Customer 3: Spike
Discord's New Business
Customer 3: Spike
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires
All characters copyrighted to their original owners and used for non-profit amusement purposes. Please support me on patreon if you like my work!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Ponyville...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
“...Yeah, sorry,” Spike said. “I've planned this out for too long.”
Discord nodded. “Fair enough,” he said. “Unicorn it is, then.”
Spike nodded. “An ADULT unicorn, thank you very much,” he said, putting a bag of bits on the table.
Discord frowned. “I told you that you and the others were getting a freebie,” he said.
Spike nodded again. “Yeah. I'm paying for a full week,” he said.
“And this just became interesting again,” Discord said, smirking. “Planning on the mysterious stranger routine?”
Spike nodded. “I'm gonna romance Rarity for sure,” he said confidently.
“Even though it won't be you, technically, doing the romancing,” Discord said.
“I'm working up to it,” Spike said, frustrated. “I just... I just wanna see if I can do it.”
Discord rubbed his temples. “Look, kid... You really sure you want to do it this way?”
Spike nodded. “Yep! A week's worth of romance with the mare I love? Totally worth it,” he said.
“If she's worth it, she'll love you for you,” Discord said, frowning.
Spike frowned. “Why wouldn't she be worth it? She's the most beautiful, most wonderful mare, most wonderful PERSON in Equestria!”
“Spike...” Discord said. “I know this seems out of character for me, but I've grown fond of you, kiddo. And I think you're...”
Spike scowled. “Discord, c'mon! What can you possibly know about love?”
“More than you think, kiddo,” Discord said. “It's why Princess Stereotypical Hearts & Hooves Day Colors up in the Crystal Empire is more willing to put up with me than most other ponies. She understands. Because love, my little dragon, is nothing more than one of the purest forms of chaos.”
Spike fidgeted uncomfortably. “I've made up my mind,” Spike said. “I already got a lecture like this from Twilight, but I want to do it...”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said. “One week. Don't come crying to me when it backfires.” He snapped his fingers, and Spike vanished in a puff. When he reappeared an instant later, he had become a tall, handsome purple unicorn with a green mane and tail. His cutie mark was that of a scroll surrounded by green flame.
“Nice!” Spike said, chuckling in surprise at his deeper voice. “I... wow, that's weird. Hey, how do I look?”
Discord, more than a little disappointed, conjured up a mirror. Spike grinned happily. “This is great! Thanks, Discord!”
“Sure, fine,” the draconequus said. Spike ran off to put his scheme into motion. He went over to a pair of saddlebags he had hidden, putting them on and taking a deep breath. He looked into the mirror he had set up, using his magic to pick it up, silently grateful that his transformation came with an instant knowledge of basic abilities.
“Okay...” he said to the mirror as he rehearsed his lines. “My name is Quick Scroll. I'm a deliverypony from Canterlot. I've been thinking about moving to Ponyville, though.”
“That's great!” said a voice from behind Spike. He yelped, turning around, spotting Pinkie Pie standing there, grinning happily. “Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!” she said. “Welcome to Ponyville! I'm glad to meet you! We've been getting a lot of new ponies lately and it's always great to meet new ponies! Because new ponies always means new friends to make! And it's my job as Official Greeter Pony of Ponyville to make sure you're properly welcomed to Ponville with a Patented Pinkie Pie Pony Party!”
“N-No, that won't be necessary,” Spike stammered, trying to maintain his cover as he looked around. “I can't afford to pay for one, so I...”
“First party's always free!” Pinkie Pie said, giggling happily. “It's okay! I do this for every new friend!”
“That makes it sounds like a drug deal...” Spike muttered. “Well... If you do this for every pony, doesn't it get expensive? Especially since you say you do this a lot...”
“Nah, I invest well so I'm pretty much rich, so I can afford it!” Pinkie Pie said.
“Well that answers some questions,” Spike muttered. “And raises so many more...”
“I just LOVE making new friends, and I figure what better way to make a new friend than by throwing them a party? After all, nothing says friendship like a celebration of the fact that you're there!” Pinkie Pie said.
Spike sighed. “Look... Pinkie Pie, that's not necessary. I really don't want a party,” he said.
