• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday


If a picture is worth a thousand words, then it takes a thousand words to paint a picture.


While out on a cutie mark crusade, the Crusaders happen upon a lone changeling on the edges of the Everfree Forest. After a scuffle the changeling finds itself injured and trapped in Ponyville. Seeing an opportunity to earn their cutie marks the girls take the changeling in, planning to teach it about Equestria.

However what they don't know is the changeling is actually the Commander to the Changeling Empire, and he has his own plans in mind.

But soon events play out for the four as they endure the aftermath of the Canterlot Invasion, and perhaps toughest of all: Each other. Lessons are learned and stories are shared between one another, leading the changeling to question its motives, and itself. Leading it to ask the biggest question of all:

"Can creatures that's special talent is to change its appearance, change in other ways...?"

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 317 )


I thank you for your honesty. :twilightblush: Tell me though, if you find the time to read it, could you maybe recommend where you think I should consider cutting the chapter?

Good story, but I think you may want to find a proofreader.

I'm open, I'm just waiting for offers. Unless you know where I can find some?

683391 Nope, sorry. I just read the fics. No idea what happens behind the scenes.

That's alright. Trust me though I plan on re-reading both chapters and editing them. I'll do everything I can to make this turn out at 100%.

This was very good. Its very funny. Nice concept. Youve got the CMCs down good, and the comedy is perfect. Dead Ringer is a interesting character and i kinda like how he and scoots have something in common. Looking forward to see how thats gonna play out.

As for the length, I found it perfect. Not too long but not too short leaving you wanting more. Also not much if any rambling or dragging something out. I tend to do that a bit myself.:twilightsheepish:

If your looking for a good place to cut this chapter up, I'd say just after the girls leave for the tree house maybe.

Please, keep up the awesome work. :pinkiehappy:

Mmmm, not a bad story so far... It doesn't really have as much meat on its paragraphs as I normally like in my story, but it really did a great job of keeping me interested and I'll definitely take a jab at that chapter 2 tomorrow when I'm not feeling so gosh darn tired. :pinkiesmile:

From first impressions alone, I'd say this story ranks in the high 3 star to low 4 star range. If I'm really impressed with the second chapter though, I'm sure a personal rating of 4.3 wouldn't be out of the question!

Dead Ringer must learn to stop taunting Murphy.

Given this huge chapter length, I'm dreading the wait for a new chapter, but DAMN is that an awesome-huge chapter. I love it.

I've heard of putting love into your food, but that's just crazy! :rainbowlaugh:


Well, that's Pinkie Pie for you. :pinkiehappy: Actually there a chapter that will explain how she makes cupcakes from scratch.

Thank you, you have no ideas how much that makes me feel :pinkiesad2:. I'm also glad you noticed that.

A few readers complained it was too long, and it was turing them away from it. Its still just ONE chapter, just split into parts.

Chapters this length are PERFECT, IMO, anywho I didn't see any spelling errors because I was not looking lol.

Love the story and I will patiently wait for more.

Aw I for one loved the long chapter length.

Eh oh well different readers have different tastes.

Also I must say that typing on an iPod is hella awkward.

Don't worry Dead Ringer, you won't be embaresing any other chagelings.

They're all dead. :twilightsmile:

Just for shyts and giggles:


*a squirrel in a nearby tree explodes, a tragic tale indeed*

(Typing on a touchscreen phone is fascinating yet frustrating)

687729 Read the revision of that part. :pinkiesmile: Looking much better! And thanks for taking my thought into account.

Yes, the CMC taking their leave, after telling it amongst themselves, makes their disappearence seem less sudden. :twilightsmile: (At least to me, and that's all that matters :pinkiecrazy:)

That's funny, I might actually use that. Is that okay?

Currently have one who's trying to get back to me. In the mean time updates have been made.

Any updates either to the story or progress?

The next chapter is almost done. What's taking so long is its longer then I expected it would be.Its currently 10,000 words, so I'm considering splitting it. But currently I have my editor looking at the first half, once she's done with that I'll update soon.

So just hang in there. :raritywink:

1068990 Pretty much my reaction when I was going through it...

Thanks for the awesome comment. :twilightsmile:

Another neat chapter.


It's about to get sweeter. :raritywink:


Liiiiiiiiike ChimeyCherryChonga sweet or Mazqapone Meringue Madness kind of sweet?

Hurr Hurr Hurr :pinkiecrazy:

“I promise, for as long as I’m here, no harm will come to you. And… to be your pupil, till I’m healed.” kinda poor choice of words. Great chapter by the way:pinkiehappy:

Thanks :twilightsmile:, but why a poor choice of words?

1072941 he said "no harm will come to them.", when he should have said "he will not harm them.":pinkiesmile:

Correct, but by saying that he's secured the promise that no harm will befall them while he's there. By saying it like that, he's assured that no harm will come to them from him, or other threats. *HINT HINT* :derpytongue2:

Dead Ringer: "What was that?"

Comment posted by Edragon deleted Dec 15th, 2012

Don't worry I'm working on the chapters. :raritywink:

The only things slowing me down is editing and a few things here and there.

Like the Alien refrens.

Hmmm, little surprised Cheerilee didn't push the subject, maybe waiting for a better time.
So Dead Ringer started off as kind of a failure eh? He must have really worked hard to get where he is...Oh no, what in Celestia's name did Ringer just find...I'm thinking a squirrel...

Pretty good chapter but despite it's length it didn't really feel like much happend...they got a bunch of books...and some cupcakes...Pinkie Pie would never allow for so much filler in a pastry.:rainbowwild:

Additionally there were a number of minor errors, mostly misspelled or missing words. Pointed out in context for ease of correction:
dusting his hands of any grim (I believe you mean grime)
“we’re here looking for a books to-”
release form wavering Twilight Sparkle (waving)
herself a certified therapists!
Cheerilee tilted her head as mind interpreted what she just heard.
Your,” Scootaloo paused.../cut for length/...cookie jar. “You're not upset over the whole scooter accident are ya?”
goodbye to the fluttered dragon. “Bye Spike! Thanks for the books!” (flustered)
brothers and sisters of they’re shared class. (their)
“Oh?” The part pony asked,
or in this a second pink pony munching on popcorn (this case?)
while Scootaloo was just tried to look
did I have to wear a apron
Your arguments invalid!” (argument is or arguments are)
newest visitor a invitation.

Well I'm sorry you feel that way about the chapter. But don't worry the next one will be shorter. Also thanks for the pointing out the errors.:scootangel:

You're welcome, and I don't want to sound like I didn't enjoy it, because I did (I wouldn't even be commenting if I didn't actually like reading this story.:rainbowwild:). Just ya know...eight thousand words to check out some books and buy cupcakes.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png
It's probably not even a complaint anyone else will share.

I know what your saying, don't worry. :twilightsmile:

But on a side note other stuff did happen that will factor into the story later, like with Pinkie's party and her little cupcake experiment.

But like I said we're both on cool. :rainbowdetermined2:

Login or register to comment