Author's and editor's notes
Before I really get going on this author’s notes, I have some thanks I need to pass around. First, to Brilliant Point, Coandco, Ekevoo and Merlos the Mad, thanks for being wonderful editors, keeping my writing honest, and catching my many, many mistakes! Ludicrous Lycan, thanks for pre-reading and being an ideal audience surrogate!
And, of course, a huge thanks to everyone who read the story. It’s you guys that I write for, after all. There would be no Cinnamon Swirl without all of you!
And now for some notes on this story. Oh, this story. This extremely problematic story.
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed writing it. But I had intended from the start for this to be a slightly gritty but still lighthearted comedy with an underlying core of drama than anything else. Big tough guy gets turned into a little filly? Hilarity is bound to ensue! I learned that from Ranma ½, and anime has never lied to me, not even once!
That’s when I noticed the comments about how horrible it was what Cinnamon was going through, and how messed up his relationship was with his mom.
My thoughts upon reading those comments went a little something like this:
“What? But it’s just a fun comedy! Sure, his mom is messed up, and she basically kidnapped her own child after he’d been rendered nearly helpless by a magical plant that robbed him of his identity, and dragged him back to his badly neglected childhood home, after which she forced him to go to school and pretend to be a little filly, causing him nothing but humiliation after humiliation while being eaten alive by frustration and self-identity issues… Hmm… You know what? I think I’ll add a ‘Dark’ tag to this.”
So, yeah. This ended up getting darker than I’d intended by a fair amount. I realized that, while I could have backed off and written this as a goofball comedy with some drama and action thrown in, it would have felt very fake. Cinnamon’s situation just felt like it deserved better treatment than to make a flat-out comedy out of it.
As for the other dramatic elements, believe it or not that was all planned out from the beginning. Tapioca’s illness, the smugglers, Almond having basically lost herself after both her husband and daughter died within weeks of each other, that was all planned from the get-go in my “lighthearted comedy”.
Yeah… sometimes I really don’t think things through all the way.
There is one thing I did change, and that was a little tweak to the ending, after Filli Vanilli came out. I hadn’t thought of Zecora being able to make a potion that could re-inflict the poison joke effects on a pony, and I thought it really applied well to Cinnamon’s situation. Being able to disguise himself as a small child might come in handy as a police officer, after all. Other than that, though, the ending was pretty much the same as what I’d planned when I started this story. Cinnamon had changed back to a stallion after about a year as a filly, at his mother’s insistence. And, while things aren’t perfect, they’re sure a lot better than they were.
The best thing about this story, for me, is how it stretched me as a writer. While my other stories have occasional moments of drama and emotional tension in them, they pale in comparison to this one. I’d never written a story anything like this before, and it was equal parts frustrating and satisfying the whole way through.
School of Hard Knocks is also where I started really relying on editors, at first Brilliantpoint by himself, but bringing in Ekevoo and Coandco later on, and finally Merlos. There was a marked improvement in how polished each chapter was once I started getting editors. Not only that, but our comment strings would sometimes go wildly and hilariously off-tangent, causing no end of fun.
So, that’s it for this story. And you might ask, “what next?” Do I have any plans for Cinnamon and Plum after this story? And the answer is yes, but not for a while. I’m planning on working on my other stories for a while and letting this particular cast of characters rest for a bit. But, if I have my way, Cinnamon and company will be back in glorious style!
And now some notes from the editors:
~~Ekevoo~~
I keep telling myself I should write more, but truth be told, editing is what I actually love doing. All I have to do is get to other people stories before publishing, conceitedly declare all my likes and dislikes and watch them struggle and squirm to accommodate my yellow highlights! BWA HA HA HA!!
*ahem*
This isn’t technically my first story I edited for Hoopy; Daring Didn’t happened in the meantime, and there’s an unpublished thing (which was okay, but not nearly as good as everything else that Hoopy has published, and really dated by now) before it all. School of Hard Knocks, however, was the first story that had more than one chapter, and I actually could watch something great being built, and how it feels working with the rest of the team.
I work with many authors by now, and Hoopy is one of the authors that takes his editors’ opinions in most equal measure, which invites me both to be bold and to be careful (as they say in the other wiki). The result of that is incredibly prolonged debates that actually do result sometimes in entire sections being rebuilt into something better; something that makes more sense, and that (we hope) ultimately entertains you all more. Something that’s worth the wait. Not that it wasn’t already fantastic, awesome, radical, and brilliant when it was only Hoopy and Point Brilliant in the team.