Pinkie Pie frowned. “Awww, but why?” she said. “Is it because you've heard of me and know what kind of party I usually throw? I can do something more mature! I don't like them, but I can do them!”
“Pinkie, that's not...” Spike started.
“Do you have a phobia of parties? Because I can recommend a great therapist. She said she's given up on figuring me out but...”
“PINKIE!” Spike said. “A party isn't necessary because you've already given me one.”
“Really?” Pinkie said, confused. “I don't remember seeing you before...”
Spike sighed. “Pinkie, it's me, Spike,” he said. “I used my freebie from Discord.”
Pinkie blinked. And then grinned. “Oh! OOOOOH! Okay, that makes sense now! I even kinda recognize you now, what with the fact that you have the similar coloring, and the scroll with green flame as a cutie mark, and you sound like Spike when he's doing an older voice...”
Spike magically clamped Pinkie Pie's mouth shut, looking around worriedly. “Just... just be quiet for a second, okay? I need you to Pinkie Promise me that you won't let anypony know it's me. Okay?”
Her mouth still clamped, Pinkie Pie nodded. “Mmmhmm! Btt why?” she asked.
Spike looked over to where Rarity was haggling with a vendor. He sighed dreamily. “I'm going to date Rarity. Give her a handsome stallion to be with,” he said.
Pinkie Pie frowned. “Btt dnnt yuu wnt to dte Rariry as yrslf?” she asked.
“Just stop, okay?” Spike said, getting frustrated. “I've gotten this twice already. Just... promise me you won't interfere!”
Pinkie Pie shrugged, nodding as Spike let her mouth go. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she said. “I swear I will not interfere with this cockamamie scheme of yours.”
Spike sighed in frustration. “That'll do, I suppose...” he said. “Now shoo. I need to do this...”
Pinkie Pie nodded, skipping off. Spike shook his head at her, and turned back to Rarity, sighing wistfully. He checked his saddlebags, and went off to enact his plan.
Rarity, for her part, was just going about her day, gathering supplies for her shop. She had been giving Discord's offer a lot of thought. Fluttershy and Applejack had certainly enjoyed their transformations. And to top it all off, Applejack had declared that she was thinking about seeing Iron Will more in the future.
Such possibilities...
Without paying attention to where she was going, she didn't see the stallion until the two had crashed into each other, Rarity's saddlebags spilling out on the cobblestone. “Oh, dash it all!” she said, moving to pick up the spilled threads.
Before she could, however, a bright green field picked them up for her. “I'm terribly sorry,” said a voice. “I really should have been watching where I was going...”
Rarity smiled. “It's all right,” she said. “At least you're gentlecolt enough to admit your mistake. And truth be told, I wasn't watching where I was going either.” After gathering up her fallen items, she turned towards the stallion... and blushed. “Oh my...”
He was a tall sort, with a bright green mane and striking purple coat. “Heh... I'm sorry. My name is Quick Scroll. I'm a deliverypony from Canterlot, here on vacation. Been thinking about moving here, I've heard a lot of good things about it,” he said easily. He blushed, and added, “And if everypony else here is as good looking as you, I have even more reason to come visit.”
Rarity giggled... and noticed the cutie mark. Her face faltered a little, disappointment crossing her face briefly, but she hid it quickly, giving the stallion a flirtatious smile. “Flattery will only get you so far with me, Mr. Quick Scroll. My name is Rarity, by the way.”
Spike smiled. “Well, if you're willing, Miss Rarity, I'd be more than willing to treat you to dinner to make up for running into you,” he said, giving her a suave smile.
Oh well, Rarity thought. “Oh how kind!” she said. “But I think we can dispense with that, shall we? Why don't you come up to my place, and we can get to know each other better.”
Spike gulped. “O-Oh?” he asked.
Rarity flicked her tail at him. “Indeed,” she said. “I think we can make this a bit more... intimate a meeting.”
What's going on?! Spike thought. Another part of his brain was telling him to shut up. Rarity's never been this forward before!! his logical brain thought. Then the male libido part of his brain suplexed his logical part into a box and locked it shut.
The two of them went into Carousel Boutique. Rarity motioned for Spike to sit while she made tea for them both.
“This is going better than I thought,” Spike said to himself, looking around the shop and pretending it was all new to him. “So you're a dressmaker?”
