Discord's New Business
Customer 2: Applejack
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires
All characters copyrighted to their original owners and used for non-profit amusement purposes. Please support me on patreon if you like my work!
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Ponyville...
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“A minotaur!” Applejack said.
Discord blinked. “I must admit, I didn't see that coming,” he said.
Applejack grinned. “Finally got one over on you, eh?” she asked.
Discord smirked. “Took you long enough,” he teased. “Anyway. Minotaur. Any particular reason?”
“You seen how buff minotaurs get? Imagine all I could haul with those big ol' arms. Less complicated than messin' with harnesses, too. I just gotta pick up the baskets and haul them away,” Applejack said.
Discord stared at her. “So... you want to become a minotaur to get some extra work done on the farm, despite supposedly 'taking a day off.'”
“Eeyup,” Applejack said, smirking.
“So... you're cheating,” Discord said.
“Eeyup,” Applejack said, grinning even wider.
“And you admit it?” Discord asked.
“Element of Honesty, remember?” Applejack said, shrugging.
Discord's mouth slowly curled up into a smile. “I like you,” he said, snapping his fingers.
There was a poof, and Applejack found her hooves unfolding, turning into hands. She stood up, her body becoming bipedal as horns grew out of either side of her head. Her fur, mane, and eye color stayed the same, and her cutie mark remained on her hips, but the changes aside from that were near total. Her tail became whiplike, with only a tuft of blonde at the end while the rest was orange furred. Apple-shaped white patches appeared on her fur as her muzzle changed to be more bull-like. A ring appeared in her nose, and her chest bulged out. Her fur thickened from the waist down, covering the necessary parts there and giving the impression she was wearing pants, while a red top appeared to cover her new bosom.
“The heck...” Applejack said. “Why are there teats on my chest?”
“Minotaurs call them udders,” Discord said. “Humans have so many lovely names for those fat globes. And honestly, how do you think bipedal creatures nurse their young?”
Applejack looked thoughtful, looking down at her chest, and nodded. “Okay, that makes sense when y'think about it,” she said, nodding. “What about the nose ring?”
“Cultural thing. Minotaurs were a slave race back in the day,” Discord said. “They freed themselves and kicked the horseapples out of their slavers. Now? The nose rings are more of a dare. 'Put a chain on me and see what happens to you.'”
Applejack smiled. “I like that,” she said. She looked over her muscular arms, flexing. “Yeah, okay, this feels good. Thank y'kindly, Discord.”
Discord nodded. “Have fun,” he said as Applejack tromped off. As they left, he felt something underneath his table. He looked, and found Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash hiding underneath it.
“Hi,” Pinkie Pie said, grinning nervously. “If Cranky asks, we're not here.”
“Botched a prank?” Discord asked.
“I forgot he's sensitive about his toupees...” Fluttershy said, embarrassed.
Discord snickered. “What'd you do?”
“Well...” Fluttershy said.
Before any of them could say anything, Cranky's toupee walked up to Discord, carrying a golf club on its back. It handed Discord a button saying 'Vote Toupee!' and strode off, whistling a ridiculous song.
Discord grinned. “Ah, the living hairpiece. It's nice to see an appreciation for the classics,” he said.
Rainbow Dash snickered. “Yeah, but now Cranky's chasing after us with a warhammer, so... we're gonna hide until he calms down.”
Discord nodded. “Your secret's safe with me, girls,” he said. “I'll always protect a fellow troublemaker.”
Pinkie giggled, hugging him. “You're the best,” she said.
“That I am,” Discord said, smirking. “...In the meantime, how do you feel about messing with Applejack?”
Fluttershy fidgeted. “I was kinda hoping to wait until Cranky calmed down...”
“He's a sturdy old cuss,” Discord said. “He'll be fine. I'll give him a swag new do later. That being said, Applejack was just by here.”
“Oh yeah?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What'd she get?”
“Minotaur,” Discord said.
