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William is a human that suddenly appears in equestria. He doesn't know what's going on, but somehow the ponies immediately recognize him by his name, and take him to meet the princess.
He didn't do anything yet, and everypony already knows his name, or that's what he thinks.
Situated in the middle of season five.
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If you are using the image of The Little Prince, many will presume that this somehow is a crossover of the well beloved story.
11240997
I'm not, at all.
As I said the story is already planed, so the image will make sense later
11241121
I see. As you were then.
11241121
Are you ever going to write a The Little Prince crossover story?
11251109
Maybe yes
Is a good idea
But that would ruin what I've planned for this one.
Be patient ;)
Young female equines are fillies, young males are colts
11251438
Oh, I didn't know that.
Thanks.
Update quickly
11282827
It's a statement, or a petition?
11282884
If you update it today, it's a statement.
Otherwise, we will miss it forever.
11241190
Well, if you were reading the story, now you understand why.
It was a surprise ;)
11302979
Okay.
Will there be a second story of the legend returns, after you finish the prequel?
11307415
Yes, I'll continue the story in a second season.
But after it, I planned a last sequel story called: 'The legend ends' that will take place in g5.
And if you ask, I had too much free time during the pandemic, as well as 2021. That's why planned all of this in my head, but never tried to show it before.
Until now :)
11307429
Ok, sounds good.
Keep up the great work.
You think with him being a hero they would have learned a few things beyond the fact he saved the princesses.
11322725
Like what?
The little prince was always a little weird but not as bad as some of the adults he met.
Boooo! Bad ending! He should have saved humanity instead of being a dirty species traitor.
11344059
Well, that was exactly the plot. He was fighting with himself, trying to decide if saving humanity was worth the price of killing all ponies. Eventually, he reaches the conclusion that those ponies were still human at the inside, and decides to save them.
Also, 'saving' humanity will mean killing his friends, and that's not right anyways.
11344112
He chose poorly.
So? You only count as a human if you are a human on the outside.
Killing off humanity is also not right, that's why I called him a dirty species traitor.
Should I read the sequel? Will he realize his mistake and try to save humanity in another way that doesn't kill ponies? Or will it be like those shitty TCB stories where ponies win, exterminate humans and everyone is okay with it?
11344148
It is a prequel, so you'll probably understand it better.
11344151
Meh, I'll pass then. No need to read a story if you know, no matter what happens in it, it's gonna have a bad ending with a human genocide.
11344155
As you wish :)
My Little Reviews & Feedback I did this review.
11251115
Now that both this story and the prequel is complete, will you do that crossover?
11416361
Since I finished the prequel, which is an achievement for me, it's time to make the last season of "A Legend Returns".
I just place the "complete" tag just in case I never actually make the second season.
I'm hoping the later chapters are better and I think I can put up with it, but you seriously need to work on your grammar. Nearly every paragraph has at least one grammar issue of some sort.
Other than that, I say it's pretty good so far.
The hard thing is Owlen is technically born from William's own emotions so that means at least a small part of him blames Celestia and Luna, even if it's not much. He is his demons
Owlen's character is basically Chysalis'
I feel like this would've been a good story to use in canon for bronies that wanted it more mature
11344059
as he said, he didn't betray humanity, he simply helped them evolve
Is anyone else getting Midnight Sparkle vibes here?
Hmm, no you didn’t 😂 But I still wanna see what happens next 😊 (please get an editor!!!!!!!)
11251472
Yes. Also, to refer to baby horses in general (like a baby cow is a calf, or a baby goose is a gosling), that’s called a “foal.” The term “foal” is commonly used in FimFiction lingo to mean “child” or “fool” (by the villains)
11587373
I meant that I improved from how I write before. I used to write even worse. 😅
11506057
Agreed. Humanity never died. The outside changed, but not the inside
11344155
Given that your username is literally “Time Waster”and all your comments have exactly 5 likes, my guess is that you literally spend your days wasting time hating on perfectly good stories (even if the grammar needs help, the content is good), trolling for the sake of trolling, and using alts to look like people agree with you when, in fact, no one does. So see ya later sucker, imma just enjoy the story like everyone else 😊
I’d say your grammar has indeed improved, but it’s still not perfect. 😊 Great turn of events!
My opinion
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
11587496
I named myself Time Waster as a joke because reading fanfics is a waste of time that could be used much more productively. People keep asumming I'm a troll just because I have a bit of taste when it comes to fics instead of blindly praising everything regardless of its quality. You only registered a month ago, so I can't blame you for not having any standards when it comes to stories.
As for your moronic "theory", this story has 13 downvotes, it's not hard to imagine some of them agreed with my reasons for not liking this story and upvoted my comment. Furthermore, I've left plenty of comments on this site that have less than 5 upvotes or none at all. Claiming I have an alt is as absurd as claiming you have an alt because all of your comments sans one have an upvote.
