- Member Since 16th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 2nd, 2014
SwiperTheFox
This sneaky fox, always clad in a blue mask and gloves, has long been a bane of unwary travelers with loose accouterments.
SwiperTheFox
Joined 16th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
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Hooray Beer!
Ponyville has been introduced to the nectar of the gods.
Actually seems a little hilarious, given the serious situation.
207001 Hey, you were the first guy to comment on Last Ditch!
and I remember Swiper from his comments on Serenade!
I like how the main character is someone seemingly insignificant, a guy from the street who got plastered and made a bad decision.
Five stared and tracked.
Now time to read....
Five stared and tr-...never mind then.
This is what I like to call a one in a billion story, there is no possible way to replicate this like the tried and true HiE or Twilight getting wings. No, this is the story you point to when someone asks 'know any good stories with Mayor mare being awesome?'
On a side note: Jebus fuck she is a lightweight.
I think the clop will begin in chapter four, which I'll call '"One Eyed Trouser Snake Rumba" after another Humble Pie song.
Chapter three will be a bit more expository stuff revealing what happened at the drinking contest as well as what happened to the Mayor's assisstent. They'll also be suggestive as hell stuff going on with the Mayor and Brown.
It's not really my style to jump right to clop. I like a lot of buildup, and then there's some release.
216503
I'll go through and try to clean up the dialogue a little bit. Thanks for the advice.
216503
I'm far from an Applejack fan (I really don't like her character), but I thought that there weren't many characters that would plausibly do a drinking contest (Big Mac, her, Berry Punch... I think that's it). And the other two I didn't want to write in that role, because it felt... weird. I want Brown's rival to be a potential long-term friend.
Anyways, I cleaned up the dialogue. Please let me know what you think. You give great advice.
216469
I tweaked this chapter a little bit to fix what you pointed out. Thanks.
219117
I believe there's going to be two chapters soon for sure. One is more set-up with fun romantic tension, and the last one is clop. At that point I'm kind of done with the story, but I'd love more. I just adore this Brown character.
And thanks very much for your reviews!
...giggity
Death by snoo snoo imminent.
And what a way to go.
images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/24300000/Epic-Troll-Exercise-random-24307867-500-374.gif
I'm imagining this as you write, leaving us with all of these cliffhangers >_>
amirite?
219213 I agree with your opinions on Applejack completely, and your substitute lines are very well written, I'll be taking your advice as I write her dialouge for MY fanfic.
(I also hate the whole 'ah' thing, it just seems unecessary...)
221402
MISS MAYOR IS HAWT
*clop clop clop*
The story is still rated teen. Might want to change that.
>Teen
AHAHAHAHA nope. Not anymore!
Also, lol at sex=love. Other than that though, me gusta. We don't get enough of the Mayor.
Not teen anymore!
222571
But they are in love! The final (albeit short) chapter will show a little of the lovey-dovey-ness.
Awwww.
Lightweights are so cute when they think they can drink.
Wow... That ended rather abruptly :/ "The End" and "Complete" tag seem to come out of nowhere tbh.
224223
Yes!
So he drugged/made her drunk and now hes running?
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/508/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png
225771
He didn't think she was such a lightweight
I hope it's clear enough that he's not leaving her for good, of course, given his whole "I want to be with you for years talk", maybe I'll tweak the wording a bit...
227492
Lol, maybe add a scene where hes taking her home muttering about watering down the brew for her secretly.
243419
Glad you loved it!
"It's not right," Twilight replied. She got up, and then she placed a small metal something onto the table. "A pony has their own right to follow their own conscious and do what they want."
I think that should be conscience, yes?
Great story btw
313246 That's right. Oh, and thanks for reading.
Checked all the dictionaries.
Under no language does "Imporeium" mean anything even remotely book related. So I'm calling typo on this line: "Half price novels at Frenchy's Book Imporeium!"
337321 Corrected to 'Emporium'. Thanks.
One of the more amazing fics on the site if I bally say so myself
397267
Thanks!
i loled at *thunk* aw she is such a lightweight i bet he is thinking this "note to self she STICKS to wine"
401476Sequel?
905640
Maybe sometime... I'll think about it...
...I agree with ravennaras....giggity
224703 224223 Completely agree with both of you guys.
Never knew that was a OC ship fic with the Mayor. Nice job.
I busted out laughing at the first few paragraphs. Brown made me choke!
Great story indeed, characters feel so real!!!