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash stared. “...Seriously?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, I know they got some cool history, the Wonderbolts helped them in their rebellions against their slavers centuries ago, but...” Realization dawned, and Rainbow Dash groaned. “Don't tell me she went straight back to the farm...”
Discord just nodded, smirking. “She wanted to try a different work body,” he said.
“AJ... I am disappoint...” Rainbow Dash said.
Fluttershy grinned, an idea coming to her. “I think I have a plan... but I have to talk to a friend about it... Go to Sweet Apple Acres and be ready.”
She snapped her fingers and vanished. Discord, grinning wickedly, snapped his fingers and made a clone of himself with a camcorder. “I have to see this...” he said. “Go with them.” The clone saluted, following Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie as they dashed off to the farm.
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Later...
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“Cain't believe that y'just wanted a different body to work in,” Apple Bloom said, grumbling at her sister.
The minotaur chuckled. She kicked the tree with a single leg, her powerful limbs shaking all the apples off of it. “I'm still on m'day off.”
“Days off are supposed to be relaxing, sis,” Apple Bloom protested.
“And there's nothin' more relaxing that good old fashioned hard work,” Applejack countered, picking up the apples that didn't make it into the basket. Hands really were quite useful.
“Cheater,” Apple Bloom said. “So much for honesty.”
Applejack smirked. “Now, hold on there. I agreed to take the day off. And what I do on my day off is my business, right?” she said.
“I guess...” Apple Bloom muttered.
Applejack chuckled. “I didn't lie, sugarcube. I just got a different idea of what's relaxing than you do,” she said, ruffling her sister's mane. “Now c'mon. Let's get these baskets back into the barn. Harvest has been great this year.”
Apple Bloom sighed, giving up. She let Applejack place a pair of baskets on a saddle, loading them up with apples. Applejack herself picked up the two heaviest baskets, lifting them onto her shoulders. They walked back to the barn, chatting idly... only for the path back to the barn to turn into a metal pathway.
“What in tarnation...” Applejack said. As she walked, a rather upbeat, half-metal, half-country tune began to play. When they reached the clearing...
Applejack and Apple Bloom's jaws dropped. An arena of sorts had been set up in the barn. A roped off raised platform, a battle ring, was set in the middle of the barn. In the stands, Granny Smith, a camera-wielding Discord, and several different types of electric fan were there, all cheering wildly. Rainbow Dash floated nearby, wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, while at the ringside, Big Macintosh and Fluttershy were sitting at a folding table, wearing electronic headsets. Big Macintosh wore a black stetson hat and had a bottle of barbecue sauce nearby (also wearing a stetson hat), while Fluttershy was wearing regal robes and a crown. In the center of the ring was Pinkie Pie, holding a microphone.
“FIRST!” Pinkie Pie said, the mare clad in a black tuxedo, “Entering the ring, hailing from Sweet Apple Acres, weighing in at 400 pounds of solid applebucking muscle, the Queen of Kick! The Engine of Honesty! APPPPLEJAAAACK!!!”
The fans all cheered, Discord grinning at the befuddled look on Applejack's face as he recorded it. Granny Smith, meanwhile, just watched everything with amusement, pouring apple butter on her popcorn.
“The heck's going on?” Applejack muttered. Apple Bloom, suddenly getting it, grinned and pushed Applejack towards the ring. Applejack barely managed to put the bushels down in time before dropping them.
Glaring at Apple Bloom, who giggled and joined Granny Smith in the stands, she looked at Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash with frustration. “C'mon, I got work to do!”
“Not right now you don't,” Rainbow Dash said, smirking.
New music started up, a hard rock theme. The 'lights' went out, a spotlight focusing on a blue minotaur in a tie as he posed at the entrance way, grunting and flexing his muscles. Fireworks went off around him.
“And her opponent, hailing from Labryna, weighing in at 500 pounds of raw motivational strength, the Champion, the Bull who Takes No Bull, the Assertive Annihilator, the Motivational Mastermind, IRON WILL!”
