• Member Since 16th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen May 7th, 2020

Dianwei32


E

Could I have seen this coming? Perhaps not, but maybe... maybe I should have. Now, I can only ask myself if I'm strong enough to let you go.


Pre-reading and editing assistance provided by the wonderful Steel Resolve and Karrakaz.
Cover art provided by Jondor.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

Don't worry Fluttershy, even if FlutterDash won't prevail :fluttercry: you still have LunaShy:yay:
It's not as awesome, but it's still one of your best ship :heart:

You feathermarked her.

:rainbowderp:

:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Excellent story, my dear fellow. I don't read much, but I'm glad I took my time to check this story out! :pinkiehappy:

3448176 Well, you kind of invented the gesture, and that's what you called it, so it only made sense to use your term.

3448191

It's still amazing seeing it in other fics! :rainbowkiss:

I decided to give this story an honest chance. Putting my personal feelings aside for a moment, it was still well-written and it's very sad. What Rainbow did was terrible, you can tell how much she truly regrets it and had wanted to do the right thing.

My real problem with this is the ending. I may be alone in this, but when someone goes and pairs the brokenhearted one with someone else just like that so they won't be alone-that's just a cheap cop-out. I think the story would've ended so much better if you'd left it at Rainbow walking away and Fluttershy sitting there crying.

But the last-minute LunaShy seems really unnatural and kind of breaks what the story brought. Especially since Luna is actually laying it on thick, right after Fluttershy just broke up with the pony she loves. This is going to lead to a serious rebound issue. It just felt like it wasn't supposed to be there but was thrown in at the last minute. And again, LunaShy? All of that? Where did it come from? It all just comes out of nowhere, raises too many questions, but the story's already over and we don't have time to let it sink in. We're supposed to be glad that Fluttershy found love in Luna, but honestly, it feels cheap and forced just so Fluttershy isn't alone.

If this had been done in a follow-up, with a lot more work to the idea, it would've been better. I'm not saying LunaShy can't work with a good story. I'm saying that it just didn't need to be here. It feels like a last-minute attempt to make her happy.

As well as that, Luna feels interchangeable here. She could be ANYONE and it would've had the same effect.

So, the ending really hurts it a bit. The rest of it works as a sad, heartbreaking way to break FlutterDash in favour of AppleDash. But then LunaShy comes right out of nowhere, with no buildup or any kind of precedent, and everything's okay? It really doesn't flow well at all. If it had been Luna offering her friendship or a friendly ear, that'd be a lot better. But this just doesn't work.

this was a great story and im hoping there is another chapter:fluttershysad:

I have to agree with 3448197 here.

It was a fine story and well written, except for the LunaShy ending.

I personally buy it because I think LunaShy is a fine ship, but it really needs a little more setup here. You've hinted at their backstory, but it's just not quite meaty enough to really sell the premise. Expand on those hints a bit and I think you'll have a solid story from beginning to end.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Why would this be added to Flutterdash, if it isn't. It is Appledash! URG!

3449073 It is FlutterDash early on, it just isn't by the end.

Ok at first I was like :fluttershysad: then I was like :pinkiehappy: and THEN I was like :pinkiegasp: then finally I was like :scootangel:

Another case of the incarnate of loyalty borderline cheating?
Also I'll never get Appledash (or Luna-Shy for that matter), maybe it wouldn't have upset me this much if it wasn’t that much propaganda...

being abandoned by the pony you love was worse than dying.

oh god
Keep on writing, this was great.

I wonder a bit if the feathermarking was more subconscious than anything. I am a bit conflicted regarding RD here. I just don't think she would do something that could be construed as disloyal in romance any more than anything else she would do. All other aspects of this story I can imagine happening, but her sneaking around behind Fluttershy's back seems too much. Then again, it's not like the elements are perfect in their given element either. AJ's occasional truth stretching, or Fluttershy's temper for instance.
I guess it's likely RD just told herself she wasn't being disloyal to Fluttershy as long as she never actually did something with AJ, like a kiss, or the like. The feathermarking is a pretty clear violation, but that could have been anything from a subconscious action to her thinking "it doesn't count, because AJ doesn't know what it means".
I actually liked the Luna bit at the end, myself. Need more Lunashy. And it didn't really feel forced, though a smidge out of nowhere. But hey, princesses do that sometimes. :trollestia:

Oh, and I am totally stalking you now. :pinkiehappy:

I just felt immense need to chase down Dash and pluck her bald! No one make Flutters cry and gets away with it! At least she got to trade up to a princess. Can't do much better than that.

