• Member Since 31st May, 2020
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago


I make both fanart and fanfic. I draw all my cover images myself, and I take art and writing commissions!


A world with no alicorns is a world with no hope. But after years of searching, Sunburst might finally have found a little patch of sunlight.

Written for the QnS genre swap contest, second place winner.

TW: Some mild gore.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Oh, that is beautiful. Reads like an opening to a good fantasy novel, and makes your imagination go wild. Respect.

This was exactly my thought when I read it in the contest! A prefect prologue before we flash forward to the main story.

Lovely work. Great atmosphere, smoothly folded-in world building, and a fantastic high note to end on. Thank you for it.

this is such an atmospheric work. been thinking abt it ever since it dropped

Comment posted by AvoidingFever17 deleted Jul 11th, 2023

It's strange to discover a "new" author this good, and then find he/she/they've been around for 3 years, and published 63 stories.

This is good stuff. Fresh Coat is good, too. Maybe I should visit fimfiction more.

this has a lot of scale to it, it feels big

This was really excellent. So much packed into such a short story.

Dark and beautiful. If a sequel is ever published, I'm reading it because this was an amazing piece of writing.

Please, for all that is great and good, tell me you plan to expand upon this one! Please? Pretty please? With Sugar and cherries and apples on top?!

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. LOVED this execution. A great mix of simplicity among the complexity of the world-building: that goodness and hope that ponies are bound to bring. Gods, what a wonderful read.

This seems like a careful first step into something grander. If you were just testing the waters, I hope my comment and everyone else's reassures you of the great potential for a larger story here, one you could very well pull off. You've captured and sense of fantasy and reverence for the world that recalls a sense of high fantasy, with all its mystical elements and still keeping with a human element of realism to the setting. Your prose evokes those images of grand and tragic decline while hinting at both a rich past and describing a melancholic present. You don't fall behind either in the physical representations of the world; there was some gruesome stuff here that didn't feel gratuitous or unnecessary, but which served the story's effect greatly. Most importantly of all, you got me to care about your protagonist in so little time and made me invested in the outcome of his new relationship with Flurry Heart. While the story does hold on its own, I think there are a lot of possibilities here if you were to continue it. At the very least, the skill displayed here indicates a bright future for your writings, be they related to this or to something else. Great job!

Kinda morbid, and yet strangely hopeful in the end. Not trying to beat a dead horse or anything, but if this does turn out to be the prologue to some larger story, I would definitely want to check out the latter.

Consider me deeply enthralled.

I like this. Clicked on your story because I wrote a D&D campaign for ponies in a post apocalyptic world where the sun and moon are just stuck in place like this. That idea just freaks me out.

I see that 'Flurry Heart' is tagged but not named in the story. I assumed the newborn is Flurry but then it occurred to me that the mother could have been Flurry. Also, I guess this means that Sunburst is going to name Flurry Heart, Flurry Heart.

I agree with those below. This feels like an excerpt from something grander that explores both the past history as well as where things go moving forward.

Absolutely fantastic work here, your writing is impeccable! Like others have said, if you have any desire at all to expand this world/write a sequel, and this was just to test the waters, please do!

There is an older fic about that, one of first I read and pnw that got me into the fandom back then. You might find it interesting, just keep in mind it was written during first season so alicorns were seen as gods https://www.fimfiction.net/story/20/antipodes.

It is rare to see that take nowadays so I am glad we still get such takes on the whole lore.

Working through your entire repertoire here continues. :)

This is such a great story. I know I said it in my original comment, but your writing is incredibly effortless to read. Over 2,000 words just pass like calm breathing. I get caught on clunky prose and descriptions very easily, and I'm definitely a movie-in-my-mind's eye kind of reader. Being able to write so immersively, and to maintain that immersion throughout to the point that the end leaves you feeling bereft? That's a real artform, and a real skill.

Anyway, all your excellent writing skills aside, this kind of what-if AU story has always been what draws me to fanfiction. I have a lot of questions about the 'how' and 'why' of this one, in a good way, haha. If you ever expand this one, I am hella down to read it.

man i wish all the comments here didnt say this, because i have 0 ideas or time on how to expand this :fluttercry: i didnt expect it to do so well

Login or register to comment