“YEAH!” Iron Will said. “Iron Will is here to show this fun-shirking cow how REAL minotaurs play!”
Applejack facepalmed. “You gotta be kidding me.”
“Looks like we got a real slobberknocker on our hooves, Queen,” Big Macintosh said, turning to look at a Discord cameraman that appeared. “I'm 'BM' Big Macintosh, here with Flutter 'the Queen' Shyler, and you're watching PWF Friday Night Raw!”
“Yaaay!” Fluttershy cheered.
Applejack just glared at the two of them, and then shook her head, turning to Iron Will as he strutted into the ring. “I'm sorry about this... Iron Will, right? Fluttershy mentioned you. Attended one of your motivational classes, but it backfired?”
Iron Will nodded. “Iron Will has since refined his techniques to account for all personality types! But we're not her for that today! Iron Will has volunteered to come teach you what it really means to be a minotaur! Strength! Freedom! AND WRESTLING!”
Before Applejack could react, Iron Will flipped forward, wrapping his legs around her head, and then flipping backwards, carrying Applejack with her and slamming her down.
The fans in the audience cheered, as did Apple Bloom.
“Oooh! Surprised AJ's horns didn't get embedded in the ring with that one, BM!” Fluttershy said.
“A devastating hurracanrana from Iron Will!” Big Macintosh said. “And as Applejack recovers, Iron Will struts his stuff in the ring.”
Applejack slowly picked herself up. She dusted her hat off, and glared at Iron Will, who was indeed posing and flexing, ascending a turnbuckle to rally the crowd of fans. She grunted, and tossed her hat to Apple Bloom.
“All right, pardner,” she said. “You wanna rassle? Lemme show you how an Apple gets down.” She ran up to Iron Will and grabbed him by the waist, suplexing him off of the turnbuckle.
“OOH!” Big Macintosh said. “A daring counter from Applejack! Can she turn this around?!”
“No way, BM!” Fluttershy said. “Iron Will's the champ! Your sister's good, but Iron Will's unbeatable!”
Iron Will rolled to his feet, dazed a little, but smirking. “Now we're gettin' somewhere...” he said, charging her. Applejack charged right back, the two of them locking horns as their heads slammed together. A pushing match ensued as the two vied for dominance. Eventually, Applejack's greater leg strength started to win out. A grin came to her face as she started pushing Iron Will back.
But experience won out in this exchange. Iron Will flipped his head up, breaking the hold, and chopped Applejack across the chest. He then immediately followed it up with a bulldog slam, grabbed Applejack's head in a headlock and running forward, slamming it down.
Applejack grimaced, rubbing at her neck as she rolled to her feet. As Iron Will charged again, Applejack launched a drop kick, catching Iron Will in the chest with enough force to send him flying back into the ropes. He staggered forward, Applejack following up with a clothesline that sent Iron Will sprawling.
“Yeah!” Applejack crowed. “How do y'all like that?!” She flexed for the crowd, the fans cheering wildly as Big Macintosh and Fluttershy provided commentary. The temporary minotaur was feeling great, the feel of an actual challenge sending a thrill through her.
Before she could fully enjoy it, though, Iron Will grabbed her legs, knocking her over. He wrapped her legs around one of his own and turned over, pulling Applejack into a submission hold.
“GAH!” she yelped, her legs bent at an awkward, painful angle. She struggled to escape, to try and grab the ropes, but Iron Will's grip was as solid as his name. “Lemme go!”
“Not until you submit!” Iron Will said, sitting down on her back and bending her legs even further, pinning her in the center of the ring. “When Iron Will's grip says submit, then you better quit!”
“YES!” Fluttershy cheered. “The Sharpshooter's never been beaten!”
Applejack grimaced, her legs in pain from the hold. She couldn't get leverage to break her legs free, Iron Will's arms strong enough to match her mighty legs. She struggled, but couldn't get free.
“All right, all right, I'm done,” Applejack said, tapping the mat.
