Cadence was a very hardcore shipper.
What? Wasn't it obvious?
Being the Princess of Love, it shouldn't be that big of a surprise.
However, as many know, being a hardcore shipper had it's downsides.
Especially when you utter a few words at the wrong time, wrong place, and wrong......
Just wrong EVERYTHING!
(Rated Teen for CURSING, SO MUCH CURSING, and adult humor)
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Well this was an interesting little thing. Yelling can be therapeutic sometimes.
One tiny think that's been bugging me. In the short description you say the conversation went wary and I think you mean awry.
Nice, have a mustache
Anyway, have a thumb up. There would be a fav as well, if there was some insight about how they make out on the table, but then again, some things are better not mentioned.
Haha! Nice argument. I actually had a very similar conversation one day.
7109311
I KNEW someone was going send me that clip!
7109142
Hmm Mkay. I'll change it asap! Thanks for letting me know!
7109481
EEP! OHMYGAWSH! I love your work! ANDNOWYOU'RECOMPLIMENTINGMYWORK??? A BLUH BLUH BLUH??
aww, they should have all gone to mcdonalds or something.
7109628 Daw, you're too kind! I found your story genuinely funny in a crazy, fun, amusing way. You look like you had fun with it. And I think Cadance ships it too, actually.
But you flatter me! Keep writing, ok? It's entertaining! I give it an upvote!
Also I wouldn't mind a shippy chapter where we find out about what happened at that table and what they say afterward. Just saying.
7109701
Lmao! That would be funny! I can just see Ronald Mcdonald waltzing in, seeing the two arguing, and start to cry.
"Why does this happen at such a happy place!"
7109744
7109757
Eeee! Thank you! Maybe I'll make a sequel next time it's two in the morning and I feel like writing a rage fic! Lol!
THIS IS ONE MOTHERFUCKING GOOD STORY!
Seriously though, nice job.
Welp, I, uuhhhh..... Have somewhere to go, so... Bye? *Sprints out door, screaming*
7109903
Hee hee! Thank you!
Damn I can't believe how much attention this is getting! 33 like in just 12 hours! Thank you everybody!~
SIXTH PLACE IN RATINGS OF TODAY!!!
WHOOP WHOOP!
Umm...You can fly...
7110722
Cadence doesn't really think strait when she's shipping
Well that was fun but to be honest I'm amazed I haven't seen a fic like this sooner
7112993
What else would you expect? She IS the princess of love!
669 views....
God I'm such a little kid
I know that feel Cadence... I know that feel all too well.
7114215
Lawl!
The characterization was all over the place in this.
7114241
It's a crazy situation! Sometimes personality rules break in a place like that! But I do get what you mean, hope you still enjoyed the story!
7110722
Well, she didn't say she'd hit bottom did she?
T-That-That was amazing. No words to express my feelings. Just... amazing.
7117240
Thank you!!!
Should of had Shining remark, "I'll follow."
7129646
Cool have a like.
Pretty fun.
Two things though: Static breaths sound weird. Makes very little sense. Breaths can't be motionless and even if you're using it for describing that she is frozen and just breathing, it doesn't quite work like that, that word.
Also, the all caps for shouting gets old. Exclamation marks are for shouting, all caps should be reserved for the greatest shout of them all or godlike shouting. So it would have much bigger impact if Cadence's shouts were in caps, while the rest of the shouts were simply with exclamation marks and a bit of narration that tells the reader that they are actually shouting. As it is, Cadence's shouting just doesn't have as much of an impact as it should have. You should have guessed that when you ran out of ways to show emphasis and used red text for extra emphasis.
But it was fun.
Don't get why Cadence wants to jump out from a cliff now that she has actually fixed the problem that was bothering her though.
Well done, have a like.
7155572
Damn do I love constructive comments! I love them maybe even a little more than a like or a favorite, since it shows me how to improve in the future. I like addressing the topics back as well, so everyone can fully understand my stories and writing style. As for 'Static Breaths' it's actually used quite often in story telling, but I get what you mean. Just think of it as a metaphor really. I made all to most of her shouting in caps because of how she gets really.... REALLY loud when she's shouting at Discord and Fluttershy. Personally, when I type some of the shouting phrases in normal text, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't seem LOUD enough to me (maybe because I'm a loud person but whatever). This is the Princess of Love we're discussing, and if I were her in that exact situation, I'd probably be pissed out of my mind as well. I like the text to really grip you in a sense of what's going on, help the reader imagine the scene more clearly, since it is only words typed onto a screen. And after a stressful experience like that, I'd probably make a sarcastic remark like "I'm going to jump off a cliff" as well. This story actually relates to me quite a lot...... heheh
Anywho, Thanks for the comment and like! I really appreciate it!
7172086 Do you seriously shout at the absolute top of your lungs for that long? Maybe it's a cultural thing, I'm Danish, but I've never, in my life, neither in real life or in fiction, seen a sustained shouting that kept a volume that justifies that much caps. We have full stops and exclamation marks to play with for a reason.
Besides, my main point was actually that Cadence would be more shockingly loud if the other shouting didn't happen at caps. Shouting in caps is, to be perfectly honest, something that in my experience is confined to the fanfic community, except in very, very special cases. I'm guessing you already got that part, but I just thought it deserved repeating. Also, Fluttershy in all caps is simply wrong. Even her "you're going to love me" doesn't go above exclamation mark.
Caps is the ceiling for volume. Be careful not to set it too low or your story is going to bonk its head on it and get all fuzzy and indistinct. The less it is used, the more impact it has. In all honesty, in MLP, all caps ought to be reserved for people reaching Royal Canterlot Voice Volume.
Second: Are you a diver by any chance? A quick google search shows me that static breath is a technique for that and static breaths seem confined mostly to the online community. Your story is one of the top ones that come up when I search "static breaths". It might not be as common as you think, though it might just be our experiences have little in common. Also, I have to ask, honestly: Does it mean "taking breaths while remaining almost frozen in place, not moving a muscle"? Sorry, it is just weird and alien to me and I have seen a lot of English in my time, despite my nationality, though I will admit dialects catch me off guard from time to time.
I will not deny that this might be in part motivated by my stubborn arrogance, but in my infinite arrogance, I'm thinking the food for thought it might give you may be worth the irritation my stubbornness might elicit.
Cheers.
7173371
No no no no! I really can see what you mean! Maybe it's because I'm American? (Hetalia lol)
I understand that due to your personal opinion that you think shouts shouldn't go above all caps unless in dire situations.
However, in most absolute opinion, my writing style doesn't work that way. I really get a feeling for my writing, and I won't the words to really take you into the screen. So, I sincerely apologize, but I will not be changing it. The term 'static breaths' in a story sense basically mean that you're taking in low, shaky breaths that are short and separated. At least that's what I've come across. Take Static Electricity for example. It's quick, get's your attention right away, and really is shocking (OBVIOUSLY). But imagine tapping a piece of metal that constantly shocks you each time you do. Now imagine the shock as a breath. That's how Cadence is breathing right now! Unevenly, quickly, loudly, and Shining Armor would notice this.
7173598 I did expect that we would just have to disagree. One note though, your comparison don't quite work, because static electricity is that way because it is specifically static, that is, unmoving. The shock you get is because you discharge the static electricity, that is, the electricity suddenly moves. Being static means, going by the definitions I know, being stationary.
And sorry, but breathing like your describing sounds unnatural in any event but during excitement or exercise. In my experience, people breathe at the worst, steadily and a little more rapidly than usual, when under stress that doesn't make them panic. Particularly when someone is trying to restrain themselves.
But, of course, it's your story. Happy writing.
7173371 I've heard others speak of rather sustained shouting. Not heard it personally, so I think it's best to just say it was a domestic dispute.
Regardless, in general, that much shouting does seem out of character for Fluttershy, and maybe even Discord.
Also, while the initial swearing outburst from Cadence made some sense, the liberal swearing thereafter did not.
It was amusing, though. Odd characterization, but amusing.
Well. Now I know to never piss off a hardcore shipper.
In all honesty, this was a fun little read, and I only wish there was more.
7367098
This was fun to write! However, it's not the kind of story to have a sequel, so I'm probably not going to write one. Glad that you enjoyed though!
Literally being love incarnate I've always had a headcanon that she was the most dedicated of shippers. For all we know she already has a stallion picked out for Flurry Heart.
You should really put the profanity tag on this. I know you warn us in the description, but I just thought that stories should have all the relevant tags on them so they don't go against the rules.