The world has changed in one hundred thousand years. The magic that once shaped life itself has faded into myth and legend. An age of industry has set upon the flightless and hornless ponies who now populate the world. Great metropolises of steel and brick rise from the republics and monarchies that dot the planet. In the seaside city of Gracia, sparkling capital of the Teton Republic, a young museum worker named Starlight makes her living in this brave new world, oblivious to the magical heritage that dwells inside her and the ponies around her.
That is, until one day when an earthquake in the west prompts Starlight and her new friends to embark on an adventure to the desert city of Sundown. It is here that an event not seen in tens of eons has occurred: a unicorn has been born.
~
Edited by JustAnotherTimeLord & presentperfect
Art Design by HyperPonyGBX5 & rambled
Produced by DocDelray
Interesting...
Instant like. Instant favorite. Commenting after reading...
Oh yes. Oh, yes. Actually, no, I can't really say that yet- but I'll be able to in a few chapters, won't I? I can tell. This is definitely looking good, so far.
Hrm. Why do I have the feeling that something is blocking the ponies' magic and that it affects cutie marks as well as the other two types of pony? Oh well, I suppose us readers will eventually find out.
2272816
You got it, dj.
sailormoonnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/my_little_pony_crystal_heart-300x168.jpeg
Alright, I'm really liking this. It's reminding me quite a bit of the old Larry Niven "The Magic Goes Away" stories. The far side of them that is, where the magic starts to come back.
Great story so far and an interesting concept.
Looking forward for more.
Desert city -> Philomena = "City of Phoenix"? I see what you did there.
This is looking to be a good story. I can't wait for more.
Good concept: Check.
Mary-Sue: Nope.
Good writing: Check.
Going to read more: Bloody oath
Keep it up!
So far, I am... intrigued. And therefore will be continuing to read!
This has a lot of potential.
One tib-bit strikes at me though. The ponies developed too.... humanly. Shops and cars and the likes I can understand. But computers? Eh...
2301048
The human development part is kind of the point, as I set it as the kind of world that a sentient species would develop without magic. And, to be fair, just as the car is the logical conclusion to transportation problems, a computer would be the logical conclusion to data storage and mathematical figuring problems. The fact that we've had simple computers since the middle ages can attest to that. Why wouldn't the ponies develop something along those lines? Though the internet part was thrown in there just for fun.
That's some odd amnesia Osgood has going on.
I wonder what sort of Trinkets we're talking about. The Crystal Heart was one of them, so maybe the Elements too? The Alicorn Amulet?
Lots of mysteries so far, and not a lot of answers. Can't wait to find out what's going on.
...
Sooo...is magic forbidden now or what? Those IS are sure interested in all those artifacts and anyone related to them...
Can't wait to see more.
choose your titles wisely. some one may mistake it for another planet, and attempt to finish what the covenant started.
2337085
Hi Mr. Deathninja! Make sure you comment on Out of Touch, Freeze Frame, and The World At Large too!
2337088
You amuse me.
I may let you live, if only to watch you squirm...
2337113
You're pretty funny yourself!
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on second thought i might feed you to my scorpions.
What I want to know is why the unicorns and pegasi died out. And what the buck happened to Celestia....Luna....and Cadence?
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Which is what the characters will find out through the story.
Interesting that the IS is jumping on everypony that might somehow find out the truth. But I still want to know what happened to the princesses!!!
So many Star Wars references, with a little Firefly thrown in for good measure I do believe.
2388070 I know right. As soon as he said that and I read Horizon Cantina, I had this playing in my head.
As for the other bits,
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I freaking love Jayne's little hat on his pony self.
2388399 I know, so every one else, don't dis the hat. His mother made that for him!
A pony walks down the street in a hat like that, ponies know he's not afraid anything.
Your attention to all the little details is really effective in this. I felt pretty immersed in the environment and well grounded in the story, although there are times when the story tries to fit a little too much into each sentence. Nothing that's a deal breaker, though, but something you might want to be aware of.
ponies are a delightful way to explore it.
