• Member Since 11th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Monochromatic


Perfect has seven letters and so does meeeeee. Ko-fi|Patreon

T

Twilight wasn't one to sit alone in bars and stare at an empty glass. On the one rare occasion she found herself in that position, however, she thought to herself that though breaking up with somepony hurt, it was far worse when it didn't hurt at all.


Small writing exercise to vent out my frustrations at life.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 25 )

I can feel the emotion in the writing. Good peice.

Only you can write a Raritwi breakup and end up back in Raritwi.

6163636

It's a shipping hell I can't get out of.

Help me, dear god, help me.

6163660

You will have 20 grandkids. And they'll all know Raritwi.

Well you made it about 80% of the way through your story to meet your original ending goal so not bad. This being a relatively short standalone story also means it's harder to get a reader emotionally invested. Your best sad ending is the ending of Inuring Eternity. Still it was a nice story. I was definitely wondering what the name and art were supposed to symbolize going into it.

6164659

Yeaaah.

Although I think Enchanted Library is going to dethrone IE tremendously.

6164768
Well now...I double checked and I don't see a sad tag on Enchanted Library. Injuring Eternity was a bittersweet ending in a way, but still very tear jerking once everything comes together at the end. Even if you didn't plan to end Enchanted Library with a sad scene, having one on par with Injuring Eternity's ending should probably warrant a sad tag. Some people go out of their way to avoid dark/sad/tragedy tags like the plague and might flip out if it was too much.

6164970

Hmmmm...

That is a good point.

It's not actually that sad but there's a moment that will be sad hmmm I hadn't thought of that omg Does it warrant a sad tag if most of it is happy except for a few chapters? It's a bit like, imagining Harry Potter was a fan fiction, would you tag it as sad because Dumbledore died in book six?

Also, I was being a bit exagerated because I very much doubt I can top the ending of IE. Also the very concept of EL itself is very sad if you take in account what happened to Twilight xD.

6165094
I think that if the basis of the story is revolving around a sad event then it should probably be tagged sad. EL is sad if you look at it from the princesses perspective like you mentioned, but the story is following Rarity. Sweet moments with Twilight and adventure seems to be the focus of the story. Having some sad scenes thrown in is pretty much to be expected in a world like EL so on just that basis I wouldn't include a sad tag. I was more concerned that the story would eventually turn in a different direction if you wanted to pull off an emotional and sad ending like IE. I'm sure all your readers will enjoy a couple chapters of sadness as long as you have the characters rebound back in the end.

6165204

Oh! Oh okay then no it does not need a sad tag.

Like between you and me and whoever reads this, Enchanted Library is gonna have the fluffiest raritwiest ending possible.

Nice piece. I think you nailed twilights thoughts.

6164768 You better fucking not! My heart can't take the feels. In between Inside Out and all this heartwrenching Twirity, I don't think I could survive any more sad endings.

(And yes, I read the last comment.)

6166280
Shhh
It's okay, Minrie, I'll be there to hold you as you cry and curse my name.:twilightsmile:

Rarity giggled. "Well, perhaps I'm being a bit over-dramatic," she admitted. "Although," she added, flipping her mane and harrumphing, "I'm sure plenty of ponies would blow up a castle for me!"


Rarity replied with silence at first, stepping up again to fix Twilight's scarf. "We..." she drifted off, her hoof still working at the fabric that had already been fixed minutes before. "Remember that time you explained what a supernova was?"

Uh... Is there a sentence or two missing? Who is Rares replying to? The silence? Besides that bothering me a bit, I liked it. Man these two are cute when they banter, even if theres a bit of sadness underlying it.

6172809

Oh my gosh, I HADN'T NOTICED THAT

I added the missing sentence omg thanks for letting me know,,,

6172968
*GASP*
Senpai noticed me~<3

Yeah, that makes more sense now. Poor purple (ex)girlfriends. Always making banter sad.

You have my emotions all tied up. I don't even know what to feel. Is it sadness? Is it hope? Sope? I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE SHOALS ARE BUT THE SHIP IS GOING ALL AHEAD FULL

6172968

Fimfic sometimes eats a paragraph when importing from google docs. Look at the text before publishing - does it look like one paragraph has an extra space between it and the next? Bam, eaten paragraph!


And hee. :raritycry:"Why can't I quit you!" :twilightblush:"You can't, so don't!":raritystarry: "Okay!"

Maybe one day I'll write something other than raritwi.

Just look to the left of this text~ :raritywink:

6172968

Fimfic sometimes eats a paragraph when importing from google docs. Look at the text before publishing - does it look like one paragraph has an extra space between it and the next? Bam, eaten paragraph!


And hee. :raritycry:"Why can't I quit you!" :twilightblush:"You can't, so don't!":raritystarry: "Okay!"

Maybe one day I'll write something other than raritwi.

Just look to the left of this text~ :raritywink:

6232717

Omg. Dumb google docs...

Also IT'S FUNNY because yesterday I read a really good fanfic where AJ and Rares broke up in similar circumstances and stayed that way, and all I could think was how I tried the same thing but in the end I'm still god damn raritwi trash. (Also I think you know the story I'm referring to :P)

Also, actually, before I forget, are you still reading Enchanted Library? There's a chapter coming up that's literally the apple family questioning Rarity for like three hours and I was wondering if maybe you could proof-read and help with the dialogue...? If you have time and want to, of course omg

6234078
Sure! I accept appledash in the fic as my payment!

Or maybe your supernova DID happen...

But now that the big boom is out of the way, you're ready to settle in as neutron stars. And pulsars as beautiful as yourselves will spin for billions upon billions of years.

6234109

omg I could pull that off, but AJ and Dash don't meet until like way, way way way later tho...

6239387 You say that as if that will stop twoo wuv!

Sure, I'll have a look. Can't guarantee it'll be quick but hey ;)

This story feels to me more like a relationship maturing than one ending. Have I gone mad entirely?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!