//------------------------------// // III. Assistant Pastry Chef // Story: Avocation // by Kwakerjak //------------------------------// HRH Princess Luna of Equestria The Royal Palace Canterlot   Your Majesty:   Your suggestion that I seek some form of employment was rather unanticipated on my part. I did not have much time to formulate an opinion on it before Pinkie Pie seized upon it as a “super-duper awesome” idea to give me a chance to “blend in” with mainstream Equestrian society. I would argue that the chance of a dark blue pegasus blending in amongst the generally brighter-hued ponies of Ponyville is slim at best, were it not so blindingly obvious that this line of reasoning would be subsequently ignored.   Naturally, her first inclination was to ask the Cakes to provide me with a job. On the whole, this was quite sensible. Not only did the location of Sugarcube Corner promise an exceptionally short commute, but Pinkie Pie’s longstanding position there indicated a high tolerance for ponies with “unique” personalities. As predicted, they were more than willing to create a temporary position for me, with the possibility of permanent employment pending my success.   It therefore grieves me to inform you that my career as an assistant pastry chef was rather short-lived. This was not due to any particular difficulty I found in making baked goods—although the process was somewhat tedious, Mrs. Cake’s recipes were quite clear about the steps needed to adequately bake the shop’s wares. Rather, there was a slight problem with customer relations: during my stint at the register, a particularly insensitive patron had the gall to complain about the lack of variety in the scones available for purchase. As I had spent much of that morning making the goods in question, I proceeded to explain that no variety had been offered, as scones are not meant to include such ingredients as cranberries and orange peel and should therefore be enjoyed without any needless embellishment. For this, I was severely reprimanded, as it is apparently not considered a sound business practice to leave one’s customers cowering underneath a table in a pool of their own tears.   Needless to say, I tendered my resignation at the end of the day. This was accepted, though I do find myself wishing that the Cakes had at least made a pretense of wanting to give me a second chance. Still, Pinkie Pie feels quite optimistic that a pony of my talents and skills should be able to find employment relatively soon. I eagerly await your analysis of these developments.   Yours sincerely, Penumbra Noctis