I think the clop will begin in chapter four, which I'll call '"One Eyed Trouser Snake Rumba" after another Humble Pie song.
Chapter three will be a bit more expository stuff revealing what happened at the drinking contest as well as what happened to the Mayor's assisstent. They'll also be suggestive as hell stuff going on with the Mayor and Brown.
It's not really my style to jump right to clop. I like a lot of buildup, and then there's some release.
216503 I'm far from an Applejack fan (I really don't like her character), but I thought that there weren't many characters that would plausibly do a drinking contest (Big Mac, her, Berry Punch... I think that's it). And the other two I didn't want to write in that role, because it felt... weird. I want Brown's rival to be a potential long-term friend.
Anyways, I cleaned up the dialogue. Please let me know what you think. You give great advice.
219117 I believe there's going to be two chapters soon for sure. One is more set-up with fun romantic tension, and the last one is clop. At that point I'm kind of done with the story, but I'd love more. I just adore this Brown character.
I think the clop will begin in chapter four, which I'll call '"One Eyed Trouser Snake Rumba" after another Humble Pie song.
Chapter three will be a bit more expository stuff revealing what happened at the drinking contest as well as what happened to the Mayor's assisstent. They'll also be suggestive as hell stuff going on with the Mayor and Brown.
It's not really my style to jump right to clop. I like a lot of buildup, and then there's some release.
216503
I'll go through and try to clean up the dialogue a little bit. Thanks for the advice.
216503
I'm far from an Applejack fan (I really don't like her character), but I thought that there weren't many characters that would plausibly do a drinking contest (Big Mac, her, Berry Punch... I think that's it). And the other two I didn't want to write in that role, because it felt... weird. I want Brown's rival to be a potential long-term friend.
Anyways, I cleaned up the dialogue. Please let me know what you think. You give great advice.
219117
I believe there's going to be two chapters soon for sure. One is more set-up with fun romantic tension, and the last one is clop. At that point I'm kind of done with the story, but I'd love more. I just adore this Brown character.
And thanks very much for your reviews!