//------------------------------// // Opening Day // Story: Discord's New Business // by KnightMysterio //------------------------------// Discord's New Business by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires All characters copyrighted to their original owners and used for non-profit amusement purposes. Please support me on patreon if you like my work! /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Ponyville... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Morning in Ponyville shimmers. And most of the time, it even shines. And when you wake up in a place like Ponyville, you know for absolute certain that everything's going to be fine. “TWILIGHT! Wake up! Wake up wake up wake up!” And then you step out your front door and immediately realize you should have just stayed in bed. “Ngh... What is it, Spike? It's...” Twilight yawned, blearily looking over at the clock. A scowl came to her face. “Spike... The only ponies up at this hour are the Cakes. Do I look like either of the Cakes?” Spike, standing in the doorway of his big sister's bedroom, couldn't resist. “Well, you have put on a little weight lately.” Twilight's glare could have melted titanium. Spike giggled. “But seriously, this is kinda-sorta important,” he said. “World-ending important?” Twilight said. “Because if it isn't, I'm going back to sleep. I'm FINALLY caught up on my research and...” “Discord's starting a business,” Spike said. Twilight's words died in her throat. “I... what?” Spike nodded. “I woke up to use the bathroom and couldn't get back to sleep. So I decided to do some errands, collect some herbs and berries near the edge of the Everfree for your experiments. And before you say anything, I stayed in full view of the watchtowers, so I was fine,” he said. Twilight nodded. The watchtowers kept an eye on the Everfree Forest, going up shortly after Zecora had been properly introduced to the town, both to watch for monsters and to watch anyone going in and out, in case they needed protection. “I was heading back to the castle,” Spike continued, “when I saw Discord setting up a stand in the marketplace.” “...Did you get a look at what he was selling?” Twilight asked, becoming worried. Spike shook his head. “No. But, Twilight, he's got a permit. He has it framed, looks like he's going to hang it on his stand once he's completed.” Twilight's eye twitched. “A permit. As in he's doing this completely legally. As in he somehow managed the patience to actually sit through doing all the necessary paperwork.” Spike nodded. “Uh huh...” Twilight covered her head with her pillow and let out a frustrated groan. She yawned, and said, “Okay, get the girls. It may be nothing, but... I want to be sure. I'll wake up Starlight Glimmer.” Some quick sent off letters and a sleepy reformed cult leader prodded awake later, and eight occasional heroes were gathered in front of the most bizarre creature in Equestria as he set up a rather simplistic stand. “Ow!” he cursed as he accidentally hit the thumb of his lion paw. Shaking his hand in annoyance, he noticed the girls for the first time and smiled. “Oh! Hello there, ladies and kid appeal character. Come to wish me luck on my latest business venture?” The gathered ponies and dragon traded worried looks. “We're just... wondering what your 'business venture' is,” Twilight asked. Discord smiled. “I'm glad you asked!” he said. He held up a sign, drawn in what looked like crayon. “I'm pleased to welcome you to the grand opening of Discord's Temporary Species Swap Services!” Twilight summed up everypony's feelings when she said, “...What?” Discord resumed setting up his stand. “Celestia was being a pill about me finding something constructive to do with my time. She suggested that I get a job, and while normally I would balk at the idea of something as structured and orderly as WORK, ick, I got the idea of using my chaos powers as part of my job! Took me a bit to figure out something, and after that I knew I'd have to come up with RULES for it, and yes, it was physically painful for me to do so...” Rainbow Dash growled impatiently. “Get to the point!” Discord flicked her nose. “I'm getting there. Hold your water,” he said, snapping his fingers. A bucket of water appeared out of nowhere and dumped on Rainbow Dash's head. Pinkie Pie giggled as Rainbow Dash fumed. “Anyway,” Discord continued. “The more I thought about my idea, the more I wanted to see it come to fruition. So I went through all the paperwork, agreed to all the Mayor's rules (which includes setting up my stand without breaking physics to do so), got all the responsibility waivers printed, and