Listen to Your Elders.
Discord loved to enjoy the smaller things in life.
Specifically, he liked shrinking down ponies and watching them run around an ant farm while being chased by gummy worms.
It wasn’t something he did often, but the glass case was a good distraction for him as he tried to come up with new chaotic ideas. Things like chocolate rain didn’t just pop out of nowhere, even if they did technically pop out of nowhere.
There was a method to the madness, a purpose for each singing book and jumping teapot. Not that any of the ponies actually appreciated it, of course. They were too busy screaming to enjoy the unsubtle beauty of a flying pig.
But at least he would enjoy the runaway pianos and other chaotic creations he made. If only there was some other creature who understood his twisted tastes, a connoisseur of chaos who could properly enjoy the entropy.
Something like a… What was that word ponies used? The one that usually made him feel sick? Frrrrrrriiiiied rice?
No, not that, but something close. Fingers? Fiddlesticks? Fish-sticks!
“Oh! Now there’s an idea,” he said, snapping his talons to warp a bundle of sticks into a floundering wooden fish. “Hmmm… Not my best work,” he observed, stroking his beard as he idly tried to think of new chaotic creations.
His creative contemplation was brought to a grinding halt as he felt a wave of harmony ripple across Equestria.
“Well… That certainly can’t be good.”
Snapping his talons, Discord appeared inside a tree as six colorful ponies hugged. Six colorful ponies that certainly should not have been colorful and should have been hating each other…
Alright, so plan A to destroy their friendship failed. Not a problem, he just needed to move to plan B… As soon as he thought of one.
Usually, he would have just teleported away and said it was a problem for Future Discord, but…
“Oh… That’s an idea,” he grinned, teleporting back to his throne in Ponyville as he waited for the six ponies to trot back.
Sitting in Fluttershy’s cottage, Discord poured his friend a cup of tea as she regaled him with a story of her younger years.
Apparently, some foal named Ocean Breeze, (he’d remember that for later,) bullied her and Dash into sneaking into the Rainbow Factory at night. There was something about a rumor involving blood and rainbow water or whatever. A bit too gruesome for his tastes, but still a cute story.
He would have loved to hear the end of it if he wasn’t rudely teleported against his will.
Blinking out of a confused daze, Discord looked around the chaotic oil painting that was once Ponyville.
Odd. He didn’t remember doing that recently. That was something the old him would do.
“Hey there, you handsome draconequus,” A younger version of himself bragged, looping an arm around Discord’s neck as he pulled him into a rather awkward embrace. “Come here often?”
“Oh, well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he grinned, holding out a hand to his young reflection. “Discord. You?”
The younger copy eagerly accepted his hand with an olive branch. “Discord. I must say, you don’t look a day over tomorrow.”
“Why thank you. You look good for your age too.”
“Oh, you flatter me.”
“I do my best.”
“Are they hitting on each other?” Rainbow Dash asked, causing the duo Discord’s to look at the mane six.
“Oh wow, you’re all here too!” Future Discord grinned, before a look of worried realization washed over him. “Oh no, you’re all here too. Oh, this…” he hissed through his teeth as he tugged on the grey hairs at the bottom of his neck. “This is really awkward. Um, say, what year is this?”
“Who cares? Time’s irrelevant to us, anyway,” the young Discord dismissed. “But, if I’m right, it’s the last day that they’ll be a problem.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Discord muttered as his handsome twin from the past began to monologue.
“See, Twilight? I have my own friends. After all, nopony knows me better than myself. Plus, he already knows how to beat all of you, and I don’t even need to raise a paw to help. I can just sit back and wait for my turn in a few years. So, what’s first,” he asked, turning to the Future Discord with a hopeful smile. “I’m thinking balloon animals and jelly! Any thoughts?”
“Do you really think we’ll let you get away with this, Discord?” Twilight asked, stepping forward as she proudly held her head up high.
“Get away? Twilight, look at us, I’ve already won. Now, let’s start with getting rid of those, shall we?”
With a snap of his talons, the younger Discord stole the Elements and hid them all across Equestria.
… For a total of five seconds before a second snap brought them back. “Actually, we don’t win,” the older Discord corrected, earning an equally shocked look from the gathered mares and draconequus.
“Did… Did you just bring the Elements back?” His younger self asked stupidly.
“I did. On any other day I’d probably love to stick around and play jump rope with the timeline, but I need to get back to Fluttershy’s for tea. Oh, that reminds me. Fluttershy, dear, how does the Rainbow Factory story end? I was on the edge of my seat two years from now.”
