The first hints of dawn are appearing on the horizon when I gently shut and lock the front door, several fresh scratches and bruises upon my body. I trot to my bedroom, where a sleepy voice inquires "Honey?"
"I'm back," I say softly, and she springs up out of bed to greet me.
"Oh, thank the sisters, I was getting worried!" She casts a small glow spell with her horn. "So, did you find what was making those bumping... is that blood on you, Moonshine?"
I chuckle nervously, wincing when she touches a sore with her hoof. "Yes, and yes. You know how something's been snatching the chickens from their coop?" I ask.
"Yes," she says, apprehensive.
Confidently, I continue, "Well, that Timberwolf won't be bothering us no more."
A smile lights up her face in the faint glow of her spell. "Oh Moonie, I'm so proud of you!" She leans in for a surprisingly passionate kiss, and I soak up her warmth, leaving her breathless.
She grins. "I'm glad I married such a studly earth pony. I love you Moonshine."
"I know," I say, "I can tell."
Suddenly, a hall lamp flickers to life, and three small figures leap toward me. "Daddy, you're back!" they squeal.
I sit down on my haunches, embracing my son and daughters, flinching slightly at the contact. "Yes kids, daddy fought a Timberwolf. But now I'm back."
"Tell us about it, daddy!" they plea, but Sandy shoos them away.
"Alright, back to bed you little monsters. Your father is probably worn out. He can tell us all about it in the morning."
"Awwww," they whine collectively as they trot back to bed. I smile, cheered by their enthusiasm.
After they're gone, I plant another kiss on my wife's horn. " 'Kay Sandy, I'm going to rinse off, then hopefully I can catch a few more hours of sleep." I turn toward the restroom.
Ten minutes later, I slip under the covers, wrapping my legs around the warmth of my companion.
"Thanks for protecting us, Hon," she whispers. Then she adds, almost a habitual afterthought, "I love you."
"I love you too," I whisper back, and the funny thing is, she believes me.
It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but less stupid . . . I love it.
~The lizardman is insane and proud of it
Sandy, it's the blood of your husband.
You might not get what I mean, but that's okay…
4217887
Chilling...
Unsetting and chilling... That's what I love about these kind of stories....
I guess it wasn't a Timber wolf...
Edit:
wait a fuckin second...
"It's nothing until it captures you..."
"Blank, empty space..."
"Dramatic irony?"
Look out boys, we, literally got ourselves a case of existential deamons terrorizing ponies and filling a void by taking lives.
4218441 MLP: FiM has plenty of fridge horror/nightmare fuel if you dig deep enough.
4218006 The shishkabob sees all.
I knew this wasn't going to be any more pleasant than the main part, but I read it anyway.
Damn you and your skill.
You kiddin' me? If someone just killed a wolf that can revive itself, I'd want to hear that story. I guess ponies are stupid.
Spookiness level has reached "Forever Faithful" levels... And "Faithful" was a creepy fanfic.*shudder, shudder*
4219560 sandy didn't say they wouldn't hear the story, just that her "husband" would probably rather retell it in the morning after a little sleep. This seems reasonable enough thinking to me, but let me know if you disagree.
This story is difficult to click.
idea: ponies are technically immortal. the changelings are "blank-slate clones" made to replace ponies (who are probably already clones) when they die. they have the power to copy their original's memories, and alter the memories of anyone else who knew the original. somehow, the changelings gained sentience, (or is it sapience? I forget.) probably through a mutation that resulted in the Queen. they say Equestria is theirs, they attack, etc., you know the rest.
4279721 oh dear me. You could be a changing for all you know. Maybe you were replaced in your sleep.
You have made me want to break the fourth wall, rack a shell, and murder a fictional character.
Damn good job, brother.
4290334 I'd say that was the reaction I was going for. Ah shit I'm late for tutoring BYE!
Geeeaahhhhhh
Good story!
4316878 Thanks!
4343681
Author already took the comment to heart. That Epilogue didn't exist when I made that comment, and I must say, it improves the end result immensely.
4346915
2 things: one, Your original complaint with this story is that it would've been better as an original fiction piece. How did adding the epilogue change this?
