• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2020


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


The Crusaders are looking for the perfect gift for Scootaloo. Twilight is testing out a new spell on Rainbow Dash. When Twilight is distracted for a minute, the crusaders whisk Dash away leaving nopony the wiser.

Will anypony realize the incredible Rainbow Dash balloon is more than a pool toy?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 38 )

I wake up to this.
Dammit, Kaidan, I didn't mean to literally not stop!:rainbowlaugh:
Now, where'd I put that wing tape?:facehoof:
I'd like to see one of the balloon ponies pop! Maybe a spell that causes ponies to suddenly inflate and burst into little tiny plastic shreds? would Pinkie burst with streamers? THE POSSIBILITIES!:pinkiecrazy:

That's probably not what Dash meant when she told Twilight to blow her... :rainbowlaugh:

That slice of life tag is very questionable.

Well, for certain values of "slice of life"... Some slices of life can be weirder than the others. :twilightsmile:

I won’t switch Pinkie’s shampoo pancake-syrup.

Needs a "with," I think?
Another amusing update. Now with less clop! :twilightsmile::heart:

Balloon ponies! Balloon ponies everywhere!

Also, congratulations, Twilight! You've put one of your friends in danger again! :rainbowlaugh: :facehoof:

It's what she is best at.

Your wish is my command. "Popping Pinkie Pie" coming right up!*
*actual existence of this story may vary.

Celestia must have heard how badly Dash wanted Twilight to blow her. :trollestia:

Just an ordinary day for a pony turned balloon.

Well, I blame you, because I just wrote a darkfic exploring the topic.
Warning! The ending is nothing near happy. Actually, you might cry. I blame you.:pinkiecrazy::derpytongue2:
I haven't posted it yet, but you'll see it in due time...

Too bad, the only thing that was blown was Dash's ego...

Why does this remind me of Toy Story 3?
Nevermind that. This story is very... umm. Strange. Good, but strange.

My lucky couldn’t get any worse. I was stuck in this claustrophobic nightmare, powerless as I heard stallions working and loading the boxes onto a carriage.

years later Rainbow is found by Twilight and when she is turned back to normal she is completely insane and constantly muttering something about revenge and Twilight turning ponies into toys :derpytongue2:

Well. That was a good, if slightly horrifying read. Time well-spent reading, though.

...but did anypony else think that maybe RD was entirely too calm, even through her dread-laced realizations of her situation getting incrementally, then exponentially worse? She certainly wasn't enjoying things by any stretch of the imagination, but were I in her horseshoes, I think within ten minutes my stream of thought would have been "LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT" or words to that effect. :rainbowderp:

Here's my take on the ending, I'll even use do it dialog style with pony emoticons to show reactions :D
(and and Photo Finish is going to the icon for the orphanage director because we're short on icons.)

:twilightoops:: "Oh no, this is bad, this is really bad! Where did Dash blow off to? No one has any idea where she is now! (Shoot, this is really bad...)
:trollestia:: "Oh hey Twilight, just checking in, what did that spell I sent you do? It's never been tested before. What did it do?"
:twilightoops: "....umm... n-nothing." (If she finds out I lost Dash from that spell, I'm going to be punished!)
:trollestia: "Oh? It was a dud?"
:twilightblush: "Yes ma'am, in fact I threw away the parchment it was written on. It's a useless spell."
:trollestia: "Okay, carry on."
~~~~1 month later~~~~
:rainbowderp: (where is Twilight? I'm starting to lose track of time...)
:coolphoto: "The students all really like that balloon! Man I'd never give it up."
*knock knock on the front door*
:coolphoto: "Who's there? Hold on I'm in the other room, coming..."
:coolphoto: "Oh, its you again, I told you we don't have any pony balloons here." (gah, this mare is annoying, why does she want our best toy?)
:twilightoops: "I'm totally out of leads!"
:coolphoto: "Look, ma'am, just buy another toy at the store. Stop coming here, we have no balloons!"
:facehoof: "But I need the original one that I lost! You sure you never saw it? There's a tiny, tny chance it was packed and sent here?"
:coolphoto: "It's not here. Why do you need your original so bad? Buy a new one!"
:twilightsheepish: ""Uh.... I need the original because... "
:facehoof: "Nevermind..."

