• Member Since 25th Aug, 2011
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Big-Mac-115


T

The year is 2756, roughly 200 years following the human victory against the Covenant Empire in the Great Interstellar War. We know for a fact that the Covenant, while they were massively corrupted, they were NOT by any means crushed altogether. Over the past two centuries, our UNSC Navy fleet has been assigning unmanned scout craft to and around the homeworlds of the major species of the Covenant Empire, and - while they appear to be living individually for the majority - new intelligence and scans of major systems still in "Covenant controlled" space suggest an ominous and inescapable truth: the alien menace has managed to regroup covertly, and they have massed a fleet FAR larger than anything our galaxy has ever seen before. We would assume that their most likely motive is vengeance, however other pieces of intel suggest that their intended target is not in fact Earth - or any of her colonies within UNSC controlled regions of space - but another, far more distant planet, lying on the outstretches of the Milky Way galaxy. Although their intentions are otherwise unknown, we cannot take any chances and allow the Covenant to advance to this new planet. A medium fleet of UNSC warships has been assigned a scout - and if all goes well - interception mission of this new planet, hopefully cutting off the Covenant in time to stop whatever plan they may have.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 90 )

Holy shit.... I can already tell this is going to be great. :pinkiehappy: :twilightsheepish: :raritystarry: :twilightsmile: :eeyup: :rainbowdetermined2: :derpytongue2:

You certainly have a nice prologue there, and I await more from you. However, I think I'll wait till you release more chapters before I rate your story. Keep up the good work. :yay:

OMG MOOOARRRR!!!!!!!!

looks good so far. certainly a great prologue but i'll wait on rating until chapter 1 comes out. like anon up there.

I now have a raging erection that won't go down unless I get the next part. C'mon, help me out here man. :pinkiegasp:

...That's new. You, sir, are the first I've seen that has the story in a farther future, and has the UNSC NOT make more SPARTANs... I really don't know if I like that or not...

There will be SPARTANs latter though... right? If not neccecarrily S4.

It would be nice if there were no Spartans in this story, just to make it interesting.

7594
Dude there are no spartans. The guy in the story is an ODST :facehoof:

Hmmmmmm..... I dunno, SHOULD there be Spartans......? :trollestia:

I guess you all will just have to wait and see......... :raritywink:

8022

How about they find MC on Equestria?


:pinkiehappy:

Pretty please? With Fluttershy on top? :fluttershysad:

Pony Spartans.
Can you say B.I.G.M.A.C.?

8022
There can't be any Spartans because they're all DEAD. The only one left is 117 Master Chief and there is still Halo 4 to determine what happens to said Spartan. You simply can't have any Spartans unless you would alter the prologue saying there was a new Spartan III project or something. Otherwise, if you are going to include a Spartan or Spartans PLEASE don't make it 117! :ajbemused:

10453

Don't worry, you'll see what I mean when I say there may or may not be Spartans in it..... And it won't be John 117, if it's any consolation. :derpytongue2:

Keep in mind that the ODSTs are practically semi-Spartans now as it stands, so even if the UNSC does initiate a new Spartan project, it wouldn't be ALL that much superior to the ODSTs..... Or would they be? :rainbowhuh:

OOOHHHH I love being so vague about these things with you guys. I find it quite entertaining. :twilightsmile:

10576
Well Spartans do have the advantage of actually being raised as war machines. All the augmentations make them faster, smarter and stronger than your average marine or ODST. I suppose with higher technology levels they would be even tougher than before.
And we must not forget the Elites. I'm not sure whether they went home or stuck around with the humans.

10576
10798
Oh wait. I just remembered...
You know in Halo: Reach how at the last part Jun (the sniper) gets in a pelican to take Cortana to the Pillar of Autumn? Well what happened to him? Every other Noble Team member dies during the game except for Jun. Unless somepony can prove me wrong...

Woa, it felt quite halo'ish when i read it. i just wonder, how will this crossover work? well i guess il wait for chapter 1 and see.:derpytongue2:

MnM

8035 I agree. That would be interesting.

:pinkiehappy:

I demand a continuation!

really, this is so, incredibly promising.

you are bookmarked.