Battling Brilliant Point in comment threads has been a load of fun. Frustrating at times, but it’s the good kind of frustrating, the kind that made me learn; and I appreciated being called up on my mistakes so that I don’t make them again. That privilege is normally reserved only to the author. I also battled a bit with Coandco and Merlos, but not as often as I’d have liked. Yes, that’s a nudge. ;)
For your amusement (because Hoopy teased), here’s a recent HEA tangent that’s a favorite of mine:
Brilliant: Zecora! Oh wait, rhymes.. Fuck my life as an editor… (I suck at those)
Hoopy: When I write Zecora scenes, I feel like a dope. A rhyming dictionary is my only hope.
Ekevoo: Don't worry, it's working out fine. You can always iterate your next line.
Hoopy: Unfortunately, I'm inclined to whine when I trot out these rhymes of mine :)
Ekevoo: Whine your frustrations away. Rid yourself of their weight.
~Ekevoo, the banana hat editor.
~~Brilliant Point~~
Becoming the editor for School of Hard Knocks was never one of my goals. I was quite happy with being Hoopy's editor for his stories taking place in the Sunflower Universe. But alas, life has a tendency to throw a wrench into the plans you have. This one was called Hoopy McGee and was armed with puppy-dog eyes. Who can say no when he asks like that if you want to edit other stories?
Anyhoo, this led to me checking out the other stories he was working on. The first one I picked for reading was School of Hard Knocks. An easy choice as I already was familiar with Why am I Pinkie Pie?, so a spin-off is easy to evaluate if you want to edit for (I always do this to see if I'm a good match as an editor).
Why am I Pinkie Pie wasn't one of his stories that I truly enjoyed (sorry Hoopy...). It was a well written story and quite entertaining, just a tad too slapstick like for my tastes. It just wasn't my cup of tea. So I expected something similar with School of Hard Knocks.
But what I encountered wasn't that. Instead of seeing Cinnamon the side gag I found a fully fleshed out snarky stallion in a fillies body. Who faced all kinds of interesting issues because of it. The story also explored the less savoury parts of Equestrian society. Now this was a story that was unique, well written, and I knew would take me and the readers on an interesting journey. I was sold.
Looking back I never regretted the choice of editing for this story. One factor was of course the exceptional story I had the honour of editing for. The other factor was Hoopy himself as he's a joy to work with. He can take a joke and isn't afraid to butt heads with his editor.
But no matter how silly we got we never lost focus on the story. Polishing it where necessary and enjoying the tale of the stallion Cinnamon Swirl turned filly. Which now sadly has reached its end. I'm going to miss editing for this story.
PS,
With all the teasing Hoopy did about our editing shenanigans it’s only fair to share one of my favourites. So without further ado another Hoopy’s Editing Adventure:
I told you, I’m not a therapist but not a doc— oh my sweet stars!
Brilliant Point: So he's a completely unqualified quack?
Hoopy McGee: Not sure dual masters counts as "unqualified", but only time will tell if he's a quack or not :D
Brilliant Point: Looks like I was a tad too subtle. ;) You're saying here that he's not a therapist and also not a doctor. I think you meant to say that he's a therapist, but not a doctor.
Hoopy McGee: Oh, whoops. Heh, now I see it. Will remove that "not" and mark this resolved.
~~coandco~~
I was brought on as an editor for the story fairly late in the cycle, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed proofing for Hoopy. My approach to editing is slightly different than that of Ekevoo or BrilliantPoint; while they thrive on making structural observations, I’m mostly putting a mild case of OCD to good use and catching all the details, only commenting on the overarching story when something particularly egregious is going down.
...so between the two of us, you see, we lick the platter clean.
I started reading Hoopy’s stories just after Why Am I Pinkie Pie was published, and have loved every minute of them since. I tend to view writing style as the key component that draws me in, and Hoopy’s got the magic touch: his stories consistently display a refreshing level of genre/trope-awareness without constantly pushing it in your face. In School of Hard Knocks, this is mostly accomplished through the vehicle of Cinnamon’s policing instincts; either way, I greatly appreciate just how adroitly Hoopy avoids the use of the Idiot Ball (warning: TV Tropes link).