If you like stories about humans getting genocided, more power to you, but don't assume everyone who doesn't like it is a troll.
11587844
First off, my current account is a month old, but I’ve been reading quality fanfics since I was 13 and am an editor for several stories (I’m 20 now and had to quit most of them because I have a real life with a real job and friends to hang out with, leaving my only story on this account on hiatus). I didn’t call you a troll because you disliked the story, anyone is allowed to dislike a story for their own reasons. I called you a troll because you didn’t give any REAL constructive criticism. You just called the author names, made stretched accusations, and couldn’t be bothered to actually consider all the options objectively. The lines are never as clear as “oh, humanity died? Bad story.” Ethics/morals are very complicated and people are still trying to understand right and wrong.
William didn’t end humanity on purpose, that was an accident.
Humanity didn’t die, they shifted forms.
They had all the same intelligence, sentience, and emotions as humans, just no opposable thumbs and some can fly or use magic.
Your inability to acknowledge that humans didn’t die is what really shows that you don’t actually have any class or refined taste at all, you’re just opinionated and closed minded fixed only on what you want to see and hear.
My “moronic theory” as you call it is not based on any other comments you have left on this site, but the fact that every comment you’ve left have EXACTLY the same number of unusually high likes when they weren’t even particularly insightful or constructive (nor does this story have that much traffic). I believe this story only has so many downvotes because of the terrible grammar (as with most fics with an author with great ideas, but also a desperate need for an editor). But again, that is justified by the author not knowing English very well. However, they genuinely want to improve and gain experience and advice on how to improve their English from other English writers. You want nothing more than to tear someone down for something that didn’t happen.
It’s not what’s on the outside that matters, it’s what on the inside that counts
(Another note, if your mind isn’t sharp enough to autocorrect the grammar/spelling to actually understand the story, don’t judge it. English is not the author’s first language, so they write fanfics to improve their English skills. Some REAL criticism is appreciated, hate is not. Before you accuse someone BLINDLY of having “no standards”, perhaps consider if your own standards are really standards at all.)
11618787
You sure you're not confusing me with someone else? I didn't call the author names. Not once. I only insulted the character in the story.
It always is
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Accidental murder is still murder.
I'm... trully baffled that you don't see the difference. Are you trolling me? Like, do you think other sapient creatires are humans too? If aliens showed up tomorrow, eradicated humanity and settled on the planet, you'd be completely okay with it just because they have the same intelligence and emotions as humans?
Will you be okay if someone sliced all your limbs off? After all, you're still the same on the inside, your form just changed a bit.
I never judge a story by its grammar, so I'm not sure why wrote that part.
I did, on his other story. Gave it an upvote too.
11618830
I’m surprised YOU still don’t get this. Let’s say you woke up tomorrow and you were suddenly green and had four legs instead of two. Literally everything about your being is still the same, you just have more legs and look different, but nothing else has changed and you are very very alive.
Or better yet, what if you woke up one day and became a different race? Your example is not even close to the same as what’s happening here.
What happened was THE OUTSIDE CHANGED FORM, BUT THE PERSON IS STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE (humans weren’t killed and then replaced by totally different ponies, they changed shapes! They still continued to live their lives, just differently)
The human that could MAYBE be considered killed was Osvaldo, and even HE’S still alive after all. Literally no one has actually died of anything in this story but old age (and Covid in the prequel). Serious think this through before you make another angry comment about a human wife genocide that never actually happened (in story and in real life).
No one died. Understand that. No. One. Died.
That’s what you’re overlooking.
Changing the outside didn’t kill them (like cutting off all of someone’s limbs might do, unless you’re Anakin), it changed their appearance and forced them to live without opposable thumbs.
Was the transformation annoying? Yes.
Deadly to anyone except William and Osvaldo? No.
11618949
Changes to someone's body without their consent are wrong and immoral.
Homo Sapiens Sapiens ceased to exist. That's genocide. The story itself confirms humans are extinct as a species multiple times:
Also there's dozens of definitions of genocide. It's not just killing members of a group. UN definitions apply here:
1. Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group
2. Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group
In the first minute of the mass transformation, millions would have died.
There's almost ten thousand planes in the air and millions of cars speeding on the road at any given time. Most of them would die from being unable to control vehicles with their new bodies. Then billions would starve because the modern population can only stay fed because of global farming. Nuclear power plants would go kaboom without supervision in a couple years so that's a few billions more. Equestria's official map is tiny. No way eight billion ponies could fit there.
We know society collapsed in less than ten years:
So all of what I said is true.
Futhermore, genocide is not limited to a race. It also includes religions, cultures and nations.
