• Member Since 11th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Monochromatic


Perfect has seven letters and so does meeeeee.

E
Source

Non-canon prequel to The Enchanted Library


As a filly, Rarity's favorite bedtime story was about three princesses trapped throughout Equestria by a wicked spirit of chaos. How she dreamed of finding them all when she was older, especially the princess trapped in a library under a tree. She knew, however, that fairy tales weren't real.

Only when she grew up would she find out how very wrong she was.


Based on an AU a friend came up with in which Rarity stumbles across an enchanted library where Twilight is its spiritual guardian, and both form an unlikely friendship as she helps Twilight be restored to normal.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 112 )

Wow. A more interesting story then what I've seen before. Good job!

I want to sober up a bit before I read this, but is that original artwork?

5023947

Yes, it is! My friend drew that while she was coming up with the original concept of the AU.

5023954 I hope your friend knows that it's beautiful.

I can't say I'm a big fan of hopping into a story four months after the meeting, but it is an amazing story regardless, so have a like and fave. Now, you know what I want: Make this an on going! It need to continue! :eeyup:

These aren't tears! They're...I was maced. Maced, do you hear me? :raritydespair:

Seriously though, beautiful work.

5023505
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! :twilightblush:

5024056

Ahh, thank you so much!!

Thank you. Thank you for this wonderful piece of fiction. Thank you for a story that took me from a bad day and made it better. And lastly thank you for being real. thank you.

Huh, well obviously Rarity doesn't have the entire bedtime story, since she hadn't heard about Twilight's pet's deception and betrayal. It's an interesting idea, I suppose. Rarity's existence is peculiar, as she was clearly born much, much further into the future than the Nightmare incident, or Twilight's ascension. Were the bearers different ponies back then? Or is the timeline so divergent that there was no Nightmare Moon, and thus the elements never left the domain of the princess's control until Discord scattered them?

I loved this story, we really need more AU like this :ajsmug: Liked and faved, and as other people said: This deserves to continue xp

Awesome job!

I feel so sad for Spike. Eternally searching after Twilight, believing the person he loved most in the world had simply left him behind. :fluttercry:

A very interesting AU indeed, and one that I think begs for further exploration. There's so much left unanswered, like what happened to spike, where did Discord go, what are the other mane 6 up too in this verse, how did Rarity find this library to begin with, ect? This fic only just scratches the surface. Still it does a good job of presenting this AU and is a fun read, with good characterization.

This is pretty cool! :D Like the fairytale vibe.

This is amazing. If you have the inclination, you really should expand on this - there's a magnificent story just waiting to be told here.

IMN

If I ever gave an insta-fav for a story, it is definitely for this one.

Awesome story. I do wish you will continue it.

Far Far too awesome to leave as a single chapter.
:pinkiehappy:

:raritydespair: why is it only a single chapter!??????

Man, now here's an idea. I like the originality here. I hope I can get to read this sometime soon.

No... No! NOOOOOOO!

I must read more of this... PLEASE :raritydespair:

Oh, if only it had chapters.

But that little clifff hanger though

5024263

Indeed, Nightmare Moon didn't happen in this AU. Considering the original concept had Rarity being from much further in the future after Discord's plot (and thus Twilight never having befriended the mane5) and there being 4 princesses at the same time, I had to work around it and ended up discarding Nightmare Moon so yes, The elements were still under the control of the princesses.

Please continue this! This has all the ingredients to be EPIC!

Ok, that was quite good, and this AU seem really interesting...
Now I need to see more!
pretty please? :fluttercry:

This is a story that deserves to be written. Perhaps one of the most unique stories I've seen so far.

I loved this! I think it is a brilliant story idea and would love to read more if you decided to continue the story!

I want more of this.

You say it's a one-shot, but you marked it as incomplete. Why?

5025720

I just switched it! I've decided I will continue it, but I haven't updated the rest whoops

*grabs Monochromatic by the shirt* MORE!!!! GIVE ME MORE!!! :raritydespair:

This is pretty damn sad...
Trapped in caves and a tree forever?:fluttercry:
There must be a sequel where Rarity uses that gemology book to try and find the Elements of Harmony, making friends along the way, to save The Princesses!
I DEMAND THIS ADVENTURE FIC FOR THE SAKE OF A HAPPY ENDING!!:flutterrage:

5025841 Heck, you could make it a trilogy, with the first one ending with the elements saving Twilight. The two sequels could be focused around the quests for the other two princesses, respectively.
You don't have to though...:fluttercry:

I can't help but feel that Discord engaged in some naughty time-mangling shenanigans somewhere here. If that were true, imagine Twilight waiting for the time when her friends might be born and hoping that one of them would find her.