Oh are the Covenant ever in for a surprise... :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

OH YEAH! :yay:
I thought Zecora was killed from the impact of an ODST pod but I never thought it would be caused by the covenant!
This is turning out to be one awesome fic :rainbowdetermined2:

MnM

The platoon of Covenant charge into Ponyville... only to be met by 10 Scorpion Tanks.

Covenant - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

...maybe it's just 'cause I've only played about thirty minutes of Halo in my entire life, but I have NO idea what this is talking about... :rainbowhuh:

Dude, what the fuck? Killing Zecora before she's even had a chance to show up? That's just not cool. Really. She deserves more respect than that. :facehoof:

If you can't respect characters as they go out then I'm going to drop this.
God, people just keep treating death as a shock tool these days.

You know what? I haven't said enough about this and it has happened too often. Mr. BIG MAC, I'm sorry that this is going to happen to you here on your page when it isn't solely YOUR problem, but I've kept this bottled up long enough. Believe me, while I hate what you've done here with Zecora, most of your fic is pretty well written. But I have something to say about character death to ALL authors out there that I really REALLY want to be heard, so if you don't mind, I really feel I should explain something here. Because from what I've seen here, I really think that it's time it should be addressed.

Death is not the sort of thing that should really be taken particularly lightly. Death is not a small event by any stretch of the imagination... At least not for a character. a TRUE character anyway. If it's just a mook, bystander, nameless dude in the background or something then it's somewhat more flexible. SOMEWHAT. It still should be treated with gravity but it doesn't need too much time or effort devoted to it.

But the death of a character... a named, developed character... in Fanfiction or comics or even your own personal story. People need to learn that Death is not just something that you can use willy nilly on a character to "up the ante" or "add to the drama" or "make the reader sad." Death is not a tool. It is a serious plot event that needs to be treated as such.

If you have a character and you kill him/her off then you cannot use that character again. Like ever. (well, unless it's comics. then give it a few years and they'll come back to life somehow, but honestly, comics cheat and dying and being brought back to life is actually kinda disrespectful in itself and really quite cheap if you ask me, but that's a discussion for another time). The thing is that you need to realize that when a character dies, that's it. Death is a full cessation of mental processes. A commencement of bodily decomposition and a full destruction of brain function. When you are dead, you are GONE. and you are not coming back.

Such an event should be treated with the sort of weight that deserves, right? A life has just been snuffed out. All the beautiful thoughts that a brain can think are gone and all of the beautiful mechanics of the body have failed and are rotting. An event like this has real gravity.

So why do so many authors treat death like it can be just shrugged off?

I see it all too often. In Fanfiction in particular. I see it a lot in original stories too, but that's got a little more wiggle room.

What this is is just plain disrespect. It's disrespectful to the characters. It's disrespectful to the original creators. And it's disrespectful to the readers.

You see, when you build a character, you are by and large creating a person. Your own little being in their own world. When you name and develop a character, they take on a life of their own. When an author snuffs out a life without any thought or tribute and does it in a way that seems uncaring, it's a sign of a lousy writer, at least on a character level, and probably more levels than just that.

Killing a character to get a story moving is a sign that the writer is weak. They have no other way to add tension or drama or suspense so they say "Here's a character we all love dying! Can you see that the situation is serious now?!" And in doing something like that, they usually neglect to show any understanding or emotion or love for the character. A character... a life... fictional though it may be, someone that people love and people put effort into shaping... has been snuffed out and the author doesn't care. He doesn't expect us to care. He just wants to get the plot moving and show "OMG BAD STUFFS IS HAPPENINGZ." Of course, don't bother to put any EFFORT into it. Don't bother to build up suspense or dread in some other way. Just make a character die. That'll show the audience that things are bad!

And it tends to piss readers off, and with good reason. Chances are they liked this character. Having the character lowered to nothing more than a plot device... someone who might as well not have a name or even a face tends to be angering. Someone you've enjoyed seeing in the past just being blown to pieces in a sad attempt to get some emotional response out of a reader or get a plot moving without any effort... it's really REALLY infuriating.

