• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen March 23rd

HoofBitingActionOverload


The sexiest man you've ever met.

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What does it mean to be immortal? Celestia has lived for too long. Her memories are old. She has seen many ponies, and many places, and many times, and many stars, and many dreams. She wakes one night to find she does not know the ponies and the stars of today from the ponies and the stars of any other day she has lived. She no longer knows what was real and what was only dreamed.

She desperately searches for the one pony she knows could not have been a dream.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 80 )

Haunting. Not sure it it's Dark-tag material; more Sad than Dark, but gripping nonetheless.

Celestia sees the observatory tower. She cannot breath.

Should be breathe.

Brighthoof has been dead for five hundred years.

Perhaps a nod to Lost and Found?

3945666

Perhaps a nod to Lost and Found?

I'm amazed you caught that. I didn't think anyone would. Good observation skills.

While the concept of immortality is often discussed in fiction here, I have not seen anything quite like this before. The use of Celestia's memories and doubts as a way to drive the story forward was interesting, and I enjoyed the positive tone of the ending.
A solid piece of fanfiction - treat yourself to a like and a favourite. :twilightsmile:

3945704
Thanks! I've been re-reading the Twiluna and Twilestia canon recently, which you can't do without running into Cloudy Skies. L&F's final fight scene between Twilight and (ghost) Brighthoof was classic.

Should be breathe.

Ugh. Did I miss that? I am ashamed.

This was an elegant and poetic story. The use of memories blurring together to confuse the most powerful being in Equestria is a nice idea.
I like this tale, so it gets an upvote and a fave.

This is one of those too-rare pieces of prose that you can lose yourself in after a single paragraph. It said more than the words it contained and I thought it was beautifully done.

So thanks for that.

Beautiful.
This storyー beautiful.
Though pictures can say a thousand words, this story alone created a more beautiful and stunning gallery that had yet to be seen. You took something mainstream, something overly used in the fandom, and painted it into a new portrait; it stood out against a white wall. Only in a couple thousand words did you drag your readers into another world of love, sadness, hope, and regret. A well-deserved like and favorite.

Great story, can't accurately type a response because feelings.

10/10 would cry over again.

This was a lovely story. It took an idea and really clearly presented in a way which really captured the emotional resonance of it. Characterwise my feelings are sort of confusing. It felt to me like a Celestia who exists, but I didn't quite feel it matching up with either the show or my own conception of Celestia. I am in the complicated range of liking the presentation of both characters and yet not finding either of them particularly in character. I enjoyed the story very much regardless.

I also enjoyed the title. Greatly. It's probably the reason I read this story.

I don't know why, but The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkle is perfect for this.

Normally I'm not fond of dreamy, unclear prose or haphazard narration, but this story strikes a good balance between telling the reader what is going on and immersing them in Celestia's confusion. It's not really heavy on plot, and has a rather thin ending, but given the interpretation of Celestia and immortality those aren't really a big deal--it gives the reader a bit more room to interpret things, which is rarely a bad thing.

+1 from me.

Good story. Damn good story.

Time to bust out the ol' brain bleach, Tia. :rainbowlaugh:

Seriously, though; nicely done writer. :raritywink:

Oh god the mindfuck. I felt as lost as Celestia as I was reading this.

I don't feel like I can put into words how I feel about this story. It was one of those breathtaking stories that just exists, a force and emotion unto itself. I can say nothing except that it was really, really amazingly good.

Great job.

Very interesting, touching and insightful immortality blues :eeyup:

Hmmm I find this story more sad than dark.... although there are hints of dark tones in there.. good job.

I've often experienced that feeling where you've just woken up from a dream and think you're still in it. And vice versa, when you've just woken up without dreaming, but you're convinced that you are.

It always leaves me going "Wait, what day is it? What time is it? Who am I again?" What I'm trying to say is, this story nails that feeling. It's disorienting as all hell, and in a very deep-psyche kind of way, even kinda scary. You think you've experienced something, you remember things, but none of it has ever happened.

