Family Appreciation Day-the announcement
"C'mon AJ, hurry up!" The blue filly exclaimed, galloping down the hall at top speed. "Or we're gonna be late for miss Cheerilee's class!"
"I'm hurrying! I'm hurrying!" The orange filly with the yellow mane exclaimed, trying to keep up with her friend. "I can't believe we both slept in this morning!"
Rushing along though the hallways of Dream Castle, Baby Bowtie and Baby Applejack were desperately trying to reach their classroom before the bell rang. They had just made it into the schoolroom, as their teacher started ringing the school bell, and were barely in their seats when the teach finally came back down the steps from the bell turret.
"All right, students, class is about to start!" Cheerilee declared "Please play attention!"
The rowdy group of fillies and colts finally came to attention, and fixed all of thier eyes on the teacher at the front of the room. Cheerilee trotted forward to the front of the class, and sat down at her desk.
"Now class, being as how we've been studying the importance of the family to Ponyland society this semester, I've decided that we'll be having a 'family appreciation day every Monday." The pink mare explained. "Every week, one of you will bring a member of your family in to speak to the class about what they do for Dream Valley. But I also want you to prepare a report on your family's history, and what contributions they've made to equine society."
As the teacher with pigtails looked down at her papers, the students began discussing things amongst themselves.
"I know who I'm inviting!" Clipper declared proudly, tapping a hoof on his chest. "My dad Fireball! He's a general over the whole Dream Valley army!"
"My dad's a Pirate captain, so I don't think Miss Cheerilee would like that much." Baby North Star looked down. "Blimey, I guess I'll have ta invite me mum, to talk about her exploring adventures."
"Ohh, this'll be sooo nice!" Baby Posey declared, a smile on her face. "I'll invite mommy Posey in, and she could tell the class all about pretty flowers!"
"I'm sure that'll be great!" Baby Surprise declared, silently pulling a pair of cymbals out of her desk in the chair behind Baby Posey. "And I'm sure the class'll get a BANG out of my guest!"
"Hey AJ, who you thinking about inviting to your family day?" Baby Bowtie asked her friend, sitting in the desk next to her. "Maybe your dad could come in and tell war stories?"
"Nah, dad's helping out in the orchard picking apples." Baby Applejack sighed, shaking her head. "I'm gonna need something really special to really wow em'!"
"Ohhh, I know!" The blue filly beside her exclaimed, a grin spreading across her face. "What about your mom?"
"What? Are you crazy, Bow?!?" The filly gasped. "The crankiest and most sarcastic mare in all of Ponyland?! In here talking about picking apples?"
Baby Bowtie just shrugged. "Hey , couldn't hurt anymore than Mama Surprise coming in here and talking about exploding whoopee cushions, right?"
"I guess you're right..." Baby AJ admitted, as behind them Surprise lifted the cymbals high over Posey's head unnoticed. "I'll go ask my mom tonight if she'll-"
CLLLAAAAAANNNNNNNNG!
"AIEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"What in the world!? Baby Surprise, where did you get those cymbals?!?"
"Miss Cheerilee! Baby Posey isn't moving!"
"Oh dear.... Class dismissed, early everyone! Tic Tac Toe, Quackers, help me get Posey to the infirmary!"
....
Elsewhere, the adult ponies of Dream Valley were dealing with their own issues. And as usual, they were about as serious and immature about things as their foals
"So how many stitches did Baby Posey need again?" Bow Tie asked, as she and Buttons trotted through the Dream Castle courtyard. "Six?"
"Seven." The pink unicorn replied, shaking her mane in disgust. "If you ask me, both mother and child Surprise should be thrown into the loony bin."
"Well, I still hope Posey's little girl is going to be okay." The blue earth pony replied, as the approached the stage that stood outside the castle. "Oh look, Applejack and Cheeries Jubilee are already here!"
Up on the giant pink stage that resembled a baby's bonnet, the two earth pony mares were glaring at each other. It was well known throughout the castle that the two resident fruit pickers did not really like each other, and the fact that both were the final two candidates for the pony who would decide the theme for this years parade of costumes... well, that only made their rivalry all the more intense.
Cherries was dressed in her red flamenco dress, showing her off as the carnival queen most ponies believed her to be. And AJ was dressed in her usual formal attire- the pink and green dress with white polka dots- an ancient Rarity original, given to her by her fasioneista friend in another time and place. Both had clearly gotten all dolled up to make their presentations, but the question was if they could stop growling at each other long enough to actually make their proposals.
"Hello there, you two!" Buttons greeted them with a smile. "Okay, hit us with your ideas for the Parade of Costumes gala."