Fluttershy, being unused to a god of chaos staring at her like a puppy, decided to hide behind Rainbow’s back as her friend took a defensive stance between them.
“What the heck are you talking about, Discord? How do you know that story?” Rainbow demanded.
“Well duh, friends tell friends stories of course.”
“Wait, we became friends? With you?!” Rainbow yelled.
“For once, I actually agree with what’s her face,” the Present Discord agreed.
“Rainbow Dash, and you already know her name. The joke’s stale at this point. At least for me, anyway.”
“Twi, what the heck’s going on here?” Applejack asked, shaking the purple pony out of her stupor as Discord drew them all into a group hug.
“Why Applejack, do I really need to spell it out for you? We’re the best of friends in my timeline!”
“You made me fall in love with a rock, you brute!” Rarity protested.
“Ya made me a no-good liar!” Applejack added on.
“W-well I-I-u-um,” Fluttershy stuttered before Twilight teleported them all out of his grasp.
“Girls, keep your heads straight. This is clearly just another one of his tricks!”
“Oh, Twilight, you wound me. Do I really look like a bad guy?”
“Yes,” his younger self seethed. “Because we are the bad guy! We cause chaos and have fun, we don’t listen to fillies gossip about rainbows or hug ponies! What happened to you? You-you used to be cool! And now you’re one of them?!”
“I am, and you will too. At least if I can fix this little time travel hiccup,” Discord said as he pulled out a broken clock and gave it a light shake.
“Hold it!” Pinkie Pie yelled, earning everypony and draconequus’ attention as she glared at the older Discord. “If you’re really our friend… Then what’s my favorite color?”
The younger Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh please, even I could guess that.”
“It’s every color,” Future Discord answered, causing Pinkie Pie to gasp before she wrapped her hooves around his neck.
“Yes! I have a time traveling friend from the future! I am so going to abuse this for my own personal gain!”
“You won’t because I will never be your friend,” the younger Discord refused, snapping his talons to tear the elements away from the six mares.
His older copy brought them back with a snap of his own, causing the duo to fall into a tug of war with reality, constantly snapping the elements on and off of the gathered mares.
“I can do this all day, you know!”
“As can I. Besides, I know how this ends.”
“Endings are always so predictable. I prefer something a little more… Chaotic.”
A snap was the only warning the future Discord had before a stone statue of himself fell on top of him. “Ugh. Really, using the same trick twice? Now look who’s predictable,” he groaned, quietly noting the sound of several cracks breaking through his old prison.
“Ah-Ha! Free at la—” the stoned Discord was free for all of three seconds before Discord snapped him back to stone.
“Sorry, this story is already confusing enough as it is. And I need to get back to hear the rest of Fluttershy’s story.”
“Over my stoned body!”
“Well aren’t you just full of bright ideas today,” the Future Discord grinned, disappearing as a wave of rainbows crested over the horizon.
His past self watched in dread as the friendship laser came barreling towards him.
“Oh… Right, I kind of forgot about them…”
Reappearing in the present, Discord sat down in his favorite chair as Fluttershy wrapped up her story. It seemed like he only missed a second or two, and Fluttershy was more than willing to continue despite the interruption.
“And that’s when Zephyr started to have a crush on Rainbow Dash.”
“My, my, I never would have guessed that. Of course, I couldn’t expect anything less from my brave little friend,” Discord bragged, earning a light blush from Fluttershy as she sipped her tea.
“By the way, where did you go a few minutes ago?”
“Oh, nowhere special. I was just reliving old memories is all. Speaking of memories, do you remember the day we met?”
“Um, a bit. It’s a little fuzzy at the end though. Princess Celestia said the Elements stole a lot of our energy. I can’t really remember anything after we were about to… Um, you know.”
“Make me a rather pretty bird nest?”
“Sorry about that.”
“Bah, don’t be silly Fluttershy. I’ll admit, back then I was pretty hard to get along with. I certainly wasn’t the reasonable creature I am today, and I just remembered how much I owe you and Celestia. I really wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you two.”
“Oh, but you did a lot of the work, Discord. You made it here through your own effort.”
Discord couldn’t help but chuckle at that as he ate his teacup. “Oh, you have no idea.”
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Lovely one shot. Very well done!
Featured page bro
Ah, Discord. Always your own worst enemy, aren't you?
You'll want to get that typo. Otherwise, a nice short and sweet one shot.