To sum it up with one word (and image): Nice.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/31/62920__safe_animated_octavia_reaction+image_clapping_artist-colon-mihaaaa_clap_applauding_applause.gif

A wonderful piece that grabbed my attention and held me through to the end..:twilightsmile:

In shadowed sleep and half remembered dreams
I wander, wondering at what is real
For nothing is quite ever what it seems
And I'm no longer certain what I feel
Is based on truth, or some forgotten tale
I've seen upon an ancient, burnt-out stage
Or even just a broken, dusty trail
Through shattered thoughts of love, and grief, and rage
After so long the images are blurred
My mind, my vision, and my memory
Call out, but all too often are unheard
And worse, at times they simply disagree

And yet I find some peace from history's sting
Whene'er I rest beneath my sister's wing

Sonnets come from me when I am moved by pain or beauty, joy or grief, or other powerful emotions. Such as those I felt when I read this story. Thank you.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

3973110
This is absolutely the greatest comment I've ever had on one of my stories. Thank you so much.

3978031
You are most welcome. It was much deserved.

One of my sweeties has increasing cognitive problems due to long term nerve damage and other ailments that are affecting her ability to think and process information. It's scary as heck to observe, and this story touched on that a bit. And yet... in spite of the sadness there is a touch of hope, and that's something dear to me.

I hope I can offer my wing to my sweetie as lovingly - and effectively - as Luna did for Celestia.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

Sometimes they have nothing for me, but other times I really love Seattle's Angels for introducing me to something good. I love a unique premise, and this is one of the most unique takes I've ever seen on alicorn immortality. It's dreamlike and deliberately confusing, but also compelling and giving a clear sense of character from both sisters.

I was particularly happy with the reveal that Luna suffered the same condition. It seemed at first like it was a problem unique to Celestia, because she was in such an awful state over the whole thing and Luna seemed so much more composed. Instead though, their different behaviour is because they're different characters that handle it in different ways, and I love that. It's also very congruent with my own ideas of the characters as they appear in canon. Despite her being the little sister, I did always interpret Luna as the stronger of the two (in both a physical and an emotional sense), and in all the bleakness on display, it was sweet seeing her being the one to comfort her older sister like that.

It's a very nice piece of work, thought it's never made sense to me that the rules of a universe would lead to such distress; why let billions die so quickly while keeping only a few alive if it only leads to heartache and distress? She is completely reliant on sharing that baggage with her sister, unable to connect with anyone else.

That was a wild ride from start to finish. Like a roller coaster that just kept going down and down and down.

So good I read it twice. Listened to this during that second reread.

In that moment, Celestia knows just where she is and just where she is supposed to be.

I was listening to "Welcome to Wherever You Are" by Bon Jovi as I read this, and that sentence lined up perfectly with "Right here, right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be" in the last chorus. Those five seconds just gave me more hope for my life than anything else.

Great story.

Thanks.

3973110
And that is talent. :eeyup:

Can I post that on my user page? With credit, obviously.

These Alicorns seem to have maxed out their memories. It is not surprising that Luna forgot the mother of her Friend SnowDrop after over 1 thousand years.

4026020
Oh! Um... thank you very much. By all means, post away. Maybe my one story (I'll write more some time this year, I promise!) will get more traffic :pinkiecrazy:

More importantly I am flattered and appreciative that you wish to repost my work. Please do, with a link to the story that inspired it so if anypony wants to they can get the full context.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

Although I had problems "getting into" the story, once it took off, I found myself reading faster and faster, carried forward by Celestia's panic and confusion. It felt as if she suffered from Alzheimer's, drifting between memories and imagined events, unable to pin herself within time. Having Luna confirm their common problem, and both gaining strength from each other, made for a very satisfying conclusion.

I love this story. It's not close to my head-canon, but it's a beautiful exploration of an interesting concept to play with.

I don't know about the ending, where Luna reveals that she has the same problem--seems this would have come up before. There are things like that from this point:

“I…” Celestia turns and looks up at the stars. Her sister made them. Celestia thinks they are beautiful. “I have lived for a very long time, sister. I have seen many ponies, and many places, and many times. I lived a long time without you. Sometimes… sometimes I worry that...” She turns to Luna and tries to smile. “But not now. I know you are here, with me. I am in Canterlot, and my little ponies are safe. I know that now.”