Thanks again to Hoopy for creating such an amazing story, and thanks to my fellow editors for livening up the proofreading environment!
-- coandco
~~Merlos the Mad~~
Well then, hello other story pokers, I’m Merlos.
Honestly, other than Brilliant, I wasn’t aware much that Hoopy even had other helpers. If I had been I might have attempted conversation on some small scale. Well, my apologies for that, but nevermind.
Editing for Hoopy was great, and I think I’ve discovered I mostly prefer editing to writing. This, however, comes with the clause that the writer isn’t infuriating. Hoopy definitely fits the bill there. He’s a very open-ended sort of writer. By that I mean his work is easy to sort of… see the big picture, and work things in your head around. I don’t want to say simple, but maybe that’s a fitting word, too, but in a good way. Ekevoo said use the word ‘clear’, lol, so I’ll go with that.
So, helping with his stories was a lot of fun, certainly, though I wonder how much he actually needs our help when he says that his writing has improved because of us all mucking about. :P
Heh, still I owe writing anything at all to Hoopy’s stuff, so I’ll be happy to lend a hand in his work in future days, even if I’m not really working on my own stuff much at the moment. I think that says a lot about his writing. (at least for me) Thanks to both him and the other editors for being great!
Oh.
I just learned that this is actually getting posted, too. Well, hello fimfiction! And from an avenue I don’t usually get to speak from, ie Hoopy’s account! Hah. Man, I’m like the closing statements or something. Ah geez, what should I say? I could write anything here at all and no one could stop-
~~Ludicrous Lycan~~
My turn! Hi everyone, I’m Lycan, and I’m the mediocre writer that got really freaking lucky.
I really haven’t been around here long at all. I think I become a Brony sometime late last August. And then a writer late October. Most of October was spent on Fim Fiction, just reading and enjoying everyone's writing.
That changed sometime after I sent a fan letter to Hoopy. I read his Fic “Why am I Pinkie Pie!?” and had sort of a fan spaz attack. The length of said letter shall lie in the darkest reaches of Fim Fic’s mail software. Moving right along, Hoopy responded to me faster then I would have guessed, let alone expected. He even carried a conversation or two over the course of a couple weeks.
At some point, I got the gumption to try my hand at writing for myself. Bet it’s no surprise my first fic idea ever was a self insert HIE. That was canned for obvious reasons, but made way for several other fic ideas. Some I have yet to start, and others that have started and need a total redo before I even consider letting them loose.
Anyway, Hoopy’s support and his stories are what got me into the idea of writing my own fics. In that regard, I suppose me and Merlos have a bit in common. Speaking of, I also owe a great deal to what I have accomplished to Merlos. He helped me get started. He introduced me to several really cool people that showed me the do’s and don'ts of a good fic, as well as gave me a chance to practice my writing and instruct me on how to go about it.
A week before Halloween, he actually let me co-write his story Once Upon a Fright. I was uber excited and stoked throughout the whole thing… even if it didn’t do as good as we hoped. Sorry, Merlos. I’ve been helping with his stuff long enough now that he’s called me a “co-writer”, though I don’t feel I deserve that credit. Working with Merlos has gained me a lot in regards to the people I’ve met on this site and the skill in which I can write my own stories, although I’m still nowhere near as good as anyone else here.
Actually... Hoopy called me something in one of his recent School of Hard Knock’s chapters that I thought hilariously appropriate. What was it…? ...It seems he changed it when I wasn’t looking… No matter, he wrote something similar in this very document! “Being an ideal audience surrogate.” As that may imply, I love to pre read and comment on Hoopy’s work. While I‘m a pretty cruddy editor, I guess I make up for it in the comments I leave. Story inconsistencies, character flaws, or just random ideas and jokes apparently merit a pass on this ride. Not that I’m complaining mind you. If you think reading his stories when their finished is great, then you have no idea what you're missing behind the scenes.
Hoopy’s fic’s are the ones I’m always waiting for more of. Unfinished or not, they’re always a blast. Unfortunately, Hoopy will clam up fast if you ask him anything that falls under the spoiler department. That isn’t to say I’ll ever stop trying, his new stuff is gonna drive everyone crazy with anticipation.