Two: if you PM me your Skype contact, I would love help brainstorming how to make it an original fiction piece--it could work, but here are some significant obstacles to overcome.
4347487
Sure.
My original complaint was also that there was not nearly enough story to make the execution work. The epilogue, however, was the concept rewritten in a nice little 400 word piece.
It's almost like the story worked better when you refurbished the 1,000 word original execution into a smaller, punchier and more story driven piece...
4452269 Wow, thank you sir. That's quite high praise.
4346915 4347487
Just to be a contrarian, I rather thought the epilogue watered it down unnecessarily. I actually wrote my previous comment before even remembering there was one. Give the choice, I'd remove it.
It's a funny old world.
-Scott
4452299
4347837 Funny how two reviewers thought the epilogue had the opposite effect. Funny world we live in, but it'd be boring if we all thought the same way.
On Trial: White Space
I really, really like the idea of the changeling being a better version of the pony it's replacing, but overall I felt like the writing didn't hold up the gimmick, nor the gimmick the concept. Still, you got a green thumb out of me; I appreciate writers pushing the boundaries of possibility.
4455863 thank you for your honesty. I confess I spent a good minute trying to figure out why you were making a "green thumb" gardening reference, before I realized you had up voted it. :derp: And while I certainly won't disavow InquisitorM's words of praise, I agree with you that, being so short, this piece struggles to stand up to its lofty intentions. Then again, I wrote it in about two hours, once again reminding me that sometimes good things happen when I stop worrying and just write.
4455981
I recommend continuing to do so. Not writing is the number one plague of writers, I mean that in all seriousness.
4456136 But again, the funny thing is that I just completely ignored the 'gimmick'. I also note that a few people have mentioned its relatively weak 'horror' aspect, and it confuses me because I'm not sure why people are looking for that at all. The lack of horror is kinda why it interested me.
4457222
It's got no Dark tag (or any tag at all), why would anyone be looking for horror? It's got some fridge horror, at least.
4458107 It has a dark tag; you just can't see it.
Good work. I think the real meat of the story is in the first chapter, and the epilogue not so much, it's been done before. I like being in the head of the monster, exploring their motivation. Anyway, good short fic. Greenthumbed.
4547261 thanks, person with the cool royal griffon profile picture.
4547356 I got it from this awesome comic:
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/I+just+don+t+know+what+went+wrong.+found+not+mine_c3157b_3743117.jpg
4547481 Brilliant. If you like Derpy, you might like my newest comedy, Derpy Writes Erotic Poetry; Twilight Gets to Deal With It
4604282 Glad you liked it. Now, you should expect a changeling at your house...
4547577 Just a question... what happens in the end of it all?
4604291 I would welcome it and hug it and it wouldn't have to replace me at all. It would be my friend and i would fight for the Queen with all my might! BECAUSE FUCK YEA!
4604294 (From my userpage:)
The sequel to White Space is coming July 6th, and it's HEAVY.
Changeling Your Point of View
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/182643.png?1397493500
4604332 Oh shit i am sorry i mustn't have noticed.
Welp, that was just about the creepiest changeling story I've ever read; the Fridge Horror is strong in this one. Well done!
With that said, I don't think the gimmick was very necessary for this story. I liked the lack of title, but making all the text invisible unless you change Fimfiction's brightness hurts the story more than it helps, I think.
Still, great story! I very much enjoyed it.
4604353 No need to apologize.
Oh, I forgot you were the author of this work. I wish I'd remembered when I met you at Everfree. I liked it, Trampy!
4669337 Thanks!
4669374
I think I even mentioned this at one of the panels. I'm sure you were in the audience for it.
4669463 Which panels were you on? Believe it or not, I didn't actually run sound for every writing panel. Still, what an honor to be mentioned!
4669601
Literary Merit, Making the Big Time, and How to Write Comedy.
4690839 I'm so glad you enjoyed it! You'll be happy to know that two sequels are coming out tomorrow! I'm a bit confused what you are talking about with mirrors though. Have a great day!
4690873
At Everfree, you showed me a song, and how it lined up with Changelings. I tried to show you another song, Mirrors by Aviators. Mobile internet couldn't get us the lyrics, so you might not have seen it. But yeah. I told you then I'd read this, and I surprisingly didn't forget.