• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen May 25th, 2018

A cubed


currently suffering from the curse of improving just enough to hate what i just wrote, then starting over again

T

Main Plot: Applejack tells her family and friends that she is gay.
In her youth, Granny Smith was part of the movement giving marriage rights to interracial couples. Could you believe that, just forty years ago, many ponies considered it taboo for a relationship to exist between a unicorn and pegasus? Nowadays it's a different story: interspecies marriages happen all the time, and nopony bats an eyelash... as long as they are different genders. It seems that since then, the prejudice has shifted direction towards gay and lesbian couples now.
Lyra and Bon Bon are victims of this prejudice firsthoof, but regardless, they still got married a couple of weeks ago. Upon their return, Mayor Mare- an avid supporter of gay rights- finds herself swarmed with grievance letters from the handful of homophobic ponies living in Ponyville, which she addresses at a town meeting. The meeting... doesn't go so well. As differing viewpoints clash, many are caught in the crossfire, and buried secrets are revealed.
Friendships and loyalties will be tested, but others strengthened.

Romance tag for Applejack, LyraBon, and DerpTurner (aka DerpyDoc)

Rated Teen for allusions to sex. I will eventually write clop scenes (mostly LyraBon), but not right now.

Cover art by WhiteDiamondsLTD on Deviantart

Chapters (3)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 40 )

This was really good, I can't wait for more! Fave! :pinkiesmile:

i49.tinypic.com/21msves.png

Lyra and Bon Bon are too manestream. Berry goes both ways. cheap date, but she can be romantic. Boy were they sucking away at that drink...
Added to read later, 3am and don't wanna miss potentially good stories before I crash ><

Y1

Well, this is interesting. Faved and liked. On another note, what's the deal with the constant switching between ' and ". Pick one and, and stick to it.

Very good intro, lots of juicy subplots to explore. You might be treading a bit close to a “mature” rating even as stands, though; if I were in your horseshoes, I’d tone down those parts a bit.

After all,

/x/ Sex happened. /x/

you are truly a master of the fine art of subtlety.

A few notes:

In spite of how persistently people like to misspell it, “Apple Bloom” is spelled “Apple Bloom”.
i.imgur.com/NRBE0T6.png

Somebody else mentioned this, but what’s with the changing quotes? I understand that it’s supposed to be a quick way to grasp which character is speaking, but it doesn’t help when you have three or more, and it’s almost never confusing with two or less anyway. Just hindered reading for me. Relatedly, it would be nice if the dashes were dashes instead of hyphens.

And finally, the nitpickiest of all… Would the Mayor really be so bad at formality as to use the second person subordinate “thee” but mix it with the second person formal/modern “your” in the same sentence? Seems like a bit of a snafu to use “your” when she presumably meant “thy”.

2134176
Why thank you. While you're waiting, check out my (recent) other stories, and some of my blogs detailing future plans for stories, if you're interested.

2134189
LyraBon is mainstream, but so is saying 'manestream' :trollestia:.
Thank you for considering reading in the future.

2134256
Sorry, that's a bad habit I picked up from my days of fanfiction back in 2008... I'll correct it ASAP.

2135223
Well, nothing explicit happened: if you knew what I was talking about, I figure you're mature enough to deal with that, and if you were confused as to what I was alluding to, then you're not old enough to understand it. That's my philosophy, but I see now that it isn't everyone else's. If there's one more comment about it, then I'll change it (and try to do the suggestive scenes sooner). It's not because I don't value your input, it's just because only one person said something out of all the people who viewed.
Subtlety yay!
I write Applebloom because it's a habit. I'll try to use the find-and-replace tool to fix it if it bothers you.
I'll fix the quotes.
Could you point out where I made the dash/hyphen mistakes please? I really don't know what the difference is, to be honest.
Ah, you noticed that. That 'thee' there? It slipped out accidentally. She was raised in a household that spoke like that, but she left that life behind. Why? Well... if you really want to know because it bothers you, PM me so I can tell you without spoiling to anybody else.

2135370

Could you point out where I made the dash/hyphen mistakes please? I really don't know what the difference is, to be honest.

Well, the biggest problem is that there is no dash on a normal keyboard, which is why most fanfic authors are happy to go without. It lends an air of professionalism to use them, however.

As per the difference, hyphens are used to conjoin words, such as “percentage-wise”, “red-maned”, “Wrap-Up”, etc. Dashes are used for interruptions in two major ways: cutting off sentences and parentheticals. Dashes are also used for plenty of minor things, whereas off the top of my head there are no other uses for hyphens in normal English prose.

Examples of dashes for cutting off:

‘But Applejack–’

“No.”

