"The nine most terrifying words in this language are: ‘I'm from the government and I'm here to help.’”

Veggie Vee is the model bureaucrat: enthusiastic, motivated, and absolutely enamoured with setting the world to rights from the safety of her desk in Canterlot. Being assigned to Ponyville to save her job, therefore, wasn't exactly on her to-do list.

The local citizens aren't too happy about it, either. What should have been a simple poster campaign against unhealthy eating swiftly becomes a war of attrition. An incompetent underground resistance attempts to foil her every move and Veggie's latent megalomania isn't helping. Princess Twilight is nowhere to be seen, and an explosion-happy, candy-loving sugar freedom fighter is on the loose.

Everything is about to spiral out of control...

When Twilight Sparkle corrects the grammar of a short story Applejack wrote, she has no idea of the painful repercussions soon to follow.

Note: If you're confused, this story was originally posted by someone else, who thought I wasn't writing anymore and wanted to get my story more exposure, and felt the only way to get it past moderation was to claim to be the author and that I was a "pseudonym." We've had a discussion about that and I'm not angry about it anymore.

Twilight has a migraine.

Migraines can be quite bad.

Weird experimental piece that took third place in Seer's Spookfest - a Quills and Sofas speedwriting contest that took place over a year ago. It was originally written in 75 minutes, and this version has a new ending ;)

Thanks very much to the lovely folks who read and commented during my first ever speedwrite: Mousse, The Legendary Bill Cipher, applezombi, Vis-a-Viscera, Seer, rice, Red, Equus, Novelle Tale, Silent Whisper, Buttery Biscuit, Emotion Nexus, Sweet Banana, Zontan, Hat Man, and Flashgen. I'm so glad I met you all!!

Long ago, Celestia created the Spanish Inquisition and put three strange stallions in charge for unknown reasons. While Twilight goes to question her mentor about this, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, and Granny Smith all have encounters with these three zealots. They didn't expect them at all, and they are all very confused.

Ponified Version of Monty Python's Flying Circus Sketch "The Spanish Inquisition." If you've never seen it, shame on you, and here's a link: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
Hope you all enjoy. If not, I blame it on being my first story.

Applejack wakes up in a unfamiliar room with two familiar faces. Though her memory is jumbled and her body is uncertain, she knows she can always count on her friends.

Applejack's cousin from Las Pegasus, a dancer, comes to visit, and catches everyone off guard. Especially Spike, who is instantly smitten with the young mare--and Rarity is none too happy about it.

Do you need to know what texture an apple's skin has to be in order to be sure that it's ripe? There's an app. for that! Ever wondered how many apples it would take to fill the cement foundation of a skating rink? There's an app. for that too! Ever felt like having an adoracute hologram with orange freckles that you could summon at any moment to chat with you in a charming country accent? Well...

When Twilight Sparkle donates a bunch of crystalline "smart-watches" to the citizens of Ponyville, she unwittingly includes a free download of a holographic Applejack with each prototype. Now the entire town is enamored with utilizing their helpful little neighborhood apple pony. The only thing is... would the real Applejack approve of all this?

Cover art by Fozzywig

Some people have hidden depths and skills you'd never expect. Sometimes they're your friends.

What happens when you realize that your feelings for one of your friends aren't quite the same as your feelings for the rest of them? Do you just prefer some friends for others, or is it a sign of something deeper? What do you do with those feelings? Hide them? Admit them? And how will the rest of your friends react when they find out?

Twilight is going to have to do her best to find the answers, because they're anything but obvious.

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Yes, this is a story about romance, but I'm trying to use it to explore the relationships between the characters and see how they'd really react if romantic feelings ever did crop up, and how such a development would impact the cast as a whole.

Now with a TvTropes page!

There's also a dramatic reading in progress on youtube, here.

And also an updated verison of the cover, courtesy of Novel Idea.

After one of Sweetie Belle's clumsy mistakes ends up destroying one of her sister's entire fashion lines, Rarity is finally sent over the edge. But after a terrible accident lays Sweetie Belle at the foot of death's door, Rarity is faced not only with losing her sister, but also with the reality that she may never be able to apologize for what she did.

Rated T for safety.

Sequel! Hoof Covers Bruise

This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!