Now... I'm not saying that a character should never die, but if an author is going to kill a character, they need to be sure to kill a character off RIGHT. They need to know the gravity of the event they put in motion in the eyes of the reader. They need to prove that they know what they're doing and they know how we feel about the character, and that they know how we'll feel to see them go.

They can do this in a number of ways.

For one thing, they can have the character die in a way that proves that the author has an understanding of who the character was. They have them die in a manner that is suitable and heroic for their character. For example, Supergirl's death in Crisis on Infinite Earths. Here was a girl who, against all odds would stand up against the ultimate evil in the universe and do everything she could to beat it down. In an effort to save lives she stood up against the villain and would not back down. What did she do? She punched him. And then she punched him again. And again. And again. And again. The author proved just how heroic she was... just how much she was willing to sacrifice... just how much she cared about the people around her in just a short action sequence before she was finally taken down. That is a heroic death. That is a respectful death.

Of course, I'm not saying that all deaths need to have hollywood style heroics to them. Of course not. But there are other things you can do too. For example, you can simply spend your time developing the character and showing that you know... you REALLY know who it is that you're killing off. A good example is the Comedian from Watchmen. He died right at the start of the book (proving that it is also possible to use a death to get a plot rolling) but the rest of the book kept looking back on just who he was and just how he operated... the kind of person he was. It showed that Alan Moore knew about the character he was writing. He knew who he was and he wasn't going to hold back showing you just who he was. This is a much less action filled, but still viable way to show someone's death.

Or, if you like, you can do it in a purely emotional way. Show just how much of an impact this death has... how much you understand that this death has an impact, through the emotions of other characters. A good example would be Gwen Stacy's death from the Spiderman comics. After Gwen Stacy died after her neck broke when she fell off the GW Bridge, Spidey and Mary Jane were absolutely distraught. They remained distraught for years. This was a HUGE moment of emotion and character development for Peter Parker and Mary Jane and they felt the emotional loss of Gwen in every fibre of their being for a long LONG time (Until One More Day and... well... I'm not sure WHAT is going through their heads now...). And it kept flashing back to show how kind... how pure... how wonderful Gwen was. THis is a good, emotional way to show what you've lost.

There. Three good ways. Heroic, Intellectual, and Emotional. If somebody MUST kill off a character, this is the sort of way it should be done. And furthermore, it should really only be done if there is ABSOLUTELY no other choice. Character death is something that should never be just brushed over. It should really have a really good reason behind it. For example, if I may cite Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man from DC comics who died in the event 52. Ralph Dibny was a character who had gone through the absolute most horrific tragedies in the DC universe. His wife was murdered by someone he thought was one of his best friends and then he lost his powers. But then he got one chance... one final chance to make a difference and he took it. He grabbed the bull by the horns and stopped an evil sorcerer named Felix Faust from utterly buttf*cking the whole world. and in the process, he finally was put at peace and reunited in the afterlife with his wife, Sue. Completing a final, powerful character arc... That's the sort of reason you put a character to his death. When it makes a truly good... powerful... emotional story.

Or, you can treat it like the death of the Wasp in Ultimate Marvel. Cannibalized by the Blob just to show that "Bad shit's going down."

Authors? Which would you rather have? It really isn't that hard a decision.

Respect characters, authors. Respect readers. Respect creators. Respect YOURSELF. Really think about the story you want to write. Wouldn't it be so much better if you treated death with the weight death carries in real life? Don't you think that would make us feel so much more, when you prove that this character... this good character went out in a way that was really right for them and that they will be remembered and honored? Don't just leave them lying in a ditch. All that'll do is make readers angry.

