If you want this story, P.M. me; I'm done with this.
Meet, Fragment. A changeling with amnesia. With his memory loss adventure ending before it could begin he is brought before Princess Celestia who takes this lost changeling under her own wing in a hope to mend the two species' relations, but many trials will be had which will strain this changeling's trust between the hive he knows nothing about or the ponies that sheltered him. Fragment's past will pursue him as flashbacks slowly show him what his life used to be...
Cover art by sicher999! (dA page here!)
Thanks to Out of Place for helping with the description.
Chapters (31)
Well, I'll I say I've enjoyed it (a very interesting introduction and a very good original concept), but I know I could have enjoyed it a whole lot more if you fix these issues:
- Grammar and spelling. This is something that instantly should be resolved. Luckily it wasn't that bad, but these kind of problems should never be tolerated in a story.
- Discrepancy in setting and plot. Part way through it was suggested that he was a part of the changeling invasion of Canterlot, yet how would he have stumbled across the mane six this fast, since it's been expressed that the setting is Ponyville. This should be cleared up and defined. There are other examples but those I'll leave to you to find.
- Details. Always you can use more details, or utilize a variety of more vivid and interesting descriptions.
So, in short, keep this up, but do get an editor or a proofreader at the very minimum.
2533270
I'm glad you like it.
As for the grammar and spelling, I try my hardest to find and fix them. If you could point them out, I'd be graetful.
It will be explained how he got to ponyville, but that's long ways away from this.
You said it should be "cleared up and defined" can you please elaborate?
I try to get as much detail in as I can, but I admit sometimes I just hit walls.
And my editor/proofreader is my brother.
And speaking of grammar and spelling.
Grammar: "stumbled across the mane six this fast" I don't think that's the right 'mane'.
Spelling: "If you could point them out, I'd be graetful." I fucked up my own comment. *Facepalm*
I like what you have so far. I will agree that having someone read over your stuff before posting is always a good idea. However that will not always fix all problems. It takes guts to put your stuff out there. So enjoy the like from me and keep up the good work.
Please tell me why you dislike it when you dislike it. Thank you and good day.
Okay man. My first impression.
You made a good start and I hope you keep it up like this.
Don't rush yourself and take as much time as you need.
I liked the term ponikins. It is a good idea. I myself use manequines, but whatever.
I just found one error if you haven't decided to do it on purpose. At the end when Fragment made sure Fluttershy's name was really Fluttershy you wrote Fluttedrshy.
All in all a good startup.
Dragon
2543120
" ponikins" wasn't my idea. I just heard it somewhere (And can't for the life of me remember where) and thought it fit nicely.
And don't worry, I won't rush.
2543629
Good to hear.
I hope I'll get done with some chapters of my stories and some corrections and get my new story up. But that's way ahead.
Dragon
2567375
yay.
Good chapter. One or two gramatical errors, but nothing major.
I liked it.
Oh and if you are going to continue like this I'd think about adding a comedy tag. Fragment is clearly acting comedic here.
Dragon
2600201
I was originally going to use the comedy tag, but I was like "Nah, it's not that funny." But if you think it should be done...
You don't know?
Ok. Nice chapter again.
I could totally see fragments face in front of my inner eye when he looked at the book.
And when Striker Told him about the Daring Do books the scene from Spongebob Squarepants came to mind where Squidward was getting addicted to Krabby Patties and Spongebob just hit realization. I imagined Twilight having Spongebobs look on her face, saying: "You love Daring Do books don't you."
Again one or two errors, but nothing major.
I like this story more and more with each chapter.
Dragon
2600398
*See you said that about Chapter two* GRRRRRRAAAAAA!
Why can't I find those?!
Love you Rooby. :3
2600651
It's probably because you read it as your own story. You have to read it as if it is another authors story. This way you'll spot more mistakes and see what you can improove.
But don't worry, even if you don't find them they are to be looked over or someone will point them out eventually.
So don't worry and keep on writing.
Dragon
2638193
There is more yet to come!
You are an experienced writer, aren't you?
I found two or three grammatical errors, but nothing major. 
) 
Good chapter. Again.
When I think about your hesitation at the beginning and that you were saying something about attention span I'm impressed at your speed and talent in writing.
(I created a monster!!!!!
Hope to see more of this wonderful story soon.
Dragon
2638595
I thank you for your kind words. And despite how it may look, I really am inexperienced, based on that this is the first thing I've ever written.
As for the whole "two or three grammatical errors" thing, it seems like that's a trend I'll be keeping rather I like it or not.
as for "speed and talent," the speed is 'cause I've really been forcing myself to do this, and talent... I have no idea where that came from. And you didn't "create" a monster... you invoked a demon!
And chapter five will be out next Sunday at... whenever I get to it that day. (Chapter five is passed 6000 words!!!
)
2638653
My Little brother Satan won't be amused. He tried so hard to keep the deomns secret until we are ready for take over, but meh. One won't be noticed. Or?
