• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...


The Flim and Flam brothers show up at Sweet Apple Acres, claiming to be relatives with a problem.

A cute, adorable little problem who will turn the Apple family inside-out.

Editors: Peter, Tek, TheMaskedFerret, Pascoite
Cover picture: Clipart

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 107 )

First comment reserved for the author.

Welcome to eleven chapters of country goodness, with a couple of scheming unicorns, one adorable foal, and the inestimable Applejack. I'll be posting one chapter a day, starting June 1 in honor of our own Mistress Mare-Velous, Wonder Woman and her solo movie. This is a little lower-key than some of my previous stories, so don't be looking for Michael Bay explosions or heart-ripping, but instead just enjoy the show and *try* to figure out just who is lying about what, when.

You may be pleasantly surprised.

By the way, this fic was inspired at least in part by Bookplayer's A Flim Flam Family Affair and Noble Thought's Coming Home. Well worth the read.

"You be polite to these worthless scoundrels, or I’ll take a switch to your hide."

Best line ever.

Also, regarding the contents of that little wagon...

Looks like it's time to pull out the popcorn.

Oh, you know it's good dialogue when you can actually hear the voices of those vaudeville-sideshow scam artists. Good, practical Applejack voice too.

Looking forward to reading future chapters!

Well now. A maze of deception, duplicity, and apple trees awaits. It should be quite fun to navigate.

Also, I adore the juxtaposition of Granny's hospitality and her low opinion of her guests.

Ah, so my favorite two con artists are up to no good again? Then I will be there too. I will await the next chapter eagerly.

Oh my god they stole a foal.

“Your cousin’s name is Apple Sprout,” said Flim, holding the unicorn foal up to his chest. “And she’s my daughter.”

Even with that I'm still somewhat betting on my first guess.

I can't help but hate them still.

Well, I think they're telling the truth. Only problem is, I have no idea how dilute the truth they're telling is, or how watered-down it is with horseapples and chutzpah. So good job, I think?

Also, has "Viva Las Pegasus" happened in this 'verse?

And yes, Granny Smith's hospitality is far from basic. It's downright acidic, really, and it's amazing. :pinkiehappy:

I really thought about calling this chapter Little Lies but didn't because there are some whoppers in there.

Can't with to see how this one ends. Don't get too attached AJ. It's gonna backfire somehow!!!!

Hey now, them FlimFlam boys is plenty honest!

Sure, they's honest thieves, but that's still honest. I mean, kinda.

You'd think that after the whole Las Pegasus thing Applejack would be at least a little more trusting towards Flim and Flam.

Got a feeling that taking in Apple Sprout was NOT the a brother's choice and they only researched their family tree to find a relative to leave Apple Sprout with. I think they are related to the Apples and Sprout is Film's daughter, but they have scammed and conned their whole lives, I don't think they can do anything with out somehow working a con into it.

Good to see Applejack didn't let those mentions of the Appleoosa project go by unnoticed. Of course, now the question is what precisely that project is.

“Scamming widders and orphans,” muttered Applejack under her breath while Flim continued talking.

After a moment, I realized that that describes the Ponyville Apples to a T. A rather disquieting realization, that.

AJ's reasons for choosing childlessness are both understandable and a well-executed emotional punch to the gut. Of course, plans rarely survive contact with the enemy, and time is the enemy of us all. Now let's see how she handles this sudden addition to the family tree.

As for Big Mac, I just hope he can avoid getting crampon marks through this ordeal.

The question is whether this is after "Viva Las Pegasus." My gut says no.

I don't particularly buy that orphanage story.

AJ would be a more logical choice for magically induced wet nurse. I'm not sure Twilight is up to that conversation though, either for AJ or especially for the brothers.

8205888 8206196 I've got Viva Las Pegasus placed *before* the Flim-Flam comic mentally. Or you can just ignore it if you want, because the brothers had no character arc in the episode. They were crooks going in and crooks going out.
8206250 Would the brothers lie? About a foal? Really? You think they're that low? (snerk)

So I take it that the Ponyville mares don't know about Sugar Belle yet. When she finally visits Ponyville a lot of mares are going to be disappointed. I hope none of them get jealous over the fact that they've been trying to "reach Big Mac's summit," for years in competition with the other Ponyville mares only for an unknown outsider to swoop in and plant her flag in a few days.

I have to admit, even though I feel like I should know what's what, you've got me pretty lost on what's truth and what's a lie in most cases. Damn, I really should know better.
Either way, this sounds like it's gonna be good. Faved.

I like the reflection on the fact that Applejack has basically had to be both big sister and mother to to Apple Bloom at the same time. No wonder she gets along so well with Twilight Sparkle!

8206806 "It's your classic Cinderella story, a young hopeful comes out of nowhere to lead the pack."

It was total chance that put a Saturday title on a Saturday published chapter.

You know, I know the whole point of this is the brother's are lying or pulling some sort of scheme, but I'll be damned if I don't want them to be telling the truth. I love a good redemption story.