In the story there's only Equestria; it speaks one language and has one culture. Hundreds of nations, thousands of religions, tens of thousands of cultures are completely erased and forgotten in less than a decade. That's worse than Hitler, Mao and Vlad the Impaler combined. William is officially the worst human to ever live lol. Also didn't Celestia have the ability to turn ponies back into humans in the prequel? She is complicit in human extinction since she didn't reverse it. Guess she is just as evil as ancient alicorns then:
So unless the author is playing 5d chess and plans to bring back humanity in future chapters, William is super evil.
Osvaldo is completely in the right. I hope he wins and kicks William's ass. WOOO! GO OSVALDO, GO!
11619286
In the context you’ve mentioned, I have to say I agree. Genocide by the definitions you’ve listed happened and people definitely died in car/plane/nuclear crashes. To be clear, I never said that people didn’t die in car accidents. Even someone else mentioned something about that being a likelihood. I simply meant the actual act of turning into a pony/unicorn/pegasus did not remove anyone’s soul or change their inner humanity. Before, it sounded like you were saying that the people died and were replaced by inhuman equines that weren’t the same as the people they replaced, so I simply tried to explain that they were still the same inside. But I think you get that now and elaborated intelligently on what you actually meant by human genocide.
Tbh, you could’ve just led with that. Most people only know the one kind of genocide, and that’s the murder of multiple people (as opposed to homicide, the murder of one person, and suicide, the murder of oneself.) There may be dozens of definitions for genocide, but please keep in mind that most people don’t know them, and please have mercy when someone doesn’t know everything you know.
As for the rest of the points, while the concept that what happened was worse than Hitler and those other two I don’t know about combined, it removes one very very important factor: context
I know the pertinent facts about Hitler relating to this story: he was a supremest intent in creating a pure world starting with having a world with only the supreme race (German). He also sought out to kill all the Jews because they had killed Jesus and he thought he was doing the Will of God by killing the people who killed Him.
William on the other hand was only trying to protect his little sisters (quite possibly at the inevitable expense of his own life in a magic battle) from a man intent on using them to create infinite power (allegedly to save humankind, but I noticed that becoming all powerful and viewed as a hero seemed to be a vice as well). If you have any family in your life that you care so deeply about that you would do anything to protect them, you will understand this sentiment. Also, William cannot see into the future. He had no way of knowing that any of this was going to happen by trying to defend his own life and the life of his family.
It’s easy for us to say that a different decision could’ve been made now that we have seen the aftermath, but if you were in his shoes, you probably would’ve been fighting for your life as well (after all, we all want to live). Magic at this time is still very new and little is known about it except that it is tied to your emotions. So again, there was no way of predicting that humanity was going to be destroyed in the aftermath of the battle. At best the only predictable assumptions that could be made would be that William and Osvaldo would both die, or just William would die and leave Luna and Celestia to fend for themselves against him, or Osvaldo will die and the world would move on as it was, but with two alicorns in its world.
Now that we have a comparison for the differing environments in which disaster occurred, we must also take into account the universe in which this is occurring and what the story is about.
If we assume this world is not tied to the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic TV series, and that it is an entirely alternate universe that does not have to completely follow the canon of the TV show, then yes the ending is less than desirable. However, we must take into account that this is an MLP:FiM fanfiction (which, by the way, does not have an “alternate universe” tag on it, which means that the author intends to follow the canonicity of the original TV series), and that certain canon will remain the same even in fanfiction. To explain what I mean, I need to explain what the story is.
As noted by at least one other commenter, this is an origin story. There are several questions the story silently asks and answers that most people never think about: where did Celestia and Luna come from? How did Equestria form? Where did the sapient ponies, pegasi, and unicorns come from (as well as all the other magical creatures, for that matter)? But most important of all why are there no humans in Equestria?
This story is not about “how William and Osvaldo decided to put their differences aside and save humanity instead of in advertently destroying it”, it’s an origin story of why the existing world of Equestia is the way it is. So no matter how you think it should end it can never end with humans remaining existing. Every variation of this story will end with an extinct humanity, because there are no humans in the TV series world. This is a story about where Celestia and Luna came from, how pony kind came to be and what happened to the humans.
If it was up to most people, a story like this would not exist, because most people don’t ask questions like “why Equestria has no humans”, because that’s not the important part of the show. It’s naturally assumed in the series that there were never humans in Equestria and that it’s an alternate universe in which there are ponies, unicorns, pegasus, and magical alicorns. This author, however, takes the approach that the equestrian world we know is, in fact, our current world, but 20,000 years into the future.
Speaking of 20,000 years into the future, you mentioned that different cultures, languages and religion all disappeared in less than 10 years. However, the story never actually says that that happened in less than 10 years. They said society fell in less than 10 years (which would be our current technology and development. Basically, the world just got reset to the medieval era). Also, I’m not sure if you ever saw the movie, but there are definitely other places, cultures, and probably languages in the My Little Pony universe (Twilight breaking down after stealing the pearl and betraying kindness for probably the first time as princess of friendship: we’re not in Equestria anymore! How we did things back at home doesn’t apply here! ~ or something like that). It is not just the Equestrian nation.
