros and cons of accepting or not accepting this marriage, using all the information given to her by Celestia on the situation.
“They still want to organise trade routes with the Changeling Kingdom, but with me as their leader, I could control all the paperwork done there and look for any inequalities in any agreements or contracts who could lead to overexploitation or non equal treatment. With that, I can help the Kingdom to rise like a independent land, associated with us with an alliance and not like an Equestrian protectorate.”
“So, with your sacrifice…” AJ started but corrected herself under Spike’s angry gaze. “Uhh, Ah mean, with you marryin’ Thorax, they can still be a separate country, with independent rulers. What else will they get?”
“And, what that mean for us? And Equestria?” Starlight added.
“Well, we will have a trade route, as I said earlier, ponies and changeling will be free to travel between both countries and choose where they want to live or work. We know, that they can shapeshift into other ponies or even animals, so there will be of course a kind of security matter, to not let them replace somebody. This and even more matters will be discussed after Thorax’s decision, with both princesses, representatives of the nobility, and the changelings’ legation.”
“So… where are ya’ll goin’ to live?” came the southern voice of Twilight’s country friend. The alicorn was a bit surprised by this response.
“Huh?” was all the mare could reply with.
“Well ya’ll have yur’ castle here, but Thorax has one too, so where will you be livin’?”
“Y-you are okay with this? You’re not mad?” Twilight asked with genuine surprise. She didn't expect her friends to accept her decision right away.
“I’m gonna be honest with ya’ Twi, At first ah wasn’t so sure, but now that ah know you made this decision on your own, ah support you.” AJ finished with an encouraging smile on her face.
“I have to say, darling, this is mighty generous of you to give up some of your happiness to save countless lives. Agree with Applejack you have my support.” Rarity gave a smile of her own to her distraught friend.
“I think this is very kind of you to do this Twilight. The changelings really do sound like they need the help and it’s good of you to do this for them.” said the soft-spoken pegasus. “You also have my support.”
“Thank you Fluttershy, that really means a lot to me.”
“WOO HOO! I can’t wait for the wedding party!” Pinkie exclaimed while jumping around the cutie map in glee. Twilight, for the first time in the last two days, genuinely laughed at her pink friend's antics. There was one friend, however, who had yet to say anything. The rainbow maned mare sat on her throne in silence, looking away trying to avoid looking directly at the lavender alicorn. Eventually the prismatic mare let out a sigh of defeat and turned to face her friend.
“Fine, I’ll admit…. it’s very awesome of you to do this for Equestria Twi. I also got your back.” She finished with her signature cocky smile. “But that doesn't change my mind about that wimpy nobility just sitting on their plots in Canterlot,” she added quietly. Twilight felt her eyes begin to fill up with tears again, but this time they were happy tears. They didn’t hate her, they all still cared for her. They were all still her friend. Soon they all surrounded the alicorn in a big group hug. She welcomed it without hesitation. After what felt like too short a time they broke the hug. It was at this time that Starlight decided to speak up.
“So…. now what? Am I going to come with you wherever you live? How are you going to continue to teach me?” her student asked. This caused the princess to pause and think for a moment.
“I was thinking you could stay here and watch over the castle. While you are here you can continue to study the magic of friendship. Kind of like what Celestia did for me.” She proposed. The mare thought about this for a moment before nodding in agreement.
“I think I can do that.”
“What about me?” Asked the young dragon.
“I want you to stay here and help Starlight watch over the castle as well as send letters to me. I do expect you to give me a friendship report every so often.” She directed her last statement to her student.
“Can do!” Spike responded with a salute.
“I’ll write as often as I can.” Starlight assured. Twilight smiled at this. ‘Maybe things won’t be so bad after all.”
“So does that mean ya’ll be living in the Changeling Kingdom?” Asked AJ, as she made her way back over to the two ponies and one dragon.
“Celestia and I discussed it, and we planned for me to live here for six months of the year and the other six in the Changeling Kingdom. Though we still have to discuss it with Thorax to see if it will work.” She explained. It was at this moment that a belch followed by a burst of dragon escaped the young drake's mouth. The fire coalesced into a scroll, which Twilight caught in her magic.
“Woo, who’s it from?” Asked the pink earth pony excitedly.