Mr. BIG MAC... admittedly you've done this a fair bit better than a lot of authors out there. You had the soldiers recognize her and mourn her for a short time, this is true... but ask yourself, did you really have to do this? Was there really no other way that you could prove that bad shit was going down? You already had Eminence in the forest. Was there no reason that he couldn't have died instead? It doesn't seem like you gave Zecora much more tribute than you would have given him (and I honestly think she deserves more attention and emotion than a barely named, undeveloped OC) so why couldn't he have died instead? Was there really no way to up the ante other than killing an established, beloved character? You could have done ANYTHING else. Had there be a forest fire? Had there be an enormous crater the size of New Jersey a ways into the forest? Or if you had to put Zecora in there are a ton of ways to add to the drama. Have her seriously wounded. Have them bring her back to the Ponyville hospital burned, beaten and half mad? Even if she was mortally wounded and would die soon on camera she could get in some description of what she saw or a warning or a few last heroic words or SOME aspect of character to prove you knew what you were getting rid of. Pretty much ANYTHING would have been better than just having her die offscreen... messily no less... with little to no attention paid.

Anyway... if anyone out there has read all of this, thank you for sitting through this whole little essay. I probably put way more effort into it than any fanfiction deserves but... I love a good story more than pretty much anything. I'm of the mind that there are few things in this world better than a well told story. And when I keep seeing authors... ANY author mind you, not just BIG MAC... treating death as little more than a basic plot motivator, it really gets me angry, and I've been keeping this in for a long time now.

So I hope that I've reached at least one person and haven't come across as too crazy or fanatical. Because poorly written death is really something that needs to stop.

Pretty good writing, but with a few noticeable spelling errors (i.e., 'moral' should be spelled morale). There also wasn't too much in the way of 'action' this chapter, which is completely understandable given that it is the first - meaning it's essentially exposition. However, I am rather disappointed in the death of Zecora, and while 12173 has a point, just because the readers didn't watch her die in this story, doesn't mean she didn't go out with an appropriate bang. Don't misconstrue what I say, I am perfectly fine with the death of a character in the manner you have chosen. I just happen to be a Zecora fan, and feel she doesn't get enough proper screen time (fanfiction in general). Hehe. But I digress. Keep up the writing, I look forward to more, and from one dream-weaver to another, good luck and have fun. :eeyup:

ho shit Baked Bads you wrote alot, great point to, i hate when fanfic kill off characters in shit ways, to me that kills the story and ruins the mood

12173
12182
12184

I am replying mostly to the Anonymous at the top, but I suppose it goes without saying that the other two comments below it deserve acknowledgment as well.

I understand what you are saying, and although I must disagree with most of your statement up to the part where you said I could have killed off Eminence (which, now that I think about it, what was I thinking?), I share your feelings; there are certain things that I see in writing that vex me as well. Also, I only used the death of Zecora to demonstrate the brutality and mercilessness of the Covenant, and I admit, I suppose it could have been demonstrated in a better way.

I haven't the time to write a lengthy response, but I will say this: I don't plan on having a main, developed character die in the story for a LONG time, probably several chapters from now. However, you brought up good ideas. I am now highly considering re-writing a large portion of the second-to-last portion of this, and possibly extending it into Chapter Two, to give Zecora more proper respect (I doubly admit that it could and SHOULD have been done better.

That said, I think I will have it done by Friday. So you should check back in over the weekend, and that goes for all.

Other than this, ahem, (minor) incident, I think you'll end up enjoying the rest of the story. As I said, you are right in more ways than one, I should have led Zecora to a better and more well-rounded end, but I think I may have struck an Idea of how to fix this, while still making it an end that everyone can enjoy. :twilightsmile:

Problem with the Covies.
They all lived on High Charity right?
And High Charity was taken over by the Flood.
All remaining Covenant were on the ships that attacked Earth, which then flew to the Ark.
But then, the Flood came to the Ark, took out a lot of the humans and Covenant.
Arby and MC stayed behind and blew up the Ark, killing everything that remained on it.
Flood, Covenant, everything. At least the way the Halo 3 ending puts it, all species of Covenant, except the Elites, goes extinct.

