• Member Since 17th Aug, 2014

The Cynical Brony


"(The Cynical Brony would get arrested for) Complaining about other people's opinions in a coffee shop and ending up slapping the shit out of someone. :rainbowlaugh:" -The Hat Mann

The Delorean's Glove Box (AKA The TARDIS Library) [READ LATER] 5652 stories
Found 5,258 stories in 293ms

Total Words: 164,062,987
Estimated Reading: 65 weeks

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  • Featured 23152 stories Stories that have been featured on Fimfiction ( Automatically populated! )


  • Interviews 408 stories Stories that have had their author interviewed


  • Reviewed 0 stories Stories that have been reviewed
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Featured on 18 June 2017!
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Pinkie Pie has a thermonuclear weapon and she's not afraid to use it.:pinkiehappy:
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Not related to any other stories I've written.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all related content is owned by Hasbro. CYA.

Chapters (1)
T
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Twilight is assassinated. Repeatedly. If only anypony knew what the word "immortal" meant...


Now with a reading by Skijarama!
Now available in Spanish!

Originally written for the Writeoff Association's February contest, "The Twilight Zone."
Thanks to Not_A_Hat, Masked Ferret, Floydien, Chryssi, and ChappedPenguinLips for prereading.

Chapters (1)
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"Every normal pony must be tempted, at times, to spit on her hooves, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

Over brunch, Twilight Sparkle lines out her plans to turn to a life of villainy. For the most part, her friends are all for it.

It makes sense in context, honest.

Chapters (4)
E

Being an immortal Alicorn sucks when you have nopony to share it with. Fortunately Twilight finds a neat spell that'll ensure her friends live forever! All they have to do is die!

Now with a live reading by Skijarama! (thanks a bunch)

Chapters (1)
T

I'm a human, and I just woke up in this really freakin' weird place. Why the hell does everyone hate me so much?!


anonpencil helped

Narration by Lector Readings

Chapters (1)
T
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What do we truly fear in death? Can an ageless alicorn keep a promise to her beloved?

Can she remember who Rainbow Dash was?

Chapters (1)
T

In order to obtain new students for the next school year Principal Celestia entrusted Sunset Shimmer to do a project. She decides to film a documentary about Canterlot High School.

Thanks to Night_Shadow12 for the editing. You're the real hero here!

Rated T for mild language.


Featured on the popular stories list! (5/25/16)

Chapters (1)
E

It was another day for the students at Canterlot High, but to one D.J., things were going a good direction. Vinyl Scratch received an amazing pair of headphones from Octavia, and she swore the cans were god sent. Unfortunately, Principal Celestia had confiscated her new eargasm inducers, and she won't be getting them soon.

Vinyl decided to take them back.


Epilogue kindly edited by Koekelbag


Want more shorts on EQG? Check out my the other Equestria Girls one shots!


Featured on the front page on April 24, 2016!

Chapters (2)
T

Everyone knows that making friends is hard. Keeping them long enough to defeat several evil villains bent on world domination, and a few ponies who are just jerks, with nothing but the sheer power of friendship and good feelings is even harder.

Wouldn't everything be easier if you just had a gun?

Let's find out.


Coverart and the concept as a whole is from that guy named tjpones, go look at his stuff.

Chapters (4)
E
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The Cutie Mark Crusaders have gotten pretty good at helping ponies find and understand their cutie marks. They could even be considered experts on the subject.

A cutie mark that's vanished might prove a bit trickier.

Apple Bloom knows of a few things that could remove a cutie mark, but she'll have to dig deep to find the cause of this strange phenomenon, and help a poor filly get her destiny back.

Chapters (1)