Millions of years in the future, Celestia and Luna watch over a dying world. Its surface is a cracked, barren wasteland, baked by a dying sun. The ocean is a caustic soup, choked with salt. Few creatures can survive this hellish future, and even their days are limited.

Yet, despite the desolation, there is some good news: Celestia's birthday is coming up, and Luna has a surprise for her...

Special thanks to Themaskedferret, BronyWriter, and Georg for proofreading and editing. Seriously, you guys rock!

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

One fine morning, Spike woke up early and ran some errands. Then he found Discord putting up a seller's stand, apparently ready to open his own business. One which offers a one-day transformation into anything the user wants. And he apparently had the patience to set up his shop LEGALLY. Twilight and the others brace themselves for the inevitable...

(Content of future chapters controlled by user votes!) (Now with Tropes!)

Now with a 'dramatic' reading: Prologue

Current poll: The transformation is chosen already (Tatzlpony!) You pick who becomes the Tatzlpony! (Voting ends 6/25 at 5PM EST)
Previous poll: The Cutie Mark Crusaders (63 votes out of 390) and Age Manipulation (83 votes out of 392) won
Previous poll: Sunset Shimmer (transformation error won with 83 votes out of 325)
Previous poll: Princess Celestia (85 votes out of 397) and Seapony/Siren (104 votes out of 421) won
Previous poll: Trixie (86 votes out of 357) and Alicorn (90 votes out of 338) won
Previous poll: Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee (genderswap won with 199 votes out of 381)
Previous poll: Princess Luna (zebra won with 85 votes out of 368)
Previous poll: Rainbow Dash (griffon won with 274 votes out of 596!!!)
Previous poll: Rarity (diamond dog won with 184 votes out of 444!!!)
Previous poll: Starlight Glimmer (changeling royal (Chrysalis-type) won with 74 votes out of 257)
Previous poll: Pinkie Pie (alicorn won with 80 votes out 282)
Previous poll: Spike (unicorn won with 60 votes out of 225)
Previous poll: Applejack (minotaur won with 56 votes out of 254)
Previous poll: Fluttershy (draconequus won with 75 votes out of 181)

(Voting closes after a week from the posting of the current chapter)

Teleportation - the best way to travel! Not many unicorns master this ancient spell, and even among those who do, the details of how exactly it works remain a mystery. Some even fear what it may or may not do to the caster, but nopony knows for sure.

After much studying, it is time for Twilight Sparkle to perform the spell for the first time. A simple test: Just move from Point A to Point B. But Twilight is about to find out that there is more to teleportation than she thought.

A lot more.

Set prior to the show canon.
Inspired by (but completely unrelated to) Ocalhoun's story Blink.

This story is a sequel to Avocation

Life in Ponyville has been relatively quiet recently, which is somewhat surprising, given that the town's librarian tried to usurp the Equestrian throne only a few months ago. Aside from the appearance of a grumpy pegasus who set up shop as a cloudsmith, the aftermath is so unnoticeable that most ponies aren't even aware that the incident happened at all. Unfortunately, all that's about to change, thanks to the return of a certain revenge-obsessed showmare....

This is the fourth story in The Petriculture Cycle; reading the first three stories, which begin here, is highly recommended.

The artwork was provided by Page Turner, and the TV Tropes entry can be found here.

This story is a sequel to Inscape

Penumbra seeks gainful employment. Hilarity ensues.

This is the third story in The Petriculture Cycle. The TV Tropes entry can be found here.

Artwork by Page Turner.

This story is a sequel to Petriculture

It's been several months since Pinkie Pie made a stunning admission about her past that permanently changed her relationship with her friends, particularly Twilight Sparkle, but life seems to have settled back to normal (well, normal by Pinkie Pie's standards, at least). However, when an old nemesis returns and ensnares Twilight in her influence, it's up to Pinkie to make things right.

This is the second story in The Petriculture Cycle. There is a TV Tropes Page for the entire Cycle here.

Cover image by Page Turner; "Princess Twilight" vector by Nianara.

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

Why does Princess Celestia leave Twilight to face all the villains?
Sunset Shimmer has returned to Equestria, to confront her former teacher.
The solar princess decides it's time to answer Sunset's questions.

"Hey, uh, Rick, what did you want me to, uh, write down here again?"

"Look, Morty, it's not that urp complicated, just, just write down a generic description of what we did."

"But Rick, we did a lot of things!"

"Then figurp it out, Morty. Christ, and here I thought you were getting at least a bit smarter. Just, write down something about, uh, 'Rick and Morty Get Stuff From Horse Land'. 'Morty and Rick and something something horse pun'. I dunno, something."

"I want to go back to the ponies..."

"Oh, I bet you would like that, huh, MMMorty? Go back to the girly dimension full of urp friendship and magic and all that. Look, just give it here, I'll, uh, just put it up as it is."

Now with coverart by some guy named Shadow Bolt