//------------------------------// // Honesty // Story: What if God Were One of Us? // by Foals Errand //------------------------------// Princess Celestia sat upon the dais in her throne room, humming under her breath as she read through the notes her assistant had just hoofed over to her. These had been recorded earlier by the stenographer. A fairly easy day; no real big conflicts. Though I am going to need to make a note here to do a check in on that dispute over who invented that new searching spell. She made a few notes in the margins and smiled, hoofing the completed paperwork to her assistant, who rolled the parchment and placed them in her saddle bag. “I’ll file these away and head home with your leave now, Your Highness?” Raven bowed her head as she levitated her saddle bag over her back. Celestia nodded with a smile. “Of course. I will see you in the morning, Raven.” She watched as the dark unicorn mare trotted from the hall, head held high. Celestia moved her neck back and forth, allowing it to crack. She closed her eyes with a happy sigh. It was times like these when Celestia missed being able to neigh;  it would have been much more comforting than a simple sigh. Oh well. Now I can have a small snack, head to my office, tackle some paperwork and be done before joining Luna for dinner! The sound of hooves on  the floor caused her to open her eyes. Upon seeing one of her trusted solar guards she smiled, encouraging him to speak. "Your Highness, Lady Applejack Apple from Ponyville has requested an audience with you." An audience? How odd. Applejack knows that I would be happy to speak with her in a more pleasant setting. Hopefully I can convince her that we can move to my sitting room to discuss whatever is bothering her. "Of course. Allow her to enter immediately. No guards will be needed for this meeting. If I can’t trust the Element of Honesty, then who can I trust?" The solar guard nodded and left the hall as quickly as he entered. A few moments later Applejack walked in slowly, and while her stetson was still upon her head, there was something different about the straight-to-the-point pony whom Celestia considered a friend. Her mane has been brushed and her coat curried. Her hooves are clean. I doubt she was even in the field today. Which means... Celestia sighed under her breath. This isn’t a friendly visit; Applejack has something important on her mind. "Am I to assume this is not just an ordinary visit, then?” Celestia smiled softly, trying to reassure the nervous pony who bowed her head in reverence. Someday... someday, at very least, I’m going to get Twilight and her friends to treat me like a normal pony. "Begging your pardon, your majesty," the earth pony began, carefully speaking in a calm clear voice, her usual country twang subdued as she spoke to one of the supreme rulers of her land. "I don't want to sound out of place, but the new transportation and usage taxes are an unfair burden dropped right on the back of Earth Ponies. Now I’m making a formal protest for redress.” Celestia frowned in confusion. Not fair? Celestia prided herself on her fairness and reasonable judgment. “While I have never claimed to be beyond error, I must say that I’m not quite sure I understand the grounds of your grievance, Applejack. As I recall, the new tolls and transport duties are based on a ‘per use’ basis and are intended to ensure the proper maintenance of Equestria’s roads and bridges. Surely a per use basis is fair?”   "Begging your pardon, Princess Celestia, but no. Simply put, the law taxes the volume of goods shipped. For example: a small cart is charged two bits on a bridge. A wagon is charged ten, regardless of whether the wagon is even empty or full. A load of industrial grade diamonds pays the same fee as a load of my apples, or even if I’m returning home afterward. Clearly the end return on my apples is going to be a lot less. “That’s the thing; agriculture is a bulk industry. It just isn’t profitable to sell in small amounts like finished goods. So, in effect, any tax which rates only on volume rather than the value of goods penalizes farmers. Farmers; whom I might add, are almost entirely Earth Ponies. You'll get a couple of pegasi growing flowers here and there and a couple of unicorns experimenting with growing magic, but that’s the exception, not the rule. Even if it didn’t hit farmers as hard as it does, think about it: Pegasi handle the shipment of smaller loads completely in circumvention of that same infrastructure. I’m sure the laws look fine on paper, here in Canterlot, but I don’t run my farm on paper. And from where I’m standing; in the real world, this just doesn’t work. We farmers only have two choices: One is to see the laws changed, and the other is to raise our prices. Imagine how many ponies would be hurt if that happened! Blueblood would still get his apple quiche but higher food prices would hit every family in Equestria.” Celestia listened in silence. Applejack had always shown a knack for being both respectful and brutally honest, as her element might suggest; and sometimes even somewhat cheeky, as an old letter of hers during ‘Cider Season’ had proved. But she had never spoken so bluntly to the princess, and her honesty hit a nerve. Not one of anger, not at all. But one of… shame. For the Element of Honesty spoke the full truth.  