• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen January 19th




In response to the Equine threat, this council of nations has chosen to activate the XCOM project.

We have located the alien's homeworld, known as 'Equestria'. Your mission is to travel there and murder everything you see. Your team has the best weapons, armour and training. Literally nothing can go wrong.

Operation: Exploding Face is underway!

Remember, we will be watching.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 189 )

Blue, you made me cry.

and that's why you're the best writer on this website bar none

Oh god my sides... :rainbowlaugh:

...I saw this in the NEW UPLOADS section. I read the description.

".......Oh god, this can NOT end well."

That was beautiful. SImply beautiful.

XCOM? I have to read this when I have time. Who knows, maybe I'll meet those annoying Chryssalids again.


Arrrrgh those are the worst, with their cheating free move! :twilightangry2:

Wait, what happened to Rarity's heavy American accent?

1598949 And then they turn my men into zombies, but I'll blast them away with my plasma rifles.

Play an actual X-COM game. Those fuckers are the bane of existence.

So wonderful.

But I would wonder what a X COM team would do if they saw a Dragon.

Le me, playing XCOM... :flutterrage::twilightangry2::rainbowdetermined2:
Le me, quitting and coming to FimFiction... :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:
Le me, seeing this fic... :pinkiegasp:
Reading it... :rainbowhuh::derpyderp1:... :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::scootangel:

This is :fluttershbad:ing hilarious. I give you 4 staches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:


Do you mean the original games? I've only played the new one, and they are hard enough! Mostly due to the 'free move' mechanic. It should be used to get the aliens to cover when spotted, but because the Chyssalids don't have ranged attack, they just race at you, ready to lay eggs in your face :twilightoops:

I laughed hard and often. This was delicious. Thank you. Non-stop hilarity that never let up; I wonder how people who haven't played the game reads this.


I did try to make it as accessible as possible, we shall see, I guess!

This is fucking hilarious! If this is what XCOM's gameplay is like, then I am DEFINITELY getting it. :rainbowlaugh:

The new game is, to be blunt, watered-down shit. It's not anywhere near the depth the original games have; Firaxis didn't make X-COM, they made X-COM's retarded brother.
In X-COM, your men are made of paper and can only reliably hit each other. The aliens can be anywhere, are tougher and stronger than you, and they have more firepower than you. There are no escort missions or bomb missions or pathetic 'classes'; there are guns, there are aliens, and there is an Earth that is going to hell. This is before chryssalids and before sectopods.
Story's cool, by the by.

That feel when I've had Blueshift die in my game repeatedly. Well...that's XCOM, baby.

Ah, Xcom character creator is the best, my squad consists of Oprah Winfrey (Psi assault), EXODIA OBLITERATE!!!! (Psi Heavy), Light Yagami (support), The Origami Killer (sniper), Commander Shepard (assault), and Vin Diesel (heavy)


In all seriousness, this guy has put up a 'Let's Play' of XCOM at the hardest difficulty. It's a really, really watchable format. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9zJE9GodMQ&feature=plcp

I sense you are frustrated by something, Blueshift. :pinkiecrazy:

1599079 I am going to watch it.


1599063 It's still better than just about anything even vaguely commercially viable XCOM-related stuff in the past 15 years.

Oh god, I'm laughing so hard my face hurts Blueshift you bastard I'll get you for this if I don't keel over from laughter.:rainbowlaugh:

Ahahah nice X-COM parody. :rainbowlaugh: Also heavy American accents for everyone!

I'll give them that, yes.

WOOt I LOVE THIS GAME. Ill have to read this later, after I figure out how to mod the game to assign them the pony names


I've have to check out the original at some point.

>In X-COM, your men are made of paper and can only reliably hit each other.

That definitely sounds like my experience of the new game!

"Shot wide! Shot wide! Missed the target! Shot wide!"

Well, you definitely got the operative's skills down pat.

Hade this idea for months, and finally someone does it. Must read.


God on the last mission of my first playthrough, even the ROCKET went wide and missed the aliens :twilightoops:

Pff. Standardized damage and health-boosting armor means your soldiers are pretty durable. Even with personal armor in X-COM, your soldiers die to single plasma shots. And in X-COM, you can literally shoot your own guys in the back, and it happens. Often.
It's the best game ever. You should play it.

Impression before reading: :facehoof:

Impression after reading: :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:


Heh, and of course;

And if anyone wants to see a good Lets Play of the origional; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOlmDcKr_0U

This is sooooooo hilarious ^^

Should have saved scumed.


Oh wow that video is amazing!


They were playing IRONMAN.

As only true warriors do!

Blueshift, you weirdo.

You are my new god.

I remember playing old X-Com. Normally, I got 50% casualties on any successful missions. On any failed missions, it was a total party kill.

OMG a XCOM fic in Fimfiction?! MUST READ.

Doesn't everyone get a free cheating move?


No, if you discover aliens on your move, they get a chance to run for cover (however with Chryssalids this is a chance to race towards you to murder you more easily on their next turn.)

There's no 'free move' for you if the aliens uncover you during their turn. I can see why, due to how the AI works, but the game mechanics pull you out somewhat. I'd prefer the aliens to be scampering about making use of cover before you find them.

The story of the squad that couldn't shoot straight

I have Enemy Unknown, and I know the mechanics too.

Such a dramatic and touching story... also, first on homepage AND featured??? IMPOSSIBRU

But seriously, good job Blue.


Ah right, gotcha.

I am still grumbly over the bloody death of Wanderer D, who was surrounded by three Chryssalids out of nowhere due to their free move! (He ended up shooting his rocket launcher at his feet to kill himself and the Chryssalids)

Why do I get the feeling that exiled Telephone Sanitation Engineers would have been more effective? At least their committees drove the indigenous primitives to extinction....

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