In fact, the Crystal Empire is a kingdom all its own, and is not considered a part of the Equestrian nation (You can’t overthrow the king of an empire you already rule. There is no implication that he was put in power there by Celestia and Luna, so there is no implication that the Crystal Empire belongs to them in anyway or their borders). This knowledge is based on the fact that when Twilight Sparkle was trapped in the time loop she noticed in one of those futures that the Crystal Empire took up most of Equestria, but she did not imply that it was part of the Equestrian borders.
Just because the series doesn’t really cover the rest of the Earth, doesn’t mean there aren’t other cultures, languages, or worlds out there. We are essentially only exploring the “American equivalent” of the MLP:FiM world.
As for the lack of religions, that could pretty much just be boiled down outright to it’s a TV series, and they need to keep it pretty neutral on that account to avoid offending people. So, if you have an issue with the lack of diversity in this universe, complain to the show’s creators, not the author who is working within the existing canon. Within this particular story’s canon, another explanation is that in the span of 20,000 years, most or all religions phased out.
If you still remember most of the series, there’s a lot more diversity of different types of cultures than you think.
We have New Yorkers (Manehattan. Yes, I just defined New Yorkers as an entire culture. Though, “culture” isn’t necessarily limited to just a nationality or ethnicity), Africans (Zecora. The zebras likely represent this or some other non-white ethnicity, but I can’t remember exactly what that would be), any and all country folk (Applejack and all her family/extended family, duh), the dragons could be considered Asian given the history between dragons and Asian culture, and I have no idea what the yaks are supposed to be or the griffins, but the point remains the same that it is not just one type of species with one type of language, and one culture. That episode about the yaks visiting Equestria and the major culture difference/struggle made that pretty clear.
I’m pretty sure every creature speaks English for the sake of the TV show, but in fandom they do have native languages aside from English (or Ponish in fandom and maybe it was mentioned as such in the series somewhere as well).
You strike me as a reasonable guy, though, you’ve been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me…
“I’m actually a pretty positive guy.” ;Proceeds to be negative.
Said something that makes sense and that I could kind of agree with; proceeds to say much more stuff that I don’t agree with and makes himself look ignorant.
Finally explains properly what was meant and makes a sound and intelligent argument while teaching me something new; proceeds to act like he’s not a hard-core My Little Pony fan and has not seen the series or movie and ignores/overlooks/or outright never read deeply enough to notice what the story is actually about and what the canon is, thus looking ignorant again+having a questionable moral compass… 🤦🏻♀️
None of this was said to offend you, though I suspect it could have, unless you possess the thick skin you’re so convinced everyone else doesn’t 😂. But for real, you have shown to accept constructive criticism, so thank you for that (I just didn’t want to assume you don’t have feelings and just not at least admit the fact that it could have hurt your feelings). This was only to point out the flaws in your own argument in a way that you can learn from next time.
Pay more attention to the context of a story and the lore being used, be kinder with your words because you never know what someone may be going through (What you may mean as a joke may not translate through a static text. When I read your comments that you said were just playful banter in a playful tone, I could actually see that being taken lightly as just a joke like you said and not bothering me. However, tone is not easily detected in text. You cannot write the same way you speak, but rather, need to be more descriptive in the actual mood your text is meant to imply. Or just use a laughing emoji to imply you were just kidding and not being serious or hurtful), be constructive from the get-go, not vague or assuming that people understand what you’re trying to say (You have to admit, “Boo! Bad ending!” is pretty vague and doesn’t really explain what you actually mean or what it is you think needs to be fixed. You should also have mentioned from the get-go which definition of genocide you meant since most people only know the most common one).
This looks super long on my phone and it probably is, but I hope you actually read all of this and I hope we both learn something new. I genuinely can’t wait to see what you write someday and I hope you consider my idea of making blog posts highlighting your favorite stories as I am interested in what your personal taste is (obviously, you prefer Equestrian worlds in which there are humans living alongside the ponies… or at least dislike worlds that get rid of humans in Equestria). This whole argument/debate/whatever you wanna call it actually inspired an alternate universe, fanfic based in the same (sort of) universe as the William series.
(You can read this later if you want. It’s like 12:35am where I am now. Been dealing with light insomnia. In fact, it was 3:00am when we first started our argument/debate)
Synopsis: Basically, instead of Osvaldo being hell-bent on trying to suck the magic out of Celestia and Luna to use for himself for saving the world, he decides to work with Celestia and Luna together to save the world. After what he’s done to them, he does have to earn their trust over time. But, he eventually proves himself to be a good guy and Celestia and Luna work with Osvaldo to learn how to master their magic in a safe lab environment (since one major concern was their magic causing disastrous problems. Osvaldo clearly has the resources needed to create a safe training environment that’ll keep their magic inside the building), and use it to fix the major problems in the world (after all, this is their home too now, so if it needs saving, they’ll be glad to do whatever they can!).