The real world. Something so obvious when she tells it from that perspective, and yet it didn’t even occur to me. It should have. And yet from these walls in Canterlot, I never saw it. It dawned on Celestia that she was woefully unaware of the lives of her subjects. Especially earth ponies. Over the many years that she had been teaching, Celestia had taken on fillies and colts of both Unicorn and Pegasi races; all of them talented. They all went on to serve Equestria in their own way. Celestia smiled as she thought back, then frowned. Wait, that’s not right... That couldn’t be right! She swallowed hard as she realized the awful truth. Thousands of years... Hundreds of students and not one of them was an earth pony… I am an Alicorn; I embody all three races equally, yet I know nothing about my Earth Pony heritage… "I guess I had best be going, then." Applejack nodded her head towards Celestia, having said her peace. She tilted her hat and turned to leave. Celestia chewed her lip as an idea hit her as hard, as if she had just been bucked. "Please wait, Applejack. You were right to bring this to my attention and it has forced me to realize something.” Here goes... Celestia sighed. “I do need help. I need it desperately. I’m ashamed to admit that. Applejack, I’m ashamed to admit that I have never considered how things must be for an earth pony and if I am to be one-hundred percent honest with you, as I know you’d want me to be, I have to admit to you that I-I think I may…” Celestia shook her head, not sure exactly what she was feeling. “Please, Applejack, help me to understand what it means to be an earth pony?” Now it was Applejack's turn to be stunned into silence. As she pondered, she slowly nodded in consideration. “I’ll be happy to show you.” She raised a hoof. “But there’s a problem: I can tell you all day long… But until you’ve lived this way? You can’t really understand what I’m telling you deep inside, where it counts.” Celestia considered for several moments before she rose from her throne and walked down the dias. She smiled down at Applejack a bit nervously before sitting down on her haunches. “Well, I am unsure when or if I’d have the chance to live as you do, but please humor me. Tell me what you can?” She felt her stomach gurgle and blushed. “Ahem, I was about to have a snack. Would you like to join me before my first lesson?” “I have to admit that I’m just a little hungry myself, so yes, Princess. I think I would.” “Wonderful!” Celestia got up. “Follow me? My sitting room is much more comfortable to eat in than this throne room.” She hesitated, “Besides, you are my fr-my student’s dearest friend and an Element of Harmony. You deserve and have earned the best I can offer.” Applejack noted the careful phrasing of Celestia’s statement and smiled inwardly. She supposed it was a necessary part of Celestia’s duties to maintain a careful separation, but in Applejack’s world, a pony knew her friends. This was one of the most basic lessons she hoped Celestia would learn. Celestia led Applejack to a small cozy looking room, which held a fireplace and several cushions. In another time, she and Twilight spent time together in this room every day after her lessons. Celestia’s eyes went to the unused chessboard and she smiled. “Applejack, have you ever played chess?” “On occasion. My brother taught me but I’m still not up to his level of play, I’m afraid.” Celestia nodded as she levitated the board between them, setting it up. “Do you mind playing black?” “Sticking to type, Your Highness?” AJ teased just in the slightest. “I’ve no problem with that. I usually play white, but I think this’ll work better. Your opening, Princess. Smoke before fire.” Celestia considered and moved a pawn forth. “Oh, while we are in my sitting room, please call me Celestia?” She smiled as she levitated her crown off her head and onto the floor. “I’ll try. My granny would tear a strip off my hide if she heard I was referring to you quite so intimately, but I owe you the courtesy… Celestia.” Celestia smiled. “Thank you, Applejack. How do