“It’s from Celestia.” The alicorn replied before unraveling the scroll and reading it aloud.
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
King Thorax has replied to my letter and has agreed to our proposition. The Royal Ceremony of Engagement will take place tomorrow in the evening. I have already informed your parents and they will be there to give their approval along with mine and the nobility. I have scheduled a chariot to pick up you and your friends around noon tomorrow.
Sincerely yours,
Princess Celestia
Twilight stared at the letter for a moment, deep in thought. ‘This is really happening. I’m really going to be married to the King of the Changelings.’ Soon she looked up from the letter to see all her friends, along with her student and Spike looking back at her with concern. It was at this moment that the mare noticed the tears running down her cheeks. She was crying. The others once more pulled her into a group hug while giving her words of encouragement. She returned it with a smile and a silent thank you. No words were needed to be said, they already knew what she was thinking. They just wanted her to know, that they will never abandon them and give her all support they could give her right now.
***
The lavender alicorn was heading to her bedroom after she cleaned up and took a shower. It had been Pinkie Pie’s idea to bake together, as she said it was always a way of cheering her up. Everypony and one dragon soon found themselves in the middle of a food fight, and with everything covered in flour, dough, and sprinkles. At the end, of course, they did bake some muffins and small cakes and ate them together. Twilight was feeling happy and peaceful as ever. Once again she could count on her friends. She also thought that she would have to spend more time with them as much as she can before her wedding, so she invited all of them to have a big sleepover in two days.
After what felt too short for the young bride-to-be, Twilight sent Spike and Starlight to wash and go to sleep while she stayed to finish cleaning the kitchen. She needed to be alone for some time, to clear her mind before going to bed. So, yes. It was happening. Just today in the morning her most important worry was when the map will decide to call her or her friends to another friendship mission. And now… she is going to be an actual co-ruler of another country. She will have to deal with politics, administration and the economy of her land. Her… “Heh, I wasn’t even announced as their ruler and I’m already an egoist here” she smiled sadly, washing dishes with magic while sweeping the floor by herself.
She can’t forget about Thorax… who will be her husband in a matter of a week? She knows him. She likes him. But… she couldn’t believe that she was going to be his wife… Live with him instead of Spike and Starlight, sharing her whole life with him… Will she ever be able to love him, if she already thinks he is the reason for her problems? She sighed a bit. No… she’s doing it only because she wants to help the changelings and their land. She will be the one to make an alliance with the new Changeling Kingdom.
Twilight jumped onto her bed with a soft groan. She was exhausted. So many things happened today, her mood was changing so quickly as if she was a pregnant mare. She just wanted to close her eyes and let the dream world overtake h-
“Twilight?” she heard after three quiet knocks on the door. The alicorn raised her head up when Spike opened them slightly and peeked inside with a shy look on his face. “Can I…?” he started, making circles on the floor with his foot in silence. Twilight sat up on the bed looking in his direction with concern.
“What happened Spike? I’ve sent you and Starlight to bed almost 2 hours ago!” she said, lighting up her bedside lamp to see better in the darkness. “Come in, please…” she added, when she got no answer from him. The young dragon came, closing door behind him with quiet squeak. He silently moved to her and sat next to her on the bed. “What’s wrong…?”
“I couldn’t sleep… I was thinking too much about what you said earlier…” he said sadly, swinging his back legs a little.
“Spike… I already made my decision. I’m so sorry…” she started, but saw Spike was shaking a bit.
“You said you would never leave…” was all he said. Twilight was speechless. She was just looking at her dragon assistant with worry look, as he tightened his claws. “During the attack by Sombra a few years ago... “
“Spike… I don’t want to le-...”
“So take me with you!” he jumped towards her, hugging her tightly. “Thorax is my friend, remember? I could be your assistant there! I can help with everything! Please, take me with you…” he begged, raising his head up to look at her. Twilight felt heartbroken, looking into his eyes, full of desperate hope. “Don’t leave me alone…”
“Spike… you won’t be alone here…” The young alicorn tried to persuade the young drake. Taking a deep breath she spoke once more. “Spike…. you won’t be alone here, you’ll have Starlight and all our other friends.”
“But it won’t be the same without you.” He argued, tightening his grip on the mare as if she could vanish at any moment if he didn’t hold onto her.
