• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
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GaPJaxie


It's fanfiction all the way down.

Sequels1

  • TDaring Do
    Bioshock meets MLP in this psychological thriller, where Celestia's new faithful student, Siren Song, must discover the truth behind the city beneath the waves. Arriving in pursuit of Twilight, Siren finds herself trapped in a city of horrors.
    GaPJaxie · 141k words  ·  305  12 · 3.5k views
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Bioshock meets MLP in this psychological thriller, where Celestia's new faithful student, Siren Song, must discover the truth behind the city beneath the waves.

Beautiful, gifted, and faithful student of the Princess of the Sun, Siren Song has very nearly everything a pony could want. Sometimes though, in the twilight hours, Siren can see the sadness in her mentor's eyes. Once, ponies whisper, the Princess had another student named Twilight Sparkle, but she left Equestria, never to return. The pony who has a perfect life just needs one more thing—to convince Twilight Sparkle to come home so the Princess will smile again. But when Siren arrives in pursuit of Twilight, she soon finds herself trapped in a city of horrors, with only its monstrous denizens for help.

Now with a TV Tropes page!

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 753 )

This is really good.

Everything feels terrified and disoriented and it's great. You get a favorite after just one chapter.

So. this is just a pony version of the bioshock universe with some changes?

2199757

Not at all! Future chapters will reveal more, but the City of Vision is not Rapture. After all, a shoot-em-up would hardly make for an interesting tale. There are many interesting places and ponies left for Siren to discover that have no counterpart in Bioshock. Keep reading and you'll get to discover them too. :raritywink:

I was sent here by Pav Feira. And I do indeed intend to read this fic soon.
I should note, however, that I was never a huge System Shock 3: Steampunk Edition... i mean... Bioshock... Fan. The story was pretty decent, but the gameplay lacked something for me. Hopefully I'll have some constructive things to say once I dive in.

2199976

Yeah, the gameplay was pretty wanting. I actually spent a long time with the game before writing this fic, trying to settle on what aspects of the game I wanted to keep for the crossover, and what I wanted to cut. One of my main observations is that the fun of firefights actually decreases as you get more plasmids and weapons because they start feeling less powerful. When your only weapon is a wrench, you can feel the weight, when you first get the revolver, you can feel it kick in your hand. When you're a death-dealing fire spitting machine though, it all feels so cartoony. I've endeavored to use that understanding to inform Vision's combat scenes. In short, less is more.

2199625

Aww, thanks! It's a collaborative effort, but, I do feel proud of how my writing has improved. :pinkiesmile:

Moar!

Sorry for my bad English there. What I mean to say is would you kindly update your story?

2200641

You desire... MOAR?
Oh you poor fellow, you have no idea how much moar there is :rainbowlaugh:

There will be updates, updates to glut you!

2203321

Ponies do not swear! :unsuresweetie:

2200020 Thief! Why u steal my O.C. :twilightangry2:

2215485

Any resemblance between Siren Song, Faithful Student of Princess Celestia and other ponies, living or dead, is purely coincidental. :rainbowwild:

Fantastic work, definitely living up to my expectations.

Fantastic. Wonderfully articulate, complex, and simply a great read.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

2222752

Next update is this Saturday, the coming 9th. Look forward to weekly updates. :twilightsmile:

I can see flaming rivers of it runing down her face, her sides.

running*?

2227790

:fluttercry:

All my editing was for nothing! NOTHING!

(By which I of course mean "Corrected, thank you!")

2229195
Welcome.

I like your Tattoo idea by the way, seems more interesting then Plasmids, ya know? Just look at the bugger and see what he's packin.

This story is impressive. The charecture has depth but very little is revealed about her history. I can not wait for this to update.

2236801

The rejected original title of the fic was "Regret." Discarded because of the number of other fics that use that title or some variant therein.

2236829 I didn't ask that, but I am greatly thankful for the info regardless.

I'm in for the mystery surrounding Twilight Sparkle.
Will Siren Song ever bring her back?
Will Celestia's depression ever lift?
Find out next time on dragonball Z-dangit! not again!

This is going to be one wild ride!

I just recently finished playing the first Bioshock so this story oozes with goodness!:heart:

Would you kindly go sit on the bed

Instant distrust of Envy, get.

Ah. Three chapters, three mental breakdowns.

Siren is not having a good day.