10453

Actually, according to some of the novels, there a few Spartans left (inc the MC) last one I read they were with Dr. Halsey. :scootangel:

12257

Yes, but remember: the Covenant live separately on their own homeworlds, even though they were all part of the overall Covenant Empire. The Jiralhanae (Brutes) lived on their own planet, but sadly the name of said planet was never mentioned in the Halo series, even in the books. The Unggoy (Grunts) originally came from the planet Balaho, which was destroyed by a collapse of its society prior to their introduction to the Covenant. However, in Halo: The Cole Protocol, it specifically mentions that the Unggoy had a large populace on the Jackal homeworld, and that the Jackals willingly shared it with them toward the end of the Covenant's destruction. So it is safe to assume that the aforementioned symbiotic relationship continued. The name of the Kig-Yar (Jackal) home planet also remains unmentioned, but it is said that they established colonies on asteroids near Chu'ot, which was originally a colony used by the Insurrectionists until it was also invaded by the Covenant. So, between the Kig-Yar and Unggoy, they have a large, sustainable home planet, along with several colonies on the asteroid system of Chu-ot (which is a very large asteroid system), so they have plenty of room to go around. The San 'Shyuum (Prophets) had their planet of Janjur Qom, but that was destroyed shortly following the destruction of the Halo rings, so yes, you are right about them being extinct. The Mglalekgolo (Hunters) originated from the planet of Te, and since they are actually not capable of creating their own armor or technology, they were only brought into the Covenant because of their strength and combat ability. As far as the Halo series says, they still live on Te, but without any way to leave, so they may or may not be part of the New Covenant. The Yanme'e (Drones) originated from Palamok, but are now found on pretty much every surviving planet of the Old Covenant's empire, due to their usefulness and skills with mechanics. And the Huragok (Engineers)....... Well, their homeworld was also destroyed, :fluttercry: but they found some new allies after the war..... IF you happen to remember who said allies are... :raritywink:

Also, if you read the wiki... "While the Covenant's leadership was either lost during the Flood infection of High Charity or during the Battle of Installation 00, the Covenant continues to exist even after the conclusion of the war. In exactly what capacity it continues to operate in remains unknown...." This is an ominous enough statement enough as it is, which is actually where I got the idea for this. I am actually greatly surprised no-one ever tried to write a fanfiction about the New Covenant before. :twilightsmile:

12173 dude your an idiot death shouldnt be taking that seriously fo multiple reasons 1st its aa much a part of life as sex or birth if authors didnt do stuff like this some storys would be boring and so on

12373

I feel the exact same way. Listen, Baked Bads, I would have said it a nicer way, but this is kinda exactly how I feel about this. I understand that you don't like the whole thing about a main character dying at the beginning, but the story isn't neccessariy about you, and while you did bring up a good point, this is MY writing style, MY story, and MY fanfiction. I'm sorry is it doesn't please you to the fullest. Hell, if you don't like it, you don't HAVE to read it, but don't base your rating on JUST the end of the first chapter. I know you gave it a 0.5, and that's actually a bit pathetic; you haven't even seen the GOOD parts yet. Think of this as that opening scene in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Count Duku dies in a pretty fast, non-heroic way, and the movie was still phenomenal (and I'm not saying Zecora was a villain, but the basic concept is the same).

I guess I just don't have the same feelings about death as you. It's like lunarassassin said; it's a part of life, and it happens all the time. Don't get your panties in a wad just because it happens to one of your favorite characters.

But I dunno. You DID have a good idea with keeping Zecora alive for awhile, and although I'm still not going to disclose how I should do it, I'm highly considering it. I'm not sure.

What do you guys think? Should Zecora live for awhile longer, instead having Eminence die in her place, and Zecora have a major role even after she dies? Or should I keep it like it is? Lemme know either in the comments or private messaging. I'm not going to decide until I get a decent number of people to vote, so go ahead and do so. I can guarantee one thing though: if Zecora lives, and she ends up having the somewhat-major role that I said she would, you're going to enjoy it either way. :twilightsmile:

Zecora is dead.
Even that Bleeding-heart critic up at the top should realize that in War, people die. Lots of people. Bullets do not care if they are somebody's friend, they don't pause in reverence for life, they just proceed on their merry way through the skull they are pointed at, ripping their designated soft target to pieces in an instant.
Zecora died because a series of plasma bolts ripped through her midsection, tearing her in half.
WHY?
Because dead ponies tell no tales. Just because a character could play a significant role in something will not keep them alive.
I am training to join the military. If I step off the plane when I ship somewhere, and I get shot, guess what?
I am dead. No amount of character, no number of friends I have, nothing is going to change that.
So it is in life, so it is in fiction.