... and after, that probably wouldn't need to be said between them.

I fully expected this fic to end with "Celestia woke up".
Frankly, the happy ending makes the "Dark" tag a bit misleading.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Aw shit, I'm cry, son D:

That was really...something, dude.

Well played.

Beautifully put together. This fanfic avoids both the extreme of "not engaging enough" and "melodramatic." You've done really well with this work, Bro.

How many thousands of years of dead friends and regrets at past failings before your mind starts to snap under the strain? How long before the past, present, future and the infinite 'maybes' of imagination become indistinguishable and it becomes impossible to determine when and where you should be and what you should do?

I think that the time has come for Celestia and Luna to call Twilight and Cadence to Canterlot... whilst they still have enough sanity to surrender their crowns without bloodshed.

3945704
Haven't read Lost and Found, but who in their right mind would name 20+ chapters of their story 'Lost'. That's just crazy.

Oh, goody. This got on EqD. I did think it deserved a place there.

A very interesting take on immortality and the kind of effect it can have on a person's psyche. Very different from what is usually depicted.

The curse of immortality.
Those two are lucky to have one another. Having ever lasting life and being alone would be hell.

Fantastic story that makes you think.
I'm off to read more of your work!

An intense story that really gets an emotional response. I've only read a few other of your stories, but enjoyed all that I've read. Great work, greenthumbed! Queuing up another story of yours for my read later list, "Just Being Pinkie Pie".

This is well done. Celestia is a wonderful character into play with. There are do many places and directions one can go with her, and while the ramifications of her immortality is a common place, there are plenty of ways to examine it, and this is one of the rarer ones.

I think I get a feeling akin to this from reading a lot of fan fiction, in that sometimes I'm not entirely sure what version of the characters I'm looking at, and whether they've had the experiences I think they have. It's sort of unique to fan fiction, since the genre is populated by slightly alternate versions of the same cast we know so well but who may not share any underlying continuity.

Wow, this story is beautiful. I got lost in the fic after the first paragraph, and it held my attention till the end.
I really do like the end of the fic when she finds Luna. It's a nice peaceful and happy moment.

You did an amazing job of capturing immortality, and the curses that come with it. Luna and Celestia are lucky to have each other as anchors in a changing world.

Finally, some of those verses were deep, and they really hit me.

The stars have changed. They have moved across the skies. The oldest have faded and gone. The youngest have just begun to shine. Celestia has seen constellations break apart and come together. Where do the stars go when they plunge into darkness?

It really effected me, because lately I have been watching older people that I knew since I first joined this fandom slowly leave, and I'm seeing newer people start to take their place. Heh, I'm starting to feel somewhat like Celestia in this fic...

Sweet hell this is hauntingly beautiful. Wonderful, wonderful work

I probably shouldn't have read this when I'm still 90% asleep at 3:29 in the morning. Poor Celestia and Lulu. That'd be almost as horrifying as what would happen to humans if they had immortality, since as we age are brains perceive time faster and faster. With immortality eventually entire civilizations would pop up and turn to dust in the blink of an eye. People would be alive one second, then a blink later their 52X great grandchildren are being buried in the dirt, dead from old age.

But being so old that your dreams and memories overlap until you can't tell reality from dreams. That must suck so much balls. Now I'm going to sleep and hope that I don't get pony nightmares from the fridge horror of this. Good job ^_^.

Twi's immortal now what about here friends :fluttercry: she' gonna watch them die?

4650568 It has been stated that Twilight actually isn't immortal, and neither is Cadence.

Mm that was a tasty story, so much philosophy and questioning of the world. There's an actual human thing with perfect memory were things like this are known to happen. This story shall be part of my immortality sucks argument now

4650587 Saying that "Twilight will not outlive her friends" is not the same as saying twilight is not immortal.
1) her friends being linked with her through the elements might also be immortal or will be later
2) She will sacrifice her self and die before her friends (not likely)
3) Twilight will not outlive her friends with in the show as in the show will end before any of them die.

In other words the question of whether or not she is immortal has not been answered.

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