This is completely doable because Celestia and Luna end up literally fixing the solar cycle after Discord messed it up, the agriculture of their country seems to be thriving and I haven’t noticed any hunger issues in Equestria, Equestrian currency is literally gold coins and the dragons eat gems like they’re just candy and not precious stones worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars (so it looks like with Celestia and Luna‘s help their economy could boom and solve poverty), and basically Celestia and Luna have all of the capabilities needed to (of their own freewill) save humanity and the planet in just the way Osvaldo wanted it to be saved. Sure, Osvaldo may not get the main title of hero, however, if saving the world was his only concern, then whether or not he receives a title should not matter. A true hero does not demand a reward. This story would be made to solve my biggest issue with the character of Osvaldo, which is if he just worked with Celestia and Luna instead of against them, there would be no need to kill them, no reason for William to try and protect them, no reason for the battle to have ever happened, and then humanity would never have gone extinct (which was your big issue with the story). The story would be an alternate universe/alternate ending of this story taking a different approach since you opened up the idea. This is based in a series literally called “friendship is magic”, so there should be a friendship aspect in the story. As far as this Osvaldo goes, to quote Mirage, “next time you gamble, bet on your own life.” In other words, if you want to save the world, sacrifice your own life, not someone else’s. (After all, who is a real hero? Someone who hangs from a cliff and sees a little girl about to fall, but he saves her at the expense of his own life? Or, is it someone who is holding up two girls on a cliff, but purposefully drops one child to pull up the other one? Likely, nobody would care that he saved one girl if it came at the expense of another girl’s life, which was disposed of knowingly. It would’ve been preferable that they all died or that some way be found to call help to the man to help him pull them both up).
Depending on when Osvaldo decides to try to work with Celestia and Luna will determine whether or not the battle still happens or not. I think if I decide to have him reform after the battle, I’ll change the effects of the magic to more of a Thanos snap/blip type thing where half of humanity becomes ponies and all that stuff and the other half remain humans, creating a world in which humans and ponies coexist (so no humans go extinct, but we explore an interesting concept of “what if humans and ponies lived together in the same world?”).
I’d need the author’s permission of course to use her universe and characters, but the story should be fairly unique from its original since it will have events that are entirely different and strongly deviate from the original story. (I’ll also obviously still give credit to the original author of the “William-verse” and refer them to this story if they would like some context.)
P.S. about Celestia not changing the ponies back into humans: I’m pretty sure she mentioned somewhere that she did try, but for whatever reason the effects were permanent. (or at least by telling William that the effects were permanent, she must have found that out because she was trying to change them back, but came to realize that she couldn’t change them back like when she turned them into ponies. This could be easily explained by the fact that different magic was used to create these results.
There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and in this case it seems there is more than one way to turn a human into a pony. Either through the controlled and purposeful magic/spell done by Celestia, or by a massive blast of magical energy charged with William’s protective/determined emotional magic mixed with Osvaldo’s anger/malice/also determination emotional magic.
Whatever spell was accidentally created to make humans worldwide become ponies, it must have been much more complex than the spell Celestia used. Do remember that it did take Celestia several months to figure out how to turn her friend into a Pegasus and back to a human, so imagine, trying to reverse a spell you didn’t create having only been learning to use magic for 2 maybe 3 or 4 years of your life at age 9. It could take 10s, 100s, maybe even 1,000s of years (especially since they didn’t just have a teachers around telling you how to undo transformation spells since everything magic is new and no spell-books exist yet)! Even if there was a counter-spell, it seems it may have taken so long that the original generations of humans died out, leaving behind those who were born purely as ponies and thus cannot be returned to their “original form.”
P.P.S. I just scrolled through the comments in “The Legend Starts” (the prequel to this story) and realized you never left a comment on there. This gives me the conclusion that you haven’t actually read the prequel, which gives you quite a bit of context on Osvaldo as a character, and why humanity went extinct! If you haven’t read it, you definitely need to to understand what’s happening. If you have read it and still came to all the same conclusions, my advice still stands: pay closer attention to the context.
I could also listen to my own comment and realize we are commenting on “A Legend Returns”, and not “The Legend Starts” 😂😂😂 you may have no idea what I was even talking about in this entire comment! 😂😂😅😅
11622741
Really? My school covered all kinds of genocide in my history class, so I assumed everyone knew it.
Mao was the founder of modern China. He sincerely wanted the best for his country but his ruthless policies caused the death of 40 to 80 million chinese. Vlad was a warlord of Wallachia famous for his cruelty. He executed tens of thousands of people by impaling them on wooden stakes from anus to mouth and leaving entire "forests" of those corpses as a warning to all those who oppose him.