Oh great. I woke a sleeping dog.
Dragon
2641855
I'll be noticed if I feel like it. Until then, happy hunting.
That's right Fragment, you need bookmarks, or just flipped the corner.
2666175
Wouldn't Twilight get pissed? they're her books.
2667055 Becaue every one totaly want to read 6 chapters about a guy siting on his ass and doing nothing.
2667701
ummm, is what you just said about the author's note or about what I said, 'cause if it's about what I said, then that makes no sense whatsoever.
2667758 the note BTW in case you did'nt know that comment was dripping was sarcasm (I think i spelled it right)
2667865
Well sarcasm can be hard to notice over the internet.
2667981 yeah Ifeel like shit nw and i dont know why.
2669702
Maybe you need sleep? Worth a shot, right?
Great chapter again my friend!
I laughed a lot and nearly shed a manly tear. Nearly.
I like how you do this. Better keep it up or I'll have to come over to you.
No really. Great story.
2669702
Happens when you use sarcasm on the internet and others don't get it. Trust me, it happens waaaay too often.
Dragon
That's not contradicting at all...
Anyways, this is a nice story concept that drew me in pretty much because I'm a sucker for changeling stories but it is one of the better ones. The intro is believable and falls in tune to each of the mane six's personalities which, of course, would leave the two most stubborn being sticks in the mud. I was tiring of the hospital chapters so it was a nice change to finally get out and finally get this story on the road after the foundation was set. I hope he does get some shape shifting done though, it'll be hilarious going on a pranking spree with Pinkie. It feels like it's just begun so good luck and keep up the good work, I'll be waiting. Oh and I suggest maybe spacing out that giant wall of text when he gets that flashback attack and visits the princess. It was just weird to me so it's not too big of a deal.
2699959
Fragment logic: contradictions don't apply to me! :D
I'm glad you're liking the story so far. And yeah, I didn't really like the hospital, mostly because I haven't seen an episode of house in a while so I don't really know what I'm saying/writing (
) , and also because it was just plain boring in there, so I hauled his ass out of there. 
And, oh yes, this has just, begun.
Awesome chapter again man!
Puhleeease. 
Time for some Blueblood overreaction Action.
Make him appear in the next chapter and scream like a little filly.
Dragon
2731612
You are the second to bring up my walls of unstopability, and therefore I shall try not to do that later. And I shall keep up the good work!
Require to read the comics? Is it just going to be references or is it going to be based off of the plot of the comics so I'd be absolutly lost if I didn't?
Good chapter again man. I start to feel with Fragment.
*Running away* Buuwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Heeeeeeeeeelp!!! Auntie Celestia they are here again!!!!' Running around the castle like the fool he is. Maybe with Celestia joining Fragment at some point, looking at him and asking: 'What happened?' With him replying. 'Don't know. He saw me without the hood and just freaked out. He's running all across the castle ever since. Uuum...I really don't want to be rude, but he is kind of dumb isn't he?' And Celestia just like: 'Eeeyup' and they both facehoof. 
On the issue with the likes and comments. Some readers only read and enjoy the story without giving Feedback. Others do.
It's nothing you should think about too much. As long as they like your story everything is just fine.
And now to the writing. I found nothing major, but you should consider tearing this walls of text apart. They are a bit too massive and with them split up the reading flow would be better. In the Story as they were in the garden you wrote 'she represents yadda yadda' the whole bearers up and down. I think It would've been a bit better if you'd started with
'bla represents the element of yadda, bli the element of humba, ..., humba tatara and I'm representing the element of magic.' You know not 'represents' all the time.
But this are minor flaws. All in all the story isn't loosing it's charm one bit.
Good job there man!
But please do me the favor and let Blueblood appear in the next chapter, shitting his vest. All like:
'Oh Tartarus!!!! A Changeling!!!!
I know big request, but I like him shitting his vest just too much.
Dragon
2731732
It seems my walls of text is getting to a lot of people, you're number three, so I'll do my best to avoid it later on. This blueblood thing again?
2731665
Some of the events coming up will be closely related to the comics. So yeah, you'd be lost.
Stop making me feel bad or not leaving reviews! I gave you a like!
2732594
Fine.
I was reading all the chapters before comentting. Really good so far
2731854
I like to see him suffer. 
Good thing.
With Blueblood? Too bad
Dragon
2737178
And imagine, I had to annoy him for quite a while until he made this. And it's great!
Dragon
2737571
We all have you to thank! :D
In chapter 2:
Who's Applejake?
I'll finish reading this later.
2748199
Thank you for bringing that to my attention. 
Ummm.... New OC?
2600398
It reminded me more of Miles "A-Anyone who keeps up with society at least knows this much!" Edgeworth.
i49.photobucket.com/albums/f278/katietiedrich/comic59.jpg
The Psyche-Locks mean he's lying.
2766570
Do I want to know?
Wat?