• Member Since 4th May, 2022
  • offline last seen Monday


Just reading and writting stories for and from anyone.


This story is a sequel to A Legend Returns

William is a normal human that tries his best to be happy. Although his father was arrested 5 years ago for trying to steal very expensive equipment from the lab he was working, and his mother got to work immediately to maintain him and his sister Melissa, but he always tries his best to be a good person.
One day, he stumbles in the park with something impossible: two little ponies with wings, horns, and the ability to speak. He tries to help them, and in the way, he might discover the real reason of why his father is at prison.

This story is a PREQUEL of https://www.fimfiction.net/story/516698/a-legend-returns not a sequel.
You don't need to read it before you read this one, although I recommend you to do it when you finish this one.

Chapters (26)
Comments ( 72 )

i hope you dont stop this story its really so far

Don't worry, I won't.
I'm on vacation this week, so probably I'll update daily.

love this story already, keep it up. :twilightsmile:

Very nice story! If you can’t make it frequently like earlier maybe some help will be useful? You want it contact me on PM

I'm loving the story so far!

How could William sneak two living beings under his coat without it being obvious that he's smuggling something, due to the two large lumps under his coat?

"With this." I said pulling out my phone from my pocket.

He's going to get a team of hired (umm...) bad guys after him.

Comment posted by NotSuspicious366 deleted Jul 31st, 2022

I then proceeded to devour my piece, but instead of the delicious taste of the sauce with the meat I found... eggplant?

I didn't know lasagna can be made with eggplant.

Interesting story so far.
How were these creatures created tho?

People will just think that he's carrying ordinary stuff.
Also the fillies were not THAT big.

I experimented it once.
It wasn't a enjoyable experience :(

I hope I'm not being mean by proofreading the first two sentences.

One day passed. Tia and Luna were planning for entire night how to show Philomena to my mom. For night Philomena was hidden in my room, so I couldn’t sleep since there was so much light, like sun came to my room only to blind me. The next day, which was Friday Tia took her ( finally ) from my room and placed in the living room.

One day passed. Tia and Luna were planning for entire night how to show Philomena to my mom. For [to]night[,] Philomena was hidden in my room, so I couldn’t sleep since there was so much light, like sun came to my room only to blind me. The next day, which was Friday[,] Tia took her ( finally ) from my room and placed[ her] in the living room.

“Miss, can you go to the living room for a moment?” Celestia said while near her was Luna that was crying from ‘laugh attack’. I was looking at them from the kitchen and silently laughing as well

“Miss, can you go to the living room for a moment?” Celestia said[.] while Near her was Luna that [who] was crying from ‘laugh attack’. [{OR} Celestia said while Luna was crying from a 'laugh attack'] I was looking at them from the kitchen and silently laughing as well

Maybe xD

You will see in next chapters. Something will happen about Philomena

Thank you for correction. I’m trying my best writing but no one’s is perfect

I'll correct it as soon as I can :)

Is this mostly an adventure story or mostly a slice of life story?

It's hero time. :rainbowdetermined2:

I am getting goosebumps, keep up the great work. :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

Ok, next one will be a good one. I hope you read this story until the very end.

“Welcome kids! For today’s Lesson we’re gonna go back in time, and learn some about our country! So, The USA, or full name, United States of America originated in XVIII century…”

It would be the XVIV century instead. When listing the centuries like this, you need to remember that 0-99 was a century, so it is currently at the time of writing the XXI century, not the XX century (That would be the 1900s)

The grammar in this chapter is a lot better than other chapters! (Although there are a few minor errors, like Miss Rose needing to be capitalized, because titles that are prefixed to names are needed to be capitalized.)

USA independence was on 1775, so that counts as XVIII century.

Research, Inc. Not researchinc. The name of an organization should be capitalized.

Comment posted by NotSuspicious366 deleted Aug 17th, 2022

Researchinc is a word's game.
But I'll capitalize from now on.

Comment posted by NotSuspicious366 deleted Aug 20th, 2022

Wait a second.... I'm dumb sorry.
I remembered that one needs to add an extra to the century count, and the roman numeral confused me.

"Well, first of all, it doesn't follow the rule that in the universe nothing is created or destroyed. I don't know if magic could be destroyed, but I know (thanks to the fillies) that it can be created."

But that's my favorite rule! Anyway, I think empty space can be created, because the universe expands. Is that a thing?

I think you should rename the chapter to Season 2, Chapter 1 or Act 2, Chapter 1, to avoid confusion with earlier chapters.

Nice chapter! But try maybe writing more words, since some dialogues and narration just feel… incomplete.

She was not old, so we didn't thought that she'll face too much trouble. But then... but then... Her sister called us to say that... she died.

Well, this story suddenly got dark.

I think I had SARS 2 one time, although I don't know for sure, because my parents decided that the price of testing (free) was too expensive.
Everytime I moved it felt like my brain was wobbling around in my head. I coughed frequently, and I felt very cold. I had trouble breathing, too.
But that was only the first two days, after that, the only thing I had was a slight fatigue and a scratchy throat.
I'm not sure if that was COVID-19 though, because I don't remember having a sore throat.
I just remembered that I did have a really sore throat during the first two days, no matter how much water I drank. How could I forget?

Two people in my home had it, I'm displaying some personal experiences in the story.
And I hope I'm doing it right.

I forgot a crucial detail; I did have a sore throat.
Also, I have an odd question for you: Which name for the disease do you like best?
(1) 2019-NCoV (Provisional virus name)
(2) COVID-19 (Official disease name)
(3) SARS-CoV-2 (Biological name)

It's a really weird question, but I'll take it.
I like the official name, but the provisional name was also very good.
Great, now I look like I work for Plague.inc XD

Ok that chapter is actually well writen, keep up the good woek

I quickly crawled out of the dark room, and headed to the hallway's mirror. To my horror, and not surprise, I wasn't a human anymore. I was a blue horse, with a horn, yellow mane and a pair of wings. I was an alicorn.

What?! Why?

Oh, and also the punctuation and capitalization is alot better.
And.... it's cough not "coff"

He got infected, that's how COVID works. When you least expect, bam! You are infected, and you don't even know from where.

Since in this story magic is very linked to emotions, Tia's magic unconsciously converted him on the best possible form, since they're very close.

After eating our breakfast, we headed outside to enjoy Saturday in the best possible way, flying. The sky was clear and with few clouds, and the sun was shining without burning my skin, sorry, fur.

Horses' coats are called hair, not fur, and neither hair nor fur have neurons in them to feel hot, although it may absorb heat and transfer it to the skin, which is what would feel pain from heat.

But the point was that it wasn't a hot day, so...
You know too much, and I really appreciate your help :)

Login or register to comment