That's in the prequel. In this story he stopped Owlen from going back to the past and saving humanity. So he consciously chose to end humanity. Like if guy A is injured and would die without medical assistance, and guy B intentionally blocks doctors from reaching guy A, then B is responsible for the death of A.
So which one of them felt like "Hmmm, I really want humanity to go extinct"?
They just evolved there naturally.
Because they never evolved there.
... Why do you think Equestria needs to be a post-apocalyptic Earth?
There's also no Williams running around so it's already an alternate universe.
Which makes zero sense.
Which would erase tons of dead cultures that are currently stored in digital libraries.
I meant that human cultures were completely destroyed,. Like, it's not okay to go around killing people just because new ones are born every year. You know what I'm saying?
Five bucks for one ride, pal. I'm here all day everyday.
To be fair, we're discussing a story I didn't like. You are free to dig up my comments on a story I liked, so that we can take turns praising the author.
Don't worry, I'm not offended. Yes, I could have explained my position a lot better, but writing giant replies on a phone is a pain thee ass.
Don't hold your breath, it would take a while
Most precious stones are actually dirt cheap, their prices are artificially held high by greedy monopolists.
Pretty sure it only took her a week to figure out how to transform a pony back into a humna in the prequel. Also I'm pretty sure it was stated that you could reverse the transformation yourself with your own emotions. In the show, magical blasts colliding only ever produces normal explosions. Worldwide transformation spell out of magic clashing makes zero sense. Celestia not being able to produce a counter spell is either a contrivance or a character assassination. Pick your poison.
Your spin-off idea is interesting, but I still don't like the part about forcibly transforming humans, even if it's only half of them. I would recommend you change it so that the magic transforms actual horses into ponies instead. That way you can have ponies and humans coexist without morally questionable body violations and I would have zero complaints.
Sleep deprivation leads to serious health issues and shouldn't be taken lightly. Internet arguments aren't worth losing sleep over. Take care of yourself.
11623232
You make some very good points. However, it does look like you still overlooked some key points.
You still ignored the type of story being created and the world in which it was built (Equestria being a post apocalyptic world was not my idea or something I chose/desire, it’s an incredibly plausible, quite even guaranteed theory as to what the premise of the story is and what the author intended for us to conclude). Perhaps it was never stated in such exact words, but in a well written story, the author should not open the story by saying “this is a post apocalyptic world of how Equestria came to be.” We should be able to come to that conclusion ourselves, just by reading the story and the events occurring. I did, but it seems you didn’t.
My guess is that you got hung up on certain concepts and glossed over other more pivotal ones. Or you’ve been skimming the reading or reading and forgetting. Or you aren’t as savvy at reading between the lines as most readers and you are the exact person they say that most readers are not, which is too dumb to understand a story without it being explicitly explained to them (and even then you still didn’t get it. Not meant to hurt you, but you seemed to respond more positively to more harsh/critical types of constructive criticism that seem mean or insulting. I will never understand such people, but I can still learn to communicate with them in their language. If you can dish it, you can receive it 😂).
I forgot about William stopping Owlen from changing the past, but I don’t think William was necessarily wrong to do so.
If you haven’t noticed the way the villains are written, they are loosely (and also obviously) depicted as being unhinged, morally conflicting, and malicious when in a provoked state (which seems to be always).
Their words say they value life, but their actions repeatedly contradict it. As theoretically admirable as their intentions are, their methods and actions are not even remotely justified. They both are hell bent on murder murder murder to the point that (in Osvaldo‘s case) he doesn’t even care anymore whether humanity can be saved, he just wants revenge at all costs.
Owlen wants to murder the sisters primarily out of revenge. It’s not until he realizes that the past could be changed that his motives change. Saving humanity was an afterthought and a bonus result to attempting to kill the past sisters.
Even though William stopped Owlen from killing his sisters, do remember that this story isn’t over. It’s still tagged “incomplete.” This means that William could easily try to save humanity now, but his way. A way that doesn’t involve murder.
(I actually came up with another theory that could be a side story for my alternate universe.)
William and the sisters discuss several plans to restore humanity and one day discover there are other parallel universes. They don’t know if there is a world with humans still existing, but there’s only one way to find out. They build a mirror portal that can take them to other worlds -let’s not try and figure out the details of how right now, I’m just roughing out a basic skeleton here- and discover the EG universe. They bring a willing person to their world -let’s say it’s Lyra Heartstrings because she secretly wants to be a pony parallel to how the pony version secretly wishes to be human- They find out that no human brought into Equestria enters in human form and no pony that enters the human world remains a pony, thus making them “magicless”. Since pure humans cannot be brought back into the MLP universe, the sisters give William the option to “return to his people” and live a normal human life. He chooses to stay with them because whether or not he is with his own species doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have his family with him -especially since the two sisters are his only remaining family-. Being the same species or race is irrelevant in loving adopted families. I speak from personal experience as an adopted child. I’m Chinese, but my parents are Caucasian. My parents didn’t birth me and I do not share any blood or genetics with them. However, this detail is irrelevant to how much they love me. I am just as loved and cared for as my brothers -their biological sons- and blood makes no difference in our family’s eyes. I am my parents’ child, period. They are not just “my adoptive parents,” they are my parents, straight up. I didn’t intend to write any of this bit about adoption, but I think it needed to be said to put certain things and views into perspective. Because of the AU tag my story would have, we can disregard when exactly the mirror was created and at what time it existed and why.