“Indeed,” Rarity said. “Have you heard of the Canterlot Carousel?”
“Oh yes,” Spike said. “My sister bought a dress from there one time, and... wait, are you THAT Rarity?” He grinned. “This is quite an honor, then. My sister looked fantastic in your dress.”
Rarity came out, smiling. “It's always nice to hear my work is appreciated, Quick Scroll,” she said. “One lump, or two?”
“Three,” Spike said. “I have a bit of a sweet tooth.”
Rarity giggled. “Fair enough,” she said, putting the cubes in. “Now, where were we?”
“Well,” Spike said, after sipping his tea.
“Oh, I remember now,” Rarity said, taking Spike's tea away from him. “I was about to show you the night of a lifetime.”
“...Buh?” Spike said. Before he could react, Rarity pounced on him.
Rarity was purring, grinning at the blushing, flustered stallion. “Relax. I always wanted a handsome, debonair deliverystallion to play with.”
Spike gulped. Half of him wanted this, but he knew this wasn't right. “Miss Rarity... Please...” he said.
“Please what, darling?” Rarity said pleasantly.
“This... this isn't like you!” Spike said, sweating fearfuly.
“Oh? And how would you know?” Rarity said, leaning in for a kiss... and then suddenly pulling away, moving across the room. “No... no, I can't!”
Spike just lay there, stunned. He shook his head to clear it. “Miss Rarity?” he asked, confused.
In full melodrama mode, Rarity said, “As attracted as I am to you, darling, I simply cannot act on my feelings. For you see...” She took a deep breath. “I have promised my heart to another.”
Spike's eyes widened. “O-oh?” he said, not daring to hope.
Rarity nodded. “Yes... He's really a sweet young stallion... Kind, gentle, noble, a prince without actually being of royal blood... Although he was a lord for a few minutes.”
Spike was battling not to grin. “He sounds like a good one,” he said.
“Oh he is... So handsome, too... It's just...” She frowned, dropping the melodrama. “There has been problems between us recently...”
WHAT!? What'd I do!? I have to find out, so I can correct it! “Oh? What's happened?” Spike, just barely managing to force himself to be calm.
Rarity turned directly towards Spike. “Well, for one thing, he thinks so little of my feelings that he decided to try dating me in another body, pretending to be a deliverypony named Quick Scroll...”
Spike's heart sank. “I...” he stammered, ears going flat against his head. “I just... Rarity, I don't...” He sighed, head drooping. “I was that obvious, huh?”
“Same coloring, cutie mark a direct reference to your scroll-sending flame, and your voice is far too similar to your natural one,” Rarity said softly. “I admit I was taken aback at first by how handsome you are in this form, but I recognized you quickly enough.”
Spike sighed wearily. “Dang it... I thought I was being so clever...”
“Spike,” Rarity said, “Why did you think pretending to be someone else to date me for a day would be a good idea?”
“I just...” Spike said. “I'm so tired of being treated like a baby just because of how I look. I know I'm young, but I'm not THAT young.”
Rarity sighed. “I suppose that's my fault... But consider how I'd feel. If I had fallen for your disguise, I would have fallen in love with Quick Scroll. Not you. After the day was up, I would have been left pining for him instead of you.”
Spike fidgeted. “I paid for six extra days...”
Rarity sighed. “Oh Spike...” she said. “Do you really think so little of me and my feelings for you?”
Spike grimaced. “No, it's not that, I...” He shook his head. “I love you, Rarity! You are more beautiful than any treasure, any gold, any flower in the world! When I hear your voice, it's like heaven itself singing! And, and the way you act, always so graceful and full of poise... Every motion is perfect! And you're so caring, and loving... Even if it means messing up your mane a little, you'll do what it takes to help a friend, to help someone in need!” Spike was almost crying now. “I don't want anyone else but you, Rarity. And I never will. You're so wonderful... who in this world can compare?!”
Rarity was stunned, blushing a little. She knew how Spike felt about her, but she had assumed for so long that it was puppy love. And while she was a little offended that he hadn't come to her as himself, the fact that he felt so strongly about her... “Spike, I...”
Spike's head drooped again. “I... I didn't want you to find out how I felt about you this way...”