got my license. I am now fully prepared to offer anypony a temporary, one-day change of species and/or tribe!” “I'm not sure what you mean...” Fluttershy said softly. “Well... Oh this is taking forever...” Discord muttered. He looked from side to side briefly and snapped his fingers, his stand assembling itself. “My dear Fluttershy. Didn't you tell me once that you'd like to be a tree? Well, now you can actually be one! For twenty four hours, at which time you will be automatically changed back and teleported to relative safety.” “Teleported back?” Applejack asked. “Let's say Pinkie Pie here decided she wanted to become a pegasus for the day,” Discord said, Pinkie Pie looking thoughtful at the idea. “It'd be dangerous if her time as a pegasus ran out while she was still in the air, correct?” “Yes...” Twilight said cautiously. Discord grinned. “Well, thanks to the way I've structured the transformation spell, once her twenty-four hours is up, she'll be teleported right back to the nearest stable ground without incident.” Starlight still looked doubtful. “What about basic abilities? You can't learn magic in a day...” “You can, Timebreaker,” Discord countered, Starlight wincing. “Pretty sure Pwincess Fwiendship here can too.” “Starlight and I have a natural affinity for unicorn magic,” Twilight protested. “And even then, we're talking something basic, like telekinesis. Once an infant's surges pass, it takes them a while to be able to manifest it properly again.” Discord waved dismissively. “I make sure to include all basic knowledge of abilities for whatever you turn into,” he said. “Flying, cloudwaking, basic telekinesis, all of that.” Twilight frowned, huddling Spike and the others together and discussing things quickly while Discord popped a featherduster into existence, dusting off his stand. After a moment, Twilight turned back around. “What sort of transformations are you offering?” she asked. “Earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, alicorn...” Discord started. “ALICORN!??” Twilight shrieked. “You can do that?” Starlight asked quietly. “Let me finish,” Discord snapped. “BUT...!” Twilight stammered. “Let's hear him out,” Fluttershy said quietly. Twilight sputtered a moment, but went silent. “Thank you, my dear Fluttershy,” Discord said, smiling warmly at her. Fluttershy smiled back. Discord coughed, and then continued. “Anyway. The basic options are Earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, alicorn, zebra, donkey, griffon, minotaur, old-type changeling, new-type changeling, changeling royalty, dragon, and draconequus. Alicorn, changeling royal, draconequus, and dragon, of course, will be the most expensive, and I do take special requests.” Twilight still looked uncomfortable. “JUST twenty-four hours, right?” she asked. “Twenty-four hours, and the spell ends automatically,” Discord said, leaning up against his stand. “That's... that's okay, I guess... Can't really cause too much damage in a day...” Twilight said. It took all of Discord's willpower not to giggle wickedly. “I don't know, girls,” Pinkie Pie said. “It sounds like it could be fun! And it's just for a day, right?” Discord nodded. “And, in the spirit of friendship (or the close approximation of it that most of you have with me), I'm prepared to offer each of you your first transformation for free.” That caught everyone off-guard, Discord relishing the expressions on their faces. “S-Seriously?” Spike asked. Discord nodded. “All eight of you get to turn into whatever you want for a day, completely for free,” he said. “We... We'll think about it,” Rarity said after a moment. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, normally the most impulsive, agreed as well. Discord nodded. “Fair enough,” he said. “Ah, while you're here, Twilight, would you review the waiver forms, please? I need to make sure that there's no legal repercussions that can come back to me on this.” “...So you ARE up to something,” Twilight said, scowling. “Of course I am,” Discord said, smirking and handing over one of the waiver forms. “Same thing I'm always up to – creating chaos. This time, however, I'm doing it LEGALLY. I'm offering a service in an untapped market. All I'm doing is making the transformations possible. What anypony does with it afterwards is their business.” Twilight frowned, looking over the paper. She mumbled her way through the legalese, reading the important part aloud. “This document, legally notarized, hereby states that I, the undersigned, agree that Discord, the very handsome Lord of Chaos is not responsible for any damage, physical, mental, or emotional, done