The fact that this story is incomplete could also eventually explain why he’s “not mentioned” in the series. Perhaps he ends up in a second battle or something else. Maybe he goes back in time and changes the ending his way, saving humanity AND his family. However, this means that he wouldn’t get transported to the future as an immortal. He’d likely become mortal and die, thus not showing up in the future. As to how humanity still went extinct anyways? Well, that’s a different story for a different author who isn’t me. 😂
As for the other points:
“Why do you think Equestria needs to be a post apocalyptic Earth?”
I don’t. This was not my idea, it was the concept I deducted from the story I was given. The rhetorical questions I asked was to describe questions no one asks because we make assumptions (the exact ones, in fact, that you answered with.)
All I was trying to say was this story explores a more unconventional possibility that no one would think about, which creates a unique story with a unique premise that I have never seen before. For someone where English isn’t their first language, this story is pretty well plotted out. Of course, the lack of vocabulary words and inability to describe something in an unfamiliar or inexperienced language can be the cause of you asking some questions if the text was not mentally autocorrected accurately.
That battle scene (which I reread to get an understanding of what went down when William stopped Owlen) was incredibly vague and blandly written and could even be seen as lazily written. But again, the vocabulary and grammar limitations make it possible they simply didn’t know how to make it more descriptive. It’s hard enough as it is to write descriptively when you can fluently speak and write the language, so imagine trying to write a great story in a language that you are not totally fluent in. Kudos to the author for writing a story that despite all odds is still great!
Where many could assume that the author was just a bad writer, I knew the English language and grammar enough as well as still respected the author enough to give the benefit of the doubt and come to the correct conclusion that English is not their first language. Most bad writers write the way they speak but lacking proper punctuation or sentence structure. These stories were overridden with misspellings, homophones, inconsistent verb tenses, contractions no one uses/that don’t exist, and many more mistakes that no one whose first language is English would make. So with that theory in mind, I read the story, corrected it mentally, and enjoyed every aspect of the story without getting hung up on the more vague parts since the assumption is that it would’ve been better written if they knew how.
I did suggest they get and editor to do an overhaul on the story and fix the grammar and sentence structure in a way that exactly what is meant to get across to the readers does so without them having to be a straight A student in grammar, english, literature, writing, and spelling (as well as the maths, sciences, and basically every subject I’ve ever done except history, geography, and French… c’est malheureux.) to understand it without getting a headache 😅
As for you wondering how William being sent 20,000 years into the future makes sense, the author literally notes in the flashbacks the parallel between saying he’d never give up trying to save his family, not even 20,000 year from now. if you mean “why specifically 20,000 years?”, I think this is supposed to equal 20 alicorn years. So Luna theoretically spent one alicorn year on the moon and Celestia and Luna are about 27 and 29 alicorn years old, respectively (or however, old they were as kids+20 years).
I know that, but you’re still wrong about that. Let’s take religions as an example:
Islamic peoples, even if turned into ponies, would likely still pray to Allah, read their literature, speak the language, and wear hijabs and cover everything (even if it doesn’t quite matter as ponies. Several ponies in Canterlot are still typically clothed and Rarity literally specializes in the fashion industry. So certain fashions in culture didn’t die either, they just changed as fashion always has.) Catholics would likely still read their bibles, preach the word of God, pray to Mary, and “baptize” their newborn babies/foals in christenings. Most if not all religions and cultures would also still practice their rituals and ceremonies/celebrations in spite of the difficulties their new forms may pose.
Yes, it seems these different cultures “disappeared” or faded out, but again, time changes everything. Even in the few hundred years of America’s existence trends and culture has changed. Democratic and Republican party’s views used to be more reversed with Democrats having views more like Republicans and vice versa. Variations in certain religions can be more conservative or liberal depending on your upbringing or even your generation. Cultures over time have already been changing drastically as more time passes! Superstition in Medieval days were much more prevalent than today and taken very seriously. People were convicted as witches over the basis of a superstition. In the last 2,000 years or so, cultures have already come and gone with traditions being made or dying out with every generation, so it would be unreasonable to assume that some, if not all, of our current cultures would still be the same 20,000 years later.
