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Verse 1: In Flames231 words
Verse 2: The Light Of The Sun404 words
Verse 3: Prometheus371 words
Verse 4: Kveikur522 words

Verse 4: Kveikur

My blood has always run rather hot.

And yet right now, I am sweating.

No, right now I am coming apart.

No, right now I am catching fire.

Because I am but one pony in a sea of faces and she is up there, commanding all of us. And we are distant stars eclipsed by the sun. And yet through so much of it, I watch the crowd. I watch with amusement how they stammer, how they gawp in utter disbelief that fire can be made flesh as she has been.

And when her eyes meet mine, in those flashes she needs to lean and I am here to be leant on, she smirks. Something playful and secret and sultry and only for me. That none of these other fools, who are even more blinded by those lights than someone who has touched the sun, could ever understand.

She knows what I do at times like this, she knows how I watch and laugh inwardly. At how they try to fathom perfection that even I cannot fathom after touching and kissing and being burnt by it. Because though I know I am a mere mortal, and she is a goddess, I still spent my life jealously hoarding away light and heat and bright things, and I make no plans to change now.

Because I might be a simple, mortal mare who stole fire from the heavens, but that fire is my fire, and that goddess is my goddess, and when she is done we all stand in rapturous applause.

When she leaves that stage, and parts the crowd like the sea on her way to find the only mortal that has come close to withstanding her shine, I simply stand and hope I can be her beacon. But, of course, she can always find me.

“How was it then, darling? I have to admit, I felt like I was going to die up there! I guess everyone feels like that on their first catwalk in Canterlot, though!” she says, and I am at once enraptured by the music of her voice, which is purer and more harmonious than the finest symphony, “You couldn’t tell how nervous I was, could you?”

“You were perfect, Rarity,” I respond, and lean down to capture those lips in mine.

And though it burns me, it’s a willing burn.

“Celestia,” she giggles, and I melt, once we part, “Me, kissing the princess in public like this? What will the papers say?”

“Let them look,” I reply, gasping, drunk on the scent of her perfume and the hitch in her breath that tells me I might just be able to ignite her back a fraction of how she ignites me, “They wouldn’t understand anyway.”

She smirks, and leans back in, and she burns away every part of me but my love for her and my worship and reverence for the sun. And though the mortals might have stared, I did not care for them.

I only cared to be the one mortal lucky enough to have gotten close to truly fathoming the divine, if only for a second.

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wishcometrue

wishcometrue #1 · Jul 5th, 2020 · 9 · ·

God, this story is beautiful. The repetition, the pure poetry of these verses. Wonderful. One of the best romances I've read. Well done as always, Seer.

P.S. If you don't write more tender romance fics I'm going to break your kneecaps.

IncandescentSolaire

IncandescentSolaire #2 · Jul 5th, 2020 · 5 · ·

Truly Incandescent.

themoontonite

themoontonite #3 · Jul 5th, 2020 · 1 · 1 ·

You.

I can hardly stand just how gorgeous this piece is. What was my comment on this in the contest?

there is nothing i could possibly say, no greater overarching comment i could offer that would improve this fic. perhaps im biased (i am) but even without that bias, this piece is one of my favorite things ive ever read. this is pure romance. these are words that might never leave me. thank you for writing this

Yeah, that. This is poetry. This is love written, this is the deepest most honest parts of a lovers soul laid bare, this is the culmination of a millenia of love and want and hope distilled into two thousand words and it shakes me to my very core to even behold it.

Here's a bit from each chapter I really liked.

My blood has always run rather hot.

This is the start of the repetition, which does wonders for this fic. It's a trick I'm absolutely going to steal (if I ever remember to) and I think starts to solidify it's poetic, almost hymn-like base. Wonderful stuff.

That I didn’t save myself right from the beginning for a mare that can eclipse the stars and make the sun itself look dim, and can return to me what the cruel seasons leave trapped in memory of light and heat and sweat.

This. "...light and heat and sweat." is just, it's love. It's love at its limits, straining but not breaking under the baleful gaze of the sun; it's the heat that consumes the lovers heart. It's beyond moving. It stirs the very depths of my soul. It's also extremely relatable.

No, what makes me stop, after I wonder about a life spent where I might not be always possessed by her, where I don’t submit myself as a parishioner in the face of almighty god, is when a simple notion occurs to me.

Uuuugh this whole chapter is just beautiful, a deconstruction of the self-deprecation inherent in the kind of love that burns the hands of the lover, that sears their loves name onto their tongues; again my mind drifts to a hymn and it's in this chapter that I feel the reverence clearest. This story is a prayer.

Because though I know I am a mere mortal, and she is a goddess, I still spent my life jealously hoarding away light and heat and bright things, and I make no plans to change now.

This last chapter is hard to describe and indeed hard to pick a favorite part from because it brings us back down to earth, the reality of love in the physical world versus the heady exaltation of the lovers mind. This, though, "...jealously hoarding away light and heat and bright things, ..." is perhaps my favorite line from this entire piece. It's this flawless distillation of Celestia's character before all of this, before being exposed to the light and heat of a goddess, before true love eclipsed and indeed stole away the heat of the sun that burned within her; and indeed it's only natural for her to hide and keep secret that burning part of her lest she have her fire similarly stolen. I dunno. This fic is beautiful. You're beautiful. Thank you.

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #4 · Jul 5th, 2020 · · ·

What's a Kveikur?

Undome Tinwe

Undome Tinwe #5 · Jul 6th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Holy shit.

I... I have no words. You've taken all the best ones, anyways, and woven them into something magnificent. This is a sublime reading experience, and it's given me a lot of think about in regards to their relationship. I adore the way they see each other, and I'm going to have to spend some time reflecting on them as a couple in the context of this fic in order to gain a better understanding of them.

Silent Whisper

Silent Whisper #6 · Jul 6th, 2020 · 3 · 1 ·

This speaks to my gay soul ♡

zx29b

zx29b #7 · Jul 6th, 2020 · 1 · ·

The whole time I was thinking that this really does not sound like Rarity writing. Then it was revealed that it was not, in fact, Rarity. Well played.

SigmasonicX

SigmasonicX #8 · Jul 6th, 2020 · 3 · 1 ·

This was amazingly written! At first I did actually think the narrator was Celestia, but then partway through the first chapter, I thought that didn't feel right and assumed it was Rarity. I went through the same thing in the second chapter, assuming it would be alternating narrators, then deciding that wasn't the case. And of course at the end we got the reveal that Celestia was describing Rarity.

I will admit, even with the quality of the prose, there was a disconnect for me. Despite being aromantic, I usually connect just fine to romance, but I guess it was the love poem structure that just broke it for me, with it emphasizing the imbalance in their relationship.

Commentpony