1. I'm not a balloon!
I was enjoying a nap in a branch of Twilight’s Library when I heard a window nearby swing open.
“Rainbow? Are you out there?” Twilight called.
My first thought was to ignore her until she left so I could finish my nap.
“Dash, it’ll only take a second!”
“What is it?”
“I need to test a spell Celestia sent me, and report back on the effects.”
I pondered it for a moment, then recalled that she had a fancy frou-frou cloud bed. It would be perfect to take a nap on. “Alright, Twi, but I get to take a nap in your bed afterwards.”
“Fine.” I could almost see her rolling her eyes. “Come on in, Dash.”
The branch shook as I got to my hooves, raining leaves through her open window. I jumped down and flew inside into the wide atrium of the library. Spike was in the kitchen and I could smell him cooking from here. The library appeared to be otherwise empty.
“Alright, so what spell did she send you that requires a pony as awesome as me to make work?”
“Oh, according to the instructions it’s a simple transmutation conjuration, with second level illusion spells and a—”
“Whoa!” I stuck a hoof up to her mouth to stop her. “Hey, use your normal-pony words.”
She blushed slightly, causing me to smirk at how cute she looked when flustered. “Well, it’s a, uh. . . shapeshifting spell? I think. . . I need to try it out, then the counter-spell, then report back.”
Glancing up at the clock revealed it was nearly noon. That would only give me two hours to nap before I had to fly over to Sweet Apple acres to get some fresh apple pie, and begin my two o’clock nap over the south orchard.
“Okay, I’m on a schedule here, so fire away!”
“Thanks!” Twilight gave me a quick hug, then backed up.
Her horn started to glow and a familiar sensation of her magic crept over my skin, causing it to tingle. I felt my skin begin to go numb and feel almost smooth. Twilight must have been levitating me in the air, because I suddenly felt weightless.
Dizziness washed over me as I began to feel hollow and puffy inside. It wasn’t that comfortable, so I tried to tell Twilight to stop the spell. Instead, I felt my lips and nose fuse together, fixing me in a smile.
She had her eyes closed, in full concentration on the spell, and couldn’t see me as I pleaded for help. My eyes darted around the room, looking for someway out.
I felt the plastic rolling over my hind quarters, turning my tail into plastic with a faint squeak. My ears and eyes followed shortly, freezing my gaze forward. Small lines started to trace themselves all over my body, dividing it into halves then quarters. It almost felt like seams. Then something burst out of my tail, well out of sight.
Twilight opened her eyes and gasped. “Oh my! This must be one of the most advanced spells Celestia ever sent me. I better get more parchment!”
She ran out of the room, oblivious to the horror I was experiencing. Behind where Twilight stood was a mirror and I could see myself now.
My entire body was shining like plastic. Both eyes looked painted on, and my legs were puffy as if I was out of shape. The beautiful wings on my sides looked like a foal’s plaything, and I couldn’t move an inch.
Twilight? Hey, come on! This spell sucks!
I felt myself floating slightly as the library door opened. The gentle wind had picked me up several inches and I floated across the floor. It felt like the weightlessness I experienced when doing certain stunts, as if I could float off into the atmosphere.
“Hey, that’ll make the perfect gift for Scootaloo. Who do ya think left it here?” Apple Bloom said.
“I don’t know, should we ask Twilight if we can take it?” Sweetie responded
“Ah always say it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. Besides, Twilight’s a stick in the mud.”
Sweetie giggled, and I felt Apple Bloom bite my tail. The plastic gave way easily until she was pinching it between her teeth. With a tug, I felt myself pulled out of the library.
Buck! Stop it, Apple Bloom! Put me back! TWILIGHT!! THIS ISN’T FUN ANYMORE!!
“This’ll be the best present ever. She’ll be sure to remember us,” Sweetie said.
Wait, I’m forgetting something. . . Scootaloo is. . . gah, I don’t have time for this. HELP!
I felt a gust of wind as Apple Bloom opened her mouth to speak. It lifted me up into the air, spinning me around. Back in the library I could just make out a confused Twilight looking around. At least she would come looking for me and fix this mess.
“Quick, get her!” Apple Bloom shouted.
Down below the two crusaders chased after me, but I was nearly twenty hooves off the ground. There was no way they’d reach me unless they sprouted wings. A few other ponies were watching me float through the air, seemingly oblivious that I was anything other than an expensive helium balloon.