You sir, are reading a fiction that involves war. You will find little chapters devoted to the other characters bitching and moaning about how their friend died because some cruel author absolutely loves to torment bleeding-heart readers, and kills off his characters wantonly. You may, however, find chapters about characters planning to avenge their fallen friend, and either succeeding, or dying themselves in the process.
Ad yet, the story goes on.

So I ask you, what should the soldiers have done when they found Zecora? Should they have taken their moment of reverence further, into breaking down in tears and all that good shit? Or maybe holding a little funeral there in the woods?
Or should they have done what they did, carrying out their duty and moving onward?

Let me tell you, while the Marines never leave men behind, they would not do much good if they stopped to whine and bitch and cry every time one of their brothers-in-arms fell. They are much better served shooting the hell back while whining and bitching and crying, and then later mourning when the time is right.

So my point is: Quit bitching, or I may kill you.

12373

Dude. You're an idiot. You make assumptions about what I'm saying and you don't even read my comment or think about what I'm saying in it. Also, birth and sex are serious parts of life as well. And just for the record, your grammar is atrocious. Fail troll is fail.

12381

Okay. Dude. Don't accuse me of anything. I didn't even rate it at all before. But okay, you want my rating? It's a 3. The story isn't bad in itself, But I didn't feel properly introduced to the concepts of the Halo Universe and points taken off for Zecora. (Also I didn't go see Revenge of the Sith. I gave up on the Star Wars prequels long before it came out)

I understand that death is a part of life, and it's a part of life that must be faced. It's a part of life as much as sex and birth, but the thing is... honestly? these are big events too. Well, maybe not so much sex, but birth is a relatively big event. For the family, for the infant, it's the sort of thing that changes everything. Maybe not on a massive scale but on a family scale certainly. And there are all sorts of complications and things that can go wrong that can make it a huge deal, at least for a family. Death is similar. The loss of a person or a character is a big thing among the friends and loved ones, and it's certainly the BIGGEST thing for the one dying. When we have a character driven universe like MLP, this is the sort of thing that has and should have a lot of impact.

Truthfully, I do feel that she should be left alive longer, especially since she seems one of the most likely candidates of the known ponies that could understand any form of combat given where she lives and the mysteriousness of her homeland, as well as her obvious athleticism seen through those meditation techniques... but that's just me.

12401

Boy. I hope the vast majority of our military isn't like you. Otherwise it's no wonder they keep getting blown up. A bunch of mouth-breathing brutes that don't even read comments before they start to accusing people making intelligent points about literature bitches.

Unlike you do to me, I shall not wish harm upon you, good sir, but try to explain my point in smaller words so the likes of you shall understand it.

When a guy dies in battle then you're right. There's no time to stop and cry. You need to keep shooting the bad guys in the face. But after the battle then there is going to be a funeral where the dead guy's family and friends will be sad and think about all the times they had with the dead guy when he was still alive. They will remember the dead guy as the person he was.

So far, this story has not given us anything like this, nor has it suggested there will be anything like this and it doesn't look like it is interested in making it this way, unless the author decides to revise Zecora's death. Zecora died offscreen and the soldiers basically just shrugged. This is not how a character should die or how other characters should react.

Also, there was nobody intending to avenge Zecora, just so you know. That would also be an okay way to pay tribute to her character.

And it does not even take all that much to kill off a character right. I gave three ways she could have gone out. You seem to be stuck on the emotional one. He could have gone for intellectual or heroic and it would have been just as good.

My point? Smart up and read my comment before you go off on a bender about how "WRONG AND BITCHY AND BABYISH" I am.

12458

"But after the battle then there is going to be a funeral where the dead guy's family and friends will be sad and think about all the times they had with the dead guy when he was still alive. They will remember the dead guy as the person he was.

So far, this story has not given us anything like this, nor has it suggested there will be anything like this and it doesn't look like it is interested in making it this way, unless the author decides to revise Zecora's death."