‘You can’t just say–’

“No.”

‘You aren’t even listen–’

Example of dashes for parentheticals:

Nothing really changed among the friends of the new couple, but those that did not approve of gay marriage certainly did get—for lack of a better term—saddlesore.

(Dashes get sort of complicated due to the fact that there are two widths of dashes: en dashes (–) and em dashes (—). People like to argue to no end about which is correct for what situation. The benefit of this arguing is that so long as you’re consistent, no matter which you use, someone agrees with you :pinkiehappy:)

2135583 So it's just a matter of technicality?

2136328
Not sure what you mean? I mean, yeah, all of language and grammar is that way; we all sort of agree or disagree on some conventions and run with it, then a century later somebody decides they don't like those conventions so they choose some other ones. I'm only making a suggestion here. It doesn't detract heavily from the story, it would just look more polished with dashes where dashes belong. :rainbowdetermined2:

2136346 Well, I don't care about polish. Dashes and hyphens, I don't understand or care for the difference. They're both horizontal lines, used for several purposes, and I don't think it detracts too much if one is 2 millimeters longer than it should be. In fact, in monospace font, I'm pretty sure they both show up the same, don't they?

2137822
Depends on the font, but yeah.

Just in case I was sounding harsh, I’ll point out that the only reason I would mention dashes is that the prose, characterization, story and depth were already perfect :twilightsheepish:

Just cause one ain't dabbled in sexual endeavors before does not mean one does not have the required knowledge or creativity to write a scene exquisitely crafting a scene of beauty and heat between two creatures, also you can do research and study other peoples work:scootangel:. Also good story, it has promise :twilightsmile:

2137841
It wasn't a matter of you being harsh. I know that people frown upon dash-versus-hyphenation in the higher-ups of writing, but I personally don't really care. If there's a dash or hyphen, no matter the length, I know what it's supposed to do. I mean, I WOULD fix it if there was a hyphen key as well as a dash on a keyboard, but there isn't... stupid Microsoft...
:pinkiegasp: Perfect he says! :yay:

2139246
Well, I'll be working on them soon. I know everything that happens during intercourse, and I've read other people's work with sex scenes in them, so I'm sure I'm decently equipped to be able to write one.
And thank you!

hmmm this is defiantly good so far! i hope to read more of this soon :pinkiecrazy: :heart:

/x/ Sex happened. /x/

/x/ Sex Happened. Again. /x/

I faved because of that. :twilightsmile:

Pretty nice story you got here, any idea when the next chapter will be out?

Have a thumbs up while I wait.

2192901
I know exactly how I want chapter is set up from about the 10% mark up until the end, but I just can't seem to START the chapter.
To make matters worse I came up with 6 other ideas for stories, including an Of Mice And Men crossover, which are distracting me, as two of them require reading On A Cross And Arrow and the Elfen Lied manga. But do know that I am close to being done.
THanks for the thumbs-up! :twilightsmile:

2199506

I know that feeling all too well. :raritydespair:

That. Was. GLORIOUS!!! You Sir, deserve some pie. :ajsmug::eeyup:

Great chapter! I think I would rather have scenes with the Cake twins and Dinky instead of the scene breaks. They are funny, especially the one with Luna and Celestia, but they really interrupt the flow of the story.

Well...I'm definitely liking this story. Just one thing I really wanna say.

If I was there when that stuck up jackass ripped on poor Derpy, Not only would he get the beating from Lucky, but he woulda got his flank booted outta there by me, likely the only one I know that simply doesn't GIVE a shit about the topic at hand. And you know? It'd probably be a good thing if there was a handful of ponies at the meeting that were only there BECAUSE they didn't give a shit. After all, Neutral opinions are priceless, you know?

Thy princess loves this story. Thou hast written so well thou hast been favorited in the canterlot library. Keep writing!

Wait, Whoever was writing that bit at the end married her sibling?

2460073
Thank you for writing Early Modern English correctly. I am astonished at how many people write for Luna without investigating such things.

Damn, now I want a slice of Zap Apple pie now.

You're an awesome story writer, and I don't have anything else to give, so have a ham.
eofdreams.com/data_images/dreams/ham/ham-02.jpg

I've got to say, you're handling Applejack's revelation really, really well. You're definitely being more careful and natural with the 'lesbian thing' (to quote Applejack) than almost any story I've read on this site, so congrats on that. I'm not usually one for the idea of an intolerant Equestria, but you're doing such a great job with both sides of this argument that I can't really have a huge problem with this. I can't really have any problem with this, because I freakin' love it. Thanks for being a respectful and well-informed person on this somewhat sensitive subject, and thanks for not doing the terrible, horrible trope of an intolerant Apple family. The way you've written Twilight is likewise fantastic, and I totally get the feeling that she'd come out to AJ pretty much like that, to help support her friend in a time of need. Yeah, anyways... Thanks again for some awesome stuff, and I can't hardly wait for more.

