Warning: The following story you are about to read contains mentions of violence, death, the afterlife, F/M, M/M, sex (don't panic, all the characters that do so will be 18, consensual and mentioned breifly), talk of sex, suicide, and figuring what to do with eternity. If you are uncomfortable with one or many of these things, you know where the exit button is.
Neither Gallus nor Sandbar expected to die so early, but at least it was dying while saving the world. With their lives over, all that they expected was a simple slip into darkness for eternity. Never did they imagine that what awaited them was paradise for their deeds and actions.
Of course, one doesn’t just accept or come to terms with their sudden death. Especially at such a young age. There are regrets, questions, and discoveries about oneself that come with the prospect of being welcomed into Heaven. Some of these experiences can be welcoming and others can be sorrowful moments in an otherwise bright and happy world.
Yet, perhaps the biggest experience is one that will see the two bond past the flames of friendship and into the waters of love. After all, everything is possible in the afterlife.
Co-Written by: Rated Ponystar
Edited by: TheAncientPolitzanian and Babroniedad
Cover Art by: LupiArts
Don’t forget that fire monster.
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/5/5e/Twilight_and_Luster_pass_by_stained_glass_windows_S9E26.png/revision/latest?cb=20191028202708
10776540
Fixed and thanks.
I hope you don't get flak for one of them being a seventeen year-old fictional angel ghost cartoon magical talking horse person, but you take a dangerous risk among the readership of Fimfiction when Sandbar's transparent-ghosty-wing-thing falls below the age* of fictional angel ghost cartoon magical talking horse person consent.
(*Which, for the record, is thirty-six. Obviously.)
10776819
Oh don't worry, since this is the first story that’s been written out from start to finish, I'm very aware of this. All I ask is to be patient with this story. There will be a point where that changes. One of them will turn 18, but even then, it will be a while before any romance between the characters really start to blossom.
10776830
Hmm. Well, I suppose that's okay as long as you have their fictional angel ghost cartoon magical talking horse person birth certificate well-documented and officially notarized in the story. (Although fictional angel ghost cartoon equine-based notaries public are a lot harder to locate than you might think.)
10777128
That's covered in the next chapter.
We are going to see how the girls deal with the loss right?
10777485
Oh hell yeah
10777488
Good to know. Also when did the kiss happen?
10777502
Which kiss?
10777505
This one
10777517
She kissed him right after they fooled the stone warriors they were dead
10777517
Correction
10777558
I do not know how I missed that.
Good evening,
If I may make a suggestuon to improve the experience of this story, I think you should call this afterlife Elysium instead of Heaven. There are several reasons for this.
First, many of the creatures in Equestria hail from Greek Mythology, so it would make more sense for them to go to the Greek afterlife, rather than Heaven. Heaven is primarily an aspect of Judaism and Christianity.
Second, Heaven is synonymous with ultimate perfection, a constant state of satisfaction and contentment, lack of any kind of a want, and zero conflict of any kind; while Elysium is more of a second life with possibilities for uncertainty, conflict, and desires. Elysium's not conpletely perfect nature simply has more leeway to make for an interesting story, while Heaven by definition cannot provide the plot you desire. Going by what you put in the summary, Gallus and Sandbar are supposedly going to face some uncertainties/fears/issues/problems. This would be impossible in Heaven, but fit right in home in Elysium. (Also, Heaven suggests the presence of the LORD and Christ, and I don't think you plan on going in that direction with this.)
Maybe I've been playing Supergiant Game's "Hades" too much, but I really do think your story would benefit by having it take place in an Elysium style afterlife. Calling it Heaven seems to break immersion a little too much.
10778672
I will not lie, this will be a complicated thing to answer. If anything, I actually find this rather... awkward to tell you the truth. Because if this was written how I usually do, (whereby I just write out and immediately post one chapter at a time) I would have gone on with the name change easily. I would be able to change it while it's still in production so to speak. However, the circumstances have changed because this is the first story that has been entirely written out from beginning to end. In other words, things have been written down in a certain way that if something is changed and it clashes with descriptions, characters, etc... I'm just concern about creating even more confusion as this kind of afterlife is - I guarantee it - not exactly like how Elysium would even function. Not only that, but this had a co-author, so even if I agree with you, I would have to get consent from him too. Whether or not he would agree that doing so wouldn't affect the story as a whole... I currently don't know.
Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm saying no. It's just that since the story has already been written up, that it makes mentioning of such things as reapers, angels, and much, much later on the Creator God (no, not Faust. And yeah... kinda... sorta the one you're thinking of). It's that I'm in an awkward position where I'm not sure if doing so would be a good idea or if it might risk mass confusion.
10778731
No problem. It's just that the Afterlife is a real hard concept to grasp/write about. I once read a Sonic X fanfic called Cosmo: A Metarex Story or something like that, and it tried something like this, and it was BAAAAAAAD! So, I got nervous going into this. The two of you have a serious challenge on your hands and I thought that using Greek Mythology as a guide might be helpful. Either way, im sure your story will be good just the way it is as long as you write smart, which I know you two can. Your stories are always top notch on this site, your two of the famous ones.