Anyway, this is an excellent first chapter and I'm glad to see this isn't one of those stories you had to let go.
Also, I'm liking the whole "fantastical world without magic" thing you got going on. I see we're both fans of the same theme
2393770
solocitizen commented on Reach?
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And glad you like the world I've set up! You can tell why I was so drawn to Awakening now, I imagine. I do love the worldbuilding of ponies without magic and how they tackle day-to-day problems. And yes, thank you for pointing out some errors; I was recently rejected from Equestria Daily and now have 3 editors combing over the story for things like you mentioned. Hope you like the story to come.
2421287 I did. It's just that I'm not that good at expressing my feelings for something except for pretty generic stuff, so I mostly don't say it at all.
I'm actually reading the rest of the story right now.
City called Philomena..............wonder who that's named after..............
That child is currently the most powerful pony on the planet. I can't wait till the IS tries to separate him from his mother.....
And bringing her father in to it..................did the IS get rid of the princesses?
2457049
To put it in a non-spoilery way, the IS knows about as much about what happened to the princesses as you do.
2457100 Okay.............just hurry up and tell us what happened!!!!
They're going to flip out if that kid starts self levitating and walking through walls like we've seen Pumpkin Cake do as a month old.
Really?
2494024
Yes? No? I mean, that's not really a statement.
2494033 I suppose it was a bit unspecific. I rarely like scenes from one thing jammed into another thing, such as scenes from Firefly put into a story about multicolored ponies. I was already straining at the previous references from Malcom. Lot's of people are fine with them, I just personally dislike them.
2494067
I put it in there because, hey, why not have a little fun with the similarities? They drop off later, should you continue reading.
2494071 I was planning to, I'm just tired so my reaction was a bit more than the usual silent cringing. You're a good author, you just had some elements that I didn't like.
2494077
Alright, glad to hear to hear it. I got another downvote right around the time you commented, so I was afraid I had managed to really piss you off.
2494081 Nope, no downvote here. Though your comment did make me realize that I hadn't yet upvoted.
I'm trying to work out which Firefly characters they are.
Veronica seems to be a bit of Kaylee, but I'm not quite sure for Peter. Mal is, well, that one's obvious!
Damn, son...stallion can shoot!
Have read Chapter 1 and 2 and enjoying it so far. Somehow, when reading on my Nexus 7, I missed the Prologue, so I've gone back and am reading it on my MP3. XD Anyways, very interesting so far; why is he the one to be targeted? Is it because his theory turned out to be correct and they need to remove him to hide it?
Mark this down as "Caught Up" for now. Oh, wait, that's my job.
XD Like others have said... Star Wars much? XD Still, it's hard to, you know, get INTO this story. It's going pretty slow. Hard for me to care about the characters. I mean, I'm going to keep reading, but...
2519248
Well, I hope you're able to enjoy it as it goes on. I have enjoyed your comments thus far today.
2457049 (Replying to you just because I can, lol.)
I see wat u did thar.
(At least, assuming it was an intention Final Fantasy IX reference. And even if it wasn't, I DON'T CARE! 8D )
Still not deleted/canceled, I see...
Please don't delete it
Lets put it together.
Sometime way back something happened that leaded to the failing of magic. That lead to the death of all the races that were strongly connected to magic. But somehow some earth ponis managed to survive put were put back (civilisation wise) to a blank new start.
Now your story starts with the forcfull come back of magic (in form of a little foal). From there on we follow Veronica as she tries to make sens to all the bullshit that the IS does (overaeger grovermant agencys are kind of an overused plot point if you ask me but so far it works nicely).
Waiting for more.
While off to a slightly rocky start, this is certainly a far better prologue than the former for the overall tone of the story.
If one pony is 3ft/0.91m tall:
· 1 Petra is roughly 2ft/0.61m.
· Shaft is roughly 20,000ft/6096m deep.
· Cavern is roughly 60ft/18.29m tall.