Nothing like a simple silly little story to break up all the more serious long ones. Both are great in their own ways of course!
But Discord fighting with himself...I bet the girls were like 'You know what just gonna blast em both and let harmony sort it out.'
11010071
Well short simple silly stories that pop up form the see of serious and porn
11010019
Thanks for pointing this out! I can't believe I missed that.
If anyone else finds an error, let me know and I'll fix it. Thanks again, everybody!
Sometimes is better to not know the future
rolled* his eyes
are the pronouns here messed up?
Those were the only two errors I discovered while reading this, nothing too big. Regardless, this was a fun little story and really enjoyable, was kind of expecting Discord to keep ripping other Discords from other times and dimensions because of how chaotic that would be.
11010309
Thanks for catching these!
11010330
No biggie, I wish you well on your future endeavors
Beautiful and chaotic as ever! And the conversations between those two are brilliant! The whole story is brilliant! Hope ya don't mind, but I couldn't resist on making a reading of this crazy fic of yours!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/FufS68DImjk
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
Nicely done!
Wow very nice short story even the past Discord has to learn from himself in the future even if it's the hard way but anyway this was good keep up the good work
11009975 Aren't we ALL!
Great story!
Yes, Discord would absolutely hit on himself!
most excellent
i need more time-traveling Discord shenanigans
11010930
Here ya go! Some other fanfics where Discord plays skip rope with the time line.
lol this was brilliant
Edit: A thought suddenly strikes me. PAST Discords Lucky he did not target Fluttershy first while in the precense of his future self as i dont think his future self would react as shall we say softly as he did. This in turn would leave the mane 6 even more confused then they already were.
Yo that is a pretty awesome story here man I do like how Discord at least the future one have to teach the past self a valuable lesson
Kind of surprised Twi didn’t try to get some future knowledge while it was available.
bwahahahaha this was amazing!
This was very amusing, good work.
Yeah. This was cool. Discord v. Discord. Timey wimey shenanigans. Loved it.
11010934
You’re just linking right back to this story.
*ahahahahah* I'm dying. Discord, haven't you heard of being your own worst enemy?
11012244
I clicked the link. It should be directing you to my latest blog, where I recommended two better Discord Time Travel fics.
I guess I can just put them here.
- MLP: FiM
- Adventure
- Comedy
- Drama
After Discord failed to break up Twilight's friendships, he decides to trade places with a future Discord where the Elements would no longer exist. A future where, unknown to him, Discord has been reformed...[Adult story embed hidden]
I was a tad cautious at reading this, but it's good! Most time-travel stories are flawed and predictably bad.
I'm confused. Which, come to think of it, makes perfect sense. Carry on.
PS:The story is great.
Simple but fun
I loved this one!
11012263
Both incomplete
11013060
-BronyDash860
I enjoy it. It was funny and very Discord. It was truly enjoyable.
That was fun! Little glitch, you misspelled Zephyr at the end there. Though I could kind of see Discord calling him that, like Endora calling Darrin Derwood.
11013376
Thanks for pointing this out! I can't believe that slipped by me.
In the entirety of this story, this was the most heartwarming part.
There was no part of this I didn't absolutely love!
got this recommended by a friend, very nice
Sadly, the ending of the story was predictable.
Him betraying himself , etc
Like,you know there is no mentum for continuation.
There is another story Discord's Rewrite ,where Discord send his past selve, memories from the future. That Discord is/exists/lives when ponies arrive to Equestria,when they are running away from Windigos.
Essentially that Discord changes drastically past and for that future.
That story has momentum and continuously something interesting happens and you want to know more.
Love me some good Discord(s)
Pinkie is a mare who has her priories straight.
11015112
Oh yes, I absolutely loved that story. There’s another story, Discord of Tomorrow, where the Past Discord pulls the old switcheroo with his future self, sealing places in time to wreck havoc in the future as his future self tries to set things right in the past.
I love a good ol' story featuring Discord and his wonderful shenanigans.
11011436
She already had an episode about using information untimely gotten, I think she may have learned.
Thank you for this story, short/sweet/perfect!
Perfection, just perfection :)
Wow, I think you've portrayed both past and future Discord exactly how they'd act in this situation.
This was great. :)
Rainbow factory reference
I guess plan B is to use time travel to create a chaotic temporal causality loop to join them
like the old saying goes if you can't beat them, join them
Funnily enough, I had just finished reading Rainbow Factory and Pegasus Device before reading this