Rarity giggled.
Spike frowned. “What's so funny?”
“Spike,” Rarity said, “the way you feel about me is the worst kept secret in Ponyville.”
Spike groaned, covering his head with his hooves. “Well, this day went to Tartarus fast...” he muttered.
Rarity sighed, and smiled. “Spike... I'm sorry for not realizing how serious your feelings were,” she said. “I will try to be more respectful of them in the future...”
Spike sighed. “Thank you...” he said. “I know, there's a whole species difference between us...”
Rarity shook her head. “That's never been the issue, my precious scales...” she said, sitting next to him.
Spike nodded. “The aging difference, then. Twilight's brought it up a few times, that I age at a slower rate than ponies...”
Rarity chuckled wearily. “By the time you'd look old enough that there wouldn't be trouble, I'd be old and decrepit. Certainly no treasure...”
Spike smiled at her. “Even if you were as old and wrinkly as Granny Smith, I'd still think you were beautiful...”
Rarity gasped, touched. “Spike, I...” She blushed brightly, and realized, to her shock, that she cared just as deeply about the transformed dragon. “Oh, drat it all, this isn't fair...” She closed her eyes.
Spike looked up. “Rarity?”
Rarity shook her head firmly. “No. No, I refuse to give up. You are EVERYTHING I could ask for in a stallion, and for some reason that escapes me you think I'm just as wonderful. We live in a world that has magic that can transform the very foundations of the planet. I refuse to believe that there's no way we can reasonably be together!”
Spike grinned widely. “Yeah... Yeah! We can figure this out!”
Rarity smiled at Spike, kissing him for real this time. “And when we do come together, my precious scales, it will be as each other.”
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Meanwhile...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
“Whatcha listening to?” Pinkie asked.
Discord grinned. “Nothing in particular. Just two lovers finally getting it. What do you need, Pinkie Pie?”
“Well,” Pinkie Pie said. “Seeing Spike do his change got me thinking, and I think I know what I want for my freebie!”
Discord rubbed his hands together excitedly. “I've been waiting for this,” he said. “What'll it be, Miss Pie?”
Pinkie Pie smiled, and told him.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time: Pinkie Pie transforms!
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
999 users online
1,395,536 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
TATZL-PIE!!!
Tatzle-Pinkie?
...
...
...
The fuck DO you call tatzlepony PInkie?
8065093 Be sure to vote in the linked poll.
8065093
I want to second the Tatzle-pony, simply because you hardly ever see them in the stories.
Sad that he didn't go for an Alicorn. But, oh boy I know for sure Pinkie Pie will choose to be a Alicorn and create the most chaotic party that the planet has ever face...
Everyone for themselves!
8065099 I did. I just posted my choice in the comments here and on the blog because I wasn't certain which you'd be checking for the special requests, which the poll did say to tell you in the comments..
i'd still say Changeling of some kind simply because it's Pinkie why would she want something Static.
Honestly though this chapter turned out pretty much the way i expected. And really the pair of them are worrying about age when Discord could make something more permanent for them...... Cripes Rarity as a dragon....... I'm sold on that.
Special Request: She says "Surprise Me." and then Wings happen.
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mlpfanart/images/d/d6/Surprise_by_AtomicGreymon.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/225?cb=20120103151006
I'm betting on her saying a living rock that can communicate with other rocks, and not canceling out like Fluttershy did with the tree bit.
8065099 When will the poll close?
8065184 Thursday at midnight
Went about as predictably as I expected it to. Still, can't blame the author when the people who voted for unicorn Spike knew exactly what they wanted by shoehorning Sparity into an otherwise unique and neat concept.
So kudos, KnightMysterio, you salvaged what you could from this. Can't ask for much else.
8065444 I'm not against Sparity, so this was a fairly easy chapter to write. Ish. I'm never sure of myself when I write romance.
That was sweet. Of course, now these two are likely going to delve into dark, forbidden lore in the hopes of transforming Rarity into an alicorn on a permanent basis. Or permanently polymorphing her into a dragon; that could work too, though she may find herself tempted to snack on her stock. In any case, it's a good thing Spike was raised by an arcane scholar/librarian.
As for Pinkie, the only real choice is whether or not she should keep her bilateral symmetry as she ascends to temporary demigodhood.
