• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
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A mare reflects on being in love with a goddess.

Winner of Lofty Wither's Pride Contest in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group

A gift for themoontonite for always being an unfailingly kind and chill person who never fails to cheer me up.
This story is for the Pride and Positivity Event, happy pride month to you all
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Chapters (4)
Comments ( 19 )

God, this story is beautiful. The repetition, the pure poetry of these verses. Wonderful. One of the best romances I've read. Well done as always, Seer.

P.S. If you don't write more tender romance fics I'm going to break your kneecaps.


I can hardly stand just how gorgeous this piece is. What was my comment on this in the contest?

there is nothing i could possibly say, no greater overarching comment i could offer that would improve this fic. perhaps im biased (i am) but even without that bias, this piece is one of my favorite things ive ever read. this is pure romance. these are words that might never leave me. thank you for writing this

Yeah, that. This is poetry. This is love written, this is the deepest most honest parts of a lovers soul laid bare, this is the culmination of a millenia of love and want and hope distilled into two thousand words and it shakes me to my very core to even behold it.

Here's a bit from each chapter I really liked.

My blood has always run rather hot.

This is the start of the repetition, which does wonders for this fic. It's a trick I'm absolutely going to steal (if I ever remember to) and I think starts to solidify it's poetic, almost hymn-like base. Wonderful stuff.

That I didn’t save myself right from the beginning for a mare that can eclipse the stars and make the sun itself look dim, and can return to me what the cruel seasons leave trapped in memory of light and heat and sweat.

This. "...light and heat and sweat." is just, it's love. It's love at its limits, straining but not breaking under the baleful gaze of the sun; it's the heat that consumes the lovers heart. It's beyond moving. It stirs the very depths of my soul. It's also extremely relatable.

No, what makes me stop, after I wonder about a life spent where I might not be always possessed by her, where I don’t submit myself as a parishioner in the face of almighty god, is when a simple notion occurs to me.

Uuuugh this whole chapter is just beautiful, a deconstruction of the self-deprecation inherent in the kind of love that burns the hands of the lover, that sears their loves name onto their tongues; again my mind drifts to a hymn and it's in this chapter that I feel the reverence clearest. This story is a prayer.

Because though I know I am a mere mortal, and she is a goddess, I still spent my life jealously hoarding away light and heat and bright things, and I make no plans to change now.

This last chapter is hard to describe and indeed hard to pick a favorite part from because it brings us back down to earth, the reality of love in the physical world versus the heady exaltation of the lovers mind. This, though, "...jealously hoarding away light and heat and bright things, ..." is perhaps my favorite line from this entire piece. It's this flawless distillation of Celestia's character before all of this, before being exposed to the light and heat of a goddess, before true love eclipsed and indeed stole away the heat of the sun that burned within her; and indeed it's only natural for her to hide and keep secret that burning part of her lest she have her fire similarly stolen. I dunno. This fic is beautiful. You're beautiful. Thank you.

Holy shit.

I... I have no words. You've taken all the best ones, anyways, and woven them into something magnificent. This is a sublime reading experience, and it's given me a lot of think about in regards to their relationship. I adore the way they see each other, and I'm going to have to spend some time reflecting on them as a couple in the context of this fic in order to gain a better understanding of them.

This speaks to my gay soul ♡

The whole time I was thinking that this really does not sound like Rarity writing. Then it was revealed that it was not, in fact, Rarity. Well played.

This was amazingly written! At first I did actually think the narrator was Celestia, but then partway through the first chapter, I thought that didn't feel right and assumed it was Rarity. I went through the same thing in the second chapter, assuming it would be alternating narrators, then deciding that wasn't the case. And of course at the end we got the reveal that Celestia was describing Rarity.

I will admit, even with the quality of the prose, there was a disconnect for me. Despite being aromantic, I usually connect just fine to romance, but I guess it was the love poem structure that just broke it for me, with it emphasizing the imbalance in their relationship.

Pure genius! Thank you for writing this story.

Nice job, Seer. A very poetic piece with great imagery and repetition.

Oh, nice twist!

Although, if this is in the same continuity as Seraphim, Rarity's in for a lot

I've been bamboozled. It was nice.

I'm thinking that this is Celestia focusing on Rarity. You're clearly keeping the names out for a reason, as well as trying to omit other key details. You want me to think that this is how Rarity would see Celestia. But there are little touches to the voice, certain usages of words that appear to give her away.

Don't think I can't see past your tricks, Britbong.

It’s my domain, really. A part of me I cannot and would not excise.

How do you expect me to believe that this isn't Celestia, hm?

This would be incredibly amusing to me. I'm starting to wonder if there is a way to give Seer the brain-worms to let the idea happen.

Author Interviewer

Damn you, you double-got me! D:<

Greetings. Your reading has been completed and can be found here. I hope you enjoy.

YES! I knew it!

But even through all that, it’s not that thought which makes me discard these notions and return to attempting to glimpse even just an afterthought of her shine, climbing on wax wings that could incinerate at any moment. No, what makes me stop, after I wonder about a life spent where I might not be always possessed by her, where I don’t submit myself as a parishioner in the face of almighty god, is when a simple notion occurs to me.

This right here is probably my fav part of the whole poem. Love the musical rhythm this part has, even if it's unintentionally :raritywink:

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