And whatever this "Bioshock" is, it sounds badass.

This just keeps getting better and better. You give a really good sense of how Siren Song isn't nearly as nice as she likes to think she is, and the way her skill in social situations is juxtaposed with her screaming panic at anything involving fighting or death is very nicely done. There are some turns of phrase here, especially your descriptions, that are really beautiful. I especially liked the descriptions of the shoppers' frame of mind, and the city vista at the end. I guess I'm just trying to say to keep up the good work, author dude, and I'll keep on reading.

2277467

Blame EQD and it's lack-of-update-ness.

Or even better. Link the story to a few friends! :twilightsmile:

Oh Siren... you are going to get so many good ponies killed.

2280984

What makes you say that? :fluttershysad:

I was a little apprehensive about this story at first, especially when the first physical threat involved a rape scare (I know the story is tagged Dark, I just find rape in any fiction to be hugely problematic and rarely handled well), but I'm glad I gave it another shot. This chapter (Golden Palm) sold me on Siren and the story as a whole so hard. It's incredibly rare to see a protagonist be a master of social manipulation. Usually it's the antagonists who are busy running circles of schemes around the main characters, who then spend the entire story just playing catch-up. Of course, it's also good that you don't make her *perfect* at it, but I really like your subversion of the trope.

I can even point to the exact paragraph that sold me on her:
"I wish I could talk to myself. It’s silly, maybe a little narcissistic, but I have such a wonderful voice. I’m commanding and authoritative and charismatic—it makes me feel like I could do anything. Green wouldn’t like that though. She would think I was wasting her time. I’ll just have to pull myself together without it."
I love characters who appreciate their strengths, even if it obscures sight of their flaws. That, and having talking to herself be such an important personal tic is thematically perfect.
Plus this: "Yeah, but I’m awesome at being full of it." Masterstroke!

Judgmental much? Green wants to transcend her limitations and that makes her rotten and evil?

2281037

Because she has shown a talent for manipulating people, but consistenly fails to grasp just how dangerous the place is. This means she will likely pursuade someone into doing something they don't want to do without fully grasping just how much risk she asking them to take.

2286412

That section was hilarious for me to write, because I myself am a transhumanist. Siren on the other hand, is very much part of the "Perversion of the natural order!" camp. I had a lot of fun with her outrage. :twilightsmile:

Not going to lie I think Twilight is going to play a big part in this put I don't know how.

I have a feeling the reasons for Vision's creation and the history of the riots is far more complicated than either side understands. I don't see Celestia as a tyrant, but I also don't see her being perfect. Being in the position of absolute executive authority means your mistakes are much more far reaching and serious. Of course the same is true when you build a city under water and refuse to let those who want to leave do so. Of course this is the kind of story meant to illustrate that and the mistakes of Vision drive the plot.

Say, this looks familiar...

This reminds me of a fic called Harmony.

Not an entirely original concept, but well done, anyway!

2316372

Heh heh. Guilty. And my other fic, IFIWT, bears a striking resemblance to another fic called Perfect for Me. It is substantively different though, in story, characters, and style. I just like the concept. :pinkiehappy:

2316505 'Tis a good concept, indeed. In fact, i've also read Perfect for Me, so perhaps I'll take a look at your take on things!

2316116
Wait and see, wait and see~

2200020

I will give the story a read, seems interesting...

Especially since your comment made me finally realize what I am looking for in a story. It made me understand why I especially loved Sweetie's Mansion. Because when you have limited weapons, that by themselves are weak, you can just feel the combat... I have to thank you.

2316116
I'm totally with you about Celestia. I don't believe Celestia is perfect either, but the Tyrant! meme is taking that way too far.

We almost certainly don't have the whole story yet, but based on what we know so far and some educated guessing, I'm still siding with Celestia. Yeah, it's shitty that she killed or banished Sine Rider or what have you, but burning down your farm during a magical famine is sentencing many more ponies to starve to death. That's almost cartoonish villainy.

And lo! As was promised. Midweek update!

2321731
It's not self-serving at all to comment on your own updates in your own comment thread :duck:

yay:yay: a new chapter!


Very nice.

Also
:fluttershysad:

That was mean.

can anyone tell me what he was inplying with the Pegasus towards the end of the chapter? Did she have a sex change? or like a wing enhancement, I don't know. If it's something super obvious I'll fell like a total dumb ass:derpytongue2:

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