~~~~3 months later~~~~

:twilightangry2: "I haven't slept in months. Dash, I'm sorry, but you're a lost cause. I can't keep looking for you, people are wondering what I'm doing. I have to give up."
:fluttershysad: "Twilight, come on, we're going to be late to Dash's funeral..."

~~~~5000 years later~~~~

:twilightoops: "When I was dropping my great-great-great-grandson's toys off at at that orphanage, they had a really realistic Dash balloon in the back of the toy storage closest.... I wonder...."
:twilightsheepish: "Nah."

Doctor who reference in the authors note!!!!! Lolololololololololol!!!!

This story is begging for an epilogue!

Only when I went to bed I noticed the Fridge Horror aspect of this story: The package with Rainbow Dash has been never opened in Fillydelphia!:pinkiecrazy:

this is going to become a thing with you isn't it

Whats up with the inflatable doll stories. they are cool stories but the endings are downers, anyway keep up the great work

I'm going to write some with happy endings. Not everyone has played so much Corruption of Champions that they love bad ends. :trollestia:

I vote for the hair remover sequel. :rainbowlaugh: :twilightoops:

11th doctor fan? The author note was a reference to Matt smith as the Doctor. His favorite phrases were "bow ties are cool" stensons are cool" and " fezzes are cool" (Doctor Who)

I just want to see how it all ends. There doesn't seem to be any confirmation that Dash is stuck, but if she is, that's still kind of amusing (just a little).

Reading through the comments, it appears I wasn't the only one to think of Toy Story 3. But I can still one-up the connection:

Later, after the foals had all gone to bed, Rainballoon Dash found herself on the top shelf of a closet stuffed with a bunch of worn-out toys. Just as she began to go through her options once again (panic, soul-search, distract herself with fantasies of Daring Do coming to rescue her), she heard a rustling to her left. Out of the corner of her eye, Dash could see the outline of a dark shape in the candle-light coming from under the closet door. A moving shape. A shape in the form of a large rat.

Dash decided on panic. Her mind flooded with thoughts of what would happen if the thing decided to chew on her with its sharp, pointy teeth. It got closer, coming farther into her vision; its outline showed a mouth slowly opening...

"How be ye doin' this fine evenin', Ensign Dash?"

Rainballoon was now frozen in a mental, as well as a physical, sense. She couldn't understand. How was the rat speaking? Where did it learn her name? And why in the Great Sea of Galloplee was it talking like a pirate?

With a shuffle, another shape approached from Dash's right. She couldn't even begin to guess what this outline held. It looked vaguely like a really, really tiny pony, the size of an apple slice, maybe. From it came a voice that was very high, befitting its size, and yet smooth; it was the antithesis of the rat's vocals.

"She hasn't moved. Is she scared? I know the kids are rough, but I didn't see anything too bad happen to her. Certainly, she didn't spent much time with the harsher ones."

Scared? Even in this queer situation, that rankled her deep inside. She was not scared; she was never scared. Confused, yes. Worried, yes. But scared?

"I am not scared!" Dash stepped forward, lowering her head in close to the whatever-it-was. Her words echoed through the closet, slightly squeaky, but clear and loud. Her vision was narrowed, focused in on the offending shadow with a targeting ring of red. Her day had been horrible, terrible, tortuous, and she was not going to let that little thing impugn her epic bravery.

The figure retreated a few steps to match Dash's single movement. It threw up its forward legs, but Dash couldn't quite make out what it was doing with them. "Woah, woah, shush! Not so loud, Miss Dash. We don't want to wake the foals."

The Pegasus balloon paused in her rage. The foals? She had forgotten this was an orphanage. But she was still coursing with anger, and it took another voice to snap her out of it.

"Aye, be shush-like; treat that as an order, Ensign." This comment caught Dash in the middle of opening her rubber mouth for a retort to the little guy. Her lips hung in that position for a second, her tongue arched up over her crest of fake teeth. By the time her mind had processed that she had been given an order by the rat, her temper had already begun to ebb. She turned to address the rat, choosing her words carefully and quietly.

"What the buck is an ensign?" After a moment of thought, she added a second question. "And how are you talking? Rats don't talk."

"Rat? A stinking rat? I be a weasel, ye lily-livered..." The weasel petered off, having realized the volume of his cry. In the meantime, the smaller figure had stepped forward again, drawing Dash's attention.

"Of course we talk. We're all toys here."

Rainballoon Dash once again paused as she tried to understand the words that had been spoken to her. We? Toys?

"We? Toys? Since when can toys talk? Last time I checked, they didn't." Now Dash was on the defensive. She was speaking to give her more time to process the situation.

The weasel had calmed down at this point, and he took the next line. "Yer a toy, ain't ye, Ensign? Ye be talkin' this very minute."

Dash turned to look at him, even more confused. "What? No! I can't talk. I can't even move."