It sometimes feels that helping in other peoples work is more fun than working on my own, but finishing your own chapter is pretty great too. I finished a story a while back and felt fantastic afterwards… But I think the high messed with my motivation. Now if only I could do something else besides pre read and edit! All well. I have plenty of ideas, I just have to get them down.
But this is supposed to be about Hoopy and his story. Both of which are awesome. This story might be over, but he still has several other projects I’m excited to see. Some he’s already revealed, others still in the wings that he’s proving stubborn to talk about. Yes... From the looks of things, he has a lot more to show us, and I’m sure everyone is looking forward to it.
On an out note, this is the part where I would love to share something silly or funny involving my time spent with Hoopy, Merlos, Brilliant Point, and everyone else. Unfortunately, I don’t have any such thing on hand at the moment. Well, nothing relevant to Hoopy or isn’t outright embarrassing for certain people… So very tempting… N-no, I will resist. Umm… Heavy is a magic pink horse? No wait, I wasn’t supposed to talk about that either… I think I’m done here.
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I have to say, I might have enjoyed this story more than Why am I Pinkie Pie, and I enjoyed that one to pieces. Thanks for the story and look forward to the next one. See ya next time!
4091336 I don't know about the last part (I can't understand how you got that conclusion. An explanation would be appreciated), but the rest sounds good.
4091792 done...
Right as I was about to get around to this one, it finishes. Perfect.
I do believe this story stood alone. Thanks for the read.
But I have to say, from the beginning of the story I said that the image confused me, especially on how his/her hooves twisted strangely, but hey, no matter now, right?
D'aww! Happy endings always make my day, bro.
I really loved this story, dude. On top of just being well-written on a mechanical scale the plot was engaging, being dark and funny without being "black comedy." Cinnamon is a great protagonist with just the right mix of heart and sass that makes you like him, but not enough to make him an aggravating dick, as I think he kinda was in Why Am I Pinkie Pie? Plum was adoracute to the extreme, but the scenes that sealed it for mew was Cinnamon's interaction with his mom. At the beginning, I hated her, and felt so bad for Cinnamon. It seemed he was trapped. But as it went on, you start getting the feeling that he almost let himself get trapped. I mean, come on, there are ways he could have gotten the cure. If he really, really wanted to, he could have gotten out of that house. Maybe he was just subconsciously suffering because he knew what it would do to his mom.
While I dearly hope we get a sequel—maybe detailing what happened last summer—but if this is all there is, it was a hell of a tale. Thank you!
Well, now that the tale is done...wonderful story. I do find it amusing that it was originally intended to be a lighthearted comedy. I still find it... annoying, that nopony did anything about it sooner, but I understand it was necessary for the plot and can probably be argued away. I very much appreciate the fact that Cinnamon understood the real thing he wanted and was missing: Choice. Control over his life. And that as soon as he had it, he chose to make a new Deal and stick around, rather than going, "Well, this has been a traumatic visit. See you when I've repressed the memories under many pints of alcohol, Mom!" Stand up guy, even as a filly.
I also find the plot point that cutie marks are not only up to interpretation, but aren't even fixed, to be very interesting. If they only represent you at the time that you get the mark... How many ponies are stuck in a situation and only stay there because their cutie mark says it's their destiny? How many could find something much more fulfilling if only their cutie mark had matured as they did, or they got a chance like Cinnamon did to see what theirs might be now? I know they aren't actually restricted by their cutie mark, but how many ponies honestly go looking for another specialization when they already have a cutie mark telling them what they're good at? Just brings up some interesting speculation, might be a story idea in there.
All in all, bravo. And don't worry, they managed to reconstruct my molars without too much hassle.
This has been very entertaining in the most unusual way
4091752
I'd have to agree with you. As much as I loved Why am I Pinkie Pie, this one just had something to it that pushed it beyond my expectations. I'm really sad to see it's over, and here's hoping Cinnamon and friends will come back just as strong in the future. My mind is already racing with ideas as to what happened over the summer and during the New Deal.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/NewDeal.jpg
No no no, not that New Deal, the one from the story.
Anyway, until then.
A great story through and through! Thank you!
Grab flargit! I didn't realize you were going to post the notes! Lmao, maybe I should have spent a few extra hours last night and added something after all.