Wait, there’s Pinkie! Pinkie! Help me! Come on, you’ve gotta have a Pinkie Sense for ‘my friend has been turned into a balloon and blown away!’
Her tail twitched briefly before she ducked. I floated past her head, followed by the crusaders nearly tackling her. The breeze picked up, sweeping me closer to the ground but moving much faster. I began to tumble head over hooves as I rolled through the sky.
Something hit my side, sending me careening into the ground. Seconds later a weight landed on my side, squishing me into the coarse dirt.
“Got it!” Sweetie cheered.
“Great!”
I felt something get tied around the base of my tail and pulled taut. Seconds later I was being dragged through the air, wobbling behind the crusaders.
“It’s a bit dirty but we can clean that up,” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, at least it didn’t pop.”
Oh Celestia, what happens if I pop? Come on, Twilight! She better be tracking me down right now or so help me I’ll prank her for a year straight!
As I spun around, confused and frustrated, I finally recognized where I was. We were in front of Scootaloo’s house and Sweetie was knocking on the door. Moments later a mare opened it up.
“Hi, girls. Did you come to visit Scootaloo?” she asked.
“Yep! We found this awesome gift at the last minute to give her.” Apple Bloom took the string from Sweetie and passed it to the mare.
“Oh, thank you. I know she’ll love it.”
“Can she play tonight?” Sweetie asked.
“Sorry, girls, she’s getting ready for bed. We have to be up early tomorrow.”
Early, why early? It’s a Saturday. Wait, when did the sun start to set? How long have I been stuck like this?
Moments later I found myself settling towards the ground as there was no wind to blast me off into the sky. My joints squeaked as I was carried upstairs towards Scootaloo. I felt so squishy when my sides got squeezed, and still wasn’t used to being so flexible yet entirely unable to move.
“Scootaloo, darling, your friends brought you a gift.”
I floated into the room and saw Scootaloo looking sadder than I can ever recall. When she saw me, the most awesome balloon in Equestria, she cheered right up.
“Wow! Now it’ll be like Dash is still around!”
Okay this is bugging me. Damn it, I knew I should have paid more attention at our last flight lesson. She said something about a vacation? Yeah, that explains the suitcase. She’ll have to leave me here and Twilight will find me. Scratch that, she better find me right now! I don’t want to spend a night like this!
My mind had wandered again, drowning out the last bits of Scootaloo’s conversation with her mother. The next thing I felt was my side being pinned against a mattress and pillow. Scootaloo pulled the blanket up over us, then spread her legs and wings around me.
“I’m so glad to have a great friend like you, Dash,” Scootaloo cooed. She hugged me tightly, sending a shivering warmth through my body. It felt so comforting and safe.
Aww, you’re great too, Squirt. I suppose you ought to enjoy this until it gets fixed.
Scootaloo yawned widely and closed her eyes. All that I could see was her face and the happy grin adorning it as she fell asleep.
I wondered if I could sleep, or if I’d be awake all night. My body didn’t feel tired, and at best it seemed my mind could wander. Scootaloo tossed and turned a few times. She would bump me away, then reach out and squeeze me back against her. It was really cute, even if it was a bit too touchy-feely for me. I sort of envied any toy of Scootaloo’s that would get to be this close to her all the time.
When sunlight began to pour through the window I was caught off guard.
Morning already? Where the hay are you, Twilight? This was all your idea!
“Scootaloo, honey, wake up.” A fuschia mare walked into the room. “The moving carriage is here.”
“But moooooooom,” Scootaloo whined. “I’m tiiiiiiired.”
Moving carriage? Buck! She was moving to Fillydelphia!
Scootaloo’s mom grabbed me and slid me out of bed. Shortly after, Scootaloo woke up and stretched.
“Now don’t worry, I’ll get your new toy folded up for the trip.”
What does she—oh Celestia! I’m melting!
I felt the air start to woosh out of my tail, making my entire body collapse in on itself. Hooves glided across the plastic skin, pressing out the air and wrinkles. I felt the urge to sneeze as she flattened my face, powerless to stop her.