A Discord rang a bell, Iron Will letting Applejack go. Rainbow Dash raised Iron Will's arm triumphantly as his music played, the crowd cheering wildly.
“THA WINNA, AND STILL CHAMPEEN, IRON WILL!!!” Pinkie Pie yelled.
Applejack rubbed her legs, grumbling. Iron Will knelt down beside her. “Thanks for the match,” he said. “That was fun.” He offered his hand for a fistbump.
Applejack glared at him for a moment, and then shook her head, fistbumping back. “Sure thing, pardner. I don't mind a tussle now and then,” she said.
To her surprise, Iron Will blushed. “And... uh... if you're interested... um... I'm gonna be in town for a while. Or maybe the next time you're a minotaur, and... uh... oh come on, Iron Will, you're an assertiveness trainer...” He coughed, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “I think you're a real pretty cow and want to take you on a date sometime.”
Applejack blushed, startled. “Um... sure! I'll think about it,” she said. Iron Will beamed, and trotted out of the barn.
Fluttershy snapped her fingers, the costumes and arena and fans vanishing. Apple Bloom ran over to hug Applejack. “I'm sorry you didn't win, sis.”
“You'll always be the champ t'us, little sis,” Big Macintosh said.
Applejack blushed, grinning and hugging her family. “Aw shucks,” she said. “Thank y'kindly.”
Rainbow Dash giggled. “That whole thing was awesome! You gonna meet up with him again?” she asked.
“Well...” Applejack said, a slow grin coming to her face. “Maybe.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Epic wrestling prank and we may have gotten a friend a date!” she said, high-hoofing with Pinkie Pie.
Fluttershy smiled. “Thanks for playing along,” she said.
Applejack put her hat back on. “Shoot, I know why y'did it, so I ain't mad. And I did have fun.” She hugged the draconequus. “But if'n y'all are gonna do this sort of thing again, I'd appreciate a little warning.”
Fluttershy grinned wickedly. “Ah, but the best part of chaos is the surprise.”
“Discord is a terrible influence on you,” Granny Smith said flatly.
“Yeah,” Fluttershy laughed.
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In town...
The next day...
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Discord was watching a recording of the match with amusement. He'd already handled a few customers, and was enjoying himself.
“Hey,” said a voice. Discord looked around for a bit, before looking down and spotting Spike standing there.
“What's up?” Discord asked. “Certainly not your height.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “I know what I want to turn into,” he said.
Discord snorted. “If it's anything other than 'unicorn,' I'll be surprised.”
That gave Spike pause, the dragon actually starting to think about it.
Discord quirked an eyebrow, interested. “For the record, I'm adding Diamond Dog to the list of standard choices.”
Spike just nodded, thinking.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time: Spike transforms!
Always a fun read, and I like how you're getting a vote for the changes. I am glad that I'm actually for it... makes me more invested in the story.
I see a problem with the voting thing. Changelings will always be under-represented because of all the different types on the poll. I mean right now Unicorn is winning with 36% but if you sum the changeling choices (27% for old changeling, and 18% for the royal changelings) it would be in the lead.
At the very least there should be just one choice for changeling drone and one choice for changeling queen. New or Old could be a thing only if it wins.
8048674 I have to agree with you there... kinda... we already have an "other - post in the comments" set up... why not just have "changeling - post in the comments what kind". If changeling wins you do the tally... yeah, the same thing... but more details...
that was fun. but in the comics it is official that iron will is married and has a kid fyi
8048754 I choose to regard the comics as being a separate canon from the show.
8048788 awesome opossum then. i mean the majority of fan-fiction throws the cannon out the window anyway and it's still entertaining.
Instead of Unicorn why not Alicorn instead? It would be so funny when he becomes the first male Alicorn that he hopes this we'll get him the date with Rarity but suddenly The Princesses (maybe all 4) have been wanting on a Male Alicorn to rule the nation but ultimately marry since it gets lonely when you grow forever.
