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Penguins may not have lips, but they do have knees. Look it up. Also Knighty's latest mistake a story approver. PM me if you have any story related questions, or if you don't. :twilightsmile:

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#123 · 2d, 9h ago · · ·

>>2444998 I'm fine. What about you?

ChappedPenguinLips
Story Approver
#122 · 2d, 12h ago · · ·

>>2444869

Wazzup holmes

#121 · 2d, 16h ago · · ·

Sah, dude?

#120 · 2d, 23h ago · · ·

People get promoted by the Lord Almighty?:raritystarry: I didn't know that!

What a fascinating feudal system!! I think I gotta put that thing in my handy dandy notebook!

Oops:derpyderp2: I didn't mean for that to happen...

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Mar
28th
2017

Hey y'all. Hope everyone is doing well. I know I've been. I've been awful busy, but well. I have spring break in a week; I'm going to Disney and I'm super duper excited! I'll also be spending a few days in Tampa and Clearwater beach and during that entire time I won't be worrying about anything reality related... hopefully.

Before I leave next Friday I've got a couple of things I wanted to get in order with my followers, and I'd like to take a moment and answer the questions we couldn't get to during the Good HiE Podcast I was on (and I had a blast!). If anyone would like to see any of the podcast feel free to watch it here:

Warning: This is an NSFW cast, so be prepared for a lot of swearing, tasteless jokes and semi-explicit sexual content.


Writing Plans

Heartburn

Heartburn is going to be somewhat of a pleasure fic for me. It's going to be about Princess Cadance getting stuck in the Human World with a human named... I have no idea. Anyways, this fic is supposed to update biweekly with chapters from 800 - 2500 words, and it's going to serve to me like a daily does a lot of people, just I hope this fic has more substance than a lot of other dailies. I have an idea for a start and an end, but I have almost no idea what I'm doing for the chapters in between besides a story arc or two.

Really, the purpose of this fic is for me to be producing content that I enjoy writing. That's it. I'm writing this fic for me, and I really hope I have a ton of readers for it, and it gets a thousand likes and dominates the featured box, but that's not the point of this fic. It's serving as my staple fic, something to stay on top of and something I want to write.

I should start uploading after April 10th (after my Spring Break), and I'll be posting two, sometimes three chapters a week. Please hold me accountable.

Leave a Message at the Tombstone

So, around mid-December I pitched an idea to Flutterpriest where Blueblood won't leave Rarity alone so she fakes her death. Which can only turn out wonderfully for her. Anyways, him and I made a deal that I was to write this one-shot by the end of the year and post it. I almost half did that. I have a lot of the fic done, but it's not in a postable state... yet.

It's already a couple thousand words in and it should end up being about 4k, roughly. It might turn out being as much as 6k, but I doubt it; it really depends on what I end up doing with it. It is a comedy fic, and I'm planning on getting this out by April 26th. I might extend that until the 29th, but that's the plan right now.

Princesses Get Scared Too

If you've read any of my previous blogs I'm sure you've read about this briefly, but for those who haven't, it's a cutesy-fluffy one shot about a young Celestia and a really young Luna. It's Luna's birthday and she refuses to come out of her room for a reason Celestia doesn't know, so it's up to Celestia to be an amazing older sister and get her to come out. Will she? Does she have the drive? The determination? The tact-- yeah, she probably has all of that, but it's cute, and a little sad if I wrote it right.

It should end up being around 3k to 4k in length, and it should release by... I want to say April 29th, but depending on what happens with 'Leave a Message at the Tombstone' it could be as late as May 13th, only because I don't want to overwhelm myself with due dates then fail, then get upset with myself, then just give up. So, ideally, it'll be out April 29th, and if it's not, May 13th it is.

The Revenge of Fleur De Lis

This one might also sound familiar, but this is a story about Fleur De Lis becoming a model to avenge the death of her sister who was killed by the strain and the standards of the modeling industry.

I've been told this is my best idea but just a great idea in general. I've also been told this has never been done before. Naturally, I'm super duper stoked for this fic, but there are two drawbacks for it. One, I'm not sure I'm able to execute well enough to make this idea all it deserves to be. I'm sure as hell gonna try, but I'm concerned I won't be able to give this concept its justice, but like I said; I'm gonna try my best.

The second drawback for this fic is I have to write this fic or the one below it, 'Love Aflame' (its' title is subject to change, it might not, but we'll see). The Revenge of Fleur De Lis and Love Aflame, in my mind, are competing to be the story in my schedule that's updated once a wekk. Only one of them can, but I have no idea and no preference which one. More on that later, but as far as more information for the fic goes: it's going to have several chapters, I think somewhere between 17 - 25 and its' chapters are going to be like 3k to 12k long. I don't imagine many will be 12k, but at the same time I can't imagine many will be 3k, so I'm thinking a lot of the chapters will be in the 5k to 8k range, and when it's all said and done this fic will be somewhere between 70k and 140k.