"Oy, I've heard o' these things happenin'. Memories been jumbled from the stress. The lot o' us've got our work cut out for us tonight."

...That was a bit longer than I intended. I'd better stop myself. :twilightsheepish:
And now I want to expand it into a full story. If I get permission from you, that is. :scootangel:

Anyway, great story you have here. The transition from one situation to another is neither sudden, nor obvious, but a balance of the two. And the mentions of previous Dash-pranks were both highly amusing and served to ground the story into the wider world and feel of Equestria.

Go for it, balloon Dash is best protagonist for a story. :rainbowdetermined2:

This is messed up dude first the fluttershy blow up doll and now rainbow dash does nopony even think seriously scoots mom just folded dash up like two minutes before twilight showed up they stories where their lost forever just piss me off seriously their depressing, that's not to say they aren't good but the elements would be detectable by twilight since its her magic that gave their elements life.

4827577 somehow, for whatever reason, you write in a way that makes me confusedly disdainful of you, like I'm judging a book by its cover... I'm being honest here, you didn't flip out or anything, more just stated the events and ridiculed the authors choice of story basis. You also assumed that she could be able to detect the elements because their elements magic is connected. I can see why you think that, but are you saying that there was a moment in the show where twilight used the magical connection to find the others? Although concepts such as that have been made in other shows and books, like the chaos emeralds in sonic x, I don't think that it's been made in my little pony. And even if that was possible, to find them using magic, it doesn't mean that she already knows how. And don't say that she does because she's magically gifted. Being gifted doesn't mean knowing what and how to do something from the get go, you have to learn. She might've found rainbow using the same method, or maybe she followed the trail of breadcrumbs. She has eyewitness accounts of the balloons, and because of celestial, virtually all government connections she could need. An orphanage is usually run by the government in some way, not to mention files on moving businesses, external documents on orphnage locations (like licence records) and countless other files. I do not think that twilight would stop until she found her, not to mention search parties and government officials, as rainbow, being an element, is a militaristic asset. She may be too late, rainbow could be lost, popped, whatever, or she could be saved. People die.
Well, anyways, the genre of the story is clearly stated as dark. You do know what DARK means, right? It's, a lot of times, sort of like a mix of sad and horror,generally including things such as torture, rape, murder, depression, suicide and self inflicted wounds, unfair events, unsettling ideas, so on and so on. I'm sorry to be so condescending, but the tab that says dark is basically a blatant clue of a warning to all that the content in this chapter is going to be cold, unfair, and immoral. And, because it warned you, you basically lost all rights to complain about how messed up or unsatisfying the dark turn of events left you, because really, your complaining about the genre of the story, not anything that was universally wrong with the story. Now, I'm not saying that your opinion is wrong, and, technically, you weren't complaining, though there did seem to be elements of it. It's just that I think this might be a needed reminder. Well anyways, see ya.

Reminds me of toy story 3... Well, anyways, you did good capturing the cruel, twisted of emotions of a dark story, not too over the top or in your face, just subtly rearing its hope deterring head as you read. Though, I didn't really see this as a slice of life story. Ah well, I liked it.

4452825 Please do that sequel badly drawn turtle! Although, I, just a single soul, personally think that if you do, please steer a little farther away from toy story. I think I used too many commas, haven't I? (Plz don't answer that)
Yay! Imma use more commas now!

I have many things that I wish I had time to write. This is still on the list, but… well, I'm not good at getting things done. If I ever do get around to it, though, it would stop at borrowing the basic premise of Toy Story: Toys can talk and move, but don't let humans (or ponies, in this case) know about it. I wouldn't really want to take that away, since Toy Story + Rainballoon was the idea in the first place; but I wouldn't be going any further than that (no plot copying or character cameos, for instance).

And you can never use too many commas; or semicolons, for that matter. :pinkiehappy:

Alright kids, playtime is over in an hour. have fun.

This story's so fuckin' ballin'.

It was good, too bad the strange ending

now there just needs to be a chapter 2 and maybe more after

Perhaps you could write about dash getting out , and twilight getting turned into a doll ?:pinkiehappy::scootangel::heart:

Well surely Twilight will be looking and the crusaders will notice Dash is missing and they'll search Equestria over for her, so there's one reprieve.

and also

:rainbowderp: : Stallions are so stupid!

....Rainbow you jerk...

Login or register to comment