Meh, my loss. These were entertaining i suppose, any chance this kind of thing will become a normal thing?
4091752 I'll agree this story was awesome, but I'm going to have to disagree on it being better then why am I Pinkie Pie!?. That story is my number one favorite on this site, and one of the driving reasons I started writing. But I think we can both agree that Hoopy is a bad ass with a keyboard and a gallon of coffee.
This was all around a cute story, and I am glad to have stuck by from the beginning. Keep up the writing, you've got an ever-growing talent for it!
Other than perhaps Zebra Rhymes, those can use some practice, but every still pond needs a pebble thrown in from time to time and I have no idea what that metaphor means
4091995
Maybe it was Cinnamon's destiny to get his mark changed? :O
Have you considered that cinnamon essentially is immortal now? Well, as long as he can handle being a girl for all eternity. All he has to do is spend a couple seconds in his original body every lifetime or so, and quickly use the antidote then the re-applier thing.
I am extremely pleased with this story. It showed an impressive amount of emotional development between the characters, and I am so glad you decided to take a chance with the darker angle. Looking forward to your new writing projects! Thanks for both you and your editors' hard work!
I loved this story
I'm really gonna miss reading new chapters!
Hoopy, this was awesome. I enjoyed each chapter immensely, and you found a great balance between issues and gut busters. I look forwards to more from you, and know that if you need another opinion giver to add to your cadre, just ask Merlos to borrow me.
Well I suppose all things must come to an end, thank you all for the story it's been quite the ride.
4092491
Hopefully gets the point across. I personally like the "H" in there.
MO-- Oh I mean, great story!
Good story Will fave
Much edits
Pretty ponies
Great plot
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/231/6/7/princess_doge_by_thepatrollpl-d6isv5p.png
<3 what a fuzzy, warm ending.
Congrats on completing another classic, Hoopy McGee. Onwards and upwards!
Followed this one from the very start. You and your team did a damn fine job!
And the story ends.
This was a fun read, and it turned out much more interesting than Why am I Pinkie Pie. Good luck with whatever you plan to write next!
Fantastic job. 10/10, would read again.
I was able to connect to Cinnamon, Plum and all the rest in a way that I can usually only connect to characters in paper book series's. Thank you for all the effort you put into The School of Hard Knocks, I can hardly wait for the next installment to the story of The Intrepid Shape-Swapping Cinnamon Sugar Swirl!
From the desk of MaruTheWonderbolt.
So maybe it's just me, but I was kind of hoping something would go wrong with the cure and Cinnamon would grow up again alongside Plum and that would have been a really interesting relationship dynamic? But maybe that's just me.
Anyway, I remember when I first started reading Why Am I Pinkie Pie? when that first appeared in the featured box. From there I was led along a fairly enjoyable spiraling before Pinkie Pie stepped through the portal back to Equestria with a gas mask and a Doctor Who reference, and we gracefully segued into the sequel we'd all been hoping for, School of Hard Knocks.
And how.
I have a lot of feelings for this story. The way you slowly built up that tension between Cinnamon and his mom, let it boil underneath until it started spilling through all the little cracks, the way Plum and Mulberry and Cinnamon could feel so genuine, the way you wove the crooked-cop conflict into Cinnamon's battle with his identity and his failing relationship with his mother, meanwhile Plum is stuck in the middle just trying to be, it was all really intense. Like, it's 12:20 AM right now and that's the best word I can think of.
But that's definitely not to say the story didn't have it's calms. To be honest, I think that's one of the things that made the story shine: the contrast. The ponies in question, the world at large, they all demanded that things continue on as normal, but Cinnamon's situation was so far from it. Despite being a full grown stallion turned into a filly, he still had to go to school every day. Though Mulberry is probably the best mother anypony could ask for, she was trapped in a web of corruption left over from her husband's shady dealings. And despite Cinnamon's furious inner storm, Plum remained a ray of sunshine. And Ms. Persimmon was pretty cool, too. I'm glad she got involved.
I loved Cinnamon's inner dialogues, I loved the drama, I loved those two old thugs working for the crime ring because they seemed like pretty nice guys, I loved how things got better for Cinnamon's mom and Plum's dad and Cinnamon. I just loved a lot. Possibly everything.
