"Gather round, I got a bit of a story to tell. It don't got much to do with princesses, dragons and the like- not even much of a happily ever after. But things worked themselves out all the same."

"This is the tale of a little filly, no older than the ones you see scurrying about town- futures as bright as their smiles."

"The Kid ain't have it so lucky."

"Her classmates, even some of her friends would poke fun at her. Some even called her a chicken.

Children can be cruel like that.

One day, Kid got some news, started believing all that hogwash. Broke her little heart something fierce. But between you and me, Kid had more guts than any chicken I seen."

"I should know, because I was there..."

(Narrated in the voice of Ruck from Bastion.)

A cold, calculating assassin is teleported to the magical land of Equestria due to the unstable powers of the siren, Lilith. Will our awkward, haiku-obsessed hero be able to adapt to the Magic of Friendship, or will he simply end up murdering everything in sight like he's used to? Let's hope its the former.
Only one thing is truly known, this was a challenge he was NOT prepared for!

Borderlands/MLP crossover. Challenge Accepted.

Cover art by steptrool on DeviantArt

Pinkie Pie challenges her friends to play a game in which they take turns being evil, with the rest of the players tasked to thwart the evil schemes. The stakes are high, and all of Ponyville is caught in the middle...

While inviting everypony in Ponyville to a block party, Pinkie Pie encounters the frustrating and socially destructive enigma that is Siri.

Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.

Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.

But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.

Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.

Contains lots of Elder Scrolls stuff. If you don't have at least heavy knowledge of the game series, you'll only get confused. But that might happen either way, won't it?

Why just chaos when you can add madness to the mix?
Maybe you're worried about the two's many tricks?

One's insane, the other's a loon!
Which one is which? We won't find out soon.

How will the world handle this mess, this calamity?
Not even the Elements can contain this amity!

Luckily for you, but rather unfortunate for all,
This meeting soon turns into a brawl.

Chaos and madness, an explosive mix,
Sheogorath and Discord, the gods of tricks.

Skyrim guard travels the magical land of Equestria, making friends and foes, having adventures and lecturing about proper citizen behavior.

But how will our hero fare against the native ponies with such a short repertoire of phrases? Will he help the land or cause its downfall? Should we follow?

Of course we should!

***

Also, all comments saying anything about anything get a prize!

Most ponies assume that something is wrong with Ditzy Do's eyes. Theories range from a head injury to a genetic disorder to muscle damage behind her eye. The crueler folk suggest she's just retarded. Nicer ponies say it's just a party trick she never got tired of.

They're all wrong. They're all very, very wrong.

I discovered the truth one day in conversation with her. One eye would always look at me, and the other would wander. At least, I thought it was wandering. So while we were talking, I followed it. Goddess in heaven I wish I had not. Never follow the other eye. Ever. Because Ditzy Do's eyes work fine.

She's just watching something. That... thing that's always in the corner of our eyes. And if she looks at you with both eyes?

Goddess save you.

----

Preread by BrastaAAura17, Chase Cosmicwing and dreamingnoctis. Cover art also by dreamingnoctis. Guy's a bro.

Until I take your place, I am just a white space. I was nothing, but now I am you.

Reading by S Ninja

Sometimes, all we need are a few stats to shed some light on a subject.