• Member Since 28th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

8_Bit


Loves to write, hates the paperwork | Ko-Fi

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Somehow, I've always known.


Cover artwork courtesy of Cloud-Drawings on DeviantArt.

My entry for the Dialogue-Only Contest!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 56 )
1n5aN1aC #1 · May 5th · · ·

Very interesting story!

Thanks for sharing.

Very good solution to the dialog challenge, it felt quite natural!

This just got better and better as I read along, very very creative solution to the only-dialogue challenge that played extremely well with the premise, of which you performed soo sneakily smoothly. Wonderful job with this! You made her feel quite real^^

This is some Ezio-Desmond shit and I loved every moment!

OP
OP #4 · May 5th · · ·

“I couldn't shake the feeling that the eyes watching me from the other side of the proverbial window might harbour ill intentions.”

Buddy, I got bad news for you.

Soaring #5 · May 5th · · ·

Now this is how you utilize dialogue. Thanks for the story, 8_Bit!

So it looks like Twilight found a way to communicate with a human world BESIDES Sunset Shimmer's adopted universe and the confessions. And, yeah, I could see an older Twilight recalling that much in her final years.

Fantastic!

That was super well done! And this is a really interesting writing format, having just pure dialogue, and a one-way dialogue at that. This is really unique; I can't remember reading anything else like it. Definitely liked and faved.

This is beautiful. If not for the meta aspect being taken in a fantastic direction, then for the way the story is told through the lens of Twilight, as a character looking upon their audience. Brings a whole new meaning to "breaking the fourth wall".

Very well done!

Wing #10 · May 6th · · ·

Beautiful. I clapped. :P

, and the Union of Librarians. Although, I don’t think you saw that last one, I don’t remember sensing your observation. Which is probably for the best, it took months of recovery and intensive therapy for me and my friends to come to terms with that ordeal.

Unless you have a sentient magical orangutan to show you the ropes, ambitious efforts to exploit L-Space can seriously backfire.

See you space cowboy.

Sunny #13 · May 6th · · ·

This is leaving me oddly bittersweet~ A wonderful framing mechanism.

At the same time, no story truly ends, silly pony. They just transform into something new

Right in the feels. Oof.

It’s a good pain, though.

Be me...
Discover MLP, binge the show. Fall in love with it, join the fandom.
Get into fanfics, find this one. Sob profusely until my eyes hurt.
Wack... 😵

Seriously though, even compared with emotional heavy hitters like My Little Dashie and The Titans' Orb, this one-hit-wonder is an instant classic, it genuinely had me feeling like Twilight was talking to me; you were able to evoke that feeling almost immediately, you're undeniably a top-tier writer and storyteller.
Thanks for making a grown man cry, I guess? :rainbowlaugh:

11897120
You should read Background Pony, a fandom classic. It will absolutely destroy you. It certainly hit me hard.

A more fitting farewell to My Little Pony than I could ever have imagined.

This is a masterpiece. It brought tears to my eyes. I hope you win.

This was a very nicely done tale, even if it took me a few lines to realize what was going on.
Still, the notion of Twilight Sparkle talking directly to me was quite a fascinating thought.

Thank you, thank you for this read. You have made my day brighter.

I now want a sequel where all is lost. Opaline is about to destroy Princess Twilight Sparkle and all she stands for. Then at the final stand off she just hears: "On your left"

Hundreds, if not thousands of bronies step across the threshold.

Make it happen. :rainbowkiss:

I don't care what other stories I may randomly come across that were written for this contest.

I don't care that I don't really like immortal Twilight in general. (However, I'm not entirely opposed to the ending of G4, though I probably would have preferred something else.)

This story, this one right here, deserves to win.

It skirts the boundaries of what's possible for this contest in the best way you could imagine, and it puts you in the story without any of the weirdness of "you did this; you did that."

And it was great.:twilightsmile:

Reminds me of “Songs of the Spheres”, this would be right at home in that world

Well, that was unexpectedly emotional and honestly therapeutic! I always did feel like I never really got to say goodbye to my friends when the show ended... They have a way of feeling like friends of yours as much as they are eachother's. (Well maybe not to *everyone,* but to my lonely butt certainly). In any case, I didn't realize how much I needed this, especially from Twilight in particular. She has always been there to inspire me, even if it was really only me who was seeking out her, not the other around, and even if "her" is just a cartoon character I've never had a conversation with. You really did do a great job making her feel real. Made me tear up.

Thank you.

PAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIN!!!

But a good pain. :pinkiesad2:

Generations Later:

Sunny Starscout feels like she's being watched.

Great story, definitely got me a bit choked up at points, wonderful writing :twilightsmile:

Goodbye, old friend.

Chills.

Oh wow, that was really something! Makes me want to mourn the show all over again :pinkiehappy: :pinkiesad2: :twilightblush: Nice work.

Wow.

Just wow.

I have gotten sick of the whole "Immortal Twilight" trope yet this was just wow. No "Human in Equestria" or "Anon" trash, you made Twilight address us, and that was very well done.

Goodbye to you too, Twilight.

This story really hit me where I needed it the most right now.

Even as just a story its touching hearing Twilight address the reader in this manner

I wonder if you still be greatful if you knew about the er fanart

Wow.