2459922 Pie? PIE!? :twilightoops:

2459927 I figured someone would say that. Okay, I'll cut back on those and put in more visual sugar.

2459955 There were a lot of ponies in the 'yea-neigh dry patch' that didn't really care: that's why they didn't say anything, they just threw out an opinion either ay to get it over with. I address that later on, but thank you for pointing that out!

2460073 OMG MY WAIFU DESU DESU~ but seriously though, thank you!

2460500 Yes, that was Mayor Mare writing. That's what I meant to say with the 'Best Regards' part. And yes, there was a Yuki/Kaname Kuran thing going on there. I'm going with a dark background for the character, because who doesn't love dark themes?

2460759 Good luck with that. :applejackconfused:

2460787 Thank you! Yeah, at first this concept started as Rainbow coming out and Applejack being the main opposition, but then it evolved into Granny Smith being the one who didn't care and Applejack's beliefs came from the Oranges, but then I started seeing those tropes EVERYWHERE, so I thought 'Hey, why don't I switch it around?', so I developed other subplots and now you have this.
Yeah, I hate when most Equestrians are intolerant dipwads, but I thought that maybe if the society as a whole isn't flawed, and just a few people are, flawed, that would make more sense to myself logically, so it would make sense to others. And my parents are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum: one's christian, one's wiccan; one's liberal, the other's conservative; one supports gays, the other opposes. So, I know a bit about both sides.
Thank you for that, and I promise I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner than this one did.

2461163 I don't mean to rush you at all... take your time and everything will be awesome.... just being your usual rabid comments-fan over here...

THESE COLORS TASTE LIKE MUSIC!!!!!!!!! :pinkiehappy: need more! im loving this!

2461163 Cool. Thanks. Your parents sound a lot like mine by the way :rainbowlaugh: The only difference is that my mom's atheist instead of wiccan.

Let me be completely honest when I say that this fic is absolutely outstanding and will most likely take the place for my new favorite. I'm not even mad about how long it took to update because this chapter was bucking fantastic! :pinkiehappy:
I enjoyed the pop culture references and feel like it makes the story really genuine. The way you portray Ponyville residents including the mane 6 really makes it seem like a society you would see in the real world, and not the hate-less lovey-dovey Ponyville you see in the show, and it brings a whole new level to this imaginary world.

Amazing so far and I'm eagerly awaiting new chapters! :twilightsmile:

There's no such thing as a "rational gay opposer" as there's no such thing as a "rational anti gay argument" :moustache:

Anyways, I'm very happy to see this being continued although I must say that I was hoping for a more drawn out revelation on AJ's part.

Now give me sex scenes! :trollestia:

Edit: It most likely has nothing to do with the story but I cheer for the Griffon Uprising!

I'm actually glad that you aren't adapting Alicorn Twilight to this story. As for the story over all I like what you've written so far. Now onward to the next chapter :pinkiehappy:.

I can't wait for the next chapter. Are you going to ship Apple Jack or Twilight with anypony? I kind of want to see them in a relationship now that AJ's out of the stable.

2521235
Okay then... how about a "Logical Gay Opposer"? As Lloyd Irving from Tales of Symphonia (or Rainbow Dash from my Tales of Symponya) would say, 'just because the logic is sound, doesn't mean it's right'.
You want drawn out revelations? Don't worry, they're coming.
You want your sex scenes? Don't worry, they're coming. No pun intended. :trollestia:
You want your griffin uprising? It'll take a while, but don't worry, it'll come eventually.

2533174
The longer it's been since the episode, the more I grow to dislike the idea, because all the Princess Twilight fanfics involve her drifting further and further from and/or outliving her friends, when that's obviously not going to be the case by the time the next two episodes come out. I'm sure I'll warm up to it by S4, but not right now.
And as for the AJ and Twi ships... well, I'm thinking about it really hard right now. Yes, I plan on shipping, but way way in the future.

Oh NOES!!! please tell me this story is not dead :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: +
I loved each and every word of it... is there any chance you'll ever write a third chapter? please?:fluttershyouch::fluttershbad:

Haha... little did 16 year old me know that I'd grow up to be gay as buck. Don't worry, anyone who still cares about this story after 5 years, I fully plan to continue remake this story on my new page.

I'd given up hope but yet IT LIVES!

Wow, I think I'll proclaim 2018 Year-of-the-Revived-Favorites-List-Fics. Three of em in a week.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!