As for dead cultures stored digitally being lost, I’d blame this loss on relying too strongly on modern technology. At any given moment, something wild could happen that destroys modern society and all the technology with it. If you’ve ever been in a blackout (like I was recently) you pretty much have nothing now, except for walls and a roof surrounded with natural resources if you’re lucky enough to live on a large acreage of property (22 acres to be exposed).
I’ve also recently been watching bushcraft, natural survival shows, and people building/living off grid. My mom says these people are most likely to survive a major technology ending event and we should probably be learning to do this stuff in case the government decides to cut off the world’s power or something like that (don’t know what could happen, but it’d be good to know we could live off grid if something happened or if we just wanted to). While we could document everything digitally, we should forget to also put important information on paper. A sheet of paper, or a written book, cannot be hacked into and erased. If we lost modern technology, we would still have physical books (if remember to keep making them and don’t over-rely on the internet for all their wisdom/problem solving/documentation.)
As for your reaction about Celestia:
Again, I don’t think it’s nearly that easy. If you could simply think to yourself, “I want them to be humans again,” and it would happen, don’t you think it would’ve? I repeat, magic is fairly new, unstudied territory. I’ve noticed even Twilight, a well studied magic student in a time where there are boundless resources on magic, doesn’t really use transfiguration spells or anything that changes the form most likely because it is difficult, period (even in the episode in which she gives Rarity butterfly wings, a spell that does not change her drastically, Twilight acknowledges that it’s a very complex spell. Even then the effects were not permanent!). It seems that only changelings and Discord can do transformation spells easily and at will. In fact, I’m pretty sure only Discord is able to do with his magic what he wants in whatever way he pleases, we’re just lucky enough that his intentions are in innocent fun (aka, he doesn’t use his power to destroy people/ponies, just turned their life and their world into a living chaotic joke) and that he must have self-control or wifey Fluttershy will get on to him (it seems in the last episode of my little pony, Fluttershy and Discord are married, or are at least living together and created a kid). It seems Discord is the only one who could change the ponies back into humans in the way you are describing, however, he didn’t have the moral compass or self control to do so, until much much much later into his life (well past the lifespan of the original humans, which would still hold the issue of changing someone’s bodily form against their will).
I agree that the blast doesn’t make perfect sense, but I’m working with what I’ve got here as far as creating theories go, so bear with me and deal with it. It’s a fictional story set an a fictional world created by people intent on making a TV show to entertain small children and teach them about friendship. We’re all just working with the cards we were dealt as FimFiction writers! 😂
You’re right, there is no point in losing sleep over an argument, yet here I am doing just that 🥲💀
The argument is not as pointless as it seems since the overlying clash is based on morals and the real world implications/applications this story has. What makes this argument pretty stupid is that it’s about fictional characters set in a fictional world, based on a TV show created to entertain little children through the adventures of six colorful ponies, and occasionally other side characters (yet draws the attention of older kids/adults like us 😂).
I promise I am taking care of myself right now. I’m currently about to go to bed at the very reasonable time of 12:00am 😀💀. Am I very tired? Yes. Will I fall asleep quickly? Not quickly enough. My mind creates this infinite loop of being bored and feeling unproductive when awake at night, not falling asleep fast enough to get over it, and thus keeping awake trying to cure my boredom, which keeps me awake even longer and repeats until I am tired enough to fall asleep within less than 10 minutes. Does my horrible sleep schedule discredit my words/arguments? No, they shouldn’t anyways.
I think I’m getting carpal tunnel in my wrists from holding my phone weird for long periods of time 🫤 (no seriously. I’ve felt kind of sore for several hours today now).
Thanks for living up to your name and I seriously hope this argument is finally resolved because I am so tired right now 😩 (I really thought my last comment would resolve this conversation and then it didn’t 😭😭😭) Maybe just don’t answer with words next time and give me a thumbs up or down emoji please cause I’m so done and wanted to be done yesterday, but you still missed some of my most important key points 😒 (did you even read it or did you just skim over it or speed read it? My apologies, but my style of writing requires a bit of studying and shouldn’t be commented on after reading just once. I recommend you re-read it several times next time before leaving a reply.
Out of boredom and desire to just resolve all of this, I will now leave positive words of encouragement on your profile page.
Thank you and good night (err, morning…)
Great chapter! The English is perfect! You’ve seriously improved!!! I was like, “wait, is this the same author? Wow, they’re doing great!”
Some of the dialogue is a bit stiff, but all the grammar is perfect. Just a technical detail. Can’t wait to see where this is headed!
Cool story! I wonder what Osvaldo would do with a time travel spell…
Kill the sisters, kill William, prevent Williams dad from ever working there so the fillies never escaped, prevent Sasha from escaping which would eliminate the sisters’ existence entirely?!?!?
There’s so many things Osvaldo could do that he may get overwhelmed or mad with power (like he isn’t already, but still.)
Or he could have no plan at all and pull a “Meet the Robinsons” moment… (Look up Mike Yagoobian/Bowler hat guy)