Precisely MY point; the battle is NOT over. It has all but just begun. And don't make assumptions. Imagine you were one of the guards. Would YOU have stopped right there and given somepony you barely knew existed and had never met before a massive funeral, or would you have been worried for the rest of the ponies from suffering the same fate, and returned to report the incident? Personally, I would have stayed there longer and waited for the killer to rear their ugly head again so I could give them a piece of my mind, but that wouldn't be the right, or smart, thing to do. My characters did what was right: they put their focus on protecting everyone else, knowing that there was little more they could have done for Zecora. They promised to get a team out to recover the body, and conduct further investigation on it, and there would be a formal funeral after. But it's like you said. The battlefield is NOT the place for mourning or remembrances, the battlefield is the place for kicking ass and making the enemy regret taking the life of those you mourn.

And also, I'm not trying to be offensive or discourage you any further, but if you haven't played any of the Halo games enough to understand the prologue, the rest of this fiction is only going to be even more difficult to comprehend. But by all means, stick around for the rest of the story. Reading that massive article you posted, I think you're going to like the way some of the other characters go out (well, not necessarily 'like', but not dislike as much. And not very many more of the characters die, but the ones that do, and the way that it happens, will be more suspenseful and most likely more suited for YOUR particular taste than this scene). And I've made my decision; I am not changing the plot from the way it is now based on what you say.

Stop your complaining about death.
12458
While you have a point with your original comment it was too fucking long so don't 'flame on' at me because I only read about half. But just stop.

12497
I am enjoying your fiction immensely and have a hard time wondering why it's not being featured. I don't find fault with the fact that Zecora was killed, as this is exactly what a brute scouting party does. But as ruthless as they are, they are still precise and swift warriors. The level of damage is way over the top, to both the area and Zecora's body. Unless she was intentionally ripped apart (like brutes have been seen doing in game) plasma alone does not have enough kinetic energy to tear through flesh. Instead it burns and cooks part of the body to kill.
So you could imagine Zecora chilling in her home when two huge beasts break down the door and either shoot her with plasma rifles or physically bash her. It would have been done quietly. But then what if she dodged the attack and got out? The she would be fired upon as she runs for her life, plasma whizzing past her to hit the trees, scorching the plants but not causing them to catch alight instantly. Then she would be hit. Zecora would either die quickly from the first shot, be bashed to death, shot more, or torn apart. The choice is yours but consider that the aim of a scout is to find out information concerning an area without being discovered by the enemy.
Something else i thought I would bring up is that in the military, when you've been called to appear before the princess to serve, you would be dressed and ready! In the defense force there is no waiting around. You get it done quickly and efficiently, and that elite squad wouldn't have taken an hour before flying off to find that colt. They would have take, ten-twenty minutes. How do i know this? I'm an air force cadet, and we had 50 minutes to wake up, shower, get dressed. It took me half that and I was the first outside, AND i'm just a recruit. The corporals and other higher ranks were ready before everyone.
So hopefully you can use this to make soldiers less like video game characters. Unless that's what you want... then go ahead. :pinkiecrazy:

12556

Hmm, you do have a point there. Although I was only using the destruction and death of Zecora to, once again, demonstrate the ruthlessness and destructive capability of the Covenant, you are indeed correct; a scouting party of any kind wouldn't create such a mess. Perhaps I should edit it a tad so that the younger brute is a bit too enthusiastic about killing his first victim, and therefore goes overboard with it.......? 'Twould make more sense. I think I will do it.

But I also want to point out another thing: believe me, I know the military is tough, and I plan on keeping it that way, at least on the UNSC's behalf. I've planned to make the Solar Imperial Army slightly more lenient and not quite as heavy-handed as the UNSC Core (Let's face it: Equestria is a place based around the concept of peace, friendship, and all those goodie-goodie things. It would only make sense if their military was easier-going as well). I plan on making the UNSC a hard, tough, and incredibly disciplined unit, just like our military would be today............... If that makes sense. :applejackunsure:

12367

Oh. Sorry, all my knowledge of the Halo series comes from the games.....

12596
I know. It makes sense that Equestrian forces be a little more flexible, and easy going.

I also understand your idea that the younger brute be more brutish. But keep in mind that brutes use their incredible strength a lot of the time so if he were to go overboard it would be with him smashing through Zecora's home and not necessarily using his plasma rifle/brute spiker/whatever.