to myself or any others. Discord simply provided the transformation, I am responsible for what I did with it.” “Ah, legal booty covering,” Discord said, relaxing against his stand. “One of the few inventions of Order that I find entertaining.” “Girls...” Twilight said. “We can't do anything about this. He's got all his legal bases covered. And technically, he's right.” “He's right,” said Twilight's voice from the recording device Discord made. “Also, he's very handsome.” Twilight's horn flared, crushing the recording device. Discord cackled. Twilight shook her head, and said, “The best we can do is try and contain any collateral damage from the transformations.” Rainbow Dash scowled. “So what, we're just gonna let this go?” she said, gesturing to him. “He is offering us a free use of his service,” Rarity said, looking thoughtful. Spike was also considering his options. Rainbow Dash grumbled. “Fine, finefinefine,” she said. “But I'm keeping an eye on you!” She flew off in a streak of color, the others filing away, thoughtful looks on their faces. Except for Fluttershy. Inwardly, Discord was pleased that she'd come to him first. Once the others were out of listening range, he said, “So, my dear. Shall I take this to accept that you're interested in my services?” Fluttershy nodded. “I've always wanted to be a tree,” she said softly. “So tall, and strong...” Discord nodded, hugging her. “For you, my dear, anything.” He snapped his fingers, and Fluttershy vanished. When she reappeared, she was now in the Everfree forest, a tall, mighty oak tree. Fluttershy squeed internally. Eee! I'm finally a tree! she thought happily. Hello, fellow trees! Yay! No response from the surrounding foliage. Well, that's okay. I'm just so excited! She watched as the sun moved across the sky. She listened to the sounds of the forest. She tried to look around, but found herself unable to move her gaze from straight ahead. She tried to look down to see her roots, but was unable to move. Well, I can't move, but maybe I'll see some lovely animals! Some birds, some bunnies, and... she trailed off. Something will happen, I know it! This was her dream come true. She was a tree! She was a part of nature, tall and strong! She cleaned the air, producing oxygen and taking in carbon dioxide. She felt something nuzzle up against her underside. Oooh! A critter's nuzzling up against me! She squeed again. I wonder what it is! Is it a bunny? A deer? A... She felt something warm and wet pouring against her. O-oh. The critter just wanted to... Well, that's okay. It's a part of nature. Yay... Hours passed. The wind blew through Fluttershy's branches. Nothing happened. I wonder how my animals are doing... she thought. I didn't really think about this. I should have told them what I was doing. Oh Fluttershy, how could you be so impulsive? I... No. Angel's good at coordinating everyone. They'll be fine. More time passed. A bird flew by. Nothing of interest happened. ...Wow I'm bored, she thought. She tried to pass the time by thinking about what she knew about trees. It lasted about an hour before she ran out of information. Where are all the critters? she thought. ...No, it wouldn't matter, because I can't hold them, or cuddle them... I can't even look down to see them! I just... She gave up. Discord? This isn't what I expected it to be... Can I change back now? The draconequus appeared out of nowhere, wrapping around her. “I figured this would happen,” he said, smiling sadly. “Although to your credit, you lasted longer than I thought you would.” He snapped his fingers, the two of them returning to the stand, Fluttershy turning back into a pegasus. Fluttershy stretched, flapping her wings and flexing her body, trying to loosen up after her extended paralysis. Discord leaned up against his stand. Ponies were milling about, going about their business. As Fluttershy looked around, she saw that Discord had some other customers in the meantime. Zecora was apparently a pegasus zebra now, and from the way she was laughing, was clearly enjoying her new gift of flight. Bon Bon was a changeling, one of Thorax's from the look of the color scheme, and showing off her transformation ability to a giggling, happy Lyra. Royal Pin had become an Earth pony, and was talking animatedly with an amused Big Macintosh. Fluttershy smiled. She was glad Discord was getting customers. “As you weren't satisfied,” Discord said, “I'm willing to give you another freebie for a full twenty-four hours. What would you like to become for the day?” Fluttershy smiled, sitting down to think... TO BE CONTINUED Vote for what happens next in the poll!