• Member Since 8th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2019

Pumpkin Patch


You should stay out of these parts...

E
Source

Between the events of The Return of Harmony and Keep Calm and Flutter On, the daughter of a once-famous Equestrian Alchemist is discovered in the basement of her father's home, still alive and still young. Twilight must unravel the mystery as to what her father was up to, and why he imprisoned his only daughter.

Chapters (26)
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Comments ( 184 )

Where are all the comments?

Also, I like it so far, especially Mrs. Cake's role. Heck, all the characters here are a pretty good match together. I can't wait for more.

1877257

Thanks!

Yeah the story's page is a little out-of-whack. I took the story down and resubmitted it because I started it over and I guess that didn't set well. :derpytongue2:

1877433

It still is pretty wacky. This is the third story I favorited that had nonexistent unread chapters. Probably something like a double post.

Holy rewrite batman!
However, I'm liking it so far, so good. Will be seeing where this goes later.

That pony is hella schwey, and funky as all get out. Too bad her 'rent wasn't rock 'n roll enough to handle her and stuffed her in that tubular tube.


I wasn't expecting this, honestly. But I like it!

1996145

lol. Glad you like it. Also, while I don't want to overdo it, if you or anyone else reading this has ideas for archaic/hippie slang she can say, I'm open to suggestions. :pinkiehappy:

:pinkiehappy: i like it tho the sharp mood change was a bit clesha

Very interesting premise you've got going there! :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Bangomango deleted Feb 10th, 2013

“Yeah, I’m Twilight on this one.” said Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash is now roleplaying :rainbowlaugh:

Whoa. Hippie has a Hulk mode.

huh, so we have a Jekyll and Hyde situation here. Except Jekyll is a hippie.

Say hello to spirit of I'm a psycho sadistic masochist.

2102332 And Hyde is the one getting drugged.

Oh boy! Olde speacheth!:twistnerd:

...I fave'd this story, and it somehow added 6 updates to my updates list.

2103907
/shrug
There was a point where I took down the story, re-wrote it, and then resubmitted. I don't think the system liked that. Still, that was last month so I don't know what's happening in your case.

Okay. Her father was both an alchemist AND a Discordian? That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. Alchemy is about balance, equivlent exchange, you can't get something for nothing kind of junk. Discord is the opposite of that. He's chaos, disharmony, growing various body parts and orifices where there were none. And he made some sort of Chimeric reaction in his daugther to boot? Guy better hope he's dead or he's going to get such a kick in the ass.

2105065

Believe it or not, I have an explanation for that. Stay tuned. :pinkiehappy:

2106491

Oh oh ho. You better belive I intend to. I shall now manicical laugh.

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Well that was unusual. I faved this, then moved to a different page, and suddenly I had 6 new chapter updates, with this being the only story listed, and all the chapters already read. It's only this one too, I tried other ones and they all worked fine. It's probably something to do with unpublished chapters, they're always kinda screwy.

Interesting....................

I love stories with interesting premises, all but two or three of the stories I have in my ideas are original and abstract. I like that in a story. good job.

This is looking good so far, My only problem is that I am somewhat certain that at least a thousand years ago ponies did not talk roughly like they did in the sixties

2250761

Equestria's cultural trends don't necessarily follow the same pattern as ours. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :derpytongue2:

2102219 The incredible Hulk or Hulk Hogan? :derpytongue2:

I need to reread The Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide again,

Your story has similar length, amount of chapters being higher by one, similar amount of likes but less dislikes. Total views and most views on chapter are nearly the same. However, your story is older... And you got featured.

I am seeing you as my rival, good sir! The world shall tremble before our battles of wits!

Great job as always, but for whatever reason even when I have all the chapters marked as read this story stays in my unread list. Can't seem to find any way to fix it yet.

EDIT: Un- and then re-faved it, it seems that the chapters count towards the unread number, for whatever reason.

EDIT2: Marked all chapters as unread, bumped the total up by six more, unfaved and there were twelve less. You wouldn't happen to have six unpublished chapters, would you?

2426999

Thanks.

What happened is that I originally posted a prologue and five chapters. After I put them up, I decided there were some things I didn't like about how I was handling the story so I took it down completely, wrote all-new chapters, and resubmitted it. The website apparently didn't like that and now I've gotten a few reports of the story acting strangely in certain parts of the site. I apologize. I'm not sure what the solution is. You have my word that there are no hidden chapters, though.

2427067 Alright, cool.
Note to self: don't dick with the submission things.

Ah, having the same problem with story staying in unread.

Submission is as Submission does, the old saying goes.

Even knigthy has problem with the website and he made it. It is evolving on its own!

Kinda reminds of Hercules when Herc's string-thing became invincible, and the scissors didn't work :eeyup:

the gramma is a bit off at times, as is the wording. However this dose look like it could be an interesting read. I look forward to seeing how this turns out.

Ill be honest, I didn't like this chapter as much as the first. ill keep reading before I judge the story itself yet though.

A few errors I noticed:

Pinkie Pie decided to sit to sit right next to Rainbow Dash.

you repeted the words "to sit" for no reason.

She then went silent for a moment, apparently going over it in her mind. At last, said “So...if she’s the daughter of a Discordian, isn’t that, you know, gonna be a problem? I mean, what if she’s still on Discord’s side?”

"At last, said.." should be, actually you could rephrase this in a number of ways, but as it is it doesn't work.

“Woo-hoo!” shouted Pinkie Pie as she jumped up in the air. Her landing was followed by a few sprinkles of confetti of unknown origin slowly floating to the ground. Nopony gave a reaction to this. They were with Pinkie Pie. It was expected.

2 probels with this part: Saying " Nopony gave a reaction to this." is just bad gramma. That and they always react to Pinkie Pies randomness, you cant not, Its physically and mentaly impossible. :pinkiehappy:

but Princess Celestia is in Coltropolis right now for that festival.

Should be "for a festival" as you haven't mentioned it previously.

“It could happen right away or it could take a very long time.” again just a case of bad wording, it dosnt realy fit a doctors character so use phrases such as "a very long time"

“Oh, um, I’m sorry mare.”

Again bad wording, It would be like us saying "Oh I'm sorry female", get my point?

Also the text from the journal should be in Italics to prevent confusion.

Please don't think I'm trying to be mean or anything. I am quite liking this story so far. Im just pointing these things out so that you can improve for the future.

2434702

:fluttercry: But...I has good grammars!

Seriously though, I appreciate it. I do proofread this stuff before I post (honest!), but some things always slip through the cracks.

As far as the journal sections go, my original intention was to indent those sections in further to distinguish them from the rest of the text, but I couldn't find a way to make it stick on the site here so I resorted to putting extra spacing above and below it. I thought about italics, but wasn't sure if that was proper.

Spike gives her the sleepy drugs.

Ataxium: Discord materialized in liquid form

Seriously twi you pull spike away when nothing was happening, which created an opening for something to happen.:facehoof:

Oh noes! :twilightoops: Twilight, you need to give all your friends the syringes for protection!

FECAL MATTER JUST HIT THE ROTATING COOLING SYSTEM!!!

Ooh, interesting.

I also like that Mrs. Cake is getting a big role for once.

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