sandwiches and tea sound for a snack?” She watched as Applejack carefully bit down on her knight and moved it. How is she able to do that? Theres not even a sign of a bite mark. “That sounds just fine.” Applejack nodded, setting her stetson on the ground beside her in a position that mirrored Celestia’s own crown. Celestia levitated a bell over to her and rang it twice. The door opened and Celestia smiled at the mare who entered the room. “Hello, Sunflower. Would you go to the kitchen and fetch my guest and myself a platter of daisy sandwiches and a pot of jasmine tea?” The green unicorn bowed her head. “Of course, Your Highness. I'll return promptly!” She closed the door and hurried to obey. Celestia sighed and turned back to the chess board. For several moments they played in silence. Is this a comfortable silence? Or am I just so nervous I’m not able to say anything? She stared at the board in puzzlement. Somehow, Celestia, the greatest chess master in history, was losing. “Check.” Celestia groaned internally and moved her king, sacrificing her second bishop. Her ear flicked at the sound of knocking. “Enter.” A unicorn carried a platter and tea pot in her magic, setting everything on a small table. She bowed and walked out without a sound. Celestia took a sandwich in her magic and took a bite as Applejack grabbed one in her hooves as she continued to study the board. Celestia watched as Applejack ate, marveling at how she used her hooves so dexterously, losing track of her plan until she looked down to see her king trapped. Not in check, but no place to go. With no choice she used her right fore hoof and tipped the piece over on its side. “I surrender. Good game, Applejack.” “You too, Celestia. Now I suppose we should start on our first lesson?” Applejack picked up the cup of tea in her hooves and took a sip. Her shoulders relaxed. “Darn good tea.” Celestia nodded, summoning parchment and a quill, ready to take notes. Oh my, I must look like a giant white version of Twilight! With a nervous smile she set the parchment down. She glanced at Applejack, who had a lifted eyebrow at Celestia. After a few moments she shook her head. "Right," Applejack  began, clearing her throat. "Without magic or wings, earth ponies live on our sweat and wits.You should know how much respect I have for Twilight. As for Rainbow Dash, she can be trying, but she’s tops in her field. But the point is that the ground doesn’t bend to the skies or to magic. By the sweat on our backs and our hooves is how our farms yield.” Applejack paused and then raised a hoof. “But for all that is the part that unicorns and pegasi most have trouble understanding. Even after all that, an earth pony needs patience: The land gives its bounty on its terms alone. You can till it, water it, tend it, but you can’t ever rush it.” Celestia listened as her ear flicked while Applejack described earth pony magic in such simple yet concise terms. I already feel lost. I’ve heard all of this before, so I should be able to get this. What else can I do? "Is there anything else you would like to hear about today? It's a brief lesson, I know, but..." Applejack began fiddling with her stetson. When she came to speak with the Princess about the new tax, she never expected to be sitting in her parlor playing chess and giving her a lesson on earth ponies. Mac ain’t gonna believe what happened when I get back to the farm! Celestia stared at the floor. This isn’t working. I could listen to her or to any earth pony lecture me for hours and still feel as lost as I am now. But what else can I do? Celestia sighed. As she was about to speak up to thank Applejack for her help, but also to request no more lessons, it suddenly hit her. There is something I can do! No wonder I didn’t think of it sooner.... He’s only been redeemed a few months, after all! “Applejack, thank you for the lesson, but I just don’t think it will be enough. I think... no, I know that for me to understand earth ponies, I’m going to need to be one.” Applejack stared up at Celestia as she levitated her crown back onto her head and rang a bell. “Uh, Ma’am?” Celestia ignored the very confused pony as a solar guard entered. “Honed Edge, please escort Lady Applejack to the train station and have a thestral guard wake my sister. Tell them I’d like to speak to her in my quarters and that it is urgent.” She turned to Applejack. “I apologize that our meeting must be cut short, but something urgent has come up.” Applejack mutely nodded, not certain what had just happened as the pegasi guard led her to train station. Not long after arriving, she sat and stared out the window as the train pulled away. Well, at least it can’t get any weirder than that...