“Spike… I know it won’t…. but I need you here to help Starlight and watch over the castle… it’s a very important job and I need someone I can trust to do it.” she explained.
“Important…” he repeated. He pulled away and looked into the eyes of the mare who practically raised him. “I... understand… just… promise to visit, okay?” he asked with a pleading look. The mare smiled at that.
”Of course Spike, I’ll also be sure to write as often as possible.” The princess promised. Spike pressed his face back into her chest and hugged her tightly. The alicorn returned the hug lovingly. “You will always be my number one assistant Spike never forget that. I love you...” She concluded. Soon tired young drake fell asleep in the lavender mares forehoves, but she didn't care. Laying her head down, while still hugging her little brother, she too, soon slipped into a deep sleep.
Seven mares and one baby dragon made their way into a carriage outside the castle of friendship. Once they were all in, the pegasi pulling it took to the sky with a few another flying near it, as an escort. Inside the carriage, many of the mares shared friendly banter with one another. The young drake among them was content to just sit and listen, adding in his own two bits every so often. One mare, however, sat in silence deep in thought while looking out the carriage window.
Twilight was currently thinking about the future. What would change? A lot that was for sure, In what way it will change is unclear to her at the moment. ‘So much has happened and is going to happen. Will I be able to handle it all…’
“What’s on your mind?” Asked a voice. The alicorn was pulled from her thoughts by the question. Turning her head to find her student sitting next to her on the carriage seat. Twilight blinked as she tried to process the question.
“This whole wedding, engagement ceremony, alliance and etc…” she murmured quietly, flapped her ears down. Starlight sighed. “I still have to get used to it. I'm going to be married mare soon. I’ve been always thinking I will marry someone who I love… and now…” lavender mare sighed and laid her head back on the seat. “... I'm marrying a changeling I barely know…”
“But if it really is that important for Equestria and their kingdom…”
“I know… I am honored that I can be the part of this alliance.” Twilight answered and turned her gaze back to the window, watching clouds and birds as they pass by. “It is just… hard for me to give up on my life… my plans… my future…”
“I can understand. We will all miss you. But, marriage and moving to other town is not the end of the world.” Starlight said and smiled timidly, hearing her mentor chuckle quietly.
“Yes… you won't forget about me… we will still be friends?”
“Of course!” she assured her with an energetic nod. “And… Twilight? Thank you for letting me stay in the castle…”
“It is not a problem, Starlight. I need somepony important to take care of it. And to…” the alicorn turned her gaze to her dragon assistant. “To take care of Spike,” she added in a whisper. Starlight followed Twilight's look to see a young drake talking happily with his two pegasi friends.
“You can't take him with you?” Starlight asked in similar tone, turning her gaze to the alicorn.
“I would love to have him there… but…” she sighed, forgetting words. “He is young… about to become a teenager… I don't want to give him more stress than he already has… after that kidnapping, you know…” Starlight nodded in silence.
“I'm wondering how Thorax is bearing this…” she said after few moments. Twilight's ears perked up a little.
Thorax… she wasn't thinking much about him at this time. She looked through the window, lost in her thoughts again. He is in a similar situation as she is. Given a choice: to marry her and save his country or to surrender to ponies and lose it. ‘I hope better than me…’ she replied in her mind.
“I mean” Starlight continued noticing Twilight’s change in mood. “Six months ago he was just a simple changeling, running away from his hive to find friends among ponies… now he is a king… and he is not-so-ready to be one…”
“Just like me when I became a princess…” Twilight said quietly with a sad smile. She took out a scroll from her bag and opened it. “Can you excuse me for now? I wanted to check this ceremonies’ scenario one more time…”
“Of course Twilight, I won't disturb you.” the unicorn smiled and moved away to give her teacher more space.