8208138 Seconded. Of course, if they are telling the truth, then Marian is the one who gave up the foal and Flim is the one who spent his life savings to get her back, so it seems unfair that Applejack acts like the filly's good qualities all come from Marian.

If anypony could do make a spell to do that, Twilight could.

Don't need the first 'do'.

The Peterson brothers have a couple of cool videos. Very cool kids.

I'm not sure about even the princesses not being able to unseal adoption records. They are the ultimate authority in the land and if not unseal they should be able to at least look and confirm the listed parents on the birth certificate.

Love your Story, well a modern Combine Tractor can do one hell of a lot with the proper attachments and saves thousands of work hours.
They can pick,sort,Thresh and store with the right gear installed.

So Flim and Flam have just invented a magically powered tractor of sorts with multiple PTO attachment points? This could make for an interesting agricultural revloution of sorts if this is not some sort of scam...

Also, combine harvesters courtesy of the Wurzels:

A librarian named Marian? I see what you did there.

Hey, liking the new interface and the way it looks. Here’s your next dose of lies and double-talk from our favorite con artists. Hey, it’s an art.

(Did anybody see the theft that went on in the last chapter? Don’t worry. It will be obvious later.)

Edit: Oh, and you have an option to have the story *read* to you now. Very nice.

8210863 As Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, she lacks the ‘Big Stick’ of the Royal Sisters. Heck, she can’t even get a cab ride in Manehattan.
8211255 They can also spend eleven months out of the year quietly in the shed and break down the moment you put the key in to start harvesting. Them fancy city people with hundred-thousand dollar cars who keep ‘em in the garage and show ‘em off ain’t got nuthing on a farmer. We have machines worth a half-mil that we only get out for two weeks at a time, once a year, and they *pay* for themselves. :ajbemused:
8211330 The Wurzels are great! Love their Wurzelphone.

8208138 The best lies have just a little taste of the truth in them.
8208251Do you think AJ may just be a little bit of an Unreliable Narrator?
8211582 They’re perfect for pegasi. I’ll bet Rainbow Dash had one, and was #1 rated with it too.

Yeah, Apple sprout stole my heart. There’s your theft.

But actually no, I didn’t see it. Now I have to re-read it. Curse you.

8212470 Not honest Applejack, the most reliable pony around! :raritywink:

Yes and No, There are Companies that go around with combines to Harvest Various crops and they do stay Busy.
So a Farmer Singular who could afford one would do as you say but but those who can’t or need extra help.
Give these Guys a ring have to do it in advance they do stay pretty busy with the various growing cycles for various Crops.

I know their planning a fast one but the idea properly applied here would work very well.
If they made the Device a modular set up it would have been a whole lot less complicated for their plans.
Instead of a machine that could do every thing at once,just a base machine that Modules could be added for the tasks the owner needs.
The Various Machines could be sold in Ordered Packages with Modules they require Extra modules Sold Separately.
Or the Customers could order the Base machine and order Various modules as they wish.

8213115 Don’t forget the optional undercoating and the extended service agreement. And extra networking package, with 0G coverage.

I’m doing an extra update tonight, just to see how this works. But don’t worry. I’ve got a big piece of cake for all of you tomorrow.

It's hard to feel sympathy for those two. The fact is, Flim and Flam just keep hurting people, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. When they make an honest effort to do right by someone other than themselves, then I might become invested in their redemption.

Honestly, on the fence about this one. They stole evidence, yes, but they then turned it around for money that they aren’t seeing a tuppenny bit of. If Twilight brings up patents, I wouldn’t be surprised if they insist it be in AJ’s name.

It won’t change how much she hates them, but it would be a nice gesture.

You guys know me too well.

She wanted to shout at them, to scream until her throat hurt and kick the two dishonest unicorns down the road for as long as she could stand their corrupt stench. The angry words she had heard from Marian echoed in her head, but on the other side, she could still see Princess Luna, who had betrayed all of Equestria and still been accepted back by her sister without reservation.

One of the foundational message of the setting is redemption, after all.

Making the machine work for a mass market, mass production environment could be profit for everyone, particularly the currently pissed investors. I bet they'll be less pissed if they start getting royalty checks in the mail.

I have a feeling Applejack is still being played like a fiddle here. :ajbemused:

I'm still waiting for her to do something besides sit there and let other ponies tell her what to do.

Well, there had to be some sort of scam, the only question was what. Unicorns don't change their spots so easily.

They’ll be gone in the morning and life can get back to its new value of normal.

I doubt that. Too easy.

That we do. 😉 And that's why we love your stories.

Still, while Applejack worked for the rest of the day, she could not help but wonder just how a mustache would feel in a kiss.

So that's their game! They're trying to steal all the mares!

:facehoof: I don't know how I managed to fall so far behind on this story. At least I'm caught up now.

As for Flim's confession, I find myself skeptical. Especially that alleged paternity test spell. And while the emergency bit cache does explain where some of the investment capital went, it seems like there are quite a few bits still unaccounted for.

Plus, this is a Georg romance. We're due for a "one member of the pairing leaves, except not really" moment. :raritywink:

Two chapters a day is working better on these. And there will be cake at the end.

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