12670
Most of my knowledge comes from the games too. Except for Dr. Halsey's journal which came with the limited edition of Halo: Reach.

12670
12683

It doesn't relly matter if your knowledge comes from the game or otherwise; it'l all be undetstood soon enough. And really, only a Halo fanatic of such caliber as myself would even know most of that information by heart, anyways. :rainbowlaugh:

12458

Nice little Ad Hominum fallacy you started out with, that shows that you have style.
Unfortunately, your grasp of the English language fails to impress:
''A bunch of mouth-breathing brutes that don't even read comments before they start to accusing people making intelligent points about literature bitches.''
Not only do you start out with a poor attempt to attack my person, but you also finish off your first paragraph with a sentence fragment. In addition, I do not even know what to make of the addition of the last word. Literature bitches? Is this some sort of fad involving strapping books to dogs that I have not heard of yet?

''Unlike you do to me, I shall not wish harm upon you, good sir, but try to explain my point in smaller words so the likes of you shall understand it.''
Haha, yet ANOTHER ad hominum fallacy, in the very next paragraph! So far, you are 2 for 2 when it comes to logical fallacies, and believe me, I feel one-hundred percent of your condescension weighing down on me every time you do it. How could I not, with your obviously superior intellect staring me down from my computer screen?
In addition, you spoke in your first paragraph of not reading comments, and yet you say that I wished harm upon you with my last sentence when with the most cursory of readings you would have understood that I inserted that last bit purely for ironic effect, bearing in mind the subject being discussed.

Now, for me to address the next two paragraphs would be completely redundant since my good friend Mac has already done just that, so I shall skip to the last sentence, which is in effect a summary of the first two:
''My point? Smart up and read my comment before you go off on a bender about how "WRONG AND BITCHY AND BABYISH" I am.''
More ad hominum, yada yada, commentary of this paragraph is now done.

In short, your overt use of the ad hominum tactic as a red herring(Another fallacy!) disappoints me, and your condescension proves tiresome.But the one thing that you wrote that really elicits a response from me?
"Otherwise it's no wonder they keep getting blown up."
Not only is that utterly callous, but downright disrespectful to the dead, and to the military.

A lot of people pull the "I don't agree with your opinion, but I will fight to the death your right to have it'' card when they are faced with something like this. How many of them do you think would really do it? How many train every day just so that they can?
Now, seeing as I am going to be giving up a lot of my rights soon, and writing a blank check to the U.S.A. for ''Up to and including my life,'' for the sole purpose of fighting for your rights, I can tell you that you can take your opinion, and your logical fallacies, and shove them RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.

13775

It's basically just him ranting about how he hates the fact that Zecora died, and he says that I should change it and make it better. I did read it all, though (a waste of time).

This has been more another one of those 'get-to-know-your characters' chapters, but don't worry; the action will come soon enough. After all, now we know just how much pain these soldiers are capable of dishing out. :rainbowkiss:

MnM

I can't wait to see the ODSTs kick some ass.

*Ahem* Where are the new recruit of the Spartans? Like the Mark 3s.
They weren't spartan 2 tough, but they are indeed mass produced spartans.
I doubt ONI would just throw the Spartan project out the window, considering they SAVED THE ENTIRE DAMN
GALAXY, AKA HALO.

"LEEROOOYYY, JEEENKINNNSSS!!!" :rainbowlaugh:

14138
Awwwwww, I was gonna say that :rainbowwild:

Fantastic job BIG MAC. I am loving this fic :pinkiehappy:

Amazing job man this is definitely one of my most anticipated fics! You really quick on the chapter release too which is awesome, especially since I didn't see anything wrong with it (except for one case when you used the word predecessor instead of successor when describing the dropship, sorry I'm kinda a grammar nazi :P Excellent job with everything though.

10453
that is wrong, there are spartans other than MC alive, the latest book Glasslands: coming out on the 25th, is focused on the other surviving spartans and everything that goes on between Halo 3 and 4. do some research someime... >.>

:ajsmug:

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