“Thank you for the talk Starlight,” she said with a genuine smile. She seemed to become more and more reconciled with every passing moment. “I appreciate that…”
“You’re welcome Twi.” she smiled and turned right to join in the girl’s conversation. Twilight was looking at her friends, stopping her gaze on every one of them. When she meets Spike's worried look, she gave him reassuring smile. He smiled back and got back into their talk. They were quite excited about the wedding, after the alicorn’s explanation. It is not every day when their best friend and Princess of friendship is getting married. Twilight was okay with that. She understood. She didn't want to admit it, she was starting to get excited about it too. And nervous… and maybe stressed… ‘Okay, Twilight, calm down’ she said in her thoughts, turning her gaze to scroll. ‘Thorax has to say the most of us…’
‘I, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and Harmony, am honored by your proposition, King Thorax, and am willing to become your wife for the sake of our subjects… I, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and Harmony, am honored by your proposition… ‘
‘Will you marry me, Princess Twilight Sparkle?’
‘I will.’
***
Twilight Sparkle was standing in front of the door to the Ceremony Hall in Canterlot Castle. The same one, where Shining Armor’s and Cadence’s wedding took place… and the same when her wedding will take place. She gave a deep sigh.
“Nervous?” Applejack asked with a small smile. Twilight checked her tiara on her head, as Rarity brushed her tail one more time. Everypony was already inside. She and her friends had to wait for the door to open and then come in.
“A bit.”
“Come on, Twi. You’ve handled more stressing things than a wedding” Dash smirked, hugging her friend with one hoof. The alicorn chuckled quietly, but quickly returned to her earlier, dignified look.
“We will see.”
“Oooh! The last group hug, everypony!” Pinkie shouted jumping on Twilight’s back and hugging her. Soon lavender princess was enclosed by her friends. We love you. We always will. You are our friend. Nothing will destroy our friendship. Hearing that almost made her cry.
“Stop stop! You will ruin her mane!” laughing filled the corridor when Rarity started to brush Twilight's hair with her magic. The ponies stepped away a bit.
“It is okay…” the alicorn replied with small smile. The big two-door gate started to open in front of them. The Princess of Friendship inhaled and straightened up. “Now or never…”
Hm. IMO, this was a really good follow up chapter. I liked that you elaborated a little more on her decision and why it was made, because even though I didn't say anything last chapter I was a bit confused on the actions of the nobility. So thanks for elaborating more. Both here and your revised version of the Prologue.
Overall, I'm actually really interested to see where this is all going so I look forward for more.
Keep up the good work my good man
8962690
Good to know. We saw what people were saying and realized we had to fit in an explanation of some sort. It did make the chapter longer, but it also improved the quality. Be sure to give your thanks to Julunis14 as well, she is major part of writing this story.
damn I never thought about what throax is going though
Excited to see how this situation will shake out.
Yeah. Celestia's reasoning doesn't save this story from a downvote. Why? Because this makes her look weak and pathetic when confronting this.
And the Nobility knows it. Hence why they did it. They know they can get away with it.
8962690
Thank you for the comment, we really appreciate that :)
We will still expand this whole 'nobility' thing in next chapters, so it will be more clearly.
We don't want to spoil anything too early.
8962782
Yes, the nobility needs more expansion on why exactly they want this and their possible secret motives.
At the same time I really really want something bad to happen to thme nobility, I don't know, COMMUNISM?
I was going to try and be helpful and suggest some edits/corrections, but (no offense intended), there were just too many. So I'm going to suggest investigating the possibility of a proof-reader instead.
Also I really hope we get to see some Noble's teeth get backhooved out of thier mouth, as a matter of principle.
Technically Celestia could play this technicality to her and Changeling advantage.
Celestia and Thorax should do a "kangaroo" peace treaty with both sides peace delegate filled by political ally of Celestia and Thorax. The peace conference should also attended by witness and guests dominated by pro-friendship domestic and foreign ally of Equestria that's also in the scheme. This peace treaty should be full of non sense phrase that in the end summed up "They lose, we win. Equestria take an "important
uselessand pricelessworthlessglorifiedous artifactstrinket" as war reparations. We will also open trade relations." The event should also be full of proper victory ceremony and should be as open to the general public as possible and also broadcasted to the whole Equestrian public as quickly as possible.This way the peace treaty will lock domestic warmongering Equestrian noble from war. Changeling has given official war reparations. General public should be sated by the posturing of victory ceremony. The ponies of Equestria will be conflicted when their noble call the to arms contratory to The Princess will. The International community opinion will be sided with Celestia's official peace treaty and will paint the noble's war as injust. Changeling position Internationally will be better.
