• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

PatchworkPoltergeist


Some dork on the internet that likes ponies and flower symbolism way too much.

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Three days ago, Cozy Glow went on a mission to infiltrate Cloudsdale and sow dissent in a grand conspiracy to turn the tribes of Equestria against each other.
On a completely unrelated note that is absolutely none of Tirek's business, Cozy has also been awake for three nights straight.

Also, someone really needs to do something about that corpse in the sitting room. It's becoming a health hazard.


Submitted for the Cozy Glow Short Story Contest #4. Prompts used: "Cozy Has A Secret", and "Cozy VS Bedtime".

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

Patches strikes again!

I had a blast editing this one, and particularly with Cozy's blatant 'Nuh-uh, am so a mature villain with no issues!' denial.

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Second. Patchwork's fics are always a delight, but she has a special talent at rendering the behaviour of foals and adolescent Ponies - even when said youths happen to be psychotic criminal masterminds ...

Chrysalis stomped her regal hoof. “I order you to cease feeling badly this instant!”

Amazing line for her right there.

Waiting for Grogar by Samuel Buckitt.

A curious—and nauseating—function of Equestrian pony biology was the ability to widen their already enormous eyes. In the way snakes unhinged their jaws, a pony eye stretched to impossible size so that the pupil caught every sparkle of light. A defense mechanism against aggressors to twist weak hearts into stilling their attack.

Man, that's brilliant.

A superb look at the... not friendship, but something kinda similar between the villains. And a very nice delve into Cozy's character!

Do I notice hints of G5 sprinkled in there, too?

I spent day one in this suburb, some gated community that’s half clouds and half mountain. Zephyr something.

Great detail. Plus it means that we avoid the surreal nightmare that is Zephyr Heights getting named after Fluttershy's brother.

"Hm. Type Hideous or Subtype Draggulous?"
He scoffed. “Type Hideous. Obviously.”

Subtype Reekan wasn't even worth mentioning.

Brilliant work in exploring these three, especially how they orbit the edges of a healthy relationship while never actually falling into friendship's gravity well. The princesses doing the worst thing they could to Cozy while trying to do her a favor is almost painfully perfect for every pony involved. A great read from start to finish; thank you for it.

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Subtype Reekan wasn't even worth mentioning.

I'm so delighted that someone caught this.

The princesses doing the worst thing they could to Cozy while trying to do her a favor is almost painfully perfect for every pony involved.

It's something I can see as the best idea at the time. The problem with Cozy is that assuming she's not having a bad day and off her game, she's a good liar and an even better manipulator. In normal prison (assuming Equestria DOES have an actual prison system) she'd be in a mix with dozens if not hundreds of new ponies to play with, all of whom already have criminal records. Assuming she doesn't talk her way into parole early. Or both. There's the option of solitary but...I mean that's essentially what Tartarus is already. Except the being next to Tirek part.

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Do I notice hints of G5 sprinkled in there, too?

(:

You really caught their voices, and I do like the villain friendship. I wrote a story myself in which Tirek realizes with dismay that he cares a little about Cozy. (It's a script, so it'll never be on fimfiction.) That seems to me to be the most likely of the 6 possible X-likes-Y scenarios. He's the most-mature, observant, & thoughtful of the three.

I was tripped up a little by the POV bouncing back and forth between Tirek & Cozy. I think most people using omniscient POV explicitly call out who's thinking what, but I haven't used it in so long I don't remember. It might be stronger if it were all Tirek's POV, because the strongest storyline (out of several being juggled here!) is his changing thoughts and feelings towards Cozy.

Or I might just be too tired and not reading straight.

This is a really fun exploration of tbe late-series rogue's gallery. Impeccable character work.

Someone on my blog wondered if Chrysalis is Pozzo, where's her Lucky Boy?

Chrysalis's Lucky is the Hive, which rings an interesting change on Beckett.

Chrysalis has lost the Hive and she knows that intellectually. But she can't acknowledge it emotionally because it would destroy her pride, her amour proper, her sense of self. She can't do that.

Not least, I guess, because she knows on some level that if she were to allow it to happen, she'd be converted like the rest of the Changelings. And only through a broken heart/ Can Lord Christ Friendship enter in.

This is amazing! I love stories that expand on relationships and give the reader better appreciation for the characters.

Also this line is fantastic

She feared him the way a tiger feared a speeding train; they only mattered when you stood in their path.

Tirek's got it right and wrong - Cozy has a way out if she wants, but there's no way she's going to play nice. She just wants to see the world burn.

I really liked this story - tight, good pacing, and the characters did what they would do :)

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