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Open for Writing Commissions. I write gay romantic comedies with ponies now. Get off my back, MOM.


Shining Armour had a great life, everything he could ever want. He was happy.

That is until the Monster arrived.

Violence tag due to certain themes within the story. CW: Child Abuse

An entry in the A Thousand Words Contest under Horror.

Preread by The Sleepless Beholder and mushroompone.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

...This kinda reminds me of the 'thing' that my mom made up to scare my brother and sis into behaving. Great fic! 10/10!

Very interesting concept.

Can someone explain this to me? I can’t wrap my head around this

I think much of it is intended to be left up to interpretation, but what isn't is that his mother is related to the monster. In fact, I consider them to be one in the same, and Shining does too. I interperet the monster's appearance to be Shining Armor's interpretation of his mother's rage, with her becomming a terrible monster in Shining's eyes, even though she, in reality, did not change form. Instead, it was easier to imagine her as a monster than his mother.

SwordTune #8 · May 9th · · 1 ·

This shit slaps hard. Almost as hard as the monster.

It’s an allegory for child abuse

The Monster is Twilight Velvet his mother.

hits too close to home.. heh... heh


I was scared. I didn’t know what the monster was, but I wanted my dad because he would protect me. So, I cried out for him, steamed it as loud as I could, desperation in my voice.

I think you want "screaming"?

An error? There is no error. There never was an error.
(Thank you for the catch, fixed it)

Well dang. I'll just give you my hat.

Not sure if it's just me, but I'd really like to see a world play out with this underpinning it.

Kind of reminds me of that game where you play as a baby with a teddy bear and it's this big overgrown shadow creature hunting you down because it wants to hurt you.

well. wonder what happens when Celestia finds out.

among the sleep if you were wondering the name of it


That his mother could be so awful that that is how he sees her. To be traumatized like that; and scarred. Hang your head in shame Velvet; you’re unworthy of your title.

One asked how Celestia would feel about matters here... About what you'd expect I suspect:trollestia:


“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Twilight Velvet's ears twitched at the sound of the Princess's soft tone, and turning, she began to smile, then ears flattening to her skull, she took a step back at the expression on the diarchs face, and in that moment, the mare learned how cold the world was when the sun denied you its warmth. For a moment Velvet's horn flared to life, seeking something, anything, to protect herself, delving to the deepest for IT, the spell every unicorn knew as from birth as easily as a foal knew to seek its mothers side, a means of self preservation... and with a mere narrowing of a micrometer of her eyelids, Celestia dispelled her attempts.

"Do you know who said that? Somepony, perhaps, who would forgive your transgressions mare, if you sought such. I... am not so awash in kindness and mercy. But what I do have are healing spells and ol' Bertha."

Before Velvet could inquire as to who Bertha was, Celestia's horn flared and after a brief flash a rust covered ship anchor fell to floor with a clank, and hefting the improvised weapon to rest it across her withers, Celestia began to step forward.

And as she walked, she began so sing


Meanwhile across town, Cadence looked up as a screech of utter terror echoed across Canterlot.

"What was that?"

"I believe that was your coltfriends mother screaming in fear your Highness."

Nodding, Cadence returned to her paperwork.

"Oh. Good."

This shit is far too common and people should be a lot less forgiving for it.

This was a pretty effective depiction of domestic abuse. I've seen this sort of story before, so I figured out from the start that Twilight Velvet was the monster, but this was still well told.

I needed to think about this one for a bit. Rather unwisely, that was over lunch. :pinkiesick:

"X's parents were actually abusive" is a tough sell for me with many of the Mane Six's families. With Twilight's, there's some textual support. She had to develop that anxiety and perfectionism somehow, to say nothing of how the Crown of the Sibling Supreme had her and Shining literally competing for their parents' affection. But this still doesn't quite mesh for me. I think the biggest issue is that Shining actually got his cutie mark this way. What do they tell the neighbors? What does he tell his classmates or his teacher? That's incriminating evidence right on his backside, to say nothing of the welts in a society without a nudity taboo.

This might have been able to justify itself with more available words, but as is, I can't believe Velvet escaped Protective Services. Still, best of luck in the judging.


I would presume they'd claim he saved Twilight from some sort of accident. She'd had a magic surge and knocked something big and heavy off a shelf and Shining was the one around to see it and cast a shield spell over her

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