The point is, School of Hard Knocks was pretty damn amazing. Believe me when I say that I wouldn't be entirely unwilling to reread the whole of it at some point. It's been sun keeping up with it as it updated and I'm so sad to see it go, but it's been a great run and this is a great end. I'll be keeping an eye out for those "plans for Cinnamon and Plum", but until then, I thank you. And if for some reason you need even more editors, I'd be way more than willing to help out.
Man, this story was amazing from start to finish. Loved the characters, loved the drama.
There were plenty of touching parts in the story, but for some reason, the one that hit me the hardest was this:
I'm getting a lot of... mixed feelings from this part. The fact that Cinnamon spent a year growing up as a filly does raise a few questions about the effect of poison joke. Does it last forever? Even if it doesn't, that's pretty long. Anyways, my point is that I kind of feel that his cure might have cost him quite a bit more than he's realised. If poison joke does last indefinitely, the thought that fillies Cinnamon and Plum won't be growing up together just makes me feel a little melancholy.
I know that Cinnamon's the same pony regardless of what body he has, but I somehow can't shake off the feeling that their friendship won't be the same (not that that's a bad thing) if Cinnamon's a stallion that can periodically turn back into a filly.
I don't know, maybe I'm just sad because the story's finished. I'll just chalk it up to your skill in making me want to see more of Cinnamon and Plum going on adventures together.
Also, if the effects of poison joke do last indefinitely, it's scary to think that there might've been ponies, griffons, zebras, etc. who had to spend the rest of their lives dealing with whatever nonsense that plant saw fit to put them through, since it appears that the cure is neither well-known nor easily obtained.
I've gotta say, I pretty much favorite any story I like on this site like an idiot, so lemme tell you that this actually is one of my favorite favorites so you know how much I liked this. Every time this story updated, despite the fact I came waaaay late into it's life cycle, I'd say to myself "Life can be pretty cool sometimes."
I really appreciate you let the editors get a word in. The English language is dumb and hard and major props to those who not also learn it properly but go out of their way to fix up stories that they themselves did not write.
So about when the whole detective work of the story kicked in, this start playing in my head.
His cutie mark pretty sealed the connection in my head. When telling my friend about this, I pretty much summed it up as "My Little Pony meets Detective Conan."
Thanks for the ride man. I really enjoyed this. Good luck with the next story.
4094514
Yeah, I was kinda hoping it would go that route, too. (The re-growing up alongside Plum bit.) Sad to see that it didn't, as that might never have been done before.
Thank you for all of your hard work on this wonderful little story.
Maybe, if Cinnamon stays a filly long enough, she gets her cutie mark back and grows back to the age she should be as a filly, that means, about plum age?
Sequel idea!
Being able to change back and forth, the only way the story would be interesting is if Cinnamon got stuck. Besides think about it, another year or so, and Plum will be dating boys, while Cinnamon filly form would be two years younger than her and a blank flank. But then, how to avoid the Action movie sequel drama? How to continue this story in a sequel without making things worse? But then, what case would require Cinnamon to stay as a filly for a long time? Maybe a investigation inside a private school for gifted fillies?"My name is Cinnamon Swirl, I am a Sergeant from the Equestrian police. the short story is that I was magically turned from an adult stallion into a young filly to infiltrate this private school, and investigate what in Tartarus is going here. The long story is in fact, long. and not something I want to talk about at the moment."
Reusing the same effect only cements poison joke's humor as bad.
Excellent read though. Onwards to the next fic, Hoopy!
Long time reader, first time commenter.
Why Am I Pinkie Pie? was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and remains one of my favorites. Whenever I want to convince someone that FiMfic is worth their time, I hand them Why Am I Pinkie Pie? And when I saw this was the sequel/spin-off, I figured it was going to be much of the same vein- a little comedy, a little drama, a little dramady. Oh, the joys of being proven delightfully wrong.
You and your editors should be exceptionally proud of what you've built here. It has a natural flow and growth that's surprising and engaging as you navigated the wonderful complexity of Cinnamon Swirl and his experiences as a filly trying to be the stallion he knows he is.
And even though the dark tag truly applied, I never felt like I was mired in it. The darker elements worked not in darkening the story, but in providing depth and reality. Truly, this felt like a "real" Equestria to me with its own morays and rules and cultural norms breathing and growing and living. Much like Cinnamon: cute little filly at first glance, but a breadth of life and quality beneath that surface.