She continued handling me like some common toy, pushing out all the air. The most horrifying part was when she started to fold me, burying my face in my stomach, then folding my legs over the top of me. Soon, I felt like folded up beach blanket. I was just one big wad of plastic, empty, and ready to be packed away.
The only light reaching me was through my left eye, which could catch a glimpse through a crease of the outside world.
“Scootaloo, were we putting the stuff you’re keeping in the right or left box?” she asked.
“Uh, right.” Scootaloo hopped down and trot towards the stairs. “I’m gonna go get donuts, dad didn’t forget, did he?”
“No, there’s plenty to eat before the move. Hurry up, darling!”
Oh this is bad, they can’t do this to me! I’m the Element of Loyalty! Don’t you dare stick me in that box!
I was squished against something fluffy and something made of hard plastic. Then a cardboard flap was folded down, flattening me further. I heard the loud tearing sound of tape, and pressure as the box was sealed shut. Seconds later, I heard another box being closed.
It was pitch black now, and I was sandwiched into a box. Nopony knew I was here, and soon I’d be in Fillydelphia.
Great, can this get any worse?
The box shifted and I felt a pony lift me up and start to move me downstairs. I landed on my side, feeling the cursed hard-plastic toy digging into my side. I must have been near the front door, because the pony knocking at it sounded inches away.
A stallion cleared his throat as he opened the door. “Oh, good morning, Ms. Sparkle.”
TWILIGHT! Thank Celestia!
“Good morning, Mr. Cloud. Pinkie saw the crusaders chasing a Rainbow Dash balloon around. Have you or Scootaloo seen that balloon?”
“Hmm. . .”
Come on you dolt! I’m right here!
“No, can’t say I have. I’ve been so busy with the move, we all have. Scootaloo had to go to bed early so I doubt she was with the crusaders.”
What?! How can you not notice your daughter having a giant Rainbow Dash balloon! Stallions are so stupid!
“Okay, thanks Mr. Cloud.”
The door shut, and with it my hopes of being rescued.
I’m gonna buck the teeth out of his head for this. Now I’m gonna be stuck here Celestia-knows how long!
“What was that, honey?” a mare asked.
“Oh, nothing. Twilight was looking for some balloon. Apparently the crusaders were up to more antics.”
“I sure hope Scootaloo will be okay without them.”
My lucky couldn’t get any worse. I was stuck in this claustrophobic nightmare, powerless as I heard stallions working and loading the boxes onto a carriage. It was hard enough to keep track of time when I had my eyesight, but now it was near impossible. Between the darkness, and being set in the moving truck upside down, I could barely keep my wits about me.
Hmm, perhaps Twilight can turn Scootaloo’s dad into a balloon? I could set him free into the upper atmosphere, teach him some respect. . . At least Pinkie saw me, the crusaders will have to fess up that they took the balloon from the library. Then, Twilight will know Scootaloo has me! But, she knows Scootaloo is moving to Fillydelphia, right?
A loud thud brought me back to my senses. There were several voices, almost childlike, all around me. I heard the tape ripping as the box was opened up. Light poured inside, and I was able to catch a glimpse of a purple hoof reaching into the box.
“Now children, remember to share your new toys.”
Wait, that’s not Scootaloo or her parents. Luna’s nipples, what is going on here?!
“Cool, is that a balloon?”
“Yeah, can you fill it up?”
“Calm down, children. Give me a moment.”
I can’t even tell who is talking. Oh mare, Celestia. . . if you get me out of this, I swear I’ll never steal a piece of cake from your kitchen again! And I’ll never call Twilight an egghead, and I won’t switch Pinkie’s shampoo with pancake-syrup. I’ll never make fun of Applejack’s accent, and I swear I won’t sneak into Big Mac’s room at night anymore. I’ll buy Fluttershy that bird feeder she wanted but couldn’t afford, and I’ll even let Rarity fit me for dresses. Please, Celestia, help me!
I felt pressure as my body began to expand, filling with air. The feeling of lips around the valve was the only sensation I felt aside from the expansion. After a few moments, the plastic began to crackle and pop open. Soon after I had taken my normal shape: a balloon Rainbow Dash.
Finally I got a good look around. The room had blue paint peeling off the walls. There were airplanes and alphabet letters adorning the wall, and I quickly recognized it for what it was: a child’s playroom.