Damn. Poor Gallus. Hope he has at least one ancestor that wasn't a pile of mule droppings. I rather like your depiction of Heaven, though the waiting room gave me some serious Beetlejuice vibes
.
10781669
Probably was based off of Beetlejuice.
That was quite the chapter. I seriously didn't expect to get emotional at times great job! Really hope the Changeling that Gallus and Sandbar met made it, I liked him. It's a real bummer about Gallus' parents, hopefully there is a family member in Heaven that he can talk to. Looking forward to what's next!
There is actually one thing though.....
What the heck did that guy do?
10781803
She*
10782340
Oh, thanks.
10782397
You're welcome mate
10782340
The changeling and the hippogriff are two different characters. The hippogriff is a he.
10782711
i was referring to the changeling and my comment had nothing to do with the hippogriff.
10781803
Ya know, while the Changeling and the Hippogriff weren't our main focus (be it on Sandbar and Gallus) it does leave up to the imagination of what became of them. In a way, this was done on purpose throughout this story. Yet, if you like, I could toss my hat into the ring. Although, keep in mind, even though I'm the author, don't necessarily take my word as cannon.
In my head, the Changeling, although nervous and worried, did get into Heaven. But I confess, I don't know what she ends up doing with her afterlife.
As to the hippogriff that was sent to Hell, for some reason, I could see that in life, he was one of the Hippogriff nobility. Someone who cared about the kingdom so much that he had planned to build up a navy to try to conquer the world. But before he could do that, I can see him advocating for isolationist policies for the kingdom, but the Queen rejected it outright. So in bitterness, he used his anger and hatred to gather up an army - probably to try to overthrow the Queen, launch his navy, and use that momentous hatred to commit genocides. Fortunately, he had died before he could do anything about it. All that time, he claims that he didn't do anything wrong, and placed the blame squarely on the Storm King.
At least, that's what I think had happened. But still, don't think this is set in stone. I'd like to see how others would look at this and interpreted how certain things played out.
10783219
Thank you
Wow... Just wow.
10797011
Yeah, that.
This is just... wow. Brilliantly written.
10797586
And considering that this is just chapter three of ten. Trust me when I say that things are gonna get interesting from here.
You just had to take a red-hot knife and shove it into my heart, twist it, pull it out as brutally as possible, fill up the hole with salt, and then shove a cactus into it for good measure at the end there, didn't you?
Loved this chapter, really liked those comedic photoshoots before the funeral.
Overall, a great third chapter for a great story.
So what's EF? Because the year 1111 happened in season 8, if they base the calendar around the first sunrise.
I really hope you finish this story. One thing that bugs me about this fandom is how often a story is started but never finished. That makes me grind my teeth more than anything.
10816239
Firstly, I do apologize for the wait.
Secondly, as I have stated before, this is the first story I've ever done where it is entirely been written out from beginning to end.
Thirdly, the main reason why I haven't updated any new chapters is that I'm still waiting on my two editors to comb through them before I could post it. Hopefully, we will see that next chapter be posted soon, though I can't guarantee when exactly, but it will be up.
More more MORE MORE!!!!
WE CRAVE MORE!!!!!
you are a very good writer.
I'm not crying, you're crying! Shut up!
Daaaawww.
Can't wait for more
Marvelous work. Keep it up!
What a sweet chapter
Ooh, great turn to take the story in. You can show us many sides of your version of heaven, see many things, meet many creatures. And it really makes sense too, Sandbar and Gallus have been kind of aimless so far, so for Sandbars grandmother to now give them a goal is a great way to give the story focus. Props for the prepwork to get to this point too. Looking forward to the rest of the story.
10902865
Thank you for the compliment.
In a way, I kinda compare the structure of the story to Shakespeare's "A Winter's Tale." (A highly underrated play, I may add.) That in its five acts, the first two are considered a tragedy while the rest is a comedy. I bring this up because, in a way, you are technically right that up until this point, Sandbar and Gallus were aimless in what they should do. And to be fair, they have recently died and had just found a way to bid their loved ones goodbye. Still, since this is technically a romance, both Rated Ponystar and I tried to figure out what should they do after everything is said and done.
Fortunately, the answer came with the unique idea about Heaven itself. It's based on the thought that if you're going to go to an afterlife, wouldn't you prefer to be in a place that's (for lack of better words) familiar? What would Heaven look like if it was really just their world but perfected in the right ways while being flawed just enough to be continuously interesting. So yes, for them to literally wander around Heaven is a fantastic excuse for their relationship to grow.
I swear I'm not crying damnit.
"I wonder what he meant when he said I'll find out..."
(sigh)
As Rick Sanchez once said, "Let me get my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming."
Well.... this was quite a chapter
10949272
Believe it or not, this chapter was so long that it was cut in half. Soon you'll see that second half.
10949314
I was referring to how dark it got with the "what if" scenarios.
Sandbar, you cannot be this oblivious forever, get the griff already!
Anyway, great chapter!