"All right girls, picture this." Cherries stood up on her back hooves, shaking the maracas in her hooves. "A Cherry carnival, with banners and bows and streamers in a lovely cherry red!" She danced a step, and clicked her hooves together. "Picture it! The festival can have a cherry-themed dance, cherry juice tasting contest, and-"
"Actually, ladies..." Applejack smiled, bumping Cherries with her flank, and sending her flying off the stage. "I believe apples would be the better theme for the parade of costumes!" She flipped her elegantly coiffed mane, her green dangly earrings and hair gem glistening in the light. "Imagine, cider of all flavors at the Satin Slipper, a dance filled with all sorts of apple decorations. It'll be a glorious apple-tastic celebration of-"
"Why you old fossil!" Cherries snapped, storming back onto the stage. "It should be cherries that are the starring fruit of the festival!"
"Why you little brat!" AJ snapped back, snorting steam from her nostrils. "It should be apples!"
"Cherries!"
"Apples!"
"Cherries!"
"Apples!"
The two mares stood on stage, screaming at each other, while the two mares sitting down in the seats only shook their heads.
"This is ridiculous, they're acting like two children again." Bowtie sighed. "Why don't we just go with Posey's tulip theme this year?"
"Sound better than all this bickering." Buttons agreed. "C'mon, let's go tell Glory we made a decision, and go get a pizza from the Satin Slipper."
The two mares got up and trotted away, with the two arguing earth ponies too busy screaming at each other to notice.
3923404
I apologize for removing your comment, but I would prefer comments have commentary and criticism of the story content. I do appreciate the two of you pointing out the typos and spelling errors, but I wish you had actually left some details on the content with the corrections, instead of just putting a rude picture in. The other deletion with only the correction and no rude picture I apologize for removing, that was an error.
3923404
Knowing Tornado, he didn't delete them.
3923568
There's no need for that.
I find this story rather interesting.
Tornado, I wouldn't go as far as to delete this piece entirely. There is a good concept that could be unearthed when done properly, and you shouldn't let a bit of hatred stop you from at least getting out your second chapter. My apologies for not referencing the comment in this. (I have no idea how!)
I will admit that there are a few areas that could use a bit of touching up on. For example, the double use of barely in the beginning of the story could have been replaced with a bit more word variety, as could the excessive use of the word baby all throughout the beginning portion of the story. However, these are merely simple fixes, and nothing to fret over. The other thing that I happened to learn while writing on Deviantart was that when you've established what a character looks like, or if the audience already knows what a character looks like through common knowledge of the show, you don't need to refer to them as a specific colored pony or something along those lines. It would be much easier to just state who exactly is speaking rather than input a description of the character while establishing who is speaking, and ultimately won't break the reader from the piece.
But, as I said before, don't delete this simply because there have been some hateful comments against you. Hell, you might just want to keep this around, A. as a reminder for the future for how far you've grown as a writer, and B. to show you what to improve upon in the current time. I'm not going to say this is perfect, but I will say it's worth keeping, no matter the down votes.
(Sorry if I came off as rude... I'm not the best when it comes to the social game...)
3923863
Thank you for the imput, and I will look over some of those changes in the fic. Though I will point out the 'Baby' thing is actually a G1 naming device. (They actually were mini versions of thier moms, literally named 'baby ___' after the parent.) And if there's enough intrest, I'll keep the story going.
Love the concept, you shouldn't delete this awesome story
I don't know why it got so many downvotes in less than 24 hours. It's the same as your other stories.
3923568
Don't.
You've already got a great idea that few came and did. All you need now is some pre-readers to help you iron out the problems. Plus, this story is yours and no one else. It wouldn't be wise to just delete this fiction when someone told you to.
The first step to success is always a failure. Revise chapter one (thought I haven't read yet, but I'm going to assume this is the problem), and I'm sure you will get better reviews and ratings.
You're actually doing the idea.
Plus, with Cheerilee playing a supporting role in this, it would be interesting to see her take on Applejack's history.
Also, should most of the foals have learned about bits of AJ's past already to make it look interesting ?
Please, I wish to encourage you to keep up the good work upon such a great idea like this one as it's off to a great start.
P.s. Did Applejack ever kept her old hat or not ?
Nice premise, and I like it so far. Glad you didn't pick up G1s habit of making the baby ponies talk in Hulk-speak, too. It's like people in the 80s never listened to kids speak or something.
I take one look at the comments and wonder what the heck happened while I was sleeping last night.
Don't delete this story Tornado, just because there are a few neigh sayers in the audience. This a great story and I encourage you to continue, you only have to read the comments and see that you have an audience who love it already, including myself.
I am definantly interested in hearing what AJ got up to in the thousand or so years of her immortality.
In case I wasn't clear in my last comment, I am enjoying it.
Gets in between Applejack and Cherries Jubilee okay you two that's it the fruit theme is going to be blueberries and that is final!
3925060
Grapes
Sometimes getting a pizza is the only thing you can do.