Bravo all around. Hard Knocks was a knock out and I look forward to more from you, Hoopy!
I don't have anything to say that others haven't said better. So I'll just say... this story rocks.
...woohoo.
Thank you for the story!
Indeed. Why DO books end?
Why cant they keep on forever?
So now Equestria has not only immortal princesses, but also an immortal police officer!
Great story, cool main character.
I'll admit, I have not actually read this yet. I started reading it, but, well...
Yeah, I saw that right from the start and went "NOPE!". The whole concept made me feel rather sick, and the fact that you didn't seem to realize just how messed up the situation was and how utterly horrible his mother was being made it so much worse...
But then I heard that this fic just ended and so I decided to take a look, and I was pleasantly surprised to read the quoted section above... I have to admit, I'm extremely impressed. I know a lot of authors would have tried to pretend like it wasn't really as dark as it actually was, or would have tried to change the course mid-stream, or even abandon the story altogether, but you did something completely different. You not only realized that you had accidentally written something much darker than you intended to, but you ran with it. I suppose I'll have to actually give it a read through sometime... I skimmed the ending a bit just now because I'm still a little wary, and I simultaneously think that his mother got off too lightly (she doesn't seem to fully realize just how terrible what she did was) and yet doesn't deserve anything worse at this point (her life is a mess, and she really does need a lot of therapy). I expect that her therapy sessions will cause her to have a greater "My God What Have I Done" moment anyway... EDIT: If I am reading this right it looks like she's still recovering and so hasn't realized just what a monster she was being to him... It took her almost a year of therapy to agree to let him cure himself? And somehow managed to guilt trip him? She guilt tripped him? What the hell... Okay, yeah, she still needs a lot of help. Hopefully once she recovers a bit more of her sanity she'll realize that she's still being pretty damn terrible.
So, yeah... I suppose I'll have to give this fic another shot in the near future. (though I suspect that even knowing what I know now I'll repeatedly be going "why the hell isn't anyone helping him? Holy shit what the hell is wrong with his mother? Holy shit what is wrong with everyone else for not arresting her for kidnapping? Why the hell did the Mane 6 just leave him to his fate? What the hell is wrong with them?)
I'm sorry if this post seems a bit overly critical, but I wanted you to know how I felt when I first read this fic and thus why it is so damn impressive to me that you apparently not only managed to recognize the initial issues with it, roll with those issues and use them to make a more involving and dramatic story, and then somehow manage to pull off a happy ending.
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I guess it never seemed as dark to me, because I knew how it was going to end. I also knew why Cinnamon's mom was so messed up, and I had a lot of sympathy for her. To me, it wasn't a story about an abusive situation so much as it was a story about self-discovery and personal redemption.
Those comments early on in the story knocked me back on my heels and made me consider things from the point of view of someone who didn't know how the story would end. And that's when I added the Dark tag. Because, yeah, his situation is pretty darned messed up. I put that guy through the wringer in both Why am I Pinkie Pie?! and even more so in this story.
In any case, if you do decide to give it another spin, I can only hope I don't disappoint. And thanks for your feedback, I really appreciate it!
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Whoo, what a comment. And well summed up for the story! I certainly couldn't have said it better myself, and I did try, too.
To all the editors: you all did great & we thank you for it!
CURSE YOU COANDCO! I spent an entire day following that link...
Now to mark the first chapter as unread so I will reread this in a few months...
Excellent job on this story, Hoopy. I'm looking forward to more Sunflower, the sequel to this whenever it happens to land, and whatever else you might happen to write.
nicely done, thanks for sharing it with us.
I liked the darker tones. You made it interesting and tense while still keeping it lighthearted. That's an accomplishment, and not many stories really nail that balance.
I've gotta say, though, if not for the convenient new potion, I would have preferred an ending where he stayed a filly permanently, of his own free will. The world needs all the filly Cinnamon Swirl it can get.
INCOMING PRAISE.
Well, good sir, you've once again treated us with a fantastic tale. The dive into darker subjects was a unique change, but welcomed warmly with the feels that resulted from Cinnamon's mother later on as well as Cinnamon's own character development. I thoroughly enjoyed the fic as a whole and I eagerly await your future stories. Keep on rocking, Hoopy!
Good job team.
*Throws many thumbs up