The noble's war will be full of volunteers shortage. The most extreme of these warmonger could be tried as treason to the crown with public and international support.
So, Plan A, annexing the Changelings, can't happen because the nobility will take advantage of them. Plan B, leaving things as they are, can't happen because the nobility will go to war with them. So, Plan C, political marriage it is then. I'm seeing a pattern here. The nobility are the problem. A few sneaky pegasi with crossbows and this little problem could be dealt with, just saying. Of course, they'd never do that, but someone really should be yelliing at these pricks. Personally I think the engagement party should have the following moments:
Twilight stands at teh entrance, greeting the guests as they arrive, much like Celetia at the gala.
"Thank you for coming Prince Blueblood, it's wonderful to have your support. Now, if you'll just go over there to my friend Rainbow Dash you'll recieve your complimentary and mandatory punch to the face."
Later
"I, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and Harmony, am honored by your proposition, King Thorax, and am willing to become your wife for the sake of those selfish xenophobic ponies with the black eyes over there."
I like where this is heading, but I feel there are a few things that you should focus on. Mostly the rapid abundance of typos scattered throughout this chapter. Also, you seem to be poring to much sadness into this. After all, she's getting married, not going to her parent's funeral. The Best advice I can give to improve this is to keep an eye out for typos and make sure the emotional focus of the situation is natural. I still would love to see how this story plays out.
Ultimately, no matter how you try to string it, the reasons to shove Twilight into an arranged marriage just aren't going to hold water against anyone who analyzes it. Either through hilariously bad precedence, or hilariously bad characterization on the part of a character base cut from whole cloth (IoW: 'The Nobles'), there are a million ways the scenario just doesn't pass muster. And even more ways for the powers that be, who be the ones with the actual power (legal and literal) to stamp on the problem.
But ultimately, the point of the story is to throw Twilight and Thorax together so we can watch them turn into snuggle-buddies. Probably would have been better to just throw the preamble out the window and handwave it as 'shenanigans', but what's done is done.
8967039
Thing is we have already had two proofreaders go through it. I'll talk about it with my co-writer, because she is the one who knows them.
8967099
Here is the thing, though, there is much more to this than shipping them than just to ship them and write cute moments. Now there will be a lot of that don't get me wrong, but there will be way more than just shipping. This story does indeed have a direction and a plot structure. I don't want to spoil anything because we legitimately have some interesting things in store for this story. I'll admit that when we first started writing it was meant to be more shippy than actual plot, but my co-writer and I have for the most part fully fleshed out major points of the story and the over all direction. I'll admit we may have executed it poorly, but I can assure you it's more than just a ship fic.
That aside I'm glad you stuck around to keep reading. I hope you like the later chapters considering what I mentioned above. I am considering your criticisms and making mental notes on them. I really appreciate it, it helps me improve.
Wow this is really good! Hey did you know that spikes gonna jolt and get wings? What if you incorporated that into your story? Keep up the good work!
8971340
I actually knew about it before the episode aired. I'm not one to fear leaks.
I'm glad!
Have a like! 👍
And a moustache
So I get why the political marriage is needed...or at least I get the story's logic on why it is needed. What I don't get, is why it must be specifically Twilight that has to go through the marriage. Why not any of the other princesses (well okay, excepting Cadance, seeing she's spoken for already), most especially Celestia? In fact, Celestia, being seen as the head princess in many ways by her subjects (sorry Luna, but let's be honest, this is still the case), seems in many ways like the more logical pick, so why not her? It doesn't help that Celestia is pushing for it to be specifically Twilight herself, and gives the feeling that Celestia's trying to weasel her way out of it, which I don't think is your intention...but that is totally the impression you're conveying.
And why resorting to political marriage as if it's the only option? Because I'm not so sure it is--why not set up Twilight as a sort of ambassadorial figure or supervisory leader over the changelings? It'd overshadow Thorax's power of course (though somehow I think he wouldn't mind the help), but you'd still achieve pretty much all the same goals, and history shows governments did that all the time. Just look at the Romans and the many territories they controlled at the height of their empire.
Basically, the whole thing still seems awfully contrived, rigged explicitly so to ensure there is shipping involved--hence my earlier comment stating the story is shipping for shipping's sake. This chapter helps round the rough edges a little...but it still hasn't fixed, well, any of the core problems. It's too forced, the in-story logic not solid and full of holes, and over all just feels very rigged and it ruins its credibility.