If it's just the two royal sisters for sure it's going to be a tug of war... Poor Spike, he isn't going to survive
8048788 Hey, are votes done by an online poll or should we just type them in the comments here?
8048863 There are links on the main page of the story, in the author comments at the end of the story, and the announcement journal for this chapter. The links take you to the poll.
Rarity wants a prince so I say he goes for broke with Alicorn.
8048722 I believe there should be a revision about the changeling types
And just out of curiosity, when it's Rarity's turn to go, how many people going to choose Duamond Dog? I feel that would add a bit of irony.
8048674 The reason I separated the types is to try and simplify the voting. I know that opinion on the changelings is divided right now due to the S6 finale, which is why i separated them. Plus, I didn't want to have another poll in response to a poll...
This went pretty much exactly how I hoped it'd go.
I feel like Spike would want to be a bigger, stronger dragon, either to impress rarity or to feel more useful.
Come on guys, vote for Alicorn! I want Luna and Celestia to fight over him
8048968
Well you can't improve on perfection so the only way is down. And when we go down, we go underground
" Her fur thickened from the waist down, covering the necessary parts there and giving the impression she was wearing pants, while a red top appeared to cover her new bosom."
I know this is a g-rated show, but given AJ's and Ponykind's general lack of modesty,and the unlikely hood of running into another minotaur, it feels slightly gratuitous.
Nice bit on AJ's confusion on the changing position of her maternal material given where it is naturally on a horse.
This was a fun chapter, I kinda want to see events expanded on later, like the whole AJ and Iron Will thing which is a ship I admit I've never seen before.
*Stone Cold Voice* If you loved this chapter give me a HELL YEAH!
*Crowd of people* HELL YEAH!
I loved this chapter, especially what you did with good ol BM, and Flutter"the queen"Shyler, I wish there would've been a joke about seeing puppies since Lawler always commented on that, and fluttershy would also love to see puppies, just a different kind.
One comment I had on it though is in this part
Since you describe the move afterwards you should just call it a bulldog. Other than that Grade A wrestling chapter
Tatzlespike
You know I'd think Spike for Alicorn you know just for lols
for spike i vote pony
that was amusing as hell. I love this story
Pretty sure I've never seen that pairing before. Very glad I voted for this option. Hilarious stuff here.
As for Spike, we'll see what happens. It promises to be quite fun.
Either Unicorn or Alicorn.
Also, I demand fanart of Draconequus!Fluttershy and/or Minotaur!Applejack.
Can I ask a question ?
Can Discord make the change stay for ever ?
Can Flutershy change Discord into a pony, and make her self stay draconequus for ever ?
i vote for spike to be an Alicorn
8063822 Go ahead. :D
Well played.
Sound about right.
Nice loophole abuse.
This should be fun.
This guy's as big a ham as Mr Satan.
I don't even care for wrestling, but this should be a good rope opera.
All right then. Ironjack. Never thought I'd see the day.
Really a short joke? Talk about low hanging fruit.
Are AJ and Iron Will even in the same weight class with a 100 pound difference between them?
8049171
And could have simply followed the 'wookie rule' up there as well, with ONLY Iron Will blushing being the only being there aware of the taboo AJ was breaking.
Why? I mean, I know why, but why? Ah, whatever.
That legitimately sounds delicious...
Hmm, what an interesting name for the Minotaur homeland! I'm partial to Minos and Tauros, myself, but that isn't bad.
Wow. Just wow.
I wonder what it says about me that THAT is my favorite line of these first 3 chapters.
Oh, there'll be hell toupee for that!
*ducks*
Yeah, it was all fun and games, until it somehow won the electoral college.
As I read the wrestling match, I was chowing down on dark chocolate-covered almonds, and jamming to a metal version of Fairy's tale's baddass combat song.
You did so well describing it that I could almost see it. I'm loving this story so far, and EAGERLY look forward to reading the other chapters!
Twchcually by the comics , iron will is married lol
I know please no spike x rarity shipping
do
*than
sounds about right