That was when I saw nearly a dozen fillies and colts sitting around the room, playing with various toys. There were pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies. Some looked malnourished, some were nearly teenagers, and others barely older than foals.
It wasn’t until the mare set me down and I saw the writing on the side of the box that I realized how screwed I was.
Orphanage.
Scootaloo’s mom must have put me in the wrong box! I wasn’t even with Scootaloo anymore!
“Wow, that’s an Element of Harmony! I get to be her first!” a filly squeaked.
“Nuh-uh! You’re a unicorn! Everypony knows Rainbow is a pegasus!”
Something tackled me from the side, sitting on top of it’s prize. “Dibs!”
“Children, play nice, you wouldn’t want to pop such a lovely toy.”
Toy. Is that what I am now? Stuck like this for the rest of my life?
No. Twilight will find me. I don’t know how, or when, but she will. There’s only one orphanage in Ponyville. . . but what if this is an orphanage in Fillydelphia?
Another filly jumped on me, before the mare pulled them off and batted me into the air. “Alright kids, playtime is over in an hour. have fun.”
As I drifted back down I saw several fillies waiting to catch me and play with me.
What if they pop me? Celestia, forget what I said earlier. If I get out of this, I’m spiking Twilight’s shampoo with hair remover.
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I wake up to this.
THIS.
Dammit, Kaidan, I didn't mean to literally not stop!
Now, where'd I put that wing tape?
I'd like to see one of the balloon ponies pop! Maybe a spell that causes ponies to suddenly inflate and burst into little tiny plastic shreds? would Pinkie burst with streamers? THE POSSIBILITIES!
That's probably not what Dash meant when she told Twilight to blow her...
That slice of life tag is very questionable.
3704752
Well, for certain values of "slice of life"... Some slices of life can be weirder than the others.
Needs a "with," I think?
Another amusing update. Now with less clop!
Balloon ponies! Balloon ponies everywhere!
Also, congratulations, Twilight! You've put one of your friends in danger again!
3705063
It's what she is best at.
3704707
Your wish is my command. "Popping Pinkie Pie" coming right up!*
*actual existence of this story may vary.
3704708
Celestia must have heard how badly Dash wanted Twilight to blow her.
3704752
Just an ordinary day for a pony turned balloon.
3705190
Well, I blame you, because I just wrote a darkfic exploring the topic.
Warning! The ending is nothing near happy. Actually, you might cry. I blame you.
I haven't posted it yet, but you'll see it in due time...
3705190
Too bad, the only thing that was blown was Dash's ego...
Why does this remind me of Toy Story 3?
Nevermind that. This story is very... umm. Strange. Good, but strange.
3705190
Here Ya go! It's here for reading glory!
years later Rainbow is found by Twilight and when she is turned back to normal she is completely insane and constantly muttering something about revenge and Twilight turning ponies into toys
Well. That was a good, if slightly horrifying read. Time well-spent reading, though.
...but did anypony else think that maybe RD was entirely too calm, even through her dread-laced realizations of her situation getting incrementally, then exponentially worse? She certainly wasn't enjoying things by any stretch of the imagination, but were I in her horseshoes, I think within ten minutes my stream of thought would have been "LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT" or words to that effect.
3705683
Here's my take on the ending, I'll even use do it dialog style with pony emoticons to show reactions :D
(and and Photo Finish is going to the icon for the orphanage director because we're short on icons.)
~~~~1 month later~~~~
*knock knock on the front door*
~~~~3 months later~~~~
~~~~5000 years later~~~~
Doctor who reference in the authors note!!!!! Lolololololololololol!!!!
Oh lord...
This story is begging for an epilogue!
Only when I went to bed I noticed the Fridge Horror aspect of this story: The package with Rainbow Dash has been never opened in Fillydelphia!
this is going to become a thing with you isn't it
Whats up with the inflatable doll stories. they are cool stories but the endings are downers, anyway keep up the great work
3709893
I'm going to write some with happy endings. Not everyone has played so much Corruption of Champions that they love bad ends.
I vote for the hair remover sequel.
11th doctor fan? The author note was a reference to Matt smith as the Doctor. His favorite phrases were "bow ties are cool" stensons are cool" and " fezzes are cool" (Doctor Who)
I just want to see how it all ends. There doesn't seem to be any confirmation that Dash is stuck, but if she is, that's still kind of amusing (just a little).