I think you would've had way less trouble if you had instead started the story off with the nobles demanding some princess marry Thorax but weren't particular over who, and when the princesses sat down to decide who it'd be, Twilight thinks it over and, despite her apprehensions, volunteers herself, partly to protect the changelings and partly to spare the other princesses from going through what she's about to. It'd give you basically the same premise as you've already got, but it'd be a lot easier to swallow.
I'm also miffed at how complacent everypony is being about this. There was some initial uproar from the rest of the Mane 6, yes, but after Twilight explains things, they just concede there's no choice and proceed to go along with it...ignoring completely that Twilight is clearly not all okay with it, and the fact that many of them weren't either, hence why there was an uproar in the first place. It sort of defeats the whole point of the uproar in fact...at least it doesn't leave it feeling like the matter's resolved any to justify that shift. Spike's also all over the place in this. At first he's all onboard with it, then he's indifferent, then he's got apprehensions of his own, and then he's back to complacent himself...it sort of feels like you don't know exactly how to approach him, or at least don't have a plan for it and keep shifting your approach as new ideas come along, not taking into account that one idea may not be compatible with the first.
And why can't Spike come along? Seriously, leaving him behind to guard over a largely empty castle on a contrived reason that Starlight needs looking after seems like it'd only be even more stressful to him than bringing him with, so if Twilight's serious about sparing him such stress, keeping him close and letting him come with seems like the smarter option without question. And I don't get why Starlight has to stay either--she doesn't have to be at the castle to learn friendship, she should be wherever she's needed to learn it from her teacher, current or former, so why can't she come along too, or at least let her decide for herself? Knowing Starlight, she wouldn't be against hanging around the changelings, plus she's friends with Thorax and knows him better than Twilight to boot.
You also completely blurred over the reactions of Twilight's family to all of this too, and I'm sure they've got PLENTY to say about all of this too, probably more than Twilight's friends did.
Again, it all seems very contrived and not well thought out. And choosing to just stubbornly press on with your original plans without addressing all of these problems will NOT make them go away. They will always be there, critically weakening the foundations of this story and hurting it's chances of success.
As I said before, there's the start of a good idea here. It just needs a lot more thinking through, and probably a complete re-work of the whole opening premise at least. But it's more than salvageable--you just need to be willing to go the extra mile to do it, and I highly urge you to do so. Choosing not to will not help you to be a better writer, it will only hold you back. On this, I speak from experience.
8967173
No, it's definitely a ship fic. It may have additional non-shipping plot elements mixed in, which I heartily approve (seriously, I do. ) but it's still at its heart a ship fic, and always was. It's the only reason why you'd start out the fic in such a forced direction--it's the ship you're really writing for. If it weren't, you wouldn't be so adamant it must go in explicitly this direction and would be a bit more willing to work out the faults me and others are bringing up.
I know I sound so critical and unfriendly in all of this, but I do mean it when I say you do have an idea that does intrigue me here--it's just got some serious logistical faults, and its frustrating because they could be easily overcome with a bit more work that you seem to be trying to avoid, or so is the impression I'm getting. And, again, I know from experience that isn't going to get you far if that's the case.
I greatly urge you to reconsider revise this story's concept. It could only help.
8973013
I know it needs a rewrite, but if I go back now and change it this story will never be finished. The last couple of weeks my life has grown incredibly hectic with graduation right around the corner and my mad scramble for a job I've been preoccupied. This story will be going on hiatus after the next chapter because my co-writer will be gone for the next month. Normally this would give me time to plan a rewrite, but I have another story I've been putting off for almost a month now and I want to get back to writing it before I lose interest in it.
On the regards of Celestia... yeah that's all intentional. I don't want to spoil anything, but someone is pulling strings behind the scenes, so to speak.
As for the political system that should be explained in the chapter after next.
I understand this won't solve all the problems with this story but know that a lot more of this was intentional then it first appears. Also understand that this is only chapter 1 out of a potential 20. We are trying to avoid an info dump on the readers as much as possible.
I appreciate the comments and I look forward to seeing them in the future.