8065581 I'll give you credit though, I liked how you made Rarity see right through Spike's form and carried on from there. Personally, I just dislike Sparity on a horrendously biased conceptual level, so I'm not exactly the best person to ask about how it was written.
I can't help but think you may not have thought this through much.
He's right, you know.
I can't help but feel this will backfire, but I hope it won't.
As Pinkie does.
She figured it out.
Man, I could have sausages and bacon for a while if I could use all this HAM.
She has a point.
It really is.
Discord could help, but I can't help but think that could backfire.
This is going to be either terrifying, or hilarious or both. I'm eager.
8065099 Don't think Rarity would have gone with Spike as a unicorn--or any other pony type for that matter...we all know how she feels about green hair...
8067103 My headcanon has her maturing out of her dislike of green.
Side note: I would really rather prefer you take tally via blog, not Straw Poll. It lets us feel less confined and allows us to discuss possibilities and change our minds if somebody brings up a cool new idea. More organic, more chaotic, just as Discord would like.
8068430 and yet it would be a huge pain in the ass for him to have to read every comment, many of which are guaranteed to not be about the poll itself.
Spike nodded. “An ADULT unicorn, thank you very much,”
I'm surprised Spike is that genre savvy.
What would truly cruel? What if Rarity choose to become a DRAGON for Spike? A BABY dragon just for him? Gift of the Magi.
Though Rarity as an Alicorn would be cool too.
Ironically, in the comics, it's revealed that Iron Will is a family man, with a wife and 'Jr.' (I like the idea of her name being Indomitable Will, her maiden name being Indomitable Warrior.)
Then the male libido part of his brain suplexed his logical part into a box and locked it shut.
BWAHAH!
Rarity turned directly towards Spike. “Well, for one thing, he thinks so little of my feelings that he decided to try dating me in another body, pretending to be a deliverypony named Quick Scroll...”
Come on Rarity, you know you were either gonna give being an Alicorn a try, (Let's face facts, Rarity's in EPIC denial about that), or be a dragonness.
And Clark Kent has to deal with Louis Lane being in love with Superman.
Spike is a DRAGON, he can no more be rid of the greedy part of himself than he can his own scales, yet the mare he loves more than any is a mare who embodies generosity. He seeks the ying to his yang?
I'd be old and decrepit. Certainly no treasure...”
I suggest you get to work on becoming a goddess then.
I still think it would be fun if Rarity either became an Alicorn, opposed to Twilight who had the decision MADE FOR HER. (Twilight never wanted to be an alicorn, she just wanted her friends and her studies.) Or an dragoness, and Spike becomes HER treasure. (And she gets a taste of natural dragon instincts.)
If any of them want to keep their new forms, it should be made sure that they're not just caught up in the novelty of it.
This is turning out quite a bit better than I expected. Nice.
I Vote Changeling for Pinkie simply because then she could use changeling power to become anything she wanted.
8065093 Tatzlpie.
8067268 Fair enough.
8069611 8069687
How about an Alicorn-Dragon ?
pinkie should be a draconeques.
I get the feeling Pinkie chose to describe it as cockamamie simply because it's fun to say.
True in any universe.
To be honest I have never been fond of Sparity. way too pedo for me ...
Did Spike still end up paying for this?
Well, that was a waste, and totally predictable and tiring.
I was hoping he would have spent the day with, Celestia or something family like. Oh well, shippers going to beat this thing too death.
Let go, Pinkie!
8156297
For what its worth, I'm with you man, never been one to ship Spike/Rarity.
But the true travesty is the potential wasted here. I hope pinkie can deliver.
Indeed...
8251507
Investing well is the smart pony's way of getting rich. Although it's been proven that Pinkamena Diane Pie is arguably smarter than Twilight or even Celestia.
I'm late to the party... but I'm super scared right now.
Soooooooo... Rarity is a confirmed pedo now?
I was really expecting Discord to loophole him by turning him into a colt like the comment from Opening Day, then reminding him he still has the age difference issue, but I guess Spike thought ahead of that.
Not a fan of Sparity, and the unexpected reveal she also loves him was somewhat disappointing me.
Spike should go see other girls, that Ember and Sweetie Belle look nice.