Another thing to add on is this is my first long-shot. If I'm able to pull this off, it'd be absolutely amazing, but before I get too excited I know it's a lot of work in order to achieve that goal. Which also means I'll need a bit of accountability.

I exepect to have the first bunch of chapters out by anywhere between April 27th and May 19th. Starting from when i post the first couple chapters, it'll update weekly.

Unless...

Love Aflame

Love Aflame is a story that takes place soon after Luna has been banished to the moon, and now more than ever Celestia's feeling "no love." Sure, she's admired, praised, worshipped, but she doesn't feel love. She's tried her hoof at the dating game and came up dry, and it seems she's not emotionally compatible with anyone until she meets a stallion. Then, she experiences my really, really cruel way of "love." :twilightsmile:

This is a drama and a tragedy, though I've also been told this is a "dark" fic, too. Essentially, Celestia will take love in any way she gets it, even if it's not true. Better to have a synthetic version of something than not at all, type deal.

Anyhow, similarly to 'The Revenge of Fleur De Lis' I've considered making this the fic I update weekly. It'll most likely be a little shorter in chapter length as well as overall story length than Fleur De Lis, but I'm just guessing. I don't think the plot will be as strong, but that's only because the other one is so strong. I think Love Aflame will be an excellent opportunity for me to discover how good (or terrible) I really am with writing deep, sincere emotion.

This will start updating weekly just like 'The Revenge of Fluer De Lis.' And, it'll start within in the same dates/time frame.

The only thing now is which one do I do? If you're my follower, a passerby, or whatever, message me and let me know what you think. Which would you prefer to read and why?

I've got a couple more fic ideas, but really, I'm so damn tired, and I want to get this blog post out (it's been five days since I've started it) and the other fic ideas aren't that "big" or "defined."


Good HiE Podcast Questions!

Questions from Raichu

1) What do you write if at all?

Well, I've written and posted three stories which you can read if you'd like, though I wouldn't recommend any of them. If I had to recommend one I'd say read 'Trixie's Wings' but there are much more talented authors with much better stories I'd recommend over my own. Anything in my favorites (which I think is public) and anything by Georg, Skywriter, SS&E, NorristhePony, almost anyone I follow.

But! Back to what I write. I write about anything and everything. I write comedy -- or what I think is comedy -- SoL, Tragedy, a clop crackfic that one time, but my favorite has to be Drama. You can do so many things with Drama, it's great! You can lace Drama like weed. Though I wouldn't recommend you lace your weed or smoke weed at all. :rainbowlaugh: it was the example off the top of my head. You can lace weed with just about anything, and dramas you can put comedy in them, you can slap an AU tag on 'em, you can have a nice romantic subplot. Really, Drama is just versatile, like SoL is, but SoL's tend to have a lot less substance, so I prefer to write Drama.

2) What's the most drunk you've ever been?

Never been drunk or had alcohol because I'm lame. But being cool is lame too so we're all lame here.

3) What was your first date like? How'd you score it?

It went okay, I guess. I went to church, then lunch with her family. It was fun though I was in... seventh grade? So I don't really count it but that was my "first date."

How'd I score? I didn't. I have no game. :rainbowlaugh:

4) Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... do you like cupcakes?

Of course!

5) What's your favorite frosting?

Vanilla.

6) You play lol? (League of Legends.)

Nope. I've been told to, but I haven't. Just like Dark Souls, Undertale, Overwatch and anything else cool. I'm not too much of a gamer, and when I do play it's usually a sports game so nobody cares. :rainbowlaugh:

7) What's your favorite type of video games?

Sports games.

8) You may have been asked this a thousand times but I actually don't care (sorry Milk). Who are you again?

I am whoever you want me to be. Just not Johnson. Don't call me Johnson.

Questions from Listner

1. Out off all your stories, is there one that you would go back and rewrite, or even re imagine completely?

Yes, I Wish I Told You so. I hate that story, I really do. I had such a big vision for it and I did ten percent of what I'd imagine because of burnout on the idea before I really got going and I just wanted it be done with and what I did I did badly. I mean, it's got typos riddled through it, it's really, really bad.

If I ever redid it, and I might, it'd start with me removing the chapter entirely and retrying it from Starlight's perspective kind of like how ROBCakeran, THE GUY WHO WROTE MY LITTLE DASHIE, :raritywink: wrote 'I was Nothing' from Trixie's perspective.