3448195 Is it ok if I use it? :pinkiehappy:

Wow good work there, poor Fluttershy i really wanted to hit Dash, and some Lunashy? damn is kind of hard to find Lunashy and even harder a story that make it look good :D

3450177
I don't think an elaborate gesture like that would be something that happened unconscious. It sounds much more like something social protocol brought forth, its whole meaning is way to complex and metaphorical to be natural.

that was so sweet! i love appledash! and i feel so sad and sorry for fluttershy.. but the ending was.. perfect!! luna and shy? i never really got a chance to read a fanfic about those two... well.. i think i'll be reading one now!! :rainbowkiss: GREAT FANFIC!! :heart:

Some folks pointed me at this earlier, talking about the ending of this.

I think I agree, but I don't think it is a huge problem or really breaks the fic. I do think it isn't as strong of an ending as it could be, though - the point of the story is Fluttershy letting go, and while I actually think her talking to someone about it had the potential to be okay, I think that inserting Luna in as a romantic interest in the end was a mistake. LunaShy is just off-topic and out of nowhere.

I'll add my two bits in here as well to agree that the LunaShy ending, while cute, was a little bit out of place and could have used a lot more backing to make it fit.

I knew just from the description that this would break me and I was right. I'm a little conflicted about the ending though. On the one hand it was pretty cute but on the other hand it came out of nowhere and wasn't entirely necessary.

I liked this story, it was sad in all the right places and everyone felt really in character for me. I will admit the Luna ending was a bit rushed but from when Flutters woke up on the couch feeling allright I was kinda suspecting it to happen. And yes it was rushed but you write really well so the scenes were still great to read through for me. Hope to see more like this, wouldn't be too sad with a continuation mostly about Lunashy, but that's just me. : )

I'm not sure how feasible this might be, but perhaps the LunaShy could be removed from the end and used as the beginning of its own sequel.

Don't cry don't cry don't cry :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

Eh don't mind those ponys I loved the lunashy it was adorable and combining two of my fav ponys woot now I'm determined to find a long story with them

I vote we go throw Rainbow Dash in the Retard Box, for frickin kissing AJ, then saying that she likes Fluttershy still.

3673548 I think she meant it more that she didn't want to lose her in her life not so much in a romantic sense.

Wooh let me walk you through my emotional roller coaster. 1. Here comes the feels train all aboard. 2. AJ couldn't be cheating like that with Rainbow she wouldn't 3. Shoo I knew it no way she would do that to Fluttershy. 4. Here it is the big break up scene the feels are strong. 5. Warm fuzzies as Luna comes to comfort Flutters. 6. Lunashy whhaaa.
Awesome story :ajsmug: I would love to maybe get a sequel

Some people point out that Rainbow Dash wouldn't do this; it would be too disloyal to her mate in question.

Well, you have to remember, folks: Rainbow Dash isn't perfect. I know she's the Element of Loyalty, but if Fluttershy isn't giving her what she needs in a relationship, she'll seek it elsewhere. She's not just loyal to everypony else; she's also loyal to herself and her needs. Where her loyalty is coming in here is her dedication to not hurting Fluttershy's feelings with a break-up, and instead having the fulfillment she needs on the side instead.

To her, Fluttershy is boring. She can't stand rummages through the flower fields and feeding and caring for sick animals all day. She needs excitement and adventure, and heavens knows that Flutters can't give that to her.

My biggest complaint is the Lunashy at the end. Now, I love Lunashy, and I especially love AppleDash, but I can't reconcile the broadsiding by Luna as well as some others can. I think it should have ended with the break-up, and Fluttershy assuring herself that everything would be alright in the end.

If you wanted to do a sequel with the Lunashy, however... I certainly wouldn't object. :pinkiehappy:

Good story, overall.

Wow. Just, wow. It was just so sad and only got sadder. I almost shed a tear. :fluttercry: That doesn't happen to me, ever. And I've watched some sad anime moments. Then Luna comes in and helps lift the mood. Fabulous. And it captures RD very well. I could see her doing it. I never really saw FlutterDash as realistic anyway. Though there are some great fics for the ship. Great fic.

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