• Member Since 11th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Monochromatic


Perfect has seven letters and so does meeeeee. Ko-fi|Patreon

E

No matter what it may seem, or what is presented, or what you may read, please know this is a happy story.

Rarity hopes you'll remember that.

She'll try to remember, too.


Entry to the Quill and Sofa's Speedwriting's #34th contest - "Going Home". Originally ~700 words, but expanded so it could be posted as a stand alone story.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 55 )

>it's a happy story
>Is tagged sad

You're giving me mixed messages here, Mono!

10400639
corejo, i'll have you know that sad is happy for deep people!!!! ok!!!!

Wow, very well done. You never fail to make me feel things Mono, and for that, I thank you.

Me: oh! story before bed!
Me, after reading: oh dear, crying before bed!!!!

Loved and hated it

:rainbowhuh: Mono just wrote a story....... :twilightoops: Where Twilight and Rarity don't end up together? :pinkiecrazy:hell must have frozen over

10400651
Thanks! Glad you liked it c:

10400654
your crying nourishes me!!!

10400661
it's okay, it was too hot anyway

Damn. I figured that's how the happy part was gonna go. This was good.

This is going to haunt me for a while. Reading it at 4 am doesn’t help, I’m sure. Moving stuff, though!

10400668
Thank youuuu! I'm glad you liked it c:

10400670
I'm not sure if that's good or not, but I HOPE IT IS AND I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT?

God, I remembered this absolutely devastating me back when I first read it, and I still decided it was a good idea to read this new and improved version right now. I mean, it was, it's a great story, but still! It's even more devastating than it was in the contest, and that last line still hits like a truck.

im going to cryyyyyyy, RIP Raritwi

this was not a happy story

It's not 100% RariTwi. It needs a Tragedy tag I think...


Well done, Mono. I saw this ending coming but...I didn't want to.

*sees sad tag* hmmm happy story...

This was a most heartbreaking story, Mono! You always write Rarity so well and knows her emotions so perfectly. And you always make me cry.

It was great!

The ship sunk like the Titanic.

my heart... :fluttercry:

My heart. Celestia, my heart.

I think I've placed myself in Rarity's shoes a lot here. And it hurts. :fluttershyouch:

She left her for some two-bit schmuck from the capital? A'ight folks, gitcher torches n' pitchforks, it's time to topple a monarch! :flutterrage:

I had a good time reading this, heart-wrenching though it was :'3

Rarity's final line was just heart-wrenching. This was beautifully tragic Mono.

I remember when you published this as a snippet. And it's still just as cruel as back then :raritycry:

Oh, huh. When I first read the speedwrite entry I thought it was very, very good, and could be slighted fleshed-out to make it to 1k words for publishing.

I was not expecting this.

This isn't just a minor revision and fleshing-out, this is actually bringing to life in full what I already thought was a great story. This whole story is incredible and heartwrenching and the romantic dynamic you've laid out is such a wonderful foundation to work with that I think would be wonderful to explore more.

I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad, Twilight is happy, this is good. But Rarity is sad, this is horrible..

Man that’s pretty sad...
Funnily enough though, isn’t it funny that you could easily swap Twilight for Rarity and put Spike in rarity’s position and it would work just as well. Just food for thought

Edit: damn this got a lot of downvote (for me anyway) people don’t seem to like Spike in these comments lol

Double edit: seems in might have actually upset people with this, which I will say is my bad, didn’t mean for it to come off as a detriment to this fic. I commented about the spike thing not because I it’s better or whatever, but simple cod in this specific fic it reminded more of spike and rarity’s dynamic in that sense.
This fic was still a good read and I probably should have stated that a bit more in my original comment. Sorry everyone

Forward Observation Post to Fire Station Mono.
Confirmed direct hit on feeling.
Lock firing solution and repeat.
Fire for effect.
:twilightsmile:

oof, right in the feels, how could you... is good though, I enjoyed. :pinkiesad2:

Damn, this one is good. It's been awhile since I had a minute to just sit and read and this is definitely one I want to come back to with some mood music and just live in between the paragraphs for a while.

10401137
Lol, good decision. I think that drink was Spiked... get it

10400673
It’s a very good story indeed... but not an easy one to simply roll over and go to sleep after reading, is all, after it stirs up sadness and regrets. But it does make me love Rarity all the more.

Oh....oh....I'm not going to cry.....

This is a beautifully sad story, almost ethereal in its telling; I use that word because I'm not sure what the proper one would be, but it echoes like a masterpiece painted with silver and framed with gold leaf. I really love how Rarity sets the scene here, and her inlay of scenes like the bit of advice about one who loves and one who lets love, or the characterization in that she drinks to forget in a shoddy bar, but only the most expensive and exquisite wine, because, well, she's Rarity. (I will also mention that when I first heard that Twilight left her marefriend for another stallion, I thought it was a bit OOC, but somehow not in the content but in the delivery of her confession, it felt, tragically, like something that might happen.)