2. What's a story idea that hasn't made it onto paper, that you wish you could just sit down and do perfectly?

I have a couple.

I have ideas that I'm 100% confident in the fact they could get 1500 to 3000 likes in this day and age of FIMfiction.

... if they were written by like SS&E or Pen Stroke or Cold in Gardez or Norris The Pony or Flutterpriest, not because they have a lot of followers but they're each spectacular writers that are capable of fully encapturing some of my spectacular ideas. And I believe in all my heart I have some amazing ideas, but I just don't have the skills to complement those ideas.

Though... if I did, I think I'd want to write this one story... that's dead in the water, no planning to it, no plans for it, between Luna, and an OC Night Tracer, who are very involved in a passionate love/hate relationship prior to Luna's banishment. There would be tons of heartbreak, and a super sad ending but one hell of a moral in the end. Crapton of symbolism, and I'm so proud of the idea since everything came naturally. Like I didn't even notice the moral until I was done with the idea in my head. I didn't notice the beautiful symbolism these characters represent and how they connect with tangible relationships in real life that all of us deal with. It's a beautiful idea that could possibly be my Magnum Opus, but I don't have the skills to write, nor the drive to until I have those skills. I'd like to try other "epics" I call them before I take a crack at this one.

3. Who's your favourite litner?

This one.

4. What got you into writing fanfiction for ponies?

I had ideas and they couldn't stay in my head. Unfortunately, most of them have died, never made to FIMfiction or are still burrowed inside my brain.

Questions From Dropbear

1. What did you have to do to get on the Good HIE podcast, considering that you don't seem to be a HIE author? Did they already run out of HIE authors, and just need another excuse to get drunk and act like knobs 'on air'?

2. Have you ever considered writing Original Fiction? What challenges/possible advantages do you see in Original Fiction compared to writing Horsewords?

I do write Original Fiction, actually, but I keep it very well-hidden from the world. :unsuresweetie:

Advantages? No one can say "that character is OOC." And if they do they can screw off. :rainbowlaugh: Free reign, pretty much.

Challenges? Finding readers then also you have to build everything from scratch and you're responsible for making sure this entire story you've built has absolutely zero holes in it.

3. Speaking of Original Fiction, remember how they were going to make a separate Original Fiction part of Fimfiction? What ever happened to that? (I only ask as Knighty has stopped returning my PM's... okay, he never answered any of them, but regardless.)

Your guess is as good as mine mon ami.

4. Does Knighty do his Fimfiction-money Cocaine lines off the hooker's back, or does he just rip open the kilo bag and chug it down like homemade sherbet?

The only way to properly snort crack is off of a hookah's back... because it rhymes.

5. Bat-pones. Yay or Nay?

Yay!

6. Your true feelings towards Twilight 2.0 (Starlight)? Does she deserve the latest attention given to her on the show, or would we be better blessed with Trixie taking over the 'main' role? I mean, come on, Starlight is actually friends with Spike for Budda's sake.

Haha, I'm not the only one who's say for Buddha's sake! :rainbowlaugh:

And... I don't have any "issues" with Starlight, but being honest as far as her being in a "main role" she's done just about jack shit. I'm sorry, but whatever Hasbro is trying to sell... I'm not buying. And if you've seen the Season Seven Trailer... She's graduating from her friendship lessons? For what? Saving Equestria? Yeah, that's a big deal, but say X is an asshole. And X hates everybody. On an unrelated note, X is a mechanic. There's this guy shooting up a bank and all X wants to do is cash his check. X Kills the shooter and is named Time's Best Mechanic. For what? Stopping some guy from shooting up a bank has nothing to do with Mechanics. Essentially... they're praising Starlight for things she didn't do or hasn't done.

7. Considering the length of your fics, do you often find it more difficult to squeeze in what you want in under 2000 words, or stretch it out into a longer one-shot fic?

It depends... Some fics are easy short, some are easy long. I prefer to write more... and the only reason mine are so short is because of laziness. Minus Trixie's Wings. That's about... eight hundred words short of what it should be but it's almost to the target amount.

8. What are your favorite fic genres to read, and why? Do you ever find yourself wanting to emulate or improve on a favorite fic?

I like to read comedies or drama or tragedy. I like Comedy because it's lighthearted and usually quick. Drama's tend to show of the writer's ability to write characters, and I like Tragedy because I love to read the storylines, arcs, plots.

9. You have one genre of fic to drive off the site completely (HIE, Clop, Romance, Dark, Anthro, anything with Spike in it that doesn't end in his death/ruining of life, ect). And I mean 'Knighty takes a digital thermobaric bomb to it' completely. Like, utterly removed. Disintegrated. Permanently. Which genre? (And don't welsh out on this, everyone has one that they want to see gone).