I am floored.

At first I just thought that the premise was interesting, but as I kept reading, I couldn't stop feeling my heart tearing little by little.
I'm way less implicated in the fandom today as I was before, only browsing here or on EqD sometimes, almost when I click on them by accident, so the line about the windows stopping opening really gut punched me.

This was really awesomely done, congrats to you.
And goodbye Twilight. I promise to keep opening windows to your past once in a while, to remind me of the good times we had together with your friends.

That darn Princess Sparkle... I just knew something or someone out there was poking at my Muse to write pony stories. Turns out it was her all along! :rainbowlaugh:

You are welcome Twilight. And thanks for allowing us to peek at your life. :twilightsmile:

Goodbye you wonderful purple unicorn who managed to reach the stars. I'm so glad I had the chance the witness your journey and please know that your lessons will forever guide my hand. For friendship is hard won but always worth the effort thank you for being so true and understanding.
Truly in such a lonely age lessons in friendship are golden, united we stand stronger then our parts.

“The completion of my machine allowed me to project my magic from my world into yours. And… well, manipulate you into opening the window under the guise of your own free will. Sorry, again. In your mind, the idea of ‘oh, that looks like it might make for an interesting story, I think I’ll give that a go’ might have felt like your own volition but… yeah. That was me, poking around and pressing the right buttons to lead you here. For the third time, sorry. But it worked, right?

...
You think that
However twilight
You have much to learn about the omniverse and Imagination's Grace

"Our story is ending now. And for what it’s worth, I hope it was a good one."

Yet twilight
Your world is not yet over
amother story has begun on your timeline

11898667
Indeed
Perhaps it is time for us to reach back into hers

Galgus #38 · May 8th · · ·

This was wonderful and unique.

This was very creative and interesting, I have to say. Great job. The mere thought of Twilight addressing the reader is both intriguing and downright unsettling.

Thanks for this one. Good read.

”And, might I add, you had been watching me for years before I even became close to being aware of the exact nature of what was really happening, so I kinda think that the two acts cancel each other out in terms of ‘you did this to me’ versus ‘I did this to you’. I think we can call things even, don’t you?

No... no, we really can't - the two acts are not equal at all, both because of the inherent difference between violations of privacy vs voilations of autonomy (I mean, much as I'd hate to have my mind read, I'd take it over it being controlled, even in a small way) and, more pertinently, because of intentionality.

Like, within the conceit of the story, if Twilight could observe us enough to determine our species, I can't see that there's any way for her not to know that we considered her and her world fictional and, thus, "looking in" would be no more morally questionable than Twilight reading her own books. I mean, if there's a tiny, invisible and undetectable civilization that you kill by stepping on it while walking down the street, that's absolutely horrible, but it doesn't make you evil for not avoiding something you had no way of knowing about.

Not to mention that, however her fourth-wall-bypass works, it clearly interacts with this site in some capacity, so it'd be easier for her to manipulate it to get it within our sights and maximise the chances of us reading it rather than directly forcing us to. Heck, I think that'd actually strengthen the overall point of the story - rather than "I made you read this but it's okay and also sorry", it'd be "I got this into your sights and knew I could trust you to show up." Maybe that's just me - sorry if that seems prescriptive or like I'm complaining because the story wasn't what I wanted it to be, just kinda my thoughts.

Still, even with some logical hiccups and concerning implications, this was a nice story. An interesting idea and neat little coda to things, despite my personal distaste for post-canon-ending stories. Best of luck in the contest.

8_Bit #41 · May 8th · · ·

11898915

I mean, this is a totally valid conclusion to come to. In short, there was a lot of tangents and train-of-thought musings I wanted to include that, while in-character for Twilight, had to be removed for the sake of word limit. I even included the ‘sorry, going off on a tangent’ line in a nod to that.

One of the things that had to be trimmed down was a deeper explanation of Twilight’s reasoning in regards to this issue. In the end I settled on having it be a ‘less is more’ type of explanation and let people feel how they will about it. Even as a princess, my imagining is that she’d maintain a ‘ends justify the means’ type approach that we saw often in the show.

Plus… your idea never occurred to me! :twilightsheepish:

But also thank you for seeing the virtues in spite of issues with certain passages! An outside opinion is always appreciated :heart:

okay this is my first time on this site i like 6 months and this is the one i open to
well done

Operation Fourth Wall forbids me from reading this story. Agents will be dispatched to explain to her why outside interference like she tried to pull is no longer permitted in our universe. (For context: DC's Crisis on Infinite Earths canonically destroyed us in a wave of antimatter, and we stayed destroyed until Final Crisis. Reconciling that with the World as Myth when I was born during the period in question is a task)

Damn, this really felt like saying goodbye to an old friend.

Damn, this one hits personal--cathartic and therapeutic. I nearly cried.

Bravo.

Wow... Man, my HEEEAAAAART!!!! I love Twi so much, I miss Gen 4 constantly.

Still, we had a good run, didn't we? Makes it easier to move forward when you have something good to look back on.

Amazing story, can't say it enough.

Man...

Can't help but smile

Very impressed you managed to make her talk for so long, (or, well, how she talked for so long) staying in character. Very well done.

ibanix #50 · May 12th · · 7 ·

Eh.

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