How painfully lovely with a dress I’d designed and a heart I’d once had. I loved her so much, and she looked more content than I’d ever seen her. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My darling, dearest beloved deserved the world and then more, to have everything she ever wanted in a silver platter made of love and affection and all sorts of wonderful things.

Ah! And this! This is the line that absolutely killed me, but, well, I didn't need my heart anyway. *sobs* Cheers! :raritywink::heart::twilightblush:

I liked the speedwrite version well enough, but you made it even more fantastic. That scene in the rain, in particular, was a lot of pain.

I'm a sucker for Rarity and Twilight romances - even more so for the failed ones.

Incidentally, the title reminded me of Labrinth's song, "Jealous," which has a line with the exact same words.

HASBRO MANDATED SHIPS

I was really hoping Rarity was gone to Saddle Arabia to hire an assassin. Then it would be a happy ending.

10401020

Edit: damn this got a lot of downvote (for me anyway) people don’t seem to like Spike in these comments lol

Respectfully, the reason you’re getting downvoted isn’t because no one likes Spike (Spike is a wonderful character; I personally love him), but because you deliberately came into a RariTwi fic only to say, essentially, “this was good but it could have been a sparity fic, just sayin’” which brings absolutely nothing productive to the conversation, is a back-handed compliment, and is rather invalidating towards the work.

:duck: And then I was betrothed to another... But never fear we became closer than ever,,,
:moustache: So we're having diner at Twilights as usual?
:twilightsmile: We're one big happy family
:pinkiehappy: This is a happy story our foals can go on play dates, visit Apple Jacks farm, go to school together, Watch the crown prince go away in battle in South East Asia dodging booby traps and friendly fire as we stay home and we all can be together, Like one big Party!
:flutterrage: DISCORD SNAP YOU PAWS! Rarity wants dragon babies for Twilights Anniversary :raritystarry: How'd she know?
:ajsmug: Cause she talked to Pinkie
:rainbowlaugh: and you know how she doesn't want frowny faces
:trollestia: Be happy for every loving moment - and cake lots and lots of cakes

I don't even like your ship why would you set it on fire just to hurt me like this

Mono on Friday: Don’t worry, TEK is coming back with all the Raritwi love you could ask for!

Mono on Monday: here’s 2k words of HEARTACHE.

Great story though! I’m here for it.

Dang! This feels like a B_25 Spike story but instead it's with Rarity.

(I promise this is a compliment.)

Very well done wrtiting here. Really felt the subtle melancholy.

10401586
Yeah I thought it was more that, I mainly did that edit as a joke. Though I didn’t mean for the original comment to come off as bluntly or backhanded as it did
I still really liked the fic, which I should have probably mentioned more.
It just made me think of they’re dynamic Considering the fics subject matter, which I should have made clearer. I don’t have anything against TwiXrarity, i tho k it’s pretty cute pair
Once again sorry if I came of as an ass wasn’t my intention

The lack of description about the stallion makes it less sad and more just, well, ponies fall down the stairs all the time. "The baron is a fine man, but one baron more, or one baron less, does it really matter?"

EDIT: By which I mean, with no positive attributes, the stallion is just a sort of inert object in the world. As if Twilight were infatuated with a stick or some old chewing gum stuck on the bottom of a table.

I had insomnia so I came here and read this and now I'm going to cry until I fall asleep. Thanks Mono, I guess.
I love Rarity and it hurts so hard to see her suffer. Also, I kinda dislike Twilight in this one... Idk why; it feels like she acted a little selfish towards Rarity, pressuring her to remain as her best friend. Or maybe I'm just taking it too personal.

Great job as always, Mono. Thank you for delight us with this melancholic piece of art.

How heartbreakingly magnificent, this story is.

Aw, Rarity...

Yes, tragedy and heartbreak. This is why I'm on this site.

Very good story. Normally I'm not one for happy endings, but in this case I'll make an exception.

Unrequited love sucks.

10402308
Twilight is ABSOLUTELY being selfish here. She's putting her desire for Rarity's friendship over Rarity's well being. Honestly, if there's no change in the emotional dynamic, then this pair of decisions, Twilight asking even when she knew she shouldn't, and Rarity agreeing even though she also knew she shouldn't, could well lead Rarity into some kind of major breakdown a few months to a couple of yerars down the road.

Looking for some cute Rarytwi to start my day... finds this. :raritydespair:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!