EQG. I just don't like EQG and it seems like one of those things that some people just milk the hell out of. Clop is at least tolerable because most clop authors are honest about why they write clop. "I do it for the money." "I do it because I'm good at it." "I do it because that's what people read." "I do it because I want to." I've had some people try to defend why they write EQG... quite poorly, and what was really off-putting... is they felt the need to defend it, which I've always found odd. Not all of them, but some do.

10. You receive an exclusive ticket to the annual Fimfiction 'Favoured Users Convention and Catch-Up' (FUCC-Up) and eagerly arrive at the seedy motel in Spain. Unfortunately, some tricky trickster spiked Knighty's pre-convention cocaine-hit with a mixture of high grade Amphetamines, PCP, Dirty Ice, and cherry cough syrup. Everything is on fire, most of the guests are already dead or dying. You spot two moderators under two separate sets of flaming debris, Meester and Eldorado. You only have time to save one before Knighty returns and 'deletes' you. Who save? Keep in mind, this answer has a high chance of affecting future story-approvals.

I choose Meester because he solved an issue for me once, has an adorable profile picture and his name is incredibly fun to say. Sorry ElD.

Questions From Uwe_Toll

Did you start the fire?

Bitch, I might have.

For the guest:

Would starlight glimmer be more nice, if she got her plot properly plowed, not gardening, once in awhile?

Ask Spike, he 'd probably know.

Would you have nice sexy time with a thing pony?

Meep!

Would you: Talk with your mouth full?

Would you: Bite the hand that feeds you?

Would you: Bite on more than you chew?

Would you: What can you do?

Dare to be stupid?

I believe this a Weird Al referenc... and yes, yes I woud.

Questions from Snuffy

1) Got any plans for the Season 7 premiere in 4 weeks?

Oh... it's in 4 weeks? Cool... Awesome... Yay... Yeah, no I've got nothing :rainbowlaugh:

2) How much alcohol do you drink before watching a new episode of MLP?

None, because as we've established, I am no fun.

3) How many innuendo jokes on average do you make per episode?

The real question is, how many don't I?

4) It's Roleplay Tuesday, and your partner goes: "Let's do Igneous Rock X Cloudy Quartz!" What is your reply?

I don't. I'm a rock. The best damn rock there ever was.

Questions from Cyber_Phazon

1.  Marry-Fuck-Kill (and killing yourself is optional) Gender bend Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Luna

Since Shining is a she I'm gonna assume he's not married to Cadance so... Marry Luna, Kill r63 Shining.

2. Would you rather: fuck a gender bended verson of Otaku, OR a Gender Bend of Flutterpriest.

Priest, because if Priest is genderbent he'd be decently THICC and would most likely have hair, unless he gets like Lukehmia or something.

3.  Who is worst pony?

Svengallop. But who doesn't hate him? So... probably Cheese Sandwich and don't tell Summer Dancer.

Questions from Vae Victis

1. Master Chapped, what are Midichlorians?

It's Heroin.

2. When does the Deus Vult?

Hell if I know.

3. Did you know... That I am actually still in your house?

That's where my food keeps going...

4. Can I be the Lex Luthor to your Superman?

/blocks

5. Explain to me why AJ is best background Pony.

Probably because she appears in the most episodes, which makes her the most relevant background pony.

6. Why is James Cryin'?

CUZ HE JUST GOT DUNKED ON

7. Do the others know what you do with the Cadence plush?

Y-y-you hush your mouth.

8. 439. That is the number. Tell me, do you wish to try and break that record

*436. And I don't go a night without thinking about it.

Question from Priest

What the fuck happened in this thread?

Shhh. No questions, just love.

Question from Damien Darkside

You fucking son of a bitch did you forget that I am in Canada? How dare you? I thought what we had was something special. I heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that I would hear it? People hear you talkin' like that gettin' everybody fired up.

Sorry.

Call me maybe?

I'm sorry Canada sucks... And maybe.

Question from Mikesnipe (Milk)

Did you have fun?

I had a blast. It sucks I didn't get to finish the questions live, but I really did have fun. Thanks to everyone on the GHiE -- with the exception of Enigma -- for having me, and I had fun singing the Lamby song, and I hope to be able to do this sometime in the future! Thanks guys! :heart:


This blog was way longer than intended to be but thanks to anyone who read or even skimmed it. It means a lot to me, and with all the writing goals I have in place... I really want to accomplish them this time, and I'm excited!

Also, I should have another blog coming out sometime in the future about a potential site project. But for now, I'm going to pass out. So, adorable pony pic, and goodnight everyone!

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