• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Seer


You think those blue giants feel the same? You think they have these days?

T

Twilight knew that when two ponies loved each other as much as she and Rarity did, moving in together would make everything better.
So why wasn't that happening now?


Winner of the 'Classic Contest' in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group. Written in an hour and presented with minor edits here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 10 )

Damn.

Just... damn. What an amazing portrayal of a relationship unable to survive the toils of daily life, all compressed into so few words without feeling lacking. The way the good moments are woven into the present is masterful, and I'm left feeling a profound sadness that I'll need to mull over for a bit.

Thank you for writing this.

Oh man...This, this reminds me of my last relationship, the first time I had ever been broken up with. We never got to the stage of moving in together, but we separated a couple weeks before our 6 month anniversary. Little things that build up over time, things unsaid and empty reassurances that everything is ‘fine’...this hit me way too hard dude :raritydespair:

What’s the contest going on atm?

Beautifully written and so very moving. It's sad to watch the fractures start. Always small at first but growing when those situations are discussed properly. It was hard to see the hurt and sadness, as well as the lack of willingness to communicate and understand. Despite caring so much for each other, there is so much tension.

This reminds me so much of my marriage and it's gradual failure. But that's another story.

Thank you so much for writing this story.

“Yes, and I always wanted you to just realise a lot of things Twilight. That’s the game, after all. We date, we have fun, we sleep together. We build our connection, like castle walls. Then, when we finally meet the real versions of each other, we hope the walls are strong enough to withstand the flood.”

“So, what… we weren’t strong enough?” Twilight asked quietly, terrified as she felt the castle collapse around them.

“You tell me, Twilight,” Rarity replied, managing a small, bitter laugh.

At this point, the whole thing clicked for me. The symbolic realization of their situation, the time where the hunt for words finally ends with none at all, the gravity of seeing two people drawn by their similarities fall because of the inability to step back from the same pull.

Because the closer you are, the more you can please another - but also, the more you notice the warts.

And lo, what becomes of those that try to push it away.

Thank you, in the Speedwriting workshop, and in here, for a fantastic FIMFic. If anyone deserves sinbox status, Seer, it's you.

This was a fantastically written story that shows how minor grievances can build up over time. Intercutting their earlier happy interactions, and as the story goes on showing the problems existed back then too, was a great choice. Hopefully they get counseling and work things out.

I've never been in a relationship. My only view into it has been through various works, as well as observing my friends who are in relationships. I've yet to see one fall apart in a bad way, and I hope I never have to see that for myself. I think you captured that well in this story, how sometimes things are good and then they aren't, and they get far past the point of, potentially, fixing. That you did it in so few words speaks volumes as well. Communication earlier may have helped things for Rarity and Twilight, but there's no guarantee.

I will quote one of my favorite Sondheim songs though, "Being Alive":

"Hey, buddy, don't be afraid that it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be."

...Dang.

Very well executed. Kudos.

Nice fic, just wish there was more of it.

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