Reading through the comments, it appears I wasn't the only one to think of Toy Story 3. But I can still one-up the connection:
...That was a bit longer than I intended. I'd better stop myself.
And now I want to expand it into a full story. If I get permission from you, that is.
Anyway, great story you have here. The transition from one situation to another is neither sudden, nor obvious, but a balance of the two. And the mentions of previous Dash-pranks were both highly amusing and served to ground the story into the wider world and feel of Equestria.
4452825
Go for it, balloon Dash is best protagonist for a story.
This is messed up dude first the fluttershy blow up doll and now rainbow dash does nopony even think seriously scoots mom just folded dash up like two minutes before twilight showed up they stories where their lost forever just piss me off seriously their depressing, that's not to say they aren't good but the elements would be detectable by twilight since its her magic that gave their elements life.
4827577 somehow, for whatever reason, you write in a way that makes me confusedly disdainful of you, like I'm judging a book by its cover... I'm being honest here, you didn't flip out or anything, more just stated the events and ridiculed the authors choice of story basis. You also assumed that she could be able to detect the elements because their elements magic is connected. I can see why you think that, but are you saying that there was a moment in the show where twilight used the magical connection to find the others? Although concepts such as that have been made in other shows and books, like the chaos emeralds in sonic x, I don't think that it's been made in my little pony. And even if that was possible, to find them using magic, it doesn't mean that she already knows how. And don't say that she does because she's magically gifted. Being gifted doesn't mean knowing what and how to do something from the get go, you have to learn. She might've found rainbow using the same method, or maybe she followed the trail of breadcrumbs. She has eyewitness accounts of the balloons, and because of celestial, virtually all government connections she could need. An orphanage is usually run by the government in some way, not to mention files on moving businesses, external documents on orphnage locations (like licence records) and countless other files. I do not think that twilight would stop until she found her, not to mention search parties and government officials, as rainbow, being an element, is a militaristic asset. She may be too late, rainbow could be lost, popped, whatever, or she could be saved. People die.
Well, anyways, the genre of the story is clearly stated as dark. You do know what DARK means, right? It's, a lot of times, sort of like a mix of sad and horror,generally including things such as torture, rape, murder, depression, suicide and self inflicted wounds, unfair events, unsettling ideas, so on and so on. I'm sorry to be so condescending, but the tab that says dark is basically a blatant clue of a warning to all that the content in this chapter is going to be cold, unfair, and immoral. And, because it warned you, you basically lost all rights to complain about how messed up or unsatisfying the dark turn of events left you, because really, your complaining about the genre of the story, not anything that was universally wrong with the story. Now, I'm not saying that your opinion is wrong, and, technically, you weren't complaining, though there did seem to be elements of it. It's just that I think this might be a needed reminder. Well anyways, see ya.
Reminds me of toy story 3... Well, anyways, you did good capturing the cruel, twisted of emotions of a dark story, not too over the top or in your face, just subtly rearing its hope deterring head as you read. Though, I didn't really see this as a slice of life story. Ah well, I liked it.
4452825 Please do that sequel badly drawn turtle! Although, I, just a single soul, personally think that if you do, please steer a little farther away from toy story. I think I used too many commas, haven't I? (Plz don't answer that)
Yay! Imma use more commas now!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
6159251
I have many things that I wish I had time to write. This is still on the list, but… well, I'm not good at getting things done. If I ever do get around to it, though, it would stop at borrowing the basic premise of Toy Story: Toys can talk and move, but don't let humans (or ponies, in this case) know about it. I wouldn't really want to take that away, since Toy Story + Rainballoon was the idea in the first place; but I wouldn't be going any further than that (no plot copying or character cameos, for instance).
And you can never use too many commas; or semicolons, for that matter.
Alright kids, playtime is over in an hour. have fun.
This story's so fuckin' ballin'.
It was good, too bad the strange ending
now there just needs to be a chapter 2 and maybe more after
Perhaps you could write about dash getting out , and twilight getting turned into a doll ?
Well surely Twilight will be looking and the crusaders will notice Dash is missing and they'll search Equestria over for her, so there's one reprieve.
and also
....Rainbow you jerk...
No wait! What happens next? You can't end the story like that! Does she get out? What becomes of Dash? This feels like a bad ending! Nooooooooo!!!!!