Blindness, contrary to what Rainbow had always imagined, was not like being in a dark room.
Winner of the first Anonymous Contest for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group . Originally written in 75 minutes, this version here has received some mild refinement.
The art is by Mark Chadwick on Flickr and is licenced under a Creative Commons license.
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Agh, like a dagger to the heart, Seer. I don't even know what else to say, honestly; just know that I'll be thinking about this and nothing but for the next several hours. Lovely work
I'll repeat what I said on the original draft of this story: It is a flawless gut punch. It was far and away the best story in a contest full of great stories. It's a fantastic piece, and I think one of the best things you've written to date.
I actually am tearing up as I write this comment. This story made me cry during the contest and here again. Wonderful job Seer and the few edits you made only enhanced this beautiful and bittersweet story. I like the focus on the idea of RD and AJ ‘switching’ elements and of the detailed and vivid imagery of Rainbow’s sight. There are few words to express how much I truly enjoyed this story. Well done.
Is the art a random thing found of google, because I swear that I can see princess luna, or nightmare moon, in the bottom right corner, with a teal unicorn guard next to her on the left, and a hint of fluttershy in that yellow and pink splotch neat the middle.
Your prose is as strong as it ever is! Even if I didn't know for certain who wrote this one during the contest this really did blow everything else out of the water in a way few people can. Fantastic work, man, this one'll be with me for awhile.
Wow...
My favourite part was the similar paragraphs at the start of each scene.
This is a gorgeously emotional story. I don't know what to call it other than "art"!
This...this was deep. Incredible job!
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Agreed. Beautiful work, Seer. Dash's plight is heart-rending, and her thoughts/reactions to her legal blindness fit her perfectly. It's sad to see how much she believed Fluttershy was with her in her last few moments when, in reality, she was waiting patiently for Rainbow's arrival in heaven. Applejack was portrayed excellently as well, and the switch of elements was fitting. This was a sad but magnificent picture to paint, and I very much enjoyed it. :)
Heart-strangling
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Man, just take the fave. Holy shit.
WOO, very nice! Your description of color has a psychedelic quality to it. It adds that perfect little surrealist edge to offset the weight of the story's subject matter. Awesome stuff, thanks for sharing!
This gave me many tears. Thank you for this, it's wonderful.
Bravo. Right in the feels.
Thank you for writing.
Poignant and quick, like a need through a vein, but not nearly as painless.
Nice work, especially considering the initial time constraint.
I haven't read your story yet. Another excellent story based on this idea is:
- MLP: FiM
- Romance
- Dark
- Sad
- Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash is blind.Beautiful.
So sad when it seems like Fluttershy can barely stand to be around her anymore... then so beautiful when you realize what is actually going on.
> It was almost funny how their elements seemed to have switched in these recent years
Applejack generally seems more loyal and Rainbow Dash more honest through the course of the show, too.
:/
Another great "pony gets old and dies" story from you, Seer! That sounds facetious, but all of these have been really good. I especially love the way you presented the colors here.
Ehhh-hehhh-hehhh! ;____; Why are you so meeeeean to meeeee?
You know what, I was doing good until you revealed Fluttershy wasn't actually there, something also perfectly foreshadowed. That's when you got me.
10/10.
This reminds me greatly of the album Everywhere At the End of Time by James Leyland Kirby. It was supposed to document one man's slow descent into dementia, the eventual decay of memory and the horrifying inability to grasp any of the things that used to be so familiar. Or those pictures that say "can you recognize anything in this picture?" and it basically looks like a visual representation of a stroke.... There are Youtube vids reviewing it.
This fic has those vibes, so yeah thanks for bringing back some of the most stomach-churning existential dread I've ever suffered in my short ass life. Thank you so much.
Im gonna have some coffee and a cigarette and see if I stop crying. Kudos, that's good writing. That's what art's supposed to do.
This may be short in word count, but it is dummy thicc with feelings. Lovely work.
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Same here :(
I always though as rainbow dash as the youngest one, but probably would die before on an accident or something
Wow, that’s amazing.. 😭😭