After a tragic paper cut accident leaves Twilight Sparkle dead and buried, the townsfolk of Ponyville are soon horrified to learn that even death can't put a stop to Twilight's nefarious appetite for knowledge.

Best way to learn, you ask? By eating your brains and gaining your knowledge, of course.

Due to a typo on her permit to build a new barn, and the meddling of a recalcitrant bureaucrat, Applejack is stuck running a bar, at least until Mayor Mare gets back to town. So sit down and have a drink in Ponyville's least likely watering hole!

We trained her.
We taught her.
We raised her to godhood.
She brought us down to earth.

Sequel can be found here: Memoirs in Ink and Blood

King Sombra survived his defeat, but just. By the time he returned to form, Twilight became the newest princess of Equestria and the Crystal Empire was restored to its former glory.

He cannot take over Equestria the same way he tried before, but he has a card up his sleeve. Twilight won't see it coming, and Sombra might gain a powerful ally in the process.

And it will all begin...with a book.

Edits on Chapter 1 done with the help of TempesttheDragnix.

Major props to InuHoshi-to-DarkPen for letting me use this. That artist is really good.

No important political meetings to attend? Check! No letters to answer? Check! A magical and child-safe gift for Flurry Heart that she's sure to love? Check!

Her schedule was clear. Shining and Cadence were off on vacation. She'd prepared all her materials. Twilight Sparkle was more than ready to spend a fun-filled weekend babysitting her favorite niece.

But she wasn't prepared for King Sombra's return. Nopony could prepare to be trapped with him inside a storybook of fairy tales.

And nopony's ever ready for an unhappy ending...

Proofread by: Alicornpriest

Winner of November 2017 NaPoWriMo: Goal of 50k smashed!

Now Featured on Equestria Daily - First hit the Featured Box on April 28th!

A human living in Canterlot castle is given to Queen Chrysalis as part of peace negotiations between Equestria and the Hive. Celestia knew she shouldn't have let Luna finish the negotiations herself.

Cover art by jalm on Derpibooru.

Featured on 4/22/20. Thanks guys!

Now with audio readings by StraightToThePointStudio! Go check them out.
The Audio Reading Playlist

Anon is tired of the hectic day-to-day of living amongst the ponyfolk and decides to purchase some land in the Everfree to have some peace and quiet all by his lonesome. How much land you ask? All of it

Join me in watching as Anon sorts out the bits and bobs of his newfound assets. It is sure to be a ride, and definitely not a smooth one.

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

Takes place starting shortly after the conclusion of Slice of Life.

Featured for Nine Consecutive days from 6-20-21 to 6-29-21!

Check out the audiobook by Straighttothepoint!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhMoe4RfYz0

Due to a mix-up in the pantry, the jasmine tea that Princess Celestia orders for consumption with her breakfast turns out to be made out of coca leaf, instead.

A period of overwhelming bureaucratic efficiency, aggressive platonic affection, and mild insanity follows.

EDIT: Featured (briefly) 6/13/17! Thank you all!
EDIT: Featured at #1 6/14/17! WOW! Awesome, thank you all!

Celestia's dinner parties have one very simple rule: don't boop the Princess. Anthony has regretfully forgotten that rule.

Now, with Luna's aid, he is on the run for his life.

The epic conclusion to the "Anon-thony" trilogy.

Princess Celestia always thought she knew how her kingdom worked. The Unicorns used magic specialized to their jobs. Pegasi flew in the sky and handled the weather. And Earth ponies... Earth ponies... uhhmmm...
Huh. Maybe Princess Celestia didn't know everything about her ponies after all.
Princess Celestia realized this after Applejack came to speak with her about a tax unfair to Earth pony farmers. It was during their conversation that Celestia realized she needed help.
Huh, isn't that odd Princess Celestia has had to leave on emergency business, leaving Luna to raise and set the sun? And hey, is that a new pony living and working at Sweet Apple Acres? I think her name is Sunshine Meadow. Surely, it's just a coincidence. Surely.