5025729
I guess I have to favorite the story now instead of just an up vote. Just wondering, are you going to finish up Birthday Disaster before you try and continue this story?

Also anyone interested, Monochromatic's magnum opus is Injuring Eternity. I'll plug the story for her because it really is that good.

Must... comment... must... fav... must... upvote... so... good...

sweet celestia!:pinkiegasp:
this is brilliant.
any chance of adding other character tags in the future?

Glad to hear there will eventually be more of this.:twilightsmile:

Eh, it was alright. There was some wonky sentences in there, particularly the use of repetitive wording and an excessive amount of referring to Rarity and Twilight as 'unicorn' or 'alicorn'. Some of the characterization seems haphazard (if this version of Rarity still hates dirt, why does she spend so much time in the Everfree? This version of Twilight kind of has an excuse for her poor control of her emotions, but it isn't presented consistently). Discord's involvement also feels like a contrived plot device--why would he just imprison 3 of the princesses, but not the other? How did he beat them so easily? His show characterization allows for flighty behavior, but this wasn't convincing to me.

The bigger problem, however, is the pacing. I can see why people asked for more--as a one-shot, there simply is not enough here to make a full story. It feels unfinished instead of evocative. As a prelude to a longer piece, however, it feels very rushed. The use of in medias res is usually designed to skip to the good part and make a story lighter on exposition. Here though, it just manages to skip the part I actually wanted to see (Rarity meeting Twilight), without the plot movement that in medias res usually causes.

This feels like it should be chapter 2, with their meeting as the first chapter and the fable as the prologue. And instead of a vague non-ending, this chapter should have a bit more of a hook into the main plot.

Overall, the prose wasn't bad on a technical level, but the sloppy pacing prevented me from enjoying it. Average, not enough to warrant a downvote nor upvote.

Quite a different story this is. I do hope it continues on, I certainly enjoyed this new outlook on an AU. (Oh and between you and me, Twilight is my favorite pony, and I do hope that something good happens in this Raritwi.) :rainbowlaugh:

5026200
Shush, you. We know you've been deprived of good stories, but bad stories are your domain. You will forever be the guy that reviews shitty stories.

5026617

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to write all that out. Yes, unfortunately, I got very repetitive with a few words and I understand how that could have been a problem. I'll try to correct as soon as I can.

As for your concerns with Discord and why he didn't imprison the 4th one... Well, I can't answer that or explain because of plot reasons... But basically the reason I had that entire scene told as a bedtime story or fairytale is that details get lost and fairytales aren't always exactly what happened. Nevertheless, I understand your point.


Pacing! Yes, it could have used more work... I know this isn't an excuse for my mistake, but seeing as this was (or will remain) a oneshot from an AU a friend did, I guess I wasnt as careful as I should have been. I was also experimenting with new styles, and well, I could indeed have done better. As for the story itself, I guess my plan both backfired and worked because I had originally intended to make it so it would work as standalone which is why I chose that scene with Twi and Rares. I knew that if I used the scene of how they met, it would imply that I was planning on doing more chapters at the moment, and since I wasn't back then, well...

In any case, thank you a lot for the comment. I appreciate you took the time for it, and I'll be sure to take your comments into account for future stories.

Gotta admit, it sure feels like more would be a pretty awesome thing. A new fairy tale way of building up how the elements of harmony come together.

It'd be pretty funny if they found a loophole for Twilight being bound to the library like Lucas used in Empire Records. He's told he's not allowed to leave the couch for any reason whatsoever, so he ends up taking a cushion from the couch so he can get out of the room he's in. I think that'd be a delightfully silly way to cheat Discord's curse - especially when it's something he'd probably approve of.

I get the feeling that Discord, in this world, isn't trying to punish them for the slight (real or imagined as it may be) forever and that his curse has a deliberate way through to act as the "okay, you've been punished long enough" switch.

There's just a lot of juicy nuggets to mine from this setup and I'd hate to see all that potential squandered.

This is the sort of story that makes the AU tag the best tag.

5026899 Because of plot reasons you say? Is that implying that their is to be a sequel?

I don't know why, but I got a good feeling about this story. I haven't read it beyond the synopsis, but I feel like it'll be good read just from that. I'm most definitely interested.

Wanderer D
Moderator

Well, happy to see that you'll be writing a proper story based on this! I look forward to seeing that! I'll keep an eye out for it!

5026953 She could magic the library to go wherever she goes!

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