Longdesc
There's nothing left that can save Equestria. Not Discord, not Celestia, not Luna, not Cadance, not Princess Flurry Heart. But their presence can at least buy Starlight Glimmer time to escape. She just needs to convince Trixie to come with her.
Info
An entry into the Pride and Positivity event.
The first draft of this fic was the third-place winner in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting T is for Trans contest.
The first draft of this fic was a submission for a prompt from Bean's Writing Group Discord server, "Five Minutes Too Late". Thanks to Bean and RanOutOfIdeas for their feedback.
Thanks to The Sleepless Beholder for prereading on the second draft.
Chapters (1)
Happy to see it out! Will gladly help with any other of your great stories.
What happened to the world and how is this done by twilight
Some great emotional tension here.
"and ever she had made a contingency of her own"
"and ever since she had made a contingency of her own"?
Ostensibly the destruction is the work fo a Godess within, but in actuality it's the handiwork of the 41 second Goddess, hence why everything happened so fast.
10881025
i think i fixed this now?
10880817
thanks so much for the preread!
10880919
how it was done was pretty straightforward, in Her new form twilight is very powerful but smart enough to know to eliminate the potential competition as quickly and efficiently as possible
10880936
thank you!
10881439
i did make a reference to the latter that excludes that, i think!
10881503
Drat 😋 I think I missed the reference, though. (Although I now see that this is explicitly Twilynanas we're dealing with.)
lets have an F for the entire race of equines. Im guessing you never decided on a canon reason the world was ending?
10882443
there is a canon reason, i have the mechanism of it in my head. it's just supposed to be a dark and mysterious horror in this story. The 41-Second Goddess touches on some of the ideas and is referenced, which is why one of the contingencies was to reactivate pinkie pie and just see what would happen, because there really was no contingency they could figure out for what happened to twilight, which is The Goddess Within's ending "going wrong".
there's some other stuff that goes into it involving the nature of alicorns, but i haven't written the stories about it yet so i won't say. and the world isn't really ending, it's being remade into something that nopony can predict, though starlight figures she doesn't want to be around for it, and is up next for elimination as the strongest non-alicorn magic user in equestria (and thus best candidate for alicornhood and thus rivalry)
10882450
wow, i understood none of that
i find it funny that the 41 second goddess's existence (as i barely understand it) was put in a fictional movie, however. Imagine working for the government and finding out that a throwaway joke in Avatar actually spells the birth of an eldritch being.
10881503
[checks]
Ah, thanks. Hm. Well, strictly speaking, I don't think a semicolon is mechanically correct there. This does also seem, though, like a case where deliberately breaking a guideline could be justifiable due to the effect achieved. I think the current version can work if those two things it separates were separate events; if they were actually part of the same thing and happening at about the same time, though, a comma might be better. Ultimately up to you, though, of course.
10882460
in-setting it's actually a "historical drama" movie! think dunkirk or something. the battle of the bell is a pivotal historical moment in the refoundation of equestria; it makes a lot of sense for movies to be made about it. pinkie getting discord's power to end the fight is an actual historical event depicted accurately in the film. it's just that most creatures don't really think through the implications of something like that because it's not their job to be paranoid about everything.
10883406
aww but i like semicolons!
10900244
Hey, me too! [offers hoofbump of mutual semicolon appreciation] :)
Useful things, and sometimes underappreciated, I think; still, that doesn't mean they go well everywhere.
As I said, though, I do think that it can work here, with the right intended meaning (because English is a mess of a language -- but sometimes that's useful!); I just don't know if that meaning, the one the version with the semicolon communicates at least to me, is the one you intended.
(I also didn't know if you'd want to break that guideline even if it was -- but it sounds like that question has been answered. :D)
I love this story and not just because of the StarTrix. Well... Maybe mostly because of it. ^^
The fact that the state of the world and reason behind protagonists' need for escape to another world is kept vague makes sense, as it would take focus off Starlight/Trixie drama, if more details were provided. Plus all the vagueness lets the author to hammer out details of this story point in some future fanfic.
Great story! I loved the mystery behind why they need to leave and I absolutely love the StarTrix
But uh… just one question.
Flurry dies first?
I have so many questions. Like… in front of Cadance… or did she not know and hang on to try and protect Flurry? If she did know then she still held on despite her loosing flurry. Sorry I’m morbid.
Great stuff. Stories like this really embody one of my favorite principles about, well, anything ever. The devil is in the details. The epic backdrop was making me want more of whatever unfortunate apocalyptic adventure led to this moment, and how Starlight and Trixie's love is ready to be taken to new worlds. The emotion, the ending moments, all of it was pitch-perfect and epic in emotional scope. Somehow, you took the slice of an epic that normally would span 100k words and gave us the isolated climax with a heavy punch of gripping queer world-building. It really tickles how much I love when stories bother to make these kinds of elements important while still including a drastically different focal plot, one that is often starkly darker or different from the gritty real-world dramas and slice of life that spawned a lot of queer fiction's origins.
Hella goodest shit. 🅱lease write more of this pretty poggers adventure, however ill-fated it may have been on one side of the mirror.
Really nice. It was interesting to see Trixie's concerns about the human world, and it made perfect sense for her to be worried about that even under those circumstances. I'm glad they managed to escape in the end.
Trixie is such a mood, and yes, I did want to give her a hug.
I find the double trans analogue interesting here. Trixie already knowns how it feels to be in the wrong body, so she doesn’t want to do anything that could make her feel like that again. It makes sense. I know the feeling of gender dysphoria, and you could be having the best day of your life, and then one wrong thing happens, such as the idea of being in a different body, and oops, there go your marbles.
Starlight’s reassurance is also pretty touching. Dealing with someone who is having an episode of gender dysphoria relies on patience and understanding (as with most other things). It’s nice to see Starlight fighting for what she knows is right, and is going a great job of understanding Trixie.
I also loved the ending, with Trixie going with Starlight to at least try and play her cards in a new locale. I have a feeling she’ll be beautiful regardless of what she looks like on the other side.
The detail is a bit overabundant for my tastes, but that’s exclusively for my tastes, great and realistic (funnily enough) story regardless.
Until next time; be awesome!
-Dashie
I don't understand what's